good things to write a memoir about

63 Best Memoir Writing Prompts To Stoke Your Ideas

You’re writing a memoir. But you’re not sure what questions or life lessons you want to focus on.

Even if only family members and friends will read the finished book, you want to make it worth their time. 

This isn’t just a whimsical collection of anecdotes from your life.

You want to convey something to your readers that will stay with them. 

And maybe you want your memoir’s impact to serve as your legacy — a testament to how you made a small (or large) difference. 

The collection of memoir questions in this post can help you create a legacy worth sharing.

So, if you don’t already have enough ideas for a memoir, read on. 

A Strong Theme

Overcoming obstacles, emotional storytelling, satisfying ending, examples of good starting sentences for a memoir , 63 memoir writing prompts , what are the primary parts of a memoir.

Though similar to autobiographies, memoirs are less chronological and more impressionable – less historical and more relatable.

Resultantly, they’re structured differently. 

With that in mind, let’s look at five elements that tie a memoir together, rendering it more enjoyable.

Biographies are histories that may not hew to a cohesive theme. But memoirs focus on inspiring and enlightening experiences and events.

As such, books in the genre promote a theme or idea that binds the highlighted happenings to an overarching reflection point or lesson.

Many people are super at sniffing out insincerity, and most folks prefer candidness.

So while exact dates and logistical facts may be off in a memoir, being raw and real with emotions, revelations, and relational impacts is vital. To put it colloquially: The best personal accounts let it all hang out. 

People prefer inspiring stories. They want to read about people overcoming obstacles, standing as testaments to the tenacious nature of the human spirit. Why?

Because it engenders hope. If this person was able to achieve “x,” there’s a possibility I could, too. Furthermore, people find it comforting that they’re not the only ones who’ve faced seemingly insurmountable impediments.

Readers crave emotion. And for many of the stoic masses, books, plays, television shows, and films are their primary sources of sentimentality.

Historically, the best-performing memoirs are built on emotional frameworks that resonate with readers. The goal is to touch hearts, not just heads.

In a not-so-small way, memoirs are like romance books: Readers want a “happy” ending. So close strongly. Ensure the finale touches on the book’s central themes and emotional highlights.

End it with a smile and note of encouragement, leaving the audience satisfied and optimistic.

Use the following questions as memoir writing exercises . Choose those that immediately evoke memories that have stayed with you over the years.

Group them by theme — family, career, beliefs, etc. — and address at least one question a day. 

For each question, write freely for around 300 to 400 words. You can always edit it later to tighten it up or add more content. 

1. What is your earliest memory?

2. What have your parents told you about your birth that was unusual?

3. How well did you get along with your siblings, if you have any?

4. Which parent were you closest to growing up and why?

5. What parent or parental figure had the biggest influence on you growing up?

6. What is your happiest childhood memory?

7. What is your saddest or most painful childhood memory?

8. Did you have good parents? How did they show their love for you?

9. What words of theirs from your childhood do you remember most, and why?

10. What do you remember most about your parents’ relationship? 

11. Were your parents together, or did they live apart? Did they get along? 

12. How has your relationship with your parents affected your own love relationships?

13. Who or what did you want to be when you grew up? 

14. What shows or movies influenced you most during your childhood?

15. What were your favorite books to read, and how did they influence you?

16. If you grew up in a religious household, how did you see “God”? 

17. How did you think “God” saw you? Who influenced those beliefs?

18. Describe your spiritual journey from adolescence to the present?

19. Who was your first best friend? How did you become friends? 

20. Who was your favorite teacher in elementary school, and why?

21. Did you fit in with any social group or clique in school? Describe your social life?

22. What were your biggest learning challenges in school (academic or social)? 

23. Who was your first crush, and what drew you to them? How long did it last?

24. What was your favorite subject in school, and what did you love about it?

25. What do you wish you would have learned more about growing up?

26. What did you learn about yourself in high school? What was your biggest mistake?

27. What seemed normal to you growing up that now strikes you as messed up?

28. How old were you when you first moved away from home?

29. Who gave you your first kiss? And what do you remember most about it?

30. Who was your first love ? What do you remember most about them?

31. Was there ever a time in your life when you realized you weren’t straight? 

32. Describe a memorable argument you had with one of your parents? How did it end?

33. Have you lost a parent? How did it happen, and how did their death affect you?

34. What was your first real job? What do you remember most about it?

35. How did you spend the money you earned with that job? 

36. At what moment in your life did you feel most loved? 

37. At what moment in your life did you feel most alone?

38. What do you remember most about your high school graduation? Did it matter?

39. What’s something you’ve done that you never thought you would do?

40. What has been the greatest challenge of your life up to this point?

41. What did you learn in college that has had a powerful influence on you?

42. How has your family’s financial situation growing up influenced you?

43. How has someone’s harsh criticism of you led you to an important realization? 

44. Do you consider yourself a “good person”? Why or why not?

45. Who was the first person who considered you worth standing up for?

46. If you have children, whom did you trust with them when they were babies?

47. Did you have pets growing up? Did you feel close or attached to any of them?

More Related Articles

66 Horror Writing Prompts That Are Freaky As Hell

15 Common Grammar Mistakes That Kill Your Writing Credibility

61 Fantasy Writing Prompts To Stoke Your Creativity

48. Describe someone from your past whom you’d love to see again. 

49. Do you have a lost love? If yes, describe them, how you met, and how you lost them. 

50. Describe a moment when you made a fool of yourself and what it cost you. 

51. What is something you learned later in life that you wish you’d learned as a child?

52. How do you want others to see you? What words come to mind? 

53. What do you still believe now that you believed even as a child or as a teenager?

54. What do you no longer believe that you did believe as a child or teenager?

55. When have you alienated people by being vocal about your beliefs? 

56. Are you as vocal about your beliefs as you were when you were a young adult ?

57. Are you haunted by the consequences of beliefs you’ve since abandoned? 

58. How have your political beliefs changed since you were a teenager? 

59. Have you ever joined a protest for a cause you believe in? Would you still? 

60. How has technology shaped your life for the past 10 years? 

61.Has your chosen career made you happy — or cost you and your family too much?

62. What comes to mind if someone asks you what you’re good at? Why does it matter?

63. How is your family unique? What makes you proudest when you think about them?

We’ve looked at the elements that make memoirs shine. Now, let’s turn our attention to one of the most important parts of a personal account: the opening sentence.

We’ve scoured some of the most successful, moving memoirs of all time to curate a list of memorable starting sentences. Notice how all of them hint at the theme of the book.

Let’s jump in.

1. “They called him Moishe the Beadle, as if his entire life he had never had a surname.” From Night, a first-hand account of the WWII Holocaust by Elie Wiesel

2. “My mother is scraping a piece of burned toast out of the kitchen window, a crease of annoyance across her forehead.” From Toast: The Story of a Boy’s Hunger, foodie Nigel Slater’s account of culinary events that shaped his life.

3. “Then there was the bad weather.” From A Moveable Feast , Ernest Hemingway’s telling of his years as an young expat in Paris

4. “You know those plants always trying to find the light?” From Over the Top: A Raw Journey of Self-Love by Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’s beloved star, Jonathan Van Ness

5. “What are you looking at me for? I didn’t come to stay.” From Maya Angelou’s masterpiece, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings , the story of persevering in the face of seemingly insurmountable obstacles

6. “I’m on Kauai, in Hawaii, today, August 5, 2005. It’s unbelievably clear and sunny, not a cloud in the sky.” From What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami, a memoir about the fluidity of running and writing

7. “The soil in Leitrim is poor, in places no more than an inch deep. ” From All Will be Well , Irish writer John McGahern’s recounting of his troubled childhood 

8. “The past is beautiful because one never realizes an emotion at the time.” From Educated , Tara Westover’s engrossing account of her path from growing up in an uneducated survivalist family to earning a doctorate in intellectual history from Cambridge University 

9. “I flipped through the CT scan images, the diagnosis obvious.” From When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi, the now-deceased doctor’s journey toward mortality after discovering he had terminal cancer

10. “Romantic love is the most important and exciting thing in the entire world.” From Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton, a funny, light-hearted memoir about one woman’s amorous journey from teenager to twentysomething

Final Thoughts

These memoir topics should get ideas flooding into your mind. All you have to do, then, is let them out onto the page. The more you write, the easier it will be to choose the primary focus for your memoir. And the more fun you’ll have writing it. 

That’s not to say it’ll be easy to create a powerful memoir. It won’t be. But the more clarity you have about its overall mission, the more easily the words will flow. 

Enjoy these memoir writing exercises. And apply the same clarity of focus during the editing process. Your readers will thank you. 

Leave a Comment Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed .

If you’ve thought about putting your life to the page, you may have wondered how to write a memoir. We start the road to writing a memoir when we realize that a story in our lives demands to be told. As Maya Angelou once wrote, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

How to write a memoir? At first glance, it looks easy enough—easier, in any case, than writing fiction. After all, there is no need to make up a story or characters, and the protagonist is none other than you.

Still, memoir writing carries its own unique challenges, as well as unique possibilities that only come from telling your own true story. Let’s dive into how to write a memoir by looking closely at the craft of memoir writing, starting with a key question: exactly what is a memoir?

How to Write a Memoir: Contents

What is a Memoir?

• Memoir vs Autobiography

Memoir Examples

Short memoir examples.

• How to Write a Memoir: A Step-by-Step Guide

A memoir is a branch of creative nonfiction , a genre defined by the writer Lee Gutkind as “true stories, well told.” The etymology of the word “memoir,” which comes to us from the French, tells us of the human urge to put experience to paper, to remember. Indeed, a memoir is “ something written to be kept in mind .”

A memoir is defined by Lee Gutkind as “true stories, well told.”

For a piece of writing to be called a memoir, it has to be:

• Nonfictional
• Based on the raw material of your life and your memories
• Written from your personal perspective

At this point, memoirs are beginning to sound an awful lot like autobiographies. However, a quick comparison of Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love , and The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin , for example, tells us that memoirs and autobiographies could not be more distinct.

Next, let’s look at the characteristics of a memoir and what sets memoirs and autobiographies apart. Discussing memoir vs. autobiography will not only reveal crucial insights into the process of writing a memoir, but also help us to refine our answer to the question, “What is a memoir?”

Memoir vs. Autobiography

While both use personal life as writing material, there are five key differences between memoir and autobiography:

1. Structure

Since autobiographies tell the comprehensive story of one’s life, they are more or less chronological. writing a memoir, however, involves carefully curating a list of personal experiences to serve a larger idea or story, such as grief, coming-of-age, and self-discovery. As such, memoirs do not have to unfold in chronological order.

While autobiographies attempt to provide a comprehensive account, memoirs focus only on specific periods in the writer’s life. The difference between autobiographies and memoirs can be likened to that between a CV and a one-page resume, which includes only select experiences.

The difference between autobiographies and memoirs can be likened to that between a CV and a one-page resume, which includes only select experiences.

Autobiographies prioritize events; memoirs prioritize the writer’s personal experience of those events. Experience includes not just the event you might have undergone, but also your feelings, thoughts, and reflections. Memoir’s insistence on experience allows the writer to go beyond the expectations of formal writing. This means that memoirists can also use fiction-writing techniques , such as scene-setting and dialogue , to capture their stories with flair.

4. Philosophy

Another key difference between the two genres stems from the autobiography’s emphasis on facts and the memoir’s reliance on memory. Due to memory’s unreliability, memoirs ask the reader to focus less on facts and more on emotional truth. In addition, memoir writers often work the fallibility of memory into the narrative itself by directly questioning the accuracy of their own memories.

Memoirs ask the reader to focus less on facts and more on emotional truth.

5. Audience

While readers pick up autobiographies to learn about prominent individuals, they read memoirs to experience a story built around specific themes . Memoirs, as such, tend to be more relatable, personal, and intimate. Really, what this means is that memoirs can be written by anybody!

Ready to be inspired yet? Let’s now turn to some memoir examples that have received widespread recognition and captured our imaginations!

If you’re looking to lose yourself in a book, the following memoir examples are great places to begin:

• The Year of Magical Thinking , which chronicles Joan Didion’s year of mourning her husband’s death, is certainly one of the most powerful books on grief. Written in two short months, Didion’s prose is urgent yet lucid, compelling from the first page to the last. A few years later, the writer would publish Blue Nights , another devastating account of grief, only this time she would be mourning her daughter.
• Patti Smith’s Just Kids is a classic coming-of-age memoir that follows the author’s move to New York and her romance and friendship with the artist Robert Maplethorpe. In its pages, Smith captures the energy of downtown New York in the late sixties and seventies effortlessly.
• When Breath Becomes Air begins when Paul Kalanithi, a young neurosurgeon, is diagnosed with terminal cancer. Exquisite and poignant, this memoir grapples with some of the most difficult human experiences, including fatherhood, mortality, and the search for meaning.
• A memoir of relationship abuse, Carmen Maria Machado’s In the Dream House is candid and innovative in form. Machado writes about thorny and turbulent subjects with clarity, even wit. While intensely personal, In the Dream House is also one of most insightful pieces of cultural criticism.
• Twenty-five years after leaving for Canada, Michael Ondaatje returns to his native Sri Lanka to sort out his family’s past. The result is Running in the Family , the writer’s dazzling attempt to reconstruct fragments of experiences and family legends into a portrait of his parents’ and grandparents’ lives. (Importantly, Running in the Family was sold to readers as a fictional memoir; its explicit acknowledgement of fictionalization prevented it from encountering the kind of backlash that James Frey would receive for fabricating key facts in A Million Little Pieces , which he had sold as a memoir . )
• Of the many memoirs published in recent years, Tara Westover’s Educated is perhaps one of the most internationally-recognized. A story about the struggle for self-determination, Educated recounts the writer’s childhood in a survivalist family and her subsequent attempts to make a life for herself. All in all, powerful, thought-provoking, and near impossible to put down.

While book-length memoirs are engaging reads, the prospect of writing a whole book can be intimidating. Fortunately, there are plenty of short, essay-length memoir examples that are just as compelling.

While memoirists often write book-length works, you might also consider writing a memoir that’s essay-length. Here are some short memoir examples that tell complete, lived stories, in far fewer words:

• “ The Book of My Life ” offers a portrait of a professor that the writer, Aleksandar Hemon, once had as a child in communist Sarajevo. This memoir was collected into Hemon’s The Book of My Lives , a collection of essays about the writer’s personal history in wartime Yugoslavia and subsequent move to the US.
• “The first time I cheated on my husband, my mother had been dead for exactly one week.” So begins Cheryl Strayed’s “ The Love of My Life ,” an essay that the writer eventually expanded into the best-selling memoir, Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail .
• In “ What We Hunger For ,” Roxane Gay weaves personal experience and a discussion of The Hunger Games into a powerful meditation on strength, trauma, and hope. “What We Hunger For” can also be found in Gay’s essay collection, Bad Feminist .
• A humorous memoir structured around David Sedaris and his family’s memories of pets, “ The Youth in Asia ” is ultimately a story about grief, mortality and loss. This essay is excerpted from the memoir Me Talk Pretty One Day , and a recorded version can be found here .

So far, we’ve 1) answered the question “What is a memoir?” 2) discussed differences between memoirs vs. autobiographies, 3) taken a closer look at book- and essay-length memoir examples. Next, we’ll turn the question of how to write a memoir.

How to Write a Memoir: A-Step-by-Step Guide

1. how to write a memoir: generate memoir ideas.

how to start a memoir? As with anything, starting is the hardest. If you’ve yet to decide what to write about, check out the “ I Remember ” writing prompt. Inspired by Joe Brainard’s memoir I Remember , this prompt is a great way to generate a list of memories. From there, choose one memory that feels the most emotionally charged and begin writing your memoir. It’s that simple! If you’re in need of more prompts, our Facebook group is also a great resource.

2. How to Write a Memoir: Begin drafting

My most effective advice is to resist the urge to start from “the beginning.” Instead, begin with the event that you can’t stop thinking about, or with the detail that, for some reason, just sticks. The key to drafting is gaining momentum . Beginning with an emotionally charged event or detail gives us the drive we need to start writing.

3. How to Write a Memoir: Aim for a “ shitty first draft ”

Now that you have momentum, maintain it. Attempting to perfect your language as you draft makes it difficult to maintain our impulses to write. It can also create self-doubt and writers’ block. Remember that most, if not all, writers, no matter how famous, write shitty first drafts.

Attempting to perfect your language as you draft makes it difficult to maintain our impulses to write.

4. How to Write a Memoir: Set your draft aside

Once you have a first draft, set it aside and fight the urge to read it for at least a week. Stephen King recommends sticking first drafts in your drawer for at least six weeks. This period allows writers to develop the critical distance we need to revise and edit the draft that we’ve worked so hard to write.

5. How to Write a Memoir: Reread your draft

While reading your draft, note what works and what doesn’t, then make a revision plan. While rereading, ask yourself:

• What’s underdeveloped, and what’s superfluous.
• Does the structure work?
• What story are you telling?

6. How to Write a Memoir: Revise your memoir and repeat steps 4 & 5 until satisfied

Every piece of good writing is the product of a series of rigorous revisions. Depending on what kind of writer you are and how you define a draft,” you may need three, seven, or perhaps even ten drafts. There’s no “magic number” of drafts to aim for, so trust your intuition. Many writers say that a story is never, truly done; there only comes a point when they’re finished with it. If you find yourself stuck in the revision process, get a fresh pair of eyes to look at your writing.

7. How to Write a Memoir: Edit, edit, edit!

Once you’re satisfied with the story, begin to edit the finer things (e.g. language, metaphor , and details). Clean up your word choice and omit needless words , and check to make sure you haven’t made any of these common writing mistakes . Be sure to also know the difference between revising and editing —you’ll be doing both. Then, once your memoir is ready, send it out !

Learn How to Write a Memoir at Writers.com

Writing a memoir for the first time can be intimidating. But, keep in mind that anyone can learn how to write a memoir. Trust the value of your own experiences: it’s not about the stories you tell, but how you tell them. Most importantly, don’t give up!

Anyone can learn how to write a memoir.

If you’re looking for additional feedback, as well as additional instruction on how to write a memoir, check out our schedule of nonfiction classes . Now, get started writing your memoir!

32 Comments

Thank you for this website. It’s very engaging. I have been writing a memoir for over three years, somewhat haphazardly, based on the first half of my life and its encounters with ignorance (religious restrictions, alcohol, and inability to reach out for help). Three cities were involved: Boston as a youngster growing up and going to college, then Washington DC and Chicago North Shore as a married woman with four children. I am satisfied with some chapters and not with others. Editing exposes repetition and hopefully discards boring excess. Reaching for something better is always worth the struggle. I am 90, continue to be a recital pianist, a portrait painter, and a writer. Hubby has been dead for nine years. Together we lept a few of life’s chasms and I still miss him. But so far, my occupations keep my brain working fairly well, especially since I don’t smoke or drink (for the past 50 years).

Hi Mary Ellen,

It sounds like a fantastic life for a memoir! Thank you for sharing, and best of luck finishing your book. Let us know when it’s published!

Best, The writers.com Team

Hello Mary Ellen,

I am contacting you because your last name (Lavelle) is my middle name!

Being interested in genealogy I have learned that this was my great grandfathers wife’s name (Mary Lavelle), and that her family emigrated here about 1850 from County Mayo, Ireland. That is also where my fathers family came from.

Is your family background similar?

Hope to hear back from you.

Richard Lavelle Bourke

Hi Mary Ellen: Have you finished your memoir yet? I just came across your post and am seriously impressed that you are still writing. I discovered it again at age 77 and don’t know what I would do with myself if I couldn’t write. All the best to you!! Sharon [email protected]

I am up to my eyeballs with a research project and report for a non-profit. And some paid research for an international organization. But as today is my 90th birthday, it is time to retire and write a memoir.

So I would like to join a list to keep track of future courses related to memoir / creative non-fiction writing.

Hi Frederick,

Happy birthday! And happy retirement as well. I’ve added your name and email to our reminder list for memoir courses–when we post one on our calendar, we’ll send you an email.

We’ll be posting more memoir courses in the near future, likely for the months of January and February 2022. We hope to see you in one!

Very interesting and informative, I am writing memoirs from my long often adventurous and well travelled life, have had one very short story published. Your advice on several topics will be extremely helpful. I write under my schoolboy nickname Barnaby Rudge.

[…] How to Write a Memoir: Examples and a Step-by-Step Guide […]

I am writing my memoir from my memory when I was 5 years old and now having left my birthplace I left after graduation as a doctor I moved to UK where I have been living. In between I have spent 1 year in Canada during my training year as paediatrician. I also spent nearly 2 years with British Army in the hospital as paediatrician in Germany. I moved back to UK to work as specialist paediatrician in a very busy general hospital outside London for the next 22 years. Then I retired from NHS in 2012. I worked another 5 years in Canada until 2018. I am fully retired now

I have the whole convoluted story of my loss and horrid aftermath in my head (and heart) but have no clue WHERE, in my story to begin. In the middle of the tragedy? What led up to it? Where my life is now, post-loss, and then write back and forth? Any suggestions?

My friend Laura who referred me to this site said “Start”! I say to you “Start”!

Hi Dee, that has been a challenge for me.i dont know where to start?

What was the most painful? Embarrassing? Delicious? Unexpected? Who helped you? Who hurt you? Pick one story and let that lead you to others.

I really enjoyed this writing about memoir. I ve just finished my own about my journey out of my city then out of my country to Egypt to study, Never Say Can’t, God Can Do It. Infact memoir writing helps to live the life you are writing about again and to appreciate good people you came across during the journey. Many thanks for sharing what memoir is about.

I went to Egypt earlier this year. I aspire for my second book to document and tell the story of my travels of Africa, following the first – a memoir that led me to this post.

I am a survivor of gun violence, having witnessed my adult son being shot 13 times by police in 2014. I have struggled with writing my memoir because I have a grandson who was 18-months old at the time of the tragedy and was also present, as was his biological mother and other family members. We all struggle with PTSD because of this atrocity. My grandson’s biological mother was instrumental in what happened and I am struggling to write the story in such a way as to not cast blame – thus my dilemma in writing the memoir. My grandson was later adopted by a local family in an open adoption and is still a big part of my life. I have considered just writing it and waiting until my grandson is old enough to understand all the family dynamics that were involved. Any advice on how I might handle this challenge in writing would be much appreciated.

I decided to use a ghost writer, and I’m only part way in the process and it’s worth every penny!

Hi. I am 44 years old and have had a roller coaster life .. right as a young kid seeing his father struggle to financial hassles, facing legal battles at a young age and then health issues leading to a recent kidney transplant. I have been working on writing a memoir sharing my life story and titled it “A memoir of growth and gratitude” Is it a good idea to write a memoir and share my story with the world?

Thank you… this was very helpful. I’m writing about the troubling issues of my mental health, and how my life was seriously impacted by that. I am 68 years old.

[…] Writers.com: How to Write a Memoir […]

[…] Writers.com: “How to Write a Memoir” […]

I am so grateful that I found this site! I am inspired and encouraged to start my memoir because of the site’s content and the brave people that have posted in the comments.

Finding this site is going into my gratitude journey 🙂

We’re grateful you found us too, Nichol! 🙂

Firstly, I would like to thank you for all the info pertaining to memoirs. I believe am on the right track, am at the editing stage and really have to use an extra pair of eyes. I’m more motivated now to push it out and complete it. Thanks for the tips it was very helpful, I have a little more confidence it seeing the completion.

Well, I’m super excited to begin my memoir. It’s hard trying to rely on memories alone, but I’m going to give it a shot!

Thanks to everyone who posted comments, all of which have inspired me to get on it.

Best of luck to everyone! Jody V.

I was thrilled to find this material on How to Write A Memoir. When I briefly told someone about some of my past experiences and how I came to the United States in the company of my younger brother in a program with a curious name, I was encouraged by that person and others to write my life history.

Based on the name of that curious program through which our parents sent us to the United States so we could leave the place of our birth, and be away from potentially difficult situations in our country.

As I began to write my history I took as much time as possible to describe all the different steps that were taken. At this time – I have been working on this project for 5 years and am still moving ahead. The information I received through your material has further encouraged me to move along. I am very pleased to have found this important material. Thank you!

Wow! This is such an informative post packed with tangible guidance. I poured my heart into a book. I’ve been a professional creative for years to include as a writer, mainly in the ad game and content. No editor. I wasn’t trying to make it as an author. Looking back, I think it’s all the stuff I needed to say. Therapy. Which does not, in and of itself, make for a coherent book. The level of writing garnering praise, but the book itself was a hot mess. So, this is helpful. I really put myself out there, which I’ve done in many areas, but the crickets response really got to me this time. I bought “Educated” as you recommended. Do you have any blog posts on memoirs that have something to say to the world, finding that “something” to say? It feels like that’s theme, but perhaps something more granular. Thanks for this fantastic post. If I had the moola, I would sign up for a class. Your time is and effort is appreciated. Typos likely on comments! LOL

thanks. God bless

I am a member of the “Reprobates”, a group of seven retired Royal Air Force pilots and navigators which has stayed in intermittent touch since we first met in Germany in 1969. Four of the group (all of whom are in their late seventies or early eighties) play golf together quite frequently, and we all gather for reunions once or twice a year. About a year ago, one of the Reprobates suggested posterity might be glad to hear the stories told at these gatherings, and there have since been two professionally conducted recording sessions, one in London, and one in Tarifa, Spain. The instigator of these recordings forwarded your website to his fellow Reprobates by way of encouragement to put pen to paper. And, I, for one, have found it inspiring. It’s high time I made a start on my Memoirs, thank you.

Thank you for sharing this, Tim! Happy writing!

Hi, I’m Jo. I’m finally jumping in and writing the memoir that has been running alongside me for at least the last 5 years. I’m terrified, of what I’m not 100% sure. The story won’t leave me alone and right now is the time to start my first draft. I’m approaching half way through what nature may call natural life on Earth, mid-life sounds strange to say. It just feels like the right time to document the journey thus far – especially the last decade. It’s been a radical time for transformation, internally and externally. I’m afraid but your post and these comments have helped.

Good luck on your memoir, Jo! I’m excited to hear more.

Leave a Comment Cancel Reply

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Write a Great Memoir: How to Start (and Actually Finish) Your First Draft

by Joe Bunting | 1 comment

When I first started writing my memoir, Crowdsourcing Paris , about a real-life adventure I experienced with my wife and ten-month-old son, I thought it was going to be easy.

After all, by that point in my career, I had already written four books, two of which became bestsellers. I’ve got this, I thought. Simple.

It wasn’t. By the time Crowdsourcing Paris was published and became a #1 New Release on Amazon, it was more than five years later. During that time, I made just about every mistake, but I also learned a process that will reliably help anyone to start and finish writing a great memoir.

My memoir, Crowdsourcing Paris , as a #1 New Release on Amazon!

In this guide, I want to talk about how you can start writing your memoir, how you can actually finish it, and how you can make sure it’s good .

If you read this article from start to finish, it will save you hundreds of hours and result in a much better finished memoir.

Hot tip : Throughout this guide, I will be referencing my memoir Crowdsourcing Paris as an example. To get the most out of this guide and the memoir writing process in general, get a copy of the book to use as an example. Order your copy here »

But Wait! What Is a Memoir? (Memoir Definition)

How do you know if you're writing a memoir? Here's a quick memoir definition:

A memoir is a book length account or autobiography about a real life situation or event. It usually includes a pivotal experience in your life journey.

A key point to make is that memoir is a  true story . You don't have to get every piece of dialogue perfect, but you do have to try to tell the personal story or experience as best as you remember.

If you're looking to fictionalize your real life account you're writing a novel, not a memoir (and specifically a roman à clef novel ).

For more on the difference between a novel and a memoir, check out this coaching video:

How to Get Started With Your Memoir: 10 Steps Before You Start Writing

This guide is broken into sections: what to do before you start writing and how to write your first draft.

When most people decide to write a memoir, they just start writing. They write about the first life experience they can think of.

That’s sort of what I did too. I just started writing about my trip to Paris, beginning with how I first decided to go as a way to become a “real writer.” It turned out to be the biggest mistake I made.

If you want to finish your memoir, and even more, write a good memoir, just starting with the first memory you can think of will make things much harder for you.

Instead, get started with a memoir plan.

What’s a memoir plan? There are ten elements. Let’s break it down.

Get the memoir plan in a downloadable worksheet. Click to download your memoir plan »

1. Write Your Memoir Premise in One Sentence

The first part of a memoir plan is your premise. A premise is a one-sentence summary of your book idea.

You might be wondering, how can I summarize my entire life in a single sentence?

The answer is, you can’t. Memoir isn’t a full autobiography. It’s not meant to be a historical account of your entire life story. Instead, it should share one specific situation and what you learned from that situation.

Every memoir premise should contain three things:

• A Character. For your memoir, that character will always be you . For the purposes of your premise, though, it’s a good idea to practice thinking of yourself as the main character of your story. So describe yourself in third person and use one descriptive adjective, e.g. a cautious writer.
• A Situation. Memoirs are about a specific event, situation, or experience. For example, Marion Roach Smith’s bestselling memoir was about the discovery that her mother had Alzheimer’s, which at the time was a fairly unknown illness. My memoir, Crowdsourcing Paris , begins on the first day of my trip to Paris and ends on the day I left. You can’t write about everything, at least in this book. But you can write about one thing well, and save all the other ideas for the next book.
• A Lesson. What life lesson did you learn from this situation? How did your life change inexorably after going through this situation? Again, here you can’t write about everything you’ve ever learned. Choose ONE life lesson or emotional truth and focus on it.

Want to see how a premise actually looks? Here’s an example from my memoir Crowdsourcing Paris :

When a Cautious Writer is forced by his audience to do uncomfortable adventures in Paris he learns the best stories come when you get out of your comfort zone.

One thing to note: a premise is not a book description. My book description, which you can see here , is totally different from the premise. It’s more suspenseful and also less detailed in some ways. That’s because the purpose of a premise isn’t to sell books.

What is the premise of your memoir? Share it in the comments below!

2. Set a Deadline to Finish Your First Draft

Or if you’ve already finished a draft, set a deadline to finish your next draft.

This is crucial to do now , before you do anything else. Why? Because there are parts of the memoir plan that you can spend months, even years on. But while planning is helpful, it can easily become a distraction if you don’t get to the writing part of the process.

That’s why you want to put a time limit on your planning by setting a deadline.

How long should the deadline be?

Stephen King says you should write a first draft in no longer than a season. So ninety days.

In my 100 Day Book program, we’ve helped hundreds of memoir writers finish their book in just 100 days. To me, that’s a good amount of time to finish a first draft.

However, I wouldn’t take any longer than 100 days. Writing a book requires a level of focus that’s difficult to achieve over a long period of time. If you set your deadline for longer than 100 days, you might never finish.

Also set weekly milestones.

In addition to your final deadline, I recommend breaking up the writing process into weekly milestones.

If you’re going to write a 65,000-word memoir over 100 days, let’s say, then divide 65,000 by the number of weeks (about 14) to get your weekly word count goal: about 4,600 words per week.

That will give you a sense of how much progress you’re making each week, so you won’t be in a huge rush to finish right at the end of your deadline. After all, no one can pull an all-nighter and finish a book! Create a writing habit that will enable you to actually finish your book.

Keep track of your word count deadlines.

By the way, this is one reason I love Scrivener , my favorite book writing software , because it allows you to set a target deadline and word count. Then Scrivener automatically calculates how much you need to write every day to reach your deadline.

It’s a great way to keep track of your deadline and how much more you have to write. Check out my review of Scrivener to learn more.

3. Create Consequences to Make Quitting Hard

I’ve learned from experience that a deadline alone isn’t enough. You also have to give your deadline teeth .

Writing a book is hard. To make sure that you show up to the page and do the work you need to finish, you need to make it harder to not write.

How? By creating consequences.

I learned this from a friend of mine, writer and book marketing expert Tim Grahl .

“If you really want to finish your book,” he told me, “write a check for $1,000 to a charity you hate. Then give that check to a friend with instructions to send it if you don’t hit your deadline.”

“I don’t need to do that,” I told him. “I’m a pro. I have discipline.” But a month later, after I still hadn’t made any progress on my memoir, I finally decided to take his advice.

This was during the 2016 U.S. presidential election. So I wrote a $1,000 check to the presidential candidate that I most disliked (who shall remain nameless!), and gave it to a friend with instructions to send the check if I didn’t hit my final deadline.

I also created smaller consequences for the weekly deadlines, which I highly recommend. Here’s how it works:

Consequence #1 : Small consequence, preferably related to a guilty pleasure that might keep you from writing. For example, giving up a game on your phone or watching TV until you finish your book.

Consequence #2 : Giving up a guilty pleasure. For example, giving up ice cream, soda, or alcohol until you finish your book.

Consequence #3 : Send the $1,000 check to the charity you hate.

Each of these would happen if I missed three weekly deadlines. If I missed the final deadline, then just the $1,000 check would get sent.

After I put in each of these consequences, I was the most focused and productive I’ve ever been in my life. I finished my book in just nine weeks and never missed a deadline.

If you actually want to finish your memoir, give this process a try. I think you’ll be surprised by how well it works for you.

4. Decide What Kind of Story You’re Telling

Now that you’ve set your deadline, start thinking about what kind of book you’re writing. What is your story really about?

“Memoir is about something you know after something you’ve been through,” says Marion Roach Smith, author of The Memoir Project .

I think there are seven types of stories that most memoirs are about.

• Coming of Age. A story about a young person finding their place in the world. A great example is 7 Story Mountain  by Thomas Merton.
• Education. An education story , according to Kim Kessler and Story Grid, is about a naive character who, through the course of the story, comes to a bigger understanding of the world that gives meaning to their existing life. My memoir, Crowdsourcing Paris , is a great example of an education memoir.
• Love. A love story is about a romantic relationship, either the story of a breakup or of two characters coming together. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert is a great example of a love story memoir, as it tells the story of her divorce and then re-discovering herself and love as she travels the world.
• Adventure/Action. All adventure stories are about life and death situations. Also, most travel memoirs are adventure stories. Wild by Cheryl Strayed is a great example, and Crowdsourcing Paris is also an adventure story. (You can apply the principles from our How to Write Adventure guide here , too!)
• Performance. Performance memoirs are about a big competition or a competitive pursuit. Julie and Julia , Julie Powell’s memoir about cooking her way through Julia Child’s recipes, is a good example of a performance memoir. Outlaw Platoon , about the longest-serving Ranger platoon in Afghanistan, is another great performance story.
• Thriller. Memoirs about abuse or even an illness could fall into the crime, horror, or thriller arena. (Our full guide on How to Write a Thriller is here .)
• Society. What is wrong with society? And how can you rebel against the status quo? Society stories are very common as memoirs. I would also argue that most humor memoirs are society stories, since they talk about one person’s funny, transgressive view on society. Anything by David Sedaris, for example, is a society memoir.

For more on all of these genres, check out Story Grid’s article How to Use Story Grid to Write a Memoir .

Three Stories

Note that I included my memoir in two categories. That’s because most books, including memoirs, are actually a combination of three stories. You have:

• An external story. For example, Crowdsourcing Paris is an adventure story.
• An internal story . As I said, Crowdsourcing Paris is an education story.
• A subplot . Usually the subplot is another external story, in my case, a love story.

What three stories are you telling in your memoir?

5. Visualize Your Intention

One of the things that I’ve learned as I’ve coached hundreds of writers to finish their books is that if you visualize the following you are much more likely to follow through and accomplish your writing goals:

• Where you're going to write
• When you're going to write
• How much you're going to write

Here I want you to actively visualize yourself at your favorite writing spot accomplishing the word count goal that you set in step two.

For example, when I was writing Crowdsourcing Paris , I would imagine myself sitting at this one café that was eight doors down from my office. I liked it because it had a little bit of a French feel. Then I would imagine myself there from eight in the morning until about ten.

Finally, I would actively visualize myself watching the word count tracker go from 999 to 1,000 words, which was my goal every day. Just that process of imagining my intention was so helpful.

What is your intention? Where, when, and how much will you write? Imagine yourself actually sitting there in the place you’re going to write your memoir.

6. Who Will Be On Your Team?

No one can write a book alone. I learned this the hard way, and the result was that it took me five years to finish my memoir.

For every other book that I had written, I had other people holding me accountable. Without my team, I know that I would never have written those books. But when I tried to write my memoir, I thought, I can do this on my own. I don’t need accountability, encouragement, and support. I’ve got this.

To figure out who you need to help you finish your memoir, create three different lists of people:

• Other writers. These are people who you can process, with who know the process of writing a book. Some will be a little bit ahead of you, so that when you get stuck, they can encourage you and say, “I’ve been there. You’re going to get through it. Keep working.”
• Readers. Or if you don’t have readers, friends and family. These will be the people who give you feedback on your finished book before it’s published, e.g. beta readers.
• Professional editors. But you also need professional feedback. I recommend listing two different editors here, a content editor to give feedback on the book as a whole (for example, I recommend a Write Practice Certified Coach), and a proofreader or line editor to help polish the final draft. (Having professional editing software is smart too. We like ProWritingAid. Check out our ProWritingAid review .)

Just remember: it takes a team to finish a book. Don’t try to do it on your own.

And if you don’t have relationships with other writers who can be on your team, check out The Write Practice Pro. This is the community I post my writing in to get feedback. Many of my best writing friends came directly from this community. You can learn more about The Write Practice Pro here .

7. What Other Books Will Inspire You?

“Books are made from books,” said Cormac McCarthy. Great writers learn how to write great books by reading other great books, and so should you.

I recommend finding three to five other memoirs that can inspire you during the writing process.

I recommend two criteria for the books you choose:

• Commercially successful. If you want your book to be commercially successful, choose other books that have done well in the marketplace.
• Similar story type. Try to find books that are the same story type that you learned in step four.

For my memoir, I had four main sources of inspiration.

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert; The Innocents Abroad by Mark Twain; A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway; and Midnight in Paris , the film by Woody Allen.

I referred back to these sources all the time. For example, when I was stuck on the climactic scene in the memoir, I watched one scene in A Midnight in Paris twenty times until I could quote the dialogue. I still didn’t come up with the solution until the next day, but understanding how other writers solved the problems I was facing helped me figure out my own solutions for my story.

8. Who Is Your Reader Avatar?

Who is your book going to be for? Or who is the one person you’ll think of when you write your book? When the writing gets hard and you want to quit, who will be most disappointed if you never finish your book?

I learned this idea from J.R.R. Tolkien, who wrote his novel The Hobbit for his three boys as a bedtime story. Every day he would work on his pages, and every night he would go home and read them to his sons. And this gave him an amazing way to get feedback. He knew whether they laughed at one part or got bored at another.

This helped him make his story better, but I also imagine it gave him a tremendous amount of motivation.

This Can Be You, Sort Of

I don’t think your reader avatar should be you. When it comes to your own writing, you are the least objective person.

There’s one caveat: you can be your own reader avatar IF you’re writing to a version of yourself at a different time. For example, I have friends who have imagined they were writing to a younger version of themselves.

Who will you write your memoir for?

9. Publishing and Marketing

How will you publish your book? Will you go the traditional route or will you self-publish? Who is your target market (check your reader avatar for help)? What will you do to promote and market your book? Do you have an author website ?

It might be strange to start planning for the publishing and marketing of your book before you ever start writing it, but what I’ve discovered is that when you think through the entire writing process, from the initial idea all the way through the publishing and marketing process, you are much more likely to finish your book.

In fact, in my 100 Day Book program, I found that people who finished this planning process were 52 percent more likely to finish their book.

Spend some time thinking about your publishing and marketing plans. Just thinking about it will help you when you start writing.

Start Building Your Audience Before You Need It

In the current publishing climate, most memoir agents and publishers want you to have some kind of relationship with an audience before they will consider your book.

Start building an audience before you need it. The first step to building an audience, and the first step to publishing in general, is building an author website. If you don’t have a website yet, you can find our full author website guide here .

(Building a website doesn’t have to be intimidating or time-consuming if you have the right guide.)

10. Outline Your Memoir

The final step of the planning process is your memoir outline . This could be the subject of a whole article itself. Here, I’ve learned so much from Story Grid, but if you don’t have time to read the book and listen to over 100 podcast episodes, here’s a quick and dirty process for you.

But First, for the Pantsers

There are two types of writers: the plotters and the pansters . Plotters like to outline. Pantsers think outlining crushes their creative freedom and hate it.

If you identify with the pantsers, that’s okay. Don’t worry too much about this step. I would still recommend writing something in this section of your memoir plan, even if you only know a few moments that will happen in the book, even recording a series of events might help as you plan.

And for you plotters, outline to your heart’s content, as long as you’ve already set your deadline!

Outlining Tips

When you’re ready to start outlining, here are a few tips:

• Begin by writing down all the big moments in your life that line up with your premise. Your premise is the foundation of your story. Anything outside of that premise should be cut.
• S eparate your life events into three acts. One of the most common story structures in writing is the three-act story structure. Act 1 should contain about 25 percent of your story, Act 2 about 50 percent of your story, and Act 3 about 25 percent.
• Act 1 should begin as late into the story as possible. In Crowdsourcing Paris , like most travel memoirs, I began the story the day I arrived in Paris.
• Use flashbacks, but carefully. Since I began Crowdsourcing Paris so late into the action, I used flashbacks to provide some details about what happened to lead up to the trip. Flashbacks can be overused, though, so only include full scenes and don’t info dump with flashbacks.
• Start big. The first scene in your book should be a good representation of what your book is about. So if you’re writing an adventure story (see Step 4), then you should have a life or death moment as the first scene. If you’re writing a love story, you should have a moment of love or love lost.
• End Act 1 with a decision. It is you, and specifically your decisions , that drive the action of your memoir. So what important decision did you make that will drive us into Act 2?
• Start Act 2 with your subplot. In Step 4, I said most books are made up of three stories. Your subplot is an important part of your book, and in most great stories, your subplot begins in Act 2.
• Act 2 begins with a period of “fun and games.” Save the Cat , one of my favorite books for writers, says that after the tension you built with the big decision in Act 1, the first few scenes in Act 2 should be fun and feel good, with things going relatively well for the protagonist.
• Center your second act on the “all is lost” moment. Great stories are about a character who comes to the end of him or herself. The all is lost moment is my favorite to write, because it’s where the character (in this case you ) has the most opportunity to grow. What is YOUR “all is lost” moment?
• Act 3 contains your final climactic moment. For Crowdsourcing Paris , this was the moment when I thought I was going to die. In a love story memoir, it might be when you finally work things out and commit to your partner.
• Act 3 is also where you show the big lesson of the memoir. Emphasis on show. Back in Step 1, you identified the lesson of your memoir. Act 3 is when you finally demonstrate what you’ve learned throughout the memoir in one major event.
• A tip for the final scene: end your memoir with the subplot. This gives a sense of completion to your story and works as a great final moment.

Use the tips above to create a rough outline of your memoir. Keep in mind, when you start writing, things might completely change. That’s okay! The point with your plan isn’t to be perfect. It’s to think through your story from beginning to end so that you’ll be prepared when you get to that point in the writing process.

Want to make this process as easy as possible? Get the memoir plan in a downloadable worksheet. Click to download your memoir plan »

That’s the end of the planning stage of this guide. Now let’s talk about how to write your first draft.

How to Write the First Draft of Your Memoir

If you’ve followed the steps above to create a memoir plan, you’ve done the important work. Writing a memoir, like writing any book, is hard. But it will actually be harder to not be successful if you’ve followed all the steps in the memoir plan.

But once you’ve created the “perfect” plan, it’s time to do the dirty work of writing a first draft.

In part two of our guide, you’ll learn how to write and finish a first draft.

1. Forget Perfection and Write Badly.

First drafts are messy. In fact, Anne Lamott calls them “shitty first drafts” because they are almost always terrible.

Even though I know that, though, any time I’m working on a new writing project, I still get it into my head that my first draft should be a masterpiece.

It usually takes me staring at a blank screen for a few hours before I admit defeat and just start writing.

If you’re reading this, don’t do that! Instead, start by writing badly.

Besides, when you’ve done the hard planning work, what you write will probably be a lot better than you think.

2. Willpower Doesn’t Work. Neither Does Inspiration. Instead, Use the “3 Minute Timer Trick.”

My biggest mistake when I began Crowdsourcing Paris was to think I had the willpower I needed as a professional writer and author of four books to finish the book on my own. Even worse, I thought I would be so inspired that the book would basically write itself.

I didn’t. It took not making much progress on my book for more than a year to realize I needed help.

The best thing you can do to help you focus on the writing process for your second draft is what we talked about in Step 4: Creating a Consequence.

But if you still need help, try my “3 Minute Timer Trick.” Here’s how it works:

• Set a timer for three minutes. Why three minutes? Because for me, I’m so distractible I can’t focus for more than three minutes. I think anyone can focus for three minutes though, even me.
• Write as fast as you can. Don’t think, just write!
• When the timer ends, write down your total word count in a separate document (see image below). Then subtract from the previous word count to calculate how many words you wrote during that session.
• Also write down any distractions during those three minutes. Did the phone ring? Did you have a tough urge to scroll through Facebook or play a game on your phone? Write it down.
• Then, repeat the process by starting the timer again. Can you beat your word count?

This process is surprisingly helpful, especially when you don’t feel like writing. After all, you might not have it in you to write for an hour, but anyone can write for three minutes.

And the amazing thing is that once you’ve started, you might find it much easier to keep going.

Other Tools for Writers

By the way, if you’re looking for the tools I use and other pro writers I know use, check out our Best Tools for Creative Writers guide here .

3. Make Your Weekly Deadlines.

You can’t finish your book in an all-nighter. That being said, you can finish a chapter of your book in an all-nighter.

That’s why it’s so important to have the weekly deadlines we talked about in Part 1, Step 2 of this guide.

By breaking up the writing process into a series of weekly deadlines, you give yourself an achievable framework to finish your book. And with the consequences you set in Step 3 of your memoir plan, you give your deadlines the teeth they need to hold you accountable.

And as I mentioned above, Scrivener is especially helpful for keeping track of deadlines (among other things). If you haven’t yet, check out my review of Scrivener here .

4. Keep Your Team Updated.

Having a hard time? It’s normal. Talk to your team about it.

It seems like when you’re writing a book, everything in the universe conspires against you. You get into a car accident, you get sick, you get into a massive fight with your spouse or family member, you get assigned a new project at your day job.

Writing a book would be hard enough on its own, but when you have the rest of your life to deal with, it can become almost impossible.

Without your team, which we talked about in Step 6 of your book plan, it would be.

For me, I would never have been able to finish one book, let alone the twelve that I’ve now finished, without the support, encouragement, and accountability of the other writers whom I call friends, the readers who believe in me, and most of all, my wife.

Remember: No book is finished alone. When things get hard, talk about it with your team.

And if you need a team, consider joining mine. The Write Practice Pro is a supportive encouraging community of writers and editors. It’s where I get feedback on my writing, and you can get it here too. Learn more about the community here.

5. Finally, Trust the Process.

When I walk writers through the first draft writing process, inevitably, around day sixty, they start to lose faith.

• They think their book is the all-time worst book ever written.
• They get a new idea they want to work on instead.
• They decide the dream to write a book and become a writer was foolish.
• They want to quit.

A few do quit at this point.

But the ones who keep going discover that in just a few weeks they’ve figured out most of the problems in their book, they’re on their last pages, and they’re almost finished.

It happens every time, even to me.

If you take nothing else from this post, please hear this: keep going. Never quit. If you follow this process from start to finish, you’re going to make it, and it’s going to be awesome.

I’m so excited for you.

How to Finish Your Memoir

More than half of this guide is about the planning process. That’s because if you start well, you’ll finish well.

If you create the right plan, then all that’s left is doing the hard, messy work of writing.

Without the right plan, it’s SO easy to get lost along the way.

That’s why I hope you’ll download my Memoir Plan Worksheet. Getting lost in the writing process is inevitable. This plan will become your map when it happens. Click to download the Memoir Plan Worksheet.

More than anything, though, I hope you’ll never quit. It took me five years to write Crowdsourcing Paris , but during that time I matured and grew so much as a writer and a person, all because I didn’t quit.

Even if it takes you five years, the life lessons you’ll learn as you write your book will be worth it.

And if you’re interested in a real-life adventure story set in Paris, I’d be honored if you’d read Crowdsourcing Paris . I think you’ll love it.

Good luck and happy writing.

More Writing Resources:

• How to Write a Memoir Outline: 7 Essential Steps For Your Memoir Outline
• 7 Steps to a Powerful Memoir
• The Memoir Project by Marion Roach Smith
• Crowdsourcing Paris by J.H. Bunting

Are you going to commit to writing a memoir (and never quitting, no matter what)? Let me know in the comments .

Summarize your memoir idea in the form of a one-sentence premise. Make sure it contains all three elements:

• A character
• A situation

Take fifteen minutes to craft your premise. When you’re finished, share your memoir premise in the Pro Practice Workshop for feedback. And if you share, please be sure to give feedback to three other writers. Not a member? Join us .

Joe Bunting

Joe Bunting is an author and the leader of The Write Practice community. He is also the author of the new book Crowdsourcing Paris , a real life adventure story set in France. It was a #1 New Release on Amazon. Follow him on Instagram (@jhbunting).

Want best-seller coaching? Book Joe here.

Work with Joe Bunting?

WSJ Bestselling author, founder of The Write Practice, and book coach with 14+ years experience. Joe Bunting specializes in working with Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Historical Fiction, How To, Literary Fiction, Memoir, Mystery, Nonfiction, Science Fiction, and Self Help books. Sound like a good fit for you?

One of my book chapters has been accepted for publication, but I lack confidence in the accuracy of what I have written. I have completed the chapter, but I would appreciate your assistance in improving its quality.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

• 3 Rules to Write World-Changing Memoir - The Write Practice - […] Here are my three “rules” about how to write a memoir: […]
• 4 Essentials for Writing Memoir That Resonates With Readers - The Write Practice - […] How do you write memoir and tell a story that is compelling to you, but might not be to…
• 19 Tips on Writing Memoir from The Memoir Project by Marion Roach Smith - The Write Practice - […] Marion Roach Smith has solid advice on how to write your own stories. Let me share nineteen tips on…
• The One Secret to a Deeper Memoir - The Write Practice - […] if you’re wondering how to write a memoir, what if you interviewed people–friends, family, community members–about the events on…
• How to Unlock the Power of the Present Tense in Memoir - The Write Practice - […] Writing memoir in the present tense suits grief in ways that the past tense simply cannot provide. […]
• Read Memoirs to Understand Character Motivation - […] about you? Do you want to know how to write a memoir? Check out our complete guide, Write a…
• How to Satisfy Your Reader With a Great Ending - The Write Practice - […] you’re figuring out how to write a memoir or a novel, creating an ending that is satisfying for the…
• How to Write About Your Family… Without Getting Disowned - […] this it true, through writing my own memoir, I have come to find that we can handle these situations…
• Write a Great Memoir: How to Start (and Actually Finish) Your First Draft – Books, Literature & Writing - […] “When you’re getting started writing a memoir, don’t just start writing about the first thing you remember.Tweet thisTweet […]
• 10 Memoir Writing Prompts to Get You Started - […] to take the next step and learn how to write a memoir? Check out my complete guide, Write a…
• How to Write a Short Memoir Story : The Write Practice - […] Then, when you’re ready to write a full memoir, check out our complete guide, Write a Great Memoir: How…

Submit a Comment Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Submit Comment

Join over 450,000 readers who are saying YES to practice. You’ll also get a free copy of our eBook 14 Prompts :

Popular Resources

Book Writing Tips & Guides Creativity & Inspiration Tips Writing Prompts Grammar & Vocab Resources Best Book Writing Software ProWritingAid Review Writing Teacher Resources Publisher Rocket Review Scrivener Review Gifts for Writers

Books By Our Writers

You've got it! Just us where to send your guide.

Enter your email to get our free 10-step guide to becoming a writer.

You've got it! Just us where to send your book.

Enter your first name and email to get our free book, 14 Prompts.

Want to Get Published?

Enter your email to get our free interactive checklist to writing and publishing a book.

101 Memoir Ideas For Your Next Memoir Project

Have you ever sat down to write your memoir and found yourself staring at a blank page, unable to summon the memories, emotions, or experiences that define your life? Fear no more!

I've curated an epic list of 101 memoir ideas to help you unleash your creative juices, spark your memory, and help you embark on a journey of self-discovery. From reliving your first crush to delving into your spiritual journey, these ideas are more than just writing prompts ; they're gateways into your soul.

Get ready to dive into the depths of your existence!

Memoir Ideas

1. Memoir Ideas for Beginners: Tips and tricks to jumpstart your memoir writing journey.

2. Life Story: Pen down your entire life, capturing every twist and turn.

3. A Family Affair: Write a family history, exploring the threads that bind generations.

4. Time Capsule: Write about a time that changed your perception forever.

5. The Spiritual Path: Detail a spiritual or religious experience that guided you to new heights.

6. High School Chronicles: Share your middle school and high school memories.

7. Brush with Death: Chronicle a life or death situation that taught you the fragility of existence.

8. Lessons Learned: Extract life lessons from your personal narrative.

9. Best Buddies: Share stories of your best friend and the adventures you've embarked on.

10. In Their Shoes: Write a personal memoir from the perspective of the most interesting person you know.

11. Great Memoir Inspirations: Analyze great memoirs and apply those techniques in your writing.

12. Seasons of Life: Describe your favorite season and how it parallels your own life journey.

13. Your Political Stance: Reflect on your political beliefs and how they've shaped your view of the world.

14. Creative Juices Flowing: Use creative writing prompts to unleash your imagination and write a fictional memoir.

15. Old Age Wisdom: Share insights from your adult life and the wisdom you've gained with age.

16. Behind the Wheel: Relive the memories of your first car and the freedom it represented.

17. Tales from the Classroom: Recall a memorable teacher and the impact they had on your life.

18. Heartfelt Loss: Document a major loss that altered the course of your life.

19. Powerful Memoir: Tips on writing a powerful memoir that resonates with readers.

20. Family Ties: Explore your parents' relationship and how it influenced your own approach to love.

21. First Loves: From first crush to first kiss, write about the excitement and innocence of young love.

22. Gift of Life: Share the story of the best gift you've ever received and the joy it brought.

23. Life's Changing Seasons: Chronicle a significant life change and how you navigated through it.

24. A Job Well Done: Reflect on your first job, the challenges you faced, and the skills you acquired.

25. Literary Love: Write about your favorite book, such as Frank McCourt's "Angela's Ashes," and how it inspired you.

26. The Author's Journey: Dive into an author's life, perhaps your own, and the true story behind the words.

27. Nostalgic Toys: Revisit your childhood by describing a childhood toy that still holds a special place in your heart.

28. Historical Memoir: Capture a historical event from a personal perspective, weaving facts with emotions.

29. A Finished Symphony: Share the satisfaction of finishing a major project, like a finished book or art piece.

30. The Day Everything Changed: Write about the worst day of your life and how you overcame it.

31. The Art of Memoir Writing: Explore different memoir writing prompts to guide budding writers.

32. A Caged Bird's Song: Interpret the metaphor of a caged bird and relate it to a personal experience.

33. Unforgettable Moments: Detail the most memorable thing from different stages of your life.

34. Living Through Others: Write a memoir reflecting the impact of friends and family members on your life.

35. A Moveable Feast of Ideas: Gather and write memoir topics that cater to various tastes and interests.

36. Story of My Life: Combine various writing prompts to create a seamless narrative of your life.

37. Reader's Choice: Engage your readers by writing a chapter based on their experiences.

38. An Homage to Teachers: Write dedicated pieces about your favorite teachers throughout your schooling years.

39. Your Story, Your Voice: Focus on writing a memoir with your unique first-person voice.

40. On a Spiritual Journey: Traverse the paths of spirituality and document your inner evolution.

41. Jobs and Careers: Chronicle different job experiences and what each taught you about life and yourself.

42. Death and Beyond: Explore the theme of death and how it has touched your life or philosophical beliefs.

43. Memoirs of a Place: Write about a place that has made a profound impact on your life.

44. Tales of Friendship: Compile stories about friends and the influence they've had on your life journey.

45. Most Important Lesson: Pinpoint the most important thing you've learned and how it guides you.

46. Footsteps of the Greats: Study great memoir writers and translate their techniques into your own work.

47. Writing and Life: Discuss how writing mirrors life and the creative juices that flow between the two.

48. Memoirs with a Twist: Add unexpected twists to ordinary life situations and craft an exciting memoir.

49. The Art of Living: Reflect on life, from birth to old age, capturing every phase with nuance.

50. Earliest Memories: Write about your earliest memory and how it resonates with you today.

51. A Creative Burst: Unleash your creative writing with engaging memoir writing prompts, capturing dreams and fantasies.

52. Love and Loss: Explore the dualities of love and loss, their interconnection, and how they've shaped your adult life.

53. Seasonal Changes: Write about life changes as mirrored in the shifting seasons, from spring's hope to winter's reflection.

54. Life's Little Lessons: Pen down daily life lessons from mundane activities, showing wisdom in simplicity.

55. The Spiritual Explorer: Trace your spiritual journey, from skepticism to enlightenment, and the insights gathered.

56. Historical Connections: Relate your family history to a historical event, weaving personal narratives with world history.

57. Teacher's Pet: Reflect on your favorite teacher's influence, not only in academics but also in shaping your character .

58. Memoirs of a Traveler: Share travel stories and how they've broadened your horizons and understanding of cultures.

59. Memoir in a Day: Challenge yourself to write a memoir about a single day, finding depth in ordinary moments.

60. Best Memoirs Analysis: Study the best memoirs, identify what makes them resonate, and apply these insights to your writing.

61. The Song of a Caged Bird: Interpret Maya Angelou's 'I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings' and relate it to personal experiences.

62. A Friend's Impact: Share stories about friends and how they have added color, joy, and learning to your life.

63. Turning Points: Identify major turning points in your life and explore them in detail, showing their profound impact.

64. Childhood Revisited: Write about your most cherished childhood toy, memories, and how they shaped your personality.

65. Memoirs of a Foodie: Share culinary experiences, family recipes, and how food has been a bonding factor in your family.

66. The First Experience: From your first job to your first crush, narrate what made these 'firsts' unforgettable.

67. A Powerful Tale: Craft a powerful memoir that reaches into the soul using poignant storytelling techniques.

68. Seasonal Favorites: Detail why a particular season is your favorite and how it reflects aspects of your personality.

69. Parental Guidance: Explore your parents' relationship with you and each other, uncovering wisdom and warmth.

70. Religious Revelations: Document a religious experience that has left a deep impression on you.

71. Gift of a Lifetime: Describe the best gift you've ever received, not just materially but emotionally as well.

72. Memoir Mashup: Combine different writing styles and topics to create a multi-layered, intriguing memoir.

73. Great Ideas, Great Memoirs: Analyze what makes a great memoir and provide a guide for aspiring memoir writers.

74. Job Chronicles: Document your job experiences, the people you've met, and what each role taught you.

75. Worst and Best Days: Chronicle both the worst and best days of your life, exploring contrasts and growth.

76. A Frank Perspective: Write a personal account inspired by authors like Frank McCourt, capturing raw honesty.

77. Memoirs with a Twist: Add unexpected twists to your life story, turning the ordinary into extraordinary.

78. Tips for the Soul: Offer a few tips and guidance for memoir writers, weaving your personal experiences and lessons.

79. Reading Others' Lives: Reflect on how reading others' memoirs has influenced your understanding of people and life.

80. Death's Doorstep: Explore encounters with death, either personal or philosophical, and what they've taught you.

81. Memoir in Poetry: Experiment with poetic forms in memoir writing, allowing the rhythm to tell your story.

82. Friendship Chronicles: Chronicle friendships throughout your life, from childhood playmates to adult confidantes.

83. A Moveable Feast of Life: Explore various stages of life, using Hemingway's 'A Moveable Feast' as inspiration.

84. The Writer's Toolkit: Write about the tools, physical and mental, that you use in your writing process.

85. Memoirs of a City: Personalize a city or place that you've lived in, making it a character in your memoir.

86. An Important Lesson: Reflect on the most important thing you've learned, narrating how it came to you.

87. A Story within a Story: Create a nested narrative where each chapter uncovers a different aspect of life.

88. Write It Down: Share writing techniques and prompts that have helped shape your memoir writing skills.

89. Old Age, New Perspectives: Explore old age through various lenses, including your own observations or experiences.

90. A Symphony of Lives: Write about the people who have influenced you, weaving them into a unified narrative.

91. The Bird's Freedom: Extend the metaphor of a caged bird into a tale of liberation, growth, and self-discovery.

92. Memorable Experiences: Compile all the memorable things in your life, from tastes to places, into an engaging read.

93. A Reader's Memoir: Reflect on how readers' feedback has influenced your writing journey and personal growth.

94. Author's Insights: Delve into an author's life (perhaps your own) and the true stories that shaped their writing.

95. Celebrating Love: Write about romantic love, familial love, and friendships, celebrating love's many facets.

96. An Educational Journey: Reflect on your high school and college years, the lessons learned, and the friends made.

97. Memoirs of the Heart: Explore emotions and feelings, turning them into tangible narratives.

98. The Power of Now: Write about living in the present moment and how mindfulness has shaped your life.

99. A Tribute to Family: Create a heartfelt tribute to your family members, sharing stories and lessons learned.

100. Writing to Heal: Explore how memoir writing can be a therapeutic process, aiding in personal growth and healing.

101. A Life's Odyssey: Conclude with a sweeping tale of your life's journey, encapsulating all that you've learned, loved, lost, and celebrated.

Embarking on a memoir is not just about telling your story; it's about understanding yourself, connecting with others, and contributing to the tapestry of human experience.

With these 101 memoir ideas, you hold the key to a long list of inspiration, creativity, and reflection.

Now all that's left is to grab your pen, open your heart, and let your life unfold on the page. The world is waiting to hear your story.

Happy writing!

Frequently Asked Questions About Memoir Ideas (FAQs)

What are memoir ideas, and how can i find inspiration for my own.

Memoir ideas can spring from anything and everything around you: your own life, your family history, or even your most memorable thing.

Reflect on different stages like childhood, high school, adult life, and old age. Listen to a caged bird sing, explore the favorite season, or dive into spiritual journeys. Your life story is waiting to be told!

Can you suggest some memoir writing prompts for beginners?

Certainly! Start with writing prompts like "Describe your first car" or "Write about a time when you experienced a major loss."

You can explore themes like the impact of your favorite teacher or delve into your parents' relationship. Get those creative juices flowing, and soon you'll have a powerful memoir!

How do I write about a life-or-death situation or other intense experiences in memoir writing?

Writing about intense topics such as a life or death situation requires emotional honesty and deep reflection.

Consider your feelings, your reactions, and the life lessons you took away. Your personal narrative should be raw and genuine, capturing the essence of that powerful moment.

How to write a great memoir that resonates with readers?

Great memoirs connect with readers through shared experiences and emotions. Whether writing about an interesting person, political beliefs, or your spiritual journey, focus on honesty, insight, and a compelling story. From your earliest memory to your first kiss, share the moments that shaped you.

What are some tips to get the creative juices flowing in memoir writing?

A few tips include exploring different memoir topics, experimenting with creative writing techniques, and seeking inspiration from the best memoirs and authors like Frank McCourt. Let the essence of life guide your words.

Can I write about family members and friends without offending anyone?

Writing about family and friends can be delicate. Focus on your own feelings and experiences rather than making absolute statements about a person.

Consider sharing your draft with those involved to ensure that the story is both true and respectful.

How can I include historical events and cultural context in my memoir?

To include historical events, research the time period, and integrate the facts with your personal account.

Whether it's your family's immigration story or living through a significant political era, your memoir can become a moveable feast of history and personal reflection.

How do I finish my memoir and know when it's a finished book?

A memoir is finished when your story has been told in its entirety, capturing the essence of your life and the messages you want to share.

Review it with friends, family, or professional editors to ensure it's polished and complete.

How do I write about religious experiences without alienating readers with different beliefs?

Approach religious experiences with openness, describing your personal feelings and insights without preaching.

Acknowledge that others might have different views, and focus on the universal lessons or emotions that everyone can relate to.

Can memoirs include fictional elements?

Memoirs should be rooted in truth, reflecting your authentic experiences. However, some writers use creative license in describing settings or emotions. The key is maintaining the integrity of the true story while enhancing readability.

What if I want to write about my job or career?

Careers are rich sources for memoirs. Whether you're reflecting on your first job or chronicling your entire professional journey, your career story can provide insights into industries, roles, successes, and failures. Share the lessons learned and the memorable people met along the way.

I help filmmakers sell their ideas, get more clients, and make more money.

101 Creative Mockumentary Ideas For Your Next Film Project

101 irresistible satire story ideas to inspire your next project.

Kindlepreneur

Book Marketing for Self-Publishing Authors

Home / Book Writing / Topics for Memoirs: 50+ Ideas and Prompts to Get You Started

Topics for Memoirs: 50+ Ideas and Prompts to Get You Started

The memoir is a popular type of nonfiction writing that's often associated with celebrities, business leaders, and politicians. However, you don't need to be any of the above to write a good memoir.

Most people develop, over the course of their life, interesting experiences, expertise, or hardships that could interest others. But how do you know you have a good idea for a memoir? Better yet, how can you come up with a good memoir idea ?

Well, read on to find out as we discuss topics for memoirs. 

• What sets memoirs apart from other nonfiction.
• Tips for writing a compelling memoir. 
• Memoir writing prompts. 

Table of contents

• What is a Memoir?
• Open With a Hook
• Structure it Like a Novel
• Read Many Memoirs
• Inspirational Memoir Ideas
• Confessional Memoir Ideas
• Comedic Memoir Ideas
• Nostalgia Memoir Ideas
• Travel Memoir Ideas
• Other Memoir Writing Prompts
• Position Your Memoir for Success

Before we go any further, let's get on the same page. A memoir is an exploration of a certain topic or subject with which the author has experience. This sets the memoir apart from the autobiography , which is typically a look at the author's entire life (or at least the interesting parts). A memoir, on the other hand, only explores certain aspects of the author's life that have to do with the topic or theme at hand. 

Memoirs also read like fiction books. There's a cast of characters, and the protagonist is almost always the author. They have a similar tone and style to fiction books, as well, which is one reason people read them. In fact, some memoirs have been known to skirt the line between truth and fiction ( A Million Little Pieces , anyone?). 

That said, you should strive for truth in your memoir. But you'll also probably leave some stuff out by necessity. In other words, you don't need to tell all about the boring stuff. 

How to Write a Good Memoir

Memoir writing doesn't have to be hard. In fact, some writers may find it easier than writing a story about fictional characters. After all, the memoir will be about your own life and experiences. Here are a few tips to help you get started. 

Grabbing the reader from the beginning is essential for any memoir (or novel, for that matter). There are a number of ways to do this, and the type of story you plan to write will often dictate how it’s done. You can start with humor, action, conflict, or strong emotions. Don’t be afraid to combine more than one of these factors. 

But no matter how you start the book, you’ll want to ensure you write from the heart and stick to the truth as you remember it. If you write with emotion and keep it compelling, the reader will be happy to go on the journey with you for the rest of the memoir. 

Thinking of the structure of your memoir as that of a novel is a great way to craft a compelling narrative. Try your best to have the reader identify with you early on, while also setting up the central conflict of the story. 

Each scene should advance the story, add character development or depth, or support the overarching theme of your memoir. All the better if a scene does more than one of these things!

As is the case with writing any other type of book, you'll want to be very familiar with other people's memoirs. You can't expect to know what readers expect from a good memoir if you don't read them yourself. Luckily, there are a ton of different memoir subgenres you can dive into. Some are funny, some are heart-wrenching, and some are informative. Here are some suggestions for excellent memoirs to check out. 

Augusten Burroughs has written several successful memoirs. The most notable of these is Running With Scissors , which was even made into a movie. But he has written other memoirs, including Dry and A Wolf at the Table . 

David Sedaris is another well-known writer in the memoir genre. Unlike Burroughs, Sedaris typically releases books that comprise a collection of essays on a certain topic. The personal essays in his books are memoirs of a kind. 

Alison Bechdel is a cartoonist who has written what is known as graphic memoirs. Similar to a graphic novel, her book Fun Home is a memoir in illustrated form. 

Some other memoirs you may have heard of include:

• Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt
• Becoming by Michelle Obama
• The Liars' Club by Mary Karr
• Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
• I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
• The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
• Educated by Tara Westover
• A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway

For more practical advice, check out the essay How to Write a Memoir by famed nonfiction writer William Zinsser. 

Memoir Writing Prompts

Now that we've covered some broad-strokes writing tips for memoirs, let's dive into some memoir ideas. I've split the following prompts into some overarching memoir categories, but this is not to say that you need to keep any given idea in that category. You can take any prompt that strikes your fancy and apply a different theme to it. 

By definition, your memoir will be very personal. It will be uniquely yours, but if done well, it will also give other people entertainment, insight, and value. After all, a memoir is just a long personal essay. Keep this in mind as you read the following ideas. 

Formatting Has Never Been Easier

Write and format professional books with ease.  Never before has creating formatted books been easier.

If you have stories that can touch and inspire, then this may be the theme for you. Overcoming challenges makes for great reading. 

1. Think of the hardest thing you've ever had to do in your life. How did you overcome the challenge? Did you do it by yourself or with the help of friends, family members, a spouse, your kids, etc.?

2. Have you ever had a profound religious or spiritual experience? If so, what prompted it?

3. Have you ever had to deal with a life-or-death situation? Did you keep your cool when others were panicking? What did you learn and how did your life change after the situation was over and you had time to reflect?

4. If you were able to go back in time and talk to your younger self, what would you say? 

5. What is the single most important life experience you've had? Why?

6. Write about the one thing that makes you different from everyone else. How has this difference affected your life, and where would you be if you weren't different?

7. Love is something everyone can relate to. Describe meeting your partner or your trials and tribulations in the world of finding and losing love. 

8. Have you lived through any specific historical event? If so, how did it change your life or affect your view of the world and the human race?

9. Have you devoted your life to a specific field of expertise? With all your knowledge of your specific industry, start a personal narrative that explores how your expertise has influenced your life. 

10. Recount the greatest adventure of your entire life in detail. Why was it so great, and how did it change the course of your life?

Confessional memoirs intrigue readers because the authors share their dirty little secrets. However, most of the time, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. 

11. If you've ever dealt with addiction of any kind, a personal memoir could help other people who are dealing with something similar. 

12. Most industries have a dark underside that doesn't often make the news. If you've been in a position to see this underside, it could make for a good memoir.

13. If you've done something interesting — like working with the homeless or at-risk teens — then your experiences could make for a good confessional memoir. Of course, you'd need to get permission to write about specific people first. 

14. People who have lived a life of crime are in a unique position to write a compelling memoir. True crime is a popular concept across all media, and a true crime memoir could certainly do well. (Of course, I'm not suggesting you commit any crimes just so you can write about them.) 

15. Is there something you've had to deal with, such as a mental or physical illness? Writing about it could be a way to help others with their own struggles. 

16. Traumatic encounters can also make for impactful memoirs. Of course, writing about any kind of trauma can be difficult, but if you feel up to it, you may consider this kind of memoir. 

17. Growing up is hard. If you had a particularly tough or unique time while shedding your childhood and donning adulthood, it could be of interest to future generations. 

18. People are often interested in those who have different experiences from them. Whether you're an African American growing up in the United States or a disabled person navigating through life, try to pinpoint what makes you unique and discuss how it has impacted your life. 

19. Confessional memoirs don't need to be as dramatic as crime or trauma. They can be as simple as mistakes you've learned from. Consider writing about a time when you made a mistake or did something that you are not proud of. Reflect on what led up to the event, how it affected those around you, and how you learned from it.

20. Like mistakes, secrets and your reasons for keeping them can also make for a good memoir topic. Write about a secret that you have kept for a long time. Consider the reasons why you felt the need to keep it hidden. How has it affected your life, and what have you learned from the experience of keeping it hidden?

While confessional memoirs are often serious reads in which the author bares their soul, comedic memoirs often deal with similar issues but with a very different tone. Readers seek these out to laugh and revel in the lives of others.

21. Were you a class clown in middle school, high school, or college? Did you get up to silly hijinks that landed you in the principal's office? If so, a humorous tell-all could be the creative writing project of your dreams. 

22. Everyone's family is pretty strange. But some are certainly stranger than others. If you can look back on your formative years and laugh, you might just have the right attitude for a comedic memoir. 

23. Some of the best memoirs are about family members. Maybe you had a brother or a sister who was zany or simply uniquely funny in their own quiet way. Writing a memoir about how your close family member kept the dark times light and the light times infused with laughter is a fun undertaking. 

24. Sometimes it takes a while to “grow up” and start adulting. And there are certainly potholes along the way. If you have some cringe-worthy stories from living, loving, and learning, then your embarrassment could mean hours of entertainment for your readers. 

25. Trying and failing at something can provide some of the best life lessons of all. Maybe you went to LA to become an actor, or you tried your hand at sports with hilarious results. By making light of your failures, you can help people not take their own so seriously. 

26. Kids say the darndest things. No, I'm not talking about the show, but it's a good example of the kind of memoir you could write if you have raised or been around kids in any capacity. Not only are they funny, but they can teach us how to retain some magic in our own lives. 

27. Humor is certainly a coping mechanism. And while there's a fine line between poking fun and making fun, there's some room in the comedic memoir genre for discussing things like your relationship to food, entertainment, and even exercise. These are the things of life, and with a little creative writing, they can make for fun reading. 

28. Do you work in an industry dominated by the opposite sex? Or in an elite industry where only a few “make it”? Exploring anecdotes from your unique point of view can make for awkward, embarrassing, and funny writing. 

29. Everyone has experienced some hard times in their life, but not everyone can see those things in a positive light. Using humor, write about the hardest moments you've lived through, giving them a comedic twist from your perspective today. 

30. Was there ever a time in your life when a kind word or a silly joke brought you out of a dark place? Write about the power of kindness and laughter in your life. 

Nostalgia memoirs are attractive to readers because they often remind them of their own childhood or experiences. Other readers may pick them up to see what the world was like in a certain time and place. 

31. Growing up in small-town America — with white picket fences and a mailman who stops to chat — is a rarity these days. If you had this kind of upbringing, your experiences could transport readers back in time for an entertaining and inspiring journey. 

32. We relate to the world through stories. And the ones we enjoyed as children often hold a special place in our hearts. If you can relate movies, shows, or books you enjoyed growing up to the person you've become today, it could make for a great memoir. 

33. Music is the soundtrack to our lives. And a memoir that ties popular and classic songs to important events in your life has the potential to be a bestseller!

34. Did you attend Woodstock? Were you there for the Million Man March? Events like these — even those as recent as 1995 — can make for great memoirs. Life was different then, and much has changed. But our love for a good story hasn't. 

35. Write about a significant event or period of your life, and reflect on how your perspective and feelings about it have changed over time. What do you miss most about that time, and what do you appreciate about your current stage of life?

People like traveling almost as much as they like stories. And these kinds of memoirs combine both. It's a way for readers to experience other parts of the world vicariously through the author's eyes. 

36. A year-long trek across Europe. Riding a bike across America in a year. Living in hostels for a year. If you've ever done anything like this, get to writing!

37. Have you ever been injured or stranded in a foreign country? If so, you could write a thrilling memoir that details your experiences, the people you met, and how you managed to get back home. 

38. Snow storms, flash floods, or broken limbs. A lot can go wrong out in the wilderness. If you've ever had a close call or a harrowing experience like this, a piece of narrative writing detailing it could be in order. 

39. You can learn a lot about the world and about people by traveling. Experiences, both good and bad, can be interesting to the average memoir reader. And any life lessons you've learned along the way will certainly add depth to your memoir. 

40. If you've ever been to Antarctica or the Sahara, Everest or Kilimanjaro, your experiences could make for great reading!

Many published memoirs are a collection of essays that are all related by theme. So these are the nonfiction equivalent of short story collections. Don't feel like you need to write one long story for your memoir. You can write several stories on different topics and then publish them as a collection. The following writing prompts can help you do just that. 

41. Write about an epic journey you took. 

42. Write about the time you realized what was really important in life. 

43. Explore the topic of love — both platonic and romantic — and how it has influenced your life. 

44. What is the one life lesson you wish you had learned earlier? Why?

45. Write about the person who has had the greatest impact on your life. 

46. Explore discipline and how your life would be without it. 

47. Talk about big changes in life — from childhood to adulthood or middle age to old age — and impart lessons to those who will be going through the same thing. 

48. If you've ever been through a divorce, explore its impact on your life. 

49. Talk about your hobby and how it has had a positive (or negative) effect on your life. 

50. Explore ways you've tried to help others during your life. 

When you have your memoir written and ready to publish, you’ll need to think about positioning it for success on the biggest online bookseller out there: Amazon. And the easiest way to do this is with Publisher Rocket .

You can think of the information you get from Publisher Rocket as the foundation for your writing career . You get insights directly from Amazon on:

• Keywords – Metadata to position your memoir on Amazon.
• Competition – Allowing you to see what other memoirs are selling well and how stiff the competition is.
• Categories – Allowing you to position your memoir in the right categories and subcategories to increase your chances of success.
• Amazon Ads – Helping you quickly configure a list of profitable keywords for running ads to your published memoir.

I hope these memoir writing prompts help get your creativity flowing. Don’t forget to check out Publisher Rocket here to use data to sell your finished book!

Increase Your Book Marketing

See the Publisher Rocket effect, when you use the right keywords and categories to help get your book seen more on Amazon.

Dave Chesson

When I’m not sipping tea with princesses or lightsaber dueling with little Jedi, I’m a book marketing nut. Having consulted multiple publishing companies and NYT best-selling authors, I created Kindlepreneur to help authors sell more books. I’ve even been called “The Kindlepreneur” by Amazon publicly, and I’m here to help you with your author journey.

Related Posts

Author vs writer: what’s the difference, how to write an adventure story, parts of a book [from cover to cover], sell more books on amazon, amazon kindle rankings e-book.

Learn how to rank your Kindle book #1 on Amazon with our collection of time-tested tips and tricks.

Join the community

Join 111,585 other authors who receive weekly emails from us to help them make more money selling books.

COACHING + PUBLISHING

FORMATTING + DESIGN

FREELANCE COMMUNITY

How to Write a Memoir: 7 Ways to Tell a Powerful Story

by Brooke Warner | Sep 4, 2023

Whether you curl up with memoirs on a frequent basis or pick one up every now and again, you know powerful memoirs have the capacity to take readers for an exhilarating ride.

While all memoirs are different, the best ones have certain elements in common. Knowing what makes a memoir compelling and riveting is key when sitting down to craft your own.

When I teach people how to write a memoir, we talk about how to tell a compelling story.

Table of contents.

In this article, we’ll review some common memoir elements so you can weave them into your own work. Before we start, let’s define memoir.

What is Memoir?

Memoir is not an autobiography. In other words, it is not the story of your whole life. Memoir is a slice of life, a story of part of your life or a story from your life.

The scope of memoir will vary depending on the subject matter, but more often than not, aspiring memoirists come to the page with too much story that needs to be pared down . One way to do that is to get clear about your themes. Memoir is often reined in by the writer knowing what her themes are and writing each scene while holding two questions in mind:

• How does this scene relate to my theme?
• What sense am I trying to make of my story through writing this scene?

Memoir is about creating understanding, making sense of your story so that others can relate. Memoir is not “what happened,” because unless you’re famous, what happened to you in your life is not what will draw readers to the page. What draws readers is the subject matter (surviving a trauma, trying to live by the tenets of self-help books, living in prison) or the theme (addiction, parent-child relationships, repeating family patterns, identity). 

A memoir that lacks an author’s effort to extract meaning from their story is usually a slow read. A reader may find themselves wondering what’s the point? If there’s nothing in the story for the reader, the memoir is lacking reflection and takeaway, which are two key elements that are unique to memoir.  

The Write Life has teamed up with Self-Publishing School to create a training called, Writing and Publishing Your Life Story. In it, you’ll learn the three core elements of memorable memoirs. Click here to sign up for this free workshop .

How to Write a Memoir

If you’re planning to write a memoir, your goal should be to take your readers on a journey they won’t forget. Here are seven tips for how to write a memoir.

1. Narrow Your Focus

Your memoir should be written as if the entire book is a snapshot of a theme or two from your lived experience. Consider a pie, where your life represents the whole pie, and you are writing a book about a teeny-tiny sliver.

Since your memoir is not an autobiography, you can figure out your themes by making a timeline of your life. In the classes I teach, we call these “turning points” and it’s a valuable exercise to discover where the juice is, to sort out where to focus and where you might have the most to extract from your story. You want your readers to walk away knowing you, and a particular experience you lived through, on a much deeper level, but also to apply their own understanding of their own experiences to your story.

Perhaps you are familiar with Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt. This memoir focuses on Frank’s life as a child growing up in Ireland. Angela is his mother, and much of the storyline focuses on the mother-son relationship, and how Frank saw her, as well as the role of outside forces like alcoholism, loss, and trauma on their entire family.

2. Include More than Just Your Story

Even as you narrow your focus, we also need to think bigger in our writing pursuits.

For example, if Kamala Harris wrote a memoir about being a wife and stepmother while pursuing her career, she would pull in tidbits about how she juggled these roles when she had such a big job and big ambitions. She would let us into the intimate moments, including fights she might have had with her husband over the impossible kind of balance women in power who also have families face.  

Likewise, if Madonna was writing a memoir about reinventing herself after 20 years away from the public spotlight, she most likely would include what it felt like to return to the music scene and how she continued to travel and perform while raising her children.

How does this apply to you? Imagine you are writing a memoir about your three-week trek through the Himalayan Mountains. While the focus would be on your trip, as well as what you learned about yourself along the way, you would be wise to also include other details about the place, the people your experience, and what you learned not only about yourself, but about human nature and the wider world.

You could describe the geography and history of the area, share interesting snippets about the people and animals you interacted with, and discuss your exploration of the meaning of it all as you progressed along your arduous journey.

Your readers want to know about you , but also about what got you to this place to begin with. What prompted the trek? What is your backstory? What did you learn about yourself along the way? It’s these kinds of vivid details and astute observations that make for a powerful memoir.

3. Tell the Truth

One of the best tips for how to write a powerful memoir is to be honest and genuine. This is often tricky because we don’t want to hurt or upset the people (our family and friends!) we’ve written into our books. But it’s important that you mine for the truth of your story—even if it makes your journey as an author more difficult.

When Shannon Hernandez wrote her memoir , Breaking the Silence: My Final Forty Days as a Public School Teacher , she knew she had a major dilemma: “If I opted to tell the whole truth, I would pretty much ensure I would never get a job with New York City Public Schools again.”

But she also knew teachers, parents and administrators needed to hear why great teachers are leaving education in droves and why the current educational system is not doing what’s best for our nation’s kids.

“I wrote my book with brutal honesty and it has paid off with my readers. It’s bringing national attention to what is happening behind closed school doors.” Shannon Hernandez

One more note on honesty: Memoirs explore the concept of truth as seen through your eyes . Never write in a snarky manner or with a bitter tone. The motivation for writing a memoir shouldn’t be to exact revenge, whine, or seek forgiveness; it should simply be to share an experience that readers can relate to.

Don’t exaggerate or bend the truth in your memoir. If you find you can’t remember, that’s alright. You can write composite scenes. You can lean into what “would have been true,” insofar as the details—your mother would have worn a particular style of dress, your best friend would have been chewing her favorite gum, your brother would have yelled something like the insult you decide to write.

You don’t need to fabricate or embellish, but you also didn’t live your life with a tape recorder strapped to your belt, so memoir is all about recreating what happened while honoring the emotional truth of your story.

4. Put Your Readers in Your Shoes

Powerful writers show, not tell . And for a memoir writer, this is essential to your success, because you must invite your reader into your perspective so she can draw her own conclusions.

The best way to do this is to unfold the story before your reader’s eyes by using vivid language that helps your reader visualize each scene . Mary Karr, author of three memoirs and the book, The Art of Memoir , writes that you must zip the reader into your skin. Another way to think of it is to imagine you’re carrying an old-school camcorder on your shoulder as you guide your reader through the scenes of your life. You want to place your reader right there next to you, or better yet, inside of your experiences. 

Perhaps you want to explain that your aunt was a “raging alcoholic.” If you say this directly, your description will likely come across as judgmental and critical.

Instead, paint a picture for your audience so they come to this conclusion on their own. You might write something like this:

“Vodka bottles littered her bedroom, and I had learned the hard way not to knock on her door until well after noon. Most days she didn’t emerge into our living quarters until closer to sunset, and I would read her facial expression to gauge whether or not I should inquire about money—just so I could eat one meal before bedtime.”

FREE RESOURCE

Nonfiction Outline Template

Ready to write? Get the parts of your story RIGHT and finish your book FASTER with this pre-formatted, easy to use, fill-in-the-black template!

5. Employ Elements of Fiction to Bring Your Story to Life

Think of the people in memoirs as characters. A great memoir pulls you into their lives: what they struggle with, what they are successful at, and what they wonder about.

Many of the best memoir writers focus on a few key characteristics of their characters , allowing the reader to get to know each one in depth. Your readers must be able to feel emotions about your characters—love or hate or something in between.  

To bring your characters alive, bring details like the characters’ tone of voice, how they talk, their body language and movements, and their style of speech. Read other memoirs to get a sense of how writers introduce place and setting into their stories through their characters—their accents, their behaviors, their shared values.  

While your memoir is a true story, employing elements of fiction can make it far more powerful and enjoyable for your readers, and one point of craft is learning how to create strong characters your readers will feel like they know.

6. Create an Emotional Journey

Don’t aim to knock your readers’ socks off. Knock off their pants, shirt, shoes, and underwear too! Leave your readers with their mouths open in awe, or laughing hysterically, or crying tears of sympathy and sadness—or all three.

Take them on an emotional journey that motivates them to read the next chapter, wonder about you well after they finish the last page, and tell their friends and colleagues about your book. The best way to evoke these feelings in your readers is to connect your emotions, as the protagonist, with pivotal reflections and takeaways about the happening throughout your narrative arc.

Most of us are familiar with the narrative arc . In school, our teachers used to draw a “mountain” and once we reached the precipice, we were to fill in the climatic point of the book or story. Your memoir is no different: You need to create enough tension to shape your overall story, as well as each individual chapter, with that narrative arc.

In Children of the Land by Marcelo Hernandez Garcia, we witness a boy growing up undocumented in the United States, the child of parents who crossed him over the US-Mexico border when he was just five years old. You’ll never find Marcelo telling us he was sad, angry, or devastated. 

Instead, he writes of his disappointment after his mother didn’t get her green card:

“It’s okay, mijo, we tried,” Ama said to me as I drove her to church one day. “Yeah, Amá, we tried, I said, hoping that between each of our admissions, at least one of us would actually believe it was worth it. Marcelo Hernandez Garcia

Or of his fear when ICE raids his childhood home: 

We stood there, frozen, unsure of what to do. The inner urge to flee was replaced with paralyzed submission—we were cemented in place. In that moment, if anyone wished to do so, they could have walked through the door, commanded us to cut ourselves open, and we would have probably listened.  Macelo Hernandez Garcia

7. Showcase Your Personal Growth

By the end of your memoir, you need to have shown growth or change or transformation of yourself, the protagonist of your story.  

Whatever experiences you had throughout your book will carry more weight when you show how they affected you along your journey, and how you grew and changed as a result of what you lived through, or what you survived. How did what you went through change your approach to life? Change how you thought about others or yourself? Help you become a better or wiser person in some way?

This is often the hardest part of writing a memoir because it requires introspection—sometimes in the form of hindsight, certainly in the form of self-reflection. It requires you sometimes to write with an understanding that your character might not have known then —at the age you were. This is why it’s so important to learn how to weave in reflections that don’t break the fictive dream.

You don’t want to constantly interrupt your narrative with asides, like:

• “Now I understand… ”
• “I still wish my mother had treated me better … ”

Instead, allow for the reflection to exist almost as if it’s an omniscient knowing, because in many ways it is. No one knows your story better than you—and you’re allowed, throughout your story—to extract meaning and apply understanding. Not only are you allowed, the genre demands it.  

If you make meaning from your story, your readers will find meaning in your story too.

Memoir Examples as Inspiration

Let’s look at a few memoir examples .

We broke these into three categories of memoirs, those that can help us learn about structure, theme and takeaway. Each of these are essential elements of the genre.

Examples of Memoirs that Use an Effective Structure

Although you’ll hear from memoirists who didn’t use an outline, or who prefer a process over a structured experience, most memoirists can benefit from having a structure in place before they start writing.

The most straightforward memoirs are those that start at point A and end at point B, moving the reader along in linear time.

Some examples include coming-of-age memoirs, like Kiese Laymon’s Heavy or Daisy Hernandez’s A Cup of Water Under My Bed , or memoirs that are narrowly focused, like Lori Gottleib’s Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, or Jennifer Pastiloff’s On Being Human .

Then there are framed memoirs, like Dani Shapiro’s Inheritance which chronicles the A to B linear journey of finding out that the father who raised her was not her biological father, making use of flashback and memory to piece together the front story of what’s happening as she figures out the truth of who she really is. Wild by Cheryl Strayed, is another famous framed memoir, because the A to B story is her trek along the Pacific Crest Trail, but the use of flashback and memory has her constantly leaving the front story and entering into the backstory to give context for why she’s on this journey in the first place. 

There are also thematic memoirs, like Terese Marie Mailhot’s Heart Berries , which focuses on themes of identity and trauma and its impact on her and her family, but reaches more broadly into the experience of being Native American. 

Examples of Thematic Memoirs

Thematic memoirs abound typically sell better than other memoirs because they’re what the industry calls “high-concept,” meaning that they’re easy for buyers and readers to wrap their minds around.

Countless categories of memoir point to big-picture themes: addiction and recovery ; parenting ; travel ; cooking; coming-of-age; dysfunctional family; religious experience; death and dying ; divorce; and more.

Your theme (or sometimes themes) infuses every chapter you write, and it/they can be quite nuanced. For instance, a theme might be healing through running.

Once you identify your theme, you must always keep sight of it. I liken this to wearing a pair of tinted glasses. If you put on glasses with purple lenses, you can still see the entirety of the world around you, but you will never forget that you’re wearing the glasses because everything you look at is tinted purple.

The same should be true with good memoir: introduce the reader to your world, but keep your memoir contained and on point by keeping your principal (and sometimes secondary) themes front and center.

Single-issue memoirs about things like addiction, body image, or illness — including books like Hunger: A Memoir of (My Body) by Roxane Gay;  Smashed: Story of a Drunken Girlhood by Koren Zailckas; Sick: A Memoir by Porochista Khakpour; or Laura M. Flynn’s Swallow the Ocean: A Memoir , about growing up with a mentally unwell parent are all great examples. 

For travel memoirs, or food memoirs, or memoirs of leaving home, check out books like The Expedition by Chris Fagan; or A Tiger in the Kitchen by Cheryl Lu-Lien Tan; or Blood, Bones, and Butter by Gabrielle Hamilton.

Examples of Memoirs with Strong Takeaways

Takeaway is your gift to the reader. It’s a message, reflection, or truism.

Sometimes these fall at the end of scenes or the end of chapters, but that’s not always necessary. Takeaway can happen at any moment, when the author shares something heartfelt, universal, and true.

It’s those moments in reading memoir that hit you hard because you can relate—even if you haven’t had the exact experience the author is describing.

Understanding takeaway is a long process, and some authors, when they first start thinking about takeaway, make the mistake of being too overt or trying too hard.

These are subtle moments of observation about the world around you, a wrapping up of an experience through a lesson learned or the sharing of the way something impacted you. The idea is to sprinkle these moments into your chapters, without overwhelming or spoon-feeding your reader.

Good writers do this so seamlessly you don’t even realize it happened, except that you feel like he or she has burst your heart, or crushed you with the weight of their insight. You feel like you know the author because it’s as if she’s speaking directly to you.

Good takeaway is, in fact, mirroring. It’s a way of relaying that we are not alone and the world is a crazy place, isn’t it?

But is it such a bad thing to live like this for just a little while? Just for a few months of one’s life, is it so awful to travel through time with no greater ambition than to find the next lovely meal? Or to learn how to speak a language for no higher purpose than that it pleases your ear to hear it? Or to nap in a garden, in a patch of sunlight, in the middle of the day, right next to your favorite foundation? And then to do it again the next day? Of course, no one can live like this forever. Elizabeth Gilbert

Not all reflective passages have to be questions, but you can see that this technique is effective. Gilbert is ruminating over the life she’s living, but which she cannot maintain; in her experience—through the vantage point of her American understanding of the world—it’s not possible, and undoubtedly 99% of her readers agree.

We all know what it feels like to be saddled by the burdens of everyday life. Gilbert’s readers would feel this passage on a visceral level, even if they’d never before been to Italy, because everyone understands the longing that’s wrapped up in allowing yourself to just let down. And that’s what makes this a takeaway; it’s a universal connection to the reader.

Now get out there and write!

When you follow these examples and these seven guidelines for writing your memoir, you will captivate your audience and leave them begging for more.

But more importantly, you will share your own authentic story with the world.

Ready to learn more about sharing your story with the world?

This is an updated version of a story that was previously published. We update our posts as often as possible to ensure they’re useful for our readers.

TRY OUR FREE APP

Write your book in Reedsy Studio. Try the beloved writing app for free today.

Craft your masterpiece in Reedsy Studio

Plan, write, edit, and format your book in our free app made for authors.

Guides • Perfecting your Craft

Last updated on Apr 14, 2023

How to Write a Memoir: Turn Your Personal Story Into a Successful Book

Writing a memoir can be a meaningful way to reflect on your life's journey and share your unique perspective with people around you. But creating a powerful (and marketable) book from your life's memories — one that can be enjoyed by readers across the world — is no easy task. 

In this article, we'll explore the essential ingredients that make up an impactful and commercially viable memoir and provide you with tips to craft your own.

Here’s how to write a memoir in 6 steps: 

1. Figure out who you’re writing for

2. narrow down your memoir’s focus, 3. distill the story into a logline , 4. choose the key moments to share, 5. don’t skimp on the details and dialogue, 6. portray yourself honestly.

Before you take on the challenge of writing a memoir, make sure you have a clear goal and direction by defining the following:

• What story you’re telling (if you’re telling “the story of your life,” then you may be looking at an autobiography , not a memoir),
• What the purpose of your memoir is,
• Which audience you’re writing it for.

Some authors write a memoir as a way to pass on some wisdom, to process certain parts of their lives, or just as a legacy piece for friends and family to look back on shared memories. Others have stronger literary ambitions, hoping to get a publishing deal through a literary agent , or self-publishing it to reach a wide audience. 

Whatever your motivation, we’d recommend approaching it as though you were to publish it. You’ll end up with a book that’s more polished, impactful, and accessible 一 even if it’ll only ever reach your Aunt Jasmine.

🔍 How do you know whether your book idea is marketable? Acclaimed ghostwriter Katy Weitz suggests researching memoir examples from several subcategories to determine whether there’s a readership for a story like yours.

Know your target reader

If you’re not sure where to start it doesn’t hurt to figure out your target audience 一 the age group, gender, and interests of the people you’re writing it for. A memoir targeted at business execs is a very different proposition from one written to appeal to Irish-American baseball fans. 

If you want a little help in asking the right questions to define your audience, download our author market research checklist below. 

FREE RESOURCE

Market Research Checklist

Find your ultimate target audience with our checklist.

Now that you know who you’re writing for, you need to clearly define which (yummy) slice of your life you want to share with them. 

When writing a memoir, there's always the temptation to cover broad periods of your life, from that time in first grade when Mrs. Taylor laughed at your painting, to your third divorce, and everything in between. But remember, this is not a biography. You should try to choose specific experiences or aspects of your life that form a red thread or a central theme. The narrower the focus, the better your memoir will resonate with others. 

For example, a memoir could be about the time you hiked the Appalachian Trail, became a Jiu-Jitsu master, or volunteered in a refugee camp. Naturally, anecdotes from other parts of your life may intertwine with your main narrative, but there needs to be a focused center to your book.

Not only will a narrower slice of life help you concentrate your efforts, it will also make it easier to shift the focus from your personal story to specific, relatable things you experienced , making it easier for readers to care and take something away from the book.

GET ACCOUNTABILITY

Meet writing coaches on Reedsy

Industry insiders can help you hone your craft, finish your draft, and get published.

A broader theme readers can relate to

Unless you’re a celebrity, you can’t expect people to just want to read your memoir 一 you have to give them a reason to carve time out of their busy schedule and sit with your book. People are drawn to stories that they can relate to or that teach them something about themselves and the world. 

So, before you get to writing, identify the broader themes behind your personal experiences and center the book around them. For example, a story about hiking the Appalachian Trail could be a story about spiritual growth. A book about learning Jiu-Jitsu may be about building confidence and overcoming fear. A memoir about working with refugees could be about cultivating empathy and overcoming structural inequality. 

These are themes that people from different ages, gender, and cultures can relate to. They will make your memoir much more universal. Figure out what readers can learn from your experiences, whether that’s something about resilience, trauma, parenting, self-discovery, or other, and center your book around that .    

💡 Listen to 3-time memoir author Paul Bradley Carr explain the importance of nailing your memoir’s focus from the get-go in this advice-packed Reedsy Live.

At this point, you’re probably fired up and stretching your fingers to start writing. But there are a few more steps to take to ensure you’re set up for success. 

Memory lane isn’t a straight path — it’s a winding road with many off-ramps and distractions. So before you start drafting, make a note of where you’re going by encapsulating your memoir in a sentence or two. Ask yourself: if I were to pitch it to a stranger on an elevator, how would I summarize it? The purpose of this exercise is to help you weave the main themes into a clear narrative arc, which is essential to turn your life into a captivating story. 

Here are some example loglines from famous memoirs for inspiration: 

Take some time with your logline and whittle your story down to its purest form. If it helps, start by writing what you think the back cover blurb will be. Then boil it down further and further, until you can finally pitch it in just a few sentences.

The logline is the North Star that will guide you as you start to collect the moments of your life to include in the book. 

Now that you have a direction and some central themes, it’s time to pick the best tales from your buffet of life experiences. It’s natural to look back at your life chronologically and select memories in a linear fashion, but really, what’s important is to pick the most meaningful moments, whether big or small, that propel your memoir forward.

For example, Trevor Noah’s Born a Crime is a collection of stories about growing up as a mixed-raced child in Apartheid South Africa. The book shares how Noah questioned his mother’s religious beliefs, spoke multiple languages to bridge cultural differences, made and sold CDs to escape poverty, and more. Each story is a different window into his world and how it shaped him, but all of them build on the book’s central themes of faith, identity, and resilience.

Look for moments of high emotion

When you’re mining your memory for stories, look for those with moments of high emotion and meaning. Whether it was a funny, sad, or embarrassing memory, the ones that shaped who you are and how you see the world tend to be the most emotionally charged.

To discern the gems from mediocre stories, consider working with a professional editor and take advantage of their editorial wisdom. 

MEET EDITORS

Polish your book with expert help

Sign up, meet 1500+ experienced editors, and find your perfect match.

Now close your eyes, and dig deep into your memories to repaint your stories on the blank page as colorfully (and accurately) as possible. 

To make your memoir deeply engaging, experiment with different storytelling techniques and use sensory details, actions, and dialogue, as opposed to explicitly stating what you did or how you felt. This falls into the classic writing advice of ‘ Show, don’t tell .’

When revisiting your memories, be thorough in your research and try to collect as many details as possible: 

• Read back your journal entries (if you kept one) to see how you felt in the moment.
• Get your hands on photos or videos from that period in your life (either digital or analog.)
• Interview your family members, friends, and other people relevant to your story.
• Revisit locations and settings from the past that you plan on writing about.
• Look up anything that can be verified or fact-checked (e.g. dates, social media posts, or world news.)

Once you've collected the raw material, organize these memories in a way that makes sense for you. Being systematic in your research will pay serious dividends when you actually start working on your manuscript.

You’re allowed some creative license with dialogue

One thing that is particularly important to get right is dialogue. Obviously, you don't have to write dialogue exactly as it happened — our memories are fallible after all. However, you do need to accurately capture the essence of what was said (and how). As long as you’re faithful to what happened (or at least honest about how you experienced it) you can take some liberties with the precise wording. 

To write believable dialogue, take inspiration from your favorite writers, or take our free course below for tips. 

FREE COURSE

How to Write Believable Dialogue

Master the art of dialogue in 10 five-minute lessons.

😱 Inevitably, when you write about other people there’s always a risk of portraying them in a way they don’t appreciate. As general advice, tell them you’re writing this story, or prepare to lose some relationships. And if you’re really pushing some boundaries, discuss it with your lawyer! 

Next, it’s time to look inwards and flesh out a compelling and relatable protagonist: you!  

The best memoirs read like novels, which means they hinge on the protagonist’s voice and personality 一 their quirks, values, and goals, and how they rise to life’s challenges. Just as in a novel, your memoir needs a relatable protagonist that undergoes some change.

It takes a good dose of courage to portray yourself as a multidimensional character 一 one with both strengths and weaknesses, one who sometimes wins and sometimes loses. 

Do background work on yourself

To infuse a dose of humanity to your own character, you’ll have to do the background work as if you were a character in a novel. Take note of everything from your physical appearance, cultural background, psychological traits, and more. This exercise will help you bring to surface details about your personality that you’d otherwise look over, and depict a much more well-rounded protagonist. To facilitate the process, use our free character development template which will guide you with specific prompts and questions.  

Reedsy’s Character Development Template

A story is only as strong as its characters. Fill this out to develop yours.

Define your character’s arc

Additionally, it's helpful to define your own character's arc 一 how you’ve matured through the life experiences highlighted in the memoir. There are specific steps you can follow to define your personal hero's journey , but among other questions, you’ll have to answer: 

• What inciting incident set you on a journey?
• What were the obstacles you encountered?
• Which mentors helped you along the way?
• What were the lessons you needed to learn?
• How have you changed as a result?

These questions will help you strengthen your memoir’s narrative, hooking the readers in like the best novels do. 

To give an example, Cheryl Strayed's journey in Wild begins after the death of her beloved mother and other family problems, which lead her on a path of self-destruction, culminating in a divorce and addiction to heroin. Having reached the bottom, she decides to hike the Pacific Crest Trail for three months in order to find herself. The path is filled with challenges 一 from her hiking inexperience, to losing her boots, to fellow hikers warning her that it's not safe to go on alone. Through resilience (and some help) she is able to overcome her physical and emotional challenges, find forgiveness and rediscover her inner strength. 

Take inspiration from Wild and other memoirs, and deconstruct how your own experiences might fit into these all-important story elements. 

You now have all the ingredients: a specific memoir topic that touches on universal themes (as summarized by your logline), a selection of vivid and relevant memories, and a multidimensional character with an interesting story arc. It’s time to put it all together by outlining the structure of your memoir, which is exactly what we’ll cover in our next post.

15 responses

CourtneySymons says:

11/01/2018 – 15:26

This was exactly the article I needed today! I've just begun a new career path as a ghostwriter and am finding it difficult to find learning resources (conferences, courses, books, networks of ghostwriters, etc.). If any readers have advice on where I should be looking or who I should be talking to, I would be forever grateful! Thanks so much!

M. Thomas Maxwell says:

11/01/2018 – 15:28

I had no intention of writing a book but encouraged by my grandson I embarked on a story telling venture that led to Grandfather's Journal, www.captaintommaxwell.com. It truly is a series of life stories shared with my grandson. Published by Westbow press in 2015 I used many Reedsy tips and am very pleased with the results.I have since encouraged others to consider doing the same. It took over a year and was a pleasant experience.

Don Karp says:

11/01/2018 – 16:06

As a self-published memoir writer, I read this with appreciation. I do not agree with all that's said here. For example, "2. Do Your Research." Of course certain events--those experienced publicly by a large number of people--need to be accurate. But even the word, "memoir," says it's about memory, not accuracy. This is one of the major differences from an autobiography which does require research. I looked up the dictionary definition and got confirmation on this. Perhaps you need to re-examine this and get it right?

↪️ Reedsy replied:

11/01/2018 – 17:00

I would agree that memoirs are indeed based on memory — and in some way that's why historians are often forced to question the reliability of memoirs as a primary source. I would say, however, that modern readers to expect memoirs to be as factually-correct as possible. Editors at publishers will go to great pains to ensure that — or face a public backlash. If you say anything in a memoir that can be disproved by a basic google search will seriously compromise your relationship with a reader. The other benefit with research is that it can do a lot to jog your memories. Unreliable recollections can often be set straight once you remind yourself of certain facts. Thanks for commenting!

↪️ Don Karp replied:

11/01/2018 – 17:28

Thanks for your response. This brings up two points for me. First, what is more powerful, a memory of an experience or the actual experience? Different people interpret the same experience differently. Second, what do you propose to do with the dictionary definition of "memoir?" Since the word is based on memory and not research, perhaps you can suggest some alternate word form?

↪️ The Red Lounge For Writers replied:

05/12/2018 – 08:14

I think looking at the idea of the 'voice of innocence' and the 'voice of experience' could really help with this distinction between fact and memory. As writers of memoir, we are expected to write what we remember. We can do this using the voice of innocence, and use the voice of experience to write about the factual context.

Stu Mountjoy says:

11/01/2018 – 21:48

A group I used to attend, on a Friday, started people off with the basic exercise of writing a story about one thing that happened to you, and I did one about a race at school. I am always impressed by the first page I read of Alan Alder's bio (actor in M*A*S*H TV series) - "Hi I'm Alan Alder, and when I was six, my mother tried to kill my father." - wow.

31/01/2018 – 10:15

Alda's a great writer — "Things I Overheard While Talking to Myself" is such a fantastic name for a memoir too.

Robbie Cheadle says:

31/01/2018 – 04:48

A very useful and interesting post on writing a memoir.

31/01/2018 – 10:14

I'm glad you like it Robbie :)

The Red Lounge For Writers says:

05/12/2018 – 08:10

All great advice. Memoir is probably my favourite genre to read, and some of my favourite books are memoirs. I'm of the opinion that everyone has a story to tell; it's just a matter of figuring out how to do it really well.

James Soil says:

15/07/2019 – 13:16

Thank you very much I just finished my Memoir titled Addicted it will be out this summer after reading this article I feel much better about it I pretty much did what the article says.

Izaura Nicolette says:

04/08/2019 – 04:50

Self-published Author, Izaura Nicolette. 'Within The Mountains: A Mormon Reform School Experience.' Published January, 2019. Seeking legit Publishing House or Agent. I still have not received any royalties due to publishers being fraudulent. I want to speak publicly about my memoir. Hundreds to thousands can back me up. This is a true story. I hold too close to my heart. Hoping to heal by sharing this experience, and opening door for many others.

Magzley says:

08/08/2019 – 02:14

Can I *breathe* life into my story instead?

Cassandra Janzen says:

20/12/2019 – 04:35

Very helpful, thank you!

Comments are currently closed.

Join a community of over 1 million authors

Reedsy is more than just a blog. Become a member today to discover how we can help you publish a beautiful book.

Bring your publishing dreams to life

The world's best editors, designers, and marketers are on Reedsy. Come meet them.

1 million authors trust the professionals on Reedsy. Come meet them.

Enter your email or get started with a social account:

Become a Bestseller

Follow our 5-step publishing path.

Fundamentals of Fiction & Story

Bring your story to life with a proven plan.

Market Your Book

Learn how to sell more copies.

Edit Your Book

Get professional editing support.

Author Advantage Accelerator Nonfiction

Grow your business, authority, and income.

Author Advantage Accelerator Fiction

Become a full-time fiction author.

Author Accelerator Elite

Take the fast-track to publishing success.

Take the Quiz

Let us pair you with the right fit.

Free Copy of Published.

Book title generator, nonfiction outline template, writing software quiz, book royalties calculator.

Learn how to write your book

Learn how to edit your book

Learn how to self-publish your book

Learn how to sell more books

Learn how to grow your business

Learn about self-help books

Learn about nonfiction writing

Learn about fiction writing

How to Get An ISBN Number

A Beginner’s Guide to Self-Publishing

How Much Do Self-Published Authors Make on Amazon?

Book Template: 9 Free Layouts

How to Write a Book in 12 Steps

The 15 Best Book Writing Software Tools

How to Write a Memoir That People Will Read: Your 9 Step Guide

Is it your dream to write a memoir? Everyone has a collection of memories and experiences that are worthy of being told… including you! And while memoirs are powerful stories that will change the lives of both the writer and their reader, it’s important to learn how to write a memoir effectively. 

This is a piece of your life story, after all. 

If you've been wondering: “How do I write a memoir effectively?” Don’t make the mistake of thinking that learning how to write a memoir is just like writing a journal entry, or even an autobiography. 

In this article, we’ll explain the differences, and walk you through the entire process of how to write a memoir. 

Read on to discover the secrets you need to know to make your memoir life-changing and unforgettable.

This blog on how to write a memoir covers:

What is a memoir.

A memoir is part of your life story in that it’s a collection of experiences, memories, or events that take place in a person’s life. It is not an autobiography , but rather a true experience from the writer’s life that is creatively written and incorporates research.

Writing your memoir is different to journaling moments or events in your life. If you want your memoir to be successful, you will also need storytelling skills.

Learning how to write a memoir can be a complex, daunting exercise, depending on the subject or topic of your book. It may be worthwhile to heed the advice of 20-year veteran and expert author, Jane Friedman . If your memoir isn't selling. “The only antidote to this problem is to either become a better writer, or to find a more interesting story to tell.”

Over the past few years memoirs have become very popular. You no doubt are aware of some of the memoirs that were turned into movies in recent years.

Think of an autobiography as the whole pie , and a memoir a slice of that pie . A memoir covers a certain period or specific events in your life, and not your whole life .

A memoir is…

• Not about you. Ouch. At the end of the day, you need to provide lessons and ideas that will help your readers grow. A memoir still needs to be able to resonate with readers at its core.
• Not a journal. A journal is written for personal reasons, and almost certainly does not contain any storytelling elements in it. Also, there is no message in a journal.
• Not a rant session . Keep these thoughts and feelings for your journal.

What is a memoir example?

If you are interested in learning how to write a memoir, I assume you have read a number of published memoirs already.

You have, right?

These are some memoir examples from both well-known and lesser known authors:

• On Writing by Stephen King . This memoir “is a revealing and practical view of the writer's craft, comprising the basic tools of the trade every writer must have.”
• The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls . This book came into the spotlight when the movie was made. This is a touching story, with a lot of emotion. Walls tells dives into the details of her childhood, living with her nomadic, alcoholic parents.
• Beautiful Boy by David Sheff . This is another memoir that was turned into a movie recently. And also, a very emotional story. Sheff shares his life dealing with his “son's shocking descent into substance abuse and his gradual emergence into hope.”
• Direct from Dell by Michael Dell. This book is “the incredible story of Dell Computer's successful rise, beginning in his college dorm room with $1,000 in capital.” 
• Anyone Can Do It by Duncan Bannatyne . Similar to Dell's memoir the topic of this memoir is business – but it's a business book unlike any other.
• Get Me Out of Here by Rachel Reiland . This memoir “reveals what mental illness looks and feels like from the inside, and how healing from borderline personality disorder is possible through intensive therapy and the support of loved ones.”
• Broken by Shy Keenan . This is a heart-wrenching story of incredible child abuse. The subtitle says it all: “The most shocking true story of abuse ever told.”
• The Liars' Club by Mary Karr . Published in 1995, this memoir tells the story of Karr's childhood in the 1960s in a small industrial town in Southeast Texas. The title refers to her father and his friends who would gather to drink and tell stories when not working at the oil refinery or the chemical plant.
• Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt . is a 1996 memoir by the Irish-American author Frank McCourt with various anecdotes and stories of his childhood. It details his very early childhood, but focuses primarily on his life in Limerick, Ireland. It also includes his struggles with poverty and his father's alcoholism.

Now that you have some great examples of memoirs, you may be wondering: How do I write a memoir? Can I write a memoir?

Can anyone write a memoir?

Everyone can write a memoir, but not everyone can learn how to write a memoir successfully. 

Success is linked to your “why?” and the subject matter. 

For example, if you plan to write a memoir about your years of working as a sales clerk in a retail store, you need to ask yourself what the value of your memoir is going to be to your reader.

If you have a specific and intentional value or lesson to show the reader, then great! But if you’re just telling about your day-to-day activities with no real lesson to be learned, you may want to rethink your memoir.

Finally, you also need to have storytelling skills to make your writing captivating and exciting for the reader. A book writing coach can help you bring everything together into a cohesive, engaging, and inspiring story – while helping you reach all the important milestones of writing and self-publishing a book.

That brings us to the next important topic of how to write a memoir: the key elements of a memoir.

What are the key elements of a memoir ?

Every successful memoir has specific elements that contribute to its success, both from the writing standpoint and the reader’s experience. 

Now that you have a clearer picture on the exact definition of a memoir (and what makes it different from an autobiography), it’s time to get clear on the important elements of a memoir. 

These are the key elements of a memoir: 

• A focused theme. Your memoir should have an overarching theme, takeaway lesson, or message for your readers. It’s not just a play-by-play of your life, but rather shows the reader something based on a specific event or experience.
• Conflict. The most captivating and memorable memoirs are those that have a hero’s journey , or obstacles that the narrator must overcome. 
• Writing style. The reader is likely reading the story from your perspective, so make sure your writing style and voice come through your narrative. This is your chance to invite the reader into your world and tell a story from your life, so add some personality to it. 
• Supporting stories and details. While this is a memoir about your particular experience, it will be stronger if you’re able to inject stories from other people’s lives to move your narrative along.
• Storytelling elements. Your memoir needs to be an engaging, emotional experience for the reader, and the best way to create this is by incorporating the elements of storytelling. Draw on character development, the setting of the story , an exciting plot, literary elements , and more. 
• Truth. Lastly, your memoir needs to be an honest reflection of your life experience. While it’s okay to highlight and draw attention to certain details, make sure your memoir is factual. This is not only important from a storytelling standpoint but from a legal position, too.

Crucial things to consider before writing your memoir:

It’s easy to get inspired by your dream to write a memoir, but before you get started, there are some cold hard truths to be mindful of.  Acknowledging the realities of memoir writing will help you manage your expectations and redefine what a successful memoir means for you.  Before you write your memoir, you should ask yourself:

What’s in it for the reader?

If you're not a celebrity, it may not be realistic for you to find instant world-wide success. Getting people interested in your memoir is more difficult than writing a “how to” book. That’s why it’s important to angle your memoir in a way that readers can benefit from.

Is this the right topic?

The subject or topic of your memoir has a big influence on how successful the book will be.

Are my writing skills up to snuff?

Storytelling is important when learning how to write a memoir. That isn’t to say that you need to be a super talented writer to publish a successful memoir, but you do have to use literary elements in your story.

Am I emotionally prepared?

Writing a memoir can be a tremendous experience, but it can also be a daunting one. For example, if you want to write a memoir about your years of abuse in foster care, revisiting the memories may be traumatic.

That being said, learning how to write a memoir about traumatic experiences can be an incredibly empowering and healing process. You just have to be ready for it.

So, now that we've discussed what a memoir is and determined that you can, in fact, write one, let's discuss how to write a memoir successfully in nine simple steps.

How to write a memoir in 9 easy steps

Here are the only steps you'll need to learn how to write a memoir:

1. Determine the purpose of your memoir

The first step in learning how to write a memoir is determining WHY you want to write it. If you don't have a strong “why?”, the motivation and determination to write your memoir will be almost impossible.

Tips for discovering the “why” of your memoir:

• Accept the process. It can be hard, but also exhilarating to learn how to write a memoir. Accept that there will be roadblocks, then ask yourself why it will be worth the struggles.
• Free write. Before you even start writing your book outline , brainstorm the reason you want to write it. Use pen and paper, or fire up your favorite word processor and think about the reason(s).
• Don’t make your “why” about money or recognition. Although these can be part of the reason for writing, your “why” should be deeper than that, like changing lives or leaving a legacy . 

Even if you are not a celebrity, but your memoir has a powerful message – encouraging, inspirational, motivational, or helpful in some other way – you may find that your book really takes off.

What do you want your reader to take away from your memoir?

Looking at the published memoirs I mentioned earlier, let's look briefly at what their purposes are…

• Beautiful Boy . The purpose of this memoir is to illustrate the value of human endurance, love, and perseverance in dealing with drug addiction. Sheff offers encouragement and inspiration for his reader.
• Anyone Can Do It . Bannatyne inspires and motivates his readers by saying that anyone can achieve business success through perseverance.
• On Writing . The purpose of King's book is to educate and encourage anyone interested in the writing craft.

2. Identify your target audience

Knowing the purpose of your memoir can help you identify your audience, and as such identify a market for your book. This will be invaluable when the time comes to promote your memoir. Ask yourself:

• Who is my typical reader? Examine their background, age range, career, interests, fears, etc.
• What is my reader looking for in a memoir? Does this reader expect to see heavier research, specific words and phrases, or actionable takeaways they can apply to their lives?
• What categories does this reader belong in? Is your memoir targeted at entrepreneurs, young parents-to-be, or people dealing with illness?
• Where do these readers consume information? Think of where you can reach these readers. These could be blogs and forums on the subject of your memoir. Think of where your readers can be found offline, too (clubs, organizations, associations, etc.). 

Think “outside the box.” In many cases (especially for a memoir) there could be secondary audiences.

3. Plan your memoir

Without proper planning, learning how to write a memoir will take a lot longer. 

After your initial questions are answered, you can start the actual planning of your memoir. This can include:

• A mindmap (Hero's Journey)
• A text list
• An outline (questions)

Using a mindmap can be a huge time saver when learning how to write a memoir. You should:

• Plan the events. What event(s) and period is your memoir going to cover? For example, my time spent in the navy, my years at the orphanage, my life in foster care, how I started a side hustle and built it into a 6-figure company, etc.
• Use questions. As you build your mindmap, think of questions you want to ask. These will form the basis for your outline.
• Keep it simple at first. Start with a basic mindmap, then create a 3-act structure (or Hero's Journey) diagram.

The above diagram I created after doing my mindmap, when I planned my second memoir. This was an A3 sheet, and I then used a pen to build the full story structure of a memoir afterwards.

Make a list

Expand your mindmap items and make a list (or lists) of the main points of your story. The list can be short answers to the questions you asked yourself.

Because the idea at this stage is to get the ideas down on paper quickly, these can be short phrases or sentences.

This is an example from my second memoir:

• Where it started – a kid, with my friend; make pocket money
• Reading a certain book – big influence on me – gave me the foundation
• First side hustle; photography [photo of camera] – weekends & nights – good extra income
• And so on…

Tip: Make notes on your mindmap of what source material (research) you will need. In my list above, I noted (in [brackets]) that I want to find a photo of the camera I used.

Outline your memoir

With your mindmap and list done, you can now start writing the basic outline of your memoir.

The value of a memoir outline is priceless; as it is when writing any book. With a memoir you will be covering a certain timespan, and events that occurred, and relying only on memory, which can be an arduous task.

Some of the basic questions to get started are:

• What event(s) am I going to cover?
• What is the timescale of my memoir?
• Who are the characters (the people) in my memoir?
• What source material do I need? Where will I get this?
• Will I need to interview anyone? When/how can I do this?

Use your list (and questions) and start to create your outline.

Every writer is unique and we all have our own best method of outlining.

4. Find source material (research)

When learning how to write a memoir, don't rely on your memory alone. If you have any type of source material, gather this and file it.

This is applicable whether the time period of your memoir covers a number of years, or only a few years. Use the notes you made on your list – you may think of more source material you need as you do this.

Before you start to gather your source material, create a filing system (either physical, on the computer, or both).

If your source material is not sorted and filed, it can turn into an incredible time waster when learning how to write a memoir.

Think of what (and how much) research you need to do. This will give you an idea of how much work is needed before you put pen to paper (or hit the keyboard).

Another thing you should consider when learning how to write a memoir is a writing schedule . This can help you a lot in getting the actual writing of your memoir done within a realistic time frame. Otherwise it can drag on for years.

To learn how to write a memoir smoothly, I cannot emphasise the value of thorough preparation enough.

5. Consider memoir writing legalities

Full disclosure: We are not attorneys, and do not offer legal advice.

Heed the advice of Nomi Isak, from Los Angeles Editors & Writers Group : “Before publishing your memoir, get feedback from others and, if necessary, consult an attorney.”

Here’s what you need to know to avoid being sued with your memoir : “If your facts will not hold up as 100% true in a court of law, you can open yourself up to defamation. Before you write, make sure to check your facts. You want to know that if you’re writing about something controversial, that you’re not fabricating the truth.”

Tips to avoid being sued when learning how to write a memoir:

• Don’t lie in your memoir. 
• Understand your right to free speech. 
• Be aware of defamation and invasion of privacy issues. 

6. Be mindful of common memoir mistakes 

As you begin to write, it’s important to identify the common mistakes made by those writing a memoir. By keeping these front of mind before you start writing, and during your writing process, you’ll be prepared to avoid these mistakes as much as possible. 

Here are common mistakes when learning how to write a memoir:

• A boring story. This was the mistake I made with my first memoir. There was no storytelling, and the structure was…boring. The structure of a memoir needs to be compelling. I will always be grateful that a friend reviewed the manuscript and offered his honest advice. Be aware of this and ask a trusted friend or family member to read your manuscript before you send it to the professional editor and publisher.
• More than one book. This can be a real problem. As you start thinking about your memoir, it is possible that you want to include too much information, and the end result is that there is more than one book in your memoir. This can be overwhelming for your reader.
• Not focusing on the reader . Review the sections on finding your “why” to make sure you don't make this mistake. Again, this was a mistake I made with my first memoir – I wrote it only from my view, and for me. There was nothing for the reader to glean. 
• Strange chronology. Memoirs have a general format, and to make it easier for your reader, the structure of a memoir should follow a chronological order.

7. Work through multiple drafts until you finish your memoir

As a memoir is such a personal type of book, and relies on memory (or historical source material), I suggest the following writing stages when learning how to write a memoir.

• Rough draft . Finishing a rough draft is all about speed – just get your ideas down on the page (or computer screen). Write, write, write.
• First draft . You can now tidy up your writing and add any source material that you may need. At this stage you should look at the completeness of your manuscript, i.e. is everything in that needs to be in? See how to start writing a book for more ideas on how to write a memoir in the beginning stages.
• Second draft . Now you look closer at your manuscript and your story to improve upon it. Refer back to your 3-act diagram.
• Final draft . Bring out your magnifying glass. I would suggest printing a copy of your Second Draft, and check the physical copy. Read your manuscript as a book and check how the story flows. Is there anything that's unclear? Are all your cross-references correct?

Here are some tips to finish writing your memoir:

• Set aside time for writing and make a schedule. Then, stick to that schedule as much as you can!
• Acknowledge and overcome any feelings of imposter syndrome that prevent you from writing.
• Take breaks from writing if you need them, but do not give up entirely.
• Write first, edit later. Do not edit while you write. Save this for your editing process. Just focus on getting the words out first.
• Create a writing routine. Write at a specific time in the day, or in a specific area. Use positive affirmations, inspirational quotes , and have a warm cup of coffee or tea ready to go.
• Communicate with your family and friends about your writing goals . This will help them understand the importance of your writing time.
• Don't aim for perfection. This is a common mistake most aspiring authors make when learning how to write a memoir. Done is better than perfect. You can always edit and refine your words later.

8. Title your memoir

When you start planning your memoir, you will likely have a working title, and that may change, especially after you start writing your book.

This is perfectly normal.

The subject of your memoir will usually determine your title. Look at the titles of the memoirs I have referenced in this series, and notice the titles for the different types of memoirs to draw inspiration.

The right title is important when your book is ready to be published. It can be more valuable than your book's cover design, although they go together like a horse and carriage. My advice is not to just pick the first title that comes to mind.

A tool I like to use is our free book title generator .

Keep in mind that this is software, and you know the contents of your book best. The ultimate decision lies with you, the author.

9. Get your story out in the world

Once your memoir manuscript is written, it’s time to get it ready to be published. 

This means having it professionally edited, getting a book cover designed, and completing the entire publishing process. 

Hopefully, this guide on how to write a memoir will help you launch into action.

You have a life experience to share – a life experience that will contribute to your legacy and impact the lives of readers all around the world.

Are you ready to share your story?

Hopefully by now, you can confidently answer the question: “How do I write a memoir?”

So now it's time to get writing!

If you need more help with how to write a memoir, the team at selfpublishing.com is always here to offer advice. You can make use of our many services for authors, from free outlines and courses, to book cover design, to one-on-one guidance from brainstorm to book launch.

What is a Biography? Definition, Elements, and More

Editorial, Writing

25 Personification Examples for Writers: What It Is & How to Use It

Fiction, Learning, Writing

5 Tips For Mastering Your Rough Draft

Join the community.

Join 100,000 other aspiring authors who receive weekly emails from us to help them reach their author dreams. Get the latest product updates, company news, and special offers delivered right to your inbox.

Join our mailing list and receive your free eBook. You'll also receive great tips on story editing, our best blogs, and learn how to use Fictionary software to make your story unforgettable.

• Name This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Blogs / Non-fiction / How to Write a Memoir: 10 Tips for Sharing Your Story

Perfect Your Storytelling

How to write a memoir: 10 tips for sharing your story.

What happens when a writer wants to tell a true story about themselves? They become the protagonist and fill the chapters with scenes from their own lives. They share their personal character arc and the life lessons it imparts. That is a memoir.

What is a Personal Memoir?

The term memoir comes from the French word “mémoire,” which means memory or remembrance, reflecting the personal and reflective nature of the genre. 

Memoirs can cover a wide range of topics, from childhood memories to professional accomplishments, and they often include emotional and introspective insights from significant moments, relationships, and events.

Memoir vs. Autobiography

A memoir focuses on a small slice, an event or series of related events, sometimes bound by theme, that have occurred in the writer’s life. They deliver a message. 

An autobiography is the whole pie. It’s a linear, usually chronological accounting of a person’s entire life, typically written by someone with fame or prominence. For example, someone who has a high profile within their realm or beyond like a movie star, a politician, an athlete, or even a criminal.

While we all like to think we’ve led interesting lives, it’s unlikely that interest would prevail beyond our circle of family and friends. But everyday people have tales that can and should be told.

What to Include in a Memoir

When deciding what to write about, consider the 5 W’s: Who/What/Why/Where/When. 

Who Am I Writing About? 

The obvious answer is you. Who makes up your cast of characters?  Friends, enemies, lovers, relatives, co-workers, your favorite teacher from sixth grade, the cop who arrested you, or the doctor who treated your cancer? 

What Statement Am I Making?

Being able to reduce your book’s point to a statement, belief, or argument gives you focus and helps you evaluate it for its potential resonance. If you’re looking for revenge by sharing someone’s dirty laundry, it’s best to rethink your strategy. 

A story about bringing someone else down rarely wins over the hearts of your readers. But if you want to illuminate the biggest life lesson you gleaned from your experiences to help others, by all means, write about it.

Why Am I Writing?

From an external standpoint, your “why” may involve recognition, validation, and income. These are all valid reasons. 

The internal “why” may be harder to pinpoint. It could range from wanting to share what you’ve learned, to spare people from suffering like you did, to telling a story that touches people and helps them understand their own lives better. 

Providing knowledge, comfort, encouragement, and inspiration to others appeals to our human need of finding meaning in the things that happen to us.

External Reasons:

• Gain notoriety
• Document family history
• Capture memories
• Establish my writing presence

Internal Reasons:

• Tell a personal story
• Discover the meaning of life
• Share knowledge
• Provide inspiration
• Validate myself as a writer
• Get healing through telling my story

Where Did My Story Take Place?

Even if you grew up in Chicago, you can’t take for granted that everyone knows what it’s like to experience life in the Windy City. 

A small town in Texas or a quaint village in the English countryside also require enough description for your reader to feel like they’re experiencing it with you, the beauty, the horror, and the quirks.

When Did This Happen?

Anchoring your story in a time frame is important for your reader. Whether you’re a child of the 70s or Generation Z, when your story takes place is important and you need to place your readers in that time. Were you a child, a college student, or about to retire? 

Writing a memoir does not involve inventing a world or characters out of thin air. It should be based on truth. However, truth is the eye of the beholder. 

Picture a crime scene. Police interview the witnesses. Each gives a different account. Why? They might be standing in different locations so what they could see varied from the others. Their perspectives may differ because one witness thinks the victim resembles the neighborhood bully from their childhood. Another thinks every stranger is a criminal. Their life experiences shape the way they view everyday occurrences. 

As we recall the events of our life, many things can color our memories like trauma, illness, prejudices, and even the simple passage of time. What did our memory choose to keep and why? This doesn’t mean we are being untruthful, rather, it is simply our version of the truth that we’re telling. Don’t feel constrained by your perspective. Embrace it.

How to Start a Memoir

Write what comes to mind. You can decide later what you’ll keep and what you’ll cut. Try to keep it related to the specific event, situation, or experience. Many memoir writing coaches suggest simply tapping into memories and writing them down. 

Some people like to write a long, detailed account of events while others jot down a few lines. Some like to produce snippets in chronological order while others write whatever comes to mind. What’s most important is to have enough content to choose from when forming your story. This doesn’t mean writing your life story. (Save that for when you’re making the talk show circuit celebrating your worldwide success.) 

Once you’re ready to write your first draft, begin by writing a simple summation of your story, just like you would for a novel. Develop a one-sentence premise of your memoir. Remember, make it about one specific situation and what you learned from it. 

If you’re having trouble, imagine writing a skeleton blurb for a novel. Who is the protagonist? You! What shook your world up? How did you respond? In what ways did your life change after going through this situation? 

Different Types of Memoirs

Now that you’ve gotten started, decide what kind of story you’re telling. Here are the more common types of memoirs:

• Traditional Memoirs: These are retrospective, recounting significant life events and providing a comprehensive exploration of the author’s experiences and emotions.
• Childhood Memoirs: These transport readers back to the author’s formative years, capturing innocence, challenges, and the profound impact of early experiences, tapping into the universal human longing to understand one’s roots.
• Coming-of-Age Memoirs: These navigate the tumultuous waters of adolescence, exploring themes of self-discovery, forming one’s identity, and the trials of growing up.
• Transformative Journey Memoirs: These delve into pivotal moments or journeys that changed the author’s life, resulting in personal transformation through travel, self-discovery, or overcoming adversity.
• Historical Memoirs: These intertwine personal experiences with historical events. Using a backdrop of wars, revolutions, cultural shifts, or other significant periods, authors share their perspectives using a unique lens through which readers can understand historical events.
• Confessional Memoirs: These are deeply personal and often raw stories revealing intimate details, vulnerabilities, and struggles, inviting readers into their emotional landscapes.
• Educational Memoirs: These combine personal stories with lessons learned. Authors share wisdom and insights gained from their experiences, aiming to offer inspiration or guidance to others.
• Retrospective Memoirs: These look back on a specific time or event in the author’s life, offering reflections, insights, and a sense of newfound understanding and closure.
• Thematic Memoirs: These memoirs weave together different stories and events from the author’s life to illustrate a central theme, such as love, loss, or betrayal. 
• Chronological Memoirs: These tell the story from start to finish, providing a linear narrative of the author’s journey for that portion of their life.

Within each of these types of memoirs, there is an external story and an internal story. The external story focuses on the events themselves, such as surviving war, abuse, or tragedy. The internal story reflects the growth of the character in response to those events.

What to Write a Memoir About

Consider these things when writing your memoir:

• Who is your book for: Having a target audience will help you focus on the message you want to share.
• Write with honesty and authenticity : Being vulnerable can make your story more relatable and compelling. Only you know what it was like to take your journey. Tell it with the emotion of the triumphs and challenges you experienced.
• Show, Don’t Tell : Though it might tempt you to merely lay out the events in a journalistic way, strive to show what happened with dialogue, vivid descriptions, and sensory details. Bring to life the people, places, and events as you experienced them.
• Character Development : Even if you are the only character in your story, you need to show who you are to your readers. Develop yourself and others in your memoir with depth, showing motivations, strengths, weaknesses, and growth.
• Prose : Pay attention to the craft of writing. Most memoirs are written from a first-person point of view in order to establish a connection with readers. It is possible to write from a third-person point of view, but it may create a more objective or detached perspective. It may be suitable if your story involves more than just you as the protagonist, such as siblings whose experiences are intertwined. You’ll also decide which tense to use. Be consistent. Watch your pacing and narrative flow.

What Is Good Memoir Structure?

While a memoir involves writing about personal events and recollections, the story still requires the same solid story structure as a novel. 

It’s true that in a novel there can be three points of view—the author, the perspective from which the story is told, and the main character or protagonist who lives the story. 

In memoirs, these three are one and the same. This presents a critical lesson: a memoirist must determine what they know and how they should reveal it to the reader.

Another important point to consider is that of truth. Remember that one person’s account may vary from another and yet remain truthful due to varying perceptions. You may not remember the exact words exchanged in a conversation, but the gist of the message should remain.

Memoir Writing Tips

Before getting to the structure, consider these tips:

• Narrow your focus: Remember, you’re not writing an autobiography. You’re focusing on one moment or series of moments around a theme.
• Write about more than the story: Yes, the focus is on an event or related events, but consider the other players—the characters, the time, and the setting. Share interesting facts about them in your writing to bring vivid details to life.
• Use fictional elements: While your memoir is a true story, you can and may need to embellish it, depending on how vivid your memory is. When focusing on other characters, locations, and dialogue, create intriguing details about them to evoke emotions in your readers. This will not compromise the integrity of your story; it will keep your reader mesmerized.
• Be careful with pacing: Determine the rhythm of your story. Some events may need more detailed exploration, while others can be summarized to maintain the flow.
• Have a narrative arc: Your memoir should have a clear beginning, middle, and end.

Memoir Structure

It makes sense to approach your memoir’s structure like that of a novel. It needs the following components:

• Opening Image: Start with a compelling hook or scene that establishes the setting, time, and key characters.
• Setup/Exposition: These scenes show what your ordinary world is like, setting the tone before changes come. It helps to establish what’s at stake for you.
• Inciting Incident: Introduce the main conflict that sets your story into motion. What happens that shakes up your world and causes you to react?
• Plot Point 1: At this stage, you know what your goal is, but you’re not thrilled about chasing it. Since you’re in reactionary mode, your actions may not be related to achieving the goal.
• Middle: The middle marks the point where you become proactive to the goal. This means you’ve learned the rules, and you can now make plans to go after the goal. No longer just accepting your fate, you’re finding the strength to deal with the obstacles in your path. How do you grapple with the challenges, make decisions, and demonstrate personal growth?
• Plot Point 2: It is the low point in your story where it seems all is lost. Have your efforts to reach your goal resulted in failure or brought more hardship? Were you lacking knowledge or had incorrect information that led you to make unwise choices?
• Climax: This is where you achieve (or fail to achieve) your story’s goal. The tension, conflict, and emotional upheaval reach their peak in this scene and offer your reader the payoff to the story’s promise. This is your moment of triumph, crisis, self-realization, or transformation.
• Resolution: Wrap up by reflecting on lessons learned, personal growth achieved, and the impact of the events on your life. You may offer insights or wisdom gained from your experiences.

Memoir Examples

Here are some highly regarded books which offer guidance on writing memoirs:

The Art of Memoir by Mary Karr

Mary Karr, a celebrated memoirist, shares her wisdom and experience in this book, offering theoretical insights and practical advice on crafting compelling memoirs while reflecting on her writing journey.

Writing the Memoir: From Truth to Art by Judith Barrington

This book provides a comprehensive guide to writing memoirs, covering topics such as memory, structure, voice, and revision.

Fearless Confessions: A Writer’s Guide to Memoir by Sue William Silverman

Sue William Silverman draws upon her own personal and professional experience to provide a practical guide for transforming life into words that matter. 

The Memoir Project: A Thoroughly Non-Standardized Text for Writing & Life by Marion Roach Smith

This concise and engaging book emphasizes the importance of storytelling and personal voice in memoir writing.

Your Life As Story by Tristine Rainer

Tristine Rainer fills her book with examples from renowned writers and demonstrates techniques for crafting character portraits, remembering forgotten memories, unifying a story with thematic conflict, and employing fictional devices such as dialogue and humor.

Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott

A classic offering advice on writing and life, encouraging writers to take it one step at a time and to find humor in the process. It’s a valuable resource for writers of all genres.

Naked, Drunk, and Writing: Shed Your Inhibitions and Craft a Compelling Memoir or Personal Essay by Adair Lara

Lara guides writers through the process of writing their stories with authenticity and courage, helping them to craft a narrative that resonates with readers.

Great Memoirs to Read

If you want to be inspired, here are some critically acclaimed memoirs to read:

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

Walls’ memoir chronicles her unconventional upbringing by deeply dysfunctional parents, exploring themes of resilience, family, and forgiveness.

Educated by Tara Westover

This memoir tells the story of Westover’s self-transformation from growing up in a strict, isolated household in rural Idaho to eventually pursuing higher education at Cambridge and Harvard.

The Liar’s Club by Mary Karr

Karr’s memoir offers a candid and often humorous account of her turbulent childhood in East Texas, marked by her dysfunctional family and her own struggles with addiction.

Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

This memoir is a touching tale of growing up Korean-American, dealing with family bonds, cultural identity, and grief.

H is for Hawk by Helen MacDonald

Part memoir, part nature writing, MacDonald’s book explores her experience of grief and healing following her father’s death, intertwined with her journey of training a goshawk.

A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier 

A testament to the resilience of the human spirit, Beah’s story of his transformation from an innocent child to a child soldier during Sierra Leone’s civil war recounts his harrowing experiences.

Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp

A powerful narrative of Knapp’s love affair with alcohol, her struggle with addiction, and her courageous path to recovery.

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Gilbert explores themes of spirituality, love, and the quest for inner peace on a year-long journey of self-discovery following a divorce.

Conclusion on Writing a Memoir

Writers are passionate about telling the stories they’ve created in their minds. Memoir writers have lived their stories and want to share their messages of hope and inspiration or perhaps experience a catharsis of their own. In any case, memoir is a valuable genre worth considering for any writer.

• SUCCESS STORIES

How to Write a Memoir: 13 Steps for a Gripping Life Story

Posted on Nov 27, 2023

Written by Bella Rose Emmorey

Learning how to write a memoir might seem simple…

You may think it easy to jot down details about your life in a cohesive, entertaining fashion…but there’s quite a bit more to and this is where we see a lot of writers fall short .

Our student Nadine Blase Psareas sure thought so before joining Self-Publishing School.

The thing is, if you’re like Nadine, you probably don’t even know what you’re missing to take your idea of a memoir and turn it into something tangible and effective in aiding others.

Memoirs can be very complex pieces of work. It takes a lot of skill and craft to be able to write down intimate details about your life for others to read and learn from.

Which means learning how to write and even publish/ market a memoir can be really hard.

But the great part?

Like Nadine, you’ll learn that writing a memoir is both empowering and rewarding, and when broken down into these feasible steps, it’s something you can learn to master in no time.

Which is exactly what Nadine did when she published her own memoir, Hope Dealers , with us, a journey of the struggles of addiction, health issues, entrepreneurship, and more.

Here are the steps for how to write a memoir:

• Choose your memoir’s theme
• List associating memoir memories
• Add others’ related memories
• Write your memoir truthfully
• Show, don’t tell when writing a memoir
• Get vulnerable with your memoir
• Make connections with each story
• Add the impact in your life today
• Put your personality into it
• Write a memoir you want to read
• Be relatable
• Convey emotion by showing, not telling
• Make the message clear right away

How many people can say they have written a book detailing the most impactful moments of their lives?

And by taking this leap and diving headfirst into your memories and entire life , you’re reaching new heights for yourself and you may even enlighten others by the end of your journey.

There’s so much to know about memoirs. Let us answer some of the most popular questions before we dive into the full steps of how to write your memoir. If you’re a visual learner, we’ve included a mighty “How to Write a Memoir” infographic at the end of this post just for you.

What is a memoir?

A memoir is a historical account or biography written from personal knowledge or special sources. It’s a book about your life, the lessons learned, and key moments that shaped who you are.

We all typically think of a memoir and cringe a little at the idea of a book about someone else’s life. But that’s not all a memoir is!

Essentially, this is a book written by you about key moments in your life. You bring your memories to life in order to touch on an overarching message others can learn and grow from.

It’s like the highlight reel from your diary (if you ever had one) about the experiences that shaped your life.

And even though you’re technically writing a nonfiction book , memoirs should be more in the category of “fiction” when it comes to the style and flow of the book. It’s an entertaining read fashioned like a story…it just so happens to be true.

[Want to see some of our students’ books? Check out the SPS Library here !]

What qualifies as a memoir?

A memoir is unique in the fact that it covers your life’s events in a more story-like structure with an overarching theme or message.

This means that “how-tos,” “motivational books,” “ self-help books ,” and other topics don’t qualify as a memoir. Memoirs are very specific in the sense that it accounts for the entirety of your life with an emphasis on stories and impactful moments that lead to a great purpose.

Memoir definition

A memoir is a historical account written with personal knowledge and experience covering the lifetime of an individual, usually with a greater purpose or message within it. It’s your life story and therefore your own story.

How long should memoirs be?

The length of a memoir for the average person should stay between 50,000 – 60,000 words. Unless you’re a Matthew McConaughey writing something to the level of Greenlights (that sits at just over 90,000 words), you can’t often get away with writing longer memoirs.

Can anyone write a memoir?

Yes, anyone has the ability and experience to write a memoir. The biggest misconception is that you have to be famous or have to have experienced something major in order to write a memoir. But that’s not needed.

In fact, some of the most powerful memoirs can come from the “average” person detailing the biggest lessons in their life.

You have a story. Everyone has a story, and what we do here at Self-Publishing School is get that story out and into a book you can pass down for generations.

Check out our program which specializes in memoirs that make an impact.

What is the difference between a memoir vs autobiography?

A memoir typically covers one aspect of a writer’s life (or a continuous theme through memories), while an autobiography is a chronological account of the writer’s life .

With so many book genres and writing terminology out there, knowing the differences between a memoir vs autobiography, (AKA: works of writing that are basically the same) can be confusing.

They’re both about someone’s life written by themselves, right? Right.

But they do differ in a single way that really makes a memoir vs an autobiography completely different in terms of their end results.

For example, Nadine’s memoir touches on many parts of her life, but the core focus is to help addicts and those with several life struggles get back on their feet.

So if you want to write a play-by-play of your entire life from the moment you popped into this world to the very second you started writing, you’d write an autobiography.

But if you’re looking to share a profound message with the world through your own real-life experiences, you’ll write a memoir.

How to Write a Memoir with Meaning and Influence in 13 Steps

Writing a memoir can not only be a valuable experience for you, but the impact it may have on other people is astounding too.

You have a life worth something.

You have experiences that led you to a very specific place in life, and you know what?

Others have undoubtedly been in your shoes before and will benefit from you writing a book. 

Essentially, you can teach others how to get through what you did or even how to learn from their own journeys just as you have yours.

That’s the meaning of a memoir and its influence knows no bounds.

Writing a memoir can be difficult simply because it’s about your life, not to mention the fact that you want to write your prose in an engaging way—much like narrative writing .

Somehow, we find it too hard to put our own lives into words through a meaningful message.

How do you really sum up an accumulation of years and years of experience in only a couple hundred pages?

We’ll help you learn how to write a memoir worth reading – and sharing.

Step 1 – Choose the focus or theme for your memoir

A memoir isn’t just a list of all the experiences in your life. If it were, you’d call it an autobiography.

What sets memoirs apart from a simple retelling of your life is an overarching theme or message that others can take away from it – and that you personally learned from the stories you share.

Think about what you want others to take away from reading your memoir.

What will they learn or realize or gain from reading about your life? You can ask yourself those very same questions about your life to find the answers.

What have you learned throughout your life? What’s the number 1 message that your experiences have taught you?

Once you have that big, broad idea , the real work begins.

Step 2 – List all associating memoir-related memories

It’s time to do a little mind mapping .

Now that you know the overall theme and message of your memoir and what will set it apart, you have to connect the dots of your life to that core focus.

Here are a few areas to think about specifically to help jog some of those memories in order to help you know how to write a memoir worth reading:

• Childhood influences
• Grade school
• Teenage years
• First job/s
• First love/s
• Siblings/family
• College/post high school
• Grandchildren
• Hopes and dreams
• Aspirations
• Resentments

There are so many areas that have a direct influence over how you perceive life as a whole. You just have to do a little digging to spark some specific memories that can circle back to the overarching theme of your memoir.

Step 3 – Add others’ related stories

I know this is a book about your li fe but it never hurts to back up your own experiences with someone else’s – or many other people’s.

Knowing how to write a memoir involves knowing when your message will be loudest. And that’s often with additional stories from others.

Sometimes you can’t always get the message across if only you have experienced it. To get readers to relate, you might have to show them that many people experience the same thing.

One of the most powerful connections you can make to benefit from the message of your memoir is to show your readers that it’s not just you .

Others have gone through the same situations you have and came out with the same perspective.

This one requires some extensive research (and maybe even an interview or two), but possessing the ability to be credible in your readers’ eyes is crucial. And obviously, you’ll want to make sure you’re using their experiences legally in your memoir .

You can even interview family or friends who might see an experience you share differently than you.

Adding those details will strengthen your core message.

Step 4 – Write truthfully

One of the hardest parts about writing a memoir is the fact that we tend to be a wee bit biased with ourselves.>

*Gasp* You don’t say!

It’s true. Nobody really likes to admit their faults.

It’s one thing to recognize when you were wrong in life, it’s another to actually write it down for the world to see.

It’s hard. We want everyone to see the best version of ourselves and therefore, we leave out details or flat out lie to seem “better” in their eyes.

But that’s not what makes a good memoir.

In order to learn how to write a memoir that really touches people in deep, emotional ways, you have to learn to be honest.

Step 5 – Show, don’t tell in your memoir writing

No, this doesn’t mean you have to write a picture book. That’s not what “show” means in this case.

When it comes to creating intrigue with your writing – and trust me, you want to do this, especially for a memoir – you have to write by showing, not telling .

For the sake of brevity, I’ll just give you an overview of this writing technique, but if you’re interested in mastering the ability to pull readers in, you can check out this detailed explanation.

Essentially, showing versus telling is the way in which you describe your experiences with an emphasis on emotion.

But that doesn’t mean you should write down every feeling you had during a specific time. In fact, that’s what you want to avoid.

Step 6 – Get vulnerable

Memoirs are not a time to distance yourself from your inner feelings.

Quite the opposite, actually.

It’s time to dig deep and show the world what kind of author you are through your life experiences by getting vulnerable.

Open yourself up to the truth behind who you are today . If you shield yourself in any way, it’s going to be obvious on the pages of your memoir and therefore, not as effective.

At first, you may want to cringe while writing certain memories but after a few days, you’ll find it easier to share your truth.

And best of all? You’ll be happy you did.

Step 7 – Make connections with each story

You have your focus, right? Having that overarching message is going to help you tie all of your memories together in a cohesive manner.

Each time you start telling a story – whether it’s yours or someone else’s – you have to connect to your focus in order for that theme to come across to your readers.

But they don’t all have to directly relate to your focus.

Some experiences may have led you to moments of realization that then led you to other events that tie into the main message you want others to gain from reading your memoir.

Think of it this way: you want to connect the dots so by the time the reader is finished, the message comes full circle.

Step 8 – Talk about how everything affects your life today

Usually, writing a memoir is about looking back on your life and determining how you made it to who you are today. What events lead to the very core of who you are > right now ?

That means your memoir will include inside peeks into your life as you live it now.

Each chapter should bring your readers back to your present-day life and how each memory affected where you are today.

Step 9 – Put your personality into the memoir

Nobody wants to read a stiff retelling of your life.

I’m sorry, but I’m not really. I’m here to help. And that means I have to be real with you and tell you that people want to hear your personality!

They’re reading about your life and that means they want more of you in the writing. Learning how to write a memoir includes figuring out how to put more of you into the pages.

Don’t be afraid to write how you speak. Talk to them as if you were talking to a friend.

Here are a few ways you can add more personality into your memoir:

• Use literary devices
• Use cuss words (if that’s how you really speak!)
• Add your personal lingo (we all have phrases we use regularly)
• Italicize words you emphasize when speaking
• If you have the urge to write something you think is funny or witty, do it!
• Write your book by talk-to-text using Google Docs or other writing software

You want your readers to gain a sense of who you are not only  through your stories but through the voice in your writing as well.

Step 10 – Write a memoir you’d want to read

How do you ensure others will like our memoir? Write it in a way that makes it an entertaining read for yourself!

This has a lot to do with putting your own personality into it but it’s also about crafting the structure of your novel in an entertaining manner, too.

Even though this is a memoir, there should still be a climax to keep readers intrigued.

This would be when your life came to a head; where you struggled but were able to pull yourself out of the trenches and forge your own path.

How to start a memoir (3 bonus steps!)

A strong introduction is everything.

Without the ability to hook readers, convincing someone to buy and read your book will be a bit harder than anticipated.

That’s why we’ve put together a few tips to help you learn how to start a memoir that’s captivating and intriguing.

Let’s draw those readers in!

Step 11 – Be relatable

Nobody wants to read a book that’s preachy or condescending.

One major mistake many make when writing a memoir is not starting a story off in a way that makes the readers connect with them.

This is one of the most important aspects of your memoir.

Do you really think people will want to read about a person’s life if they can’t relate to them?

Think about when you were most invested in a book (or even a TV show or movie). What did you like most? Could you relate to the author or the characters?

Did you understand their pain and triumph and hardships?

This is typically the best way to not only create invested readers but to gain fans. When others relate to you and see themselves in your journey, they’ll want to stick around to see how it plays out.

And that means they’ll read your whole book and any others you write.

Step 12 – Use emotion by showing, not telling

If you want to give a play-by-play of your life with nothing more than a list of experiences you’ve gone through, that’s fine.

Just know that doing it that way won’t hook your readers and it certainly won’t keep them.

A memoir can be a powerful tool for educating others through your life journeys, but if they’re not intrigued enough to keep reading, it’ll render your memoir pointless.

And we don’t want that.

Showing and not telling, you’ll put more emotion into your writing. This technique might sound confusing but it’s actually quite easy once you learn how to do it.

Here are the basics for showing versus telling:

• Use fewer tell words like “I heard,” “I felt,” “I smelled,” “I saw,” to bring readers closer
• Stop explaining emotions and instead explain physical reactions of those emotions (If you want to say “I was scared,” describe your heart hammering against your chest or the sweat beading your forehead instead)
• Describe body language in more detail
• Use strong action verbs that coincide with the emotions you’re trying to convey (writing “crashed to the floor” instead of “fell to the floor” creates more impact)

This writing method can be tricky to master but thankfully, there are countless resources to help you figure it out.

Step 13 – Make the message clear right away

What is it you’re trying to say through your memoir? Why did you want to start writing one in the first place?

Everybody has an interesting life if you look deep enough. What you have to determine is how your life experiences can aid and shape the lives of others.

Think about how that will manifest from what you’ve lived through before and make sure your readers know what it is from the start (which can also be done through a powerful book title ).

3 Tips for Writing a Memoir From Experts

The best advice you can receive is from someone who’s done it before. These Self-Publishing School students (and graduates!) have first-hand knowledge when it comes to the difficulties of writing your life down on paper.

Here’s what these memoir writers want you to know.

Tip 1 – What makes a great memoir?

Christopher Moss, author of Hope Over Anxiety , says the best way to write your memoir is to be open about your experiences.

Tip 2 – Do you need an outline for a memoir?

Lou A. Vendetti, who’s in the thick of writing and working toward publication of his memoir, has a few pieces of advice for you.

“Do not be afraid to deviate. If your book doesn’t follow your outline one hundred percent, then that’s okay! Don’t feel like you have to only talk about what’s in your outline. You are the author; you are the publisher, so you are the one making all of the decisions (sounds scary, huh?). In the beginning, I thought it was.”

“Don’t think that the memoir is supposed to be ‘formal.’ As an example, I use contractions in mine, which would not necessarily be used in a nonfiction book. Yes, I wanted my book to be professional, but I didn’t want to make it sound like I’m not ‘on my audience’s level.’ I wanted to keep my voice and make it as if I’m talking to my audience; as if I’m having a conversation with them.”

Tip 3 – Review old photos and videos

Toni Crowe, memoir author, says it’s best to relive your memories the best you can through photos and videos.

Famous memoir examples to emulate

Sometimes it’s easier to learn by example. That way, you can fully comprehend what a memoir is in order to write your own. As well as the classics below, you can check out some of the best recent memoirs here .

These are famous memoir examples:

• A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway
• West with the Nigh t by Beryl Markham
• Personal Memoirs of Ulysses S. Grant by Ulysses Grant
• Out of Africa by Isak Dinesen
• The Story of My Life by Helen Keller
• I Am Malala: The Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban  by Malala Yousafzai
• Reading Lolita in Tehran  by Azar Nafisi.
• My Beloved World  by Sonia Sotomayor
• Fun Home  by Alison Bechdel
• Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body  by Roxane Gay

Memoir examples by our own students:

• Mile-High Missionary: A Jungle Pilot’s Memoir by Jim Manley
• Walking My Momma Home: Finding Love, Grace, and Acceptance Through the Labyrinth of Dementia by Kathy Flora
• Prayers, Punk Rock and Pastry  by Chris Stewart
• Bare Naked Bravery: How to Be Creatively Courageous by Emily Ann Peterson
• Shift Happens: Turning Your Stumbling Blocks into Stepping Stones by Jill Rogers
• Hope Dealers: The Calling, The Struggles, The Breakthroughs and The Community of Believers by Nadine Blase Psareas

This is the story of your life

The biggest takeaway here is that this is your story, it’s your life, and therefore, it should be told just as you want it to be.

So…will you be like Nadine and decide to take the leap and find a system that really works to produce a bestselling memoir? Or will you spend yet another year trying to get it right?

The choice is solely yours.

But there’s nothing more freeing than having the ability to articulate your life experiences in a way that will truly speak to others and potentially change their lives.

Do you want to change lives and help others through the same turmoil you’ve experienced?

By self-publishing your memoir, you’ll be rewarded for all of your honest hard work with more than just additional income.

You will be responsible for changing and shaping the lives of others.

Get Your FREE eBook and Audiobook Copy of

“PUBLISHED: The Proven Path From Blank Page to 10,000 Copies Sold”

Continue Reading

Interested in working with us.

Book a free strategy call with our expert team!

• Legacy Projects

30+ Memoir Topic Ideas + Tips for Choosing One

Updated 06/13/2024

Published 06/26/2020

Sam Tetrault, BA in English

Contributing writer

Cake values integrity and transparency. We follow a strict editorial process to provide you with the best content possible. We also may earn commission from purchases made through affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more in our affiliate disclosure .

A memoir is a personal account of your life, an experience, or anything that shapes you into the person you are today. There are a lot of examples of some of the best memoirs out there, but have you ever considered writing your own?

There are no rules when it comes to writing your own memoir. You can choose any topic you’d like, and there are no restrictions on how you write your life story . This is a great writing exercise for students, older adults, and everyone in between. 

By taking the time to write about an experience that matters to you, you also do a lot of self-reflection. This could shine a light on how you want to be remembered, your legacy, and any changes you’d like to make in your life. 

There are so many important things you’ll recognize only once you begin writing. Instead of waiting for inspiration to strike, here are 30+ memoir topic ideas and tips for choosing the right one for you. 

If you're interested in unique ways to continue the legacy of a loved one, you can consider a custom urn from a store like Foreverence  or even have a memorial diamond made from ashes with a company like  Eterneva .

Jump ahead to these sections: 

Personal memoir topic ideas, tips for choosing the best memoir topic, tips for starting your memoir.

A personal memoir is something that’s meaningful for you. This could be an interesting event, a life-changing moment, or even just a bit of internal reflection. Again, there are no rules. Let these ideas be your guide. 

Ideas for middle school and high school students

A memoir is an excellent writing exercise for students in middle school and high school. Though these students might not have a lot of life experience, they still have unique perspectives on the world. Capturing these ideas in writing is worth its weight in gold. 

1. A major life event

We all experience major life events, even as children. What major life event defines your life, and how can you grow from it? It could be a transition from middle school to high school, a parent’s divorce, or even a vacation. These are the memories that define who we are. 

2. Your favorite place

Where do you find the most comfort? Is it at home in your bedroom or outside somewhere special? Why does this space have so much meaning for you, and how do you spend your time here? Share an experience you’ve had here.

3. Your best day

Best days might not come around all that often, but they sure are memorable when they do. Share one of the best days you’ve ever had, who you were with, and what you did. What made this moment so special?

4. Favorite food

Food is one of the things that bind people together. What food speaks the most to you, and why does it have such an important place in your heart? What does food mean within your family?

5. Favorite teacher

Teachers impact the way we think, and their role transcends the classroom. Who was your most memorable teacher? What stood out about them, and how do you work hard to make them proud?

6. Favorite book

Everyone has a book they’ve read that stuck with them. Humans share who they are through stories. Like the memoir itself, this book plays a role in who you’ve become. What book is your favorite, and what does it mean to you?

7. Most prized possession

This topic is like show-and-tell in written form. What item do you hold in the highest esteem? Is it a beloved shirt or a prize from a sporting event? Where do you keep this item, what does it look like, and what place does it hold in your heart?

8. Your favorite class or subject

No matter your feelings about school, there are bound to be some classes or subjects that stood out to you. What inspired you about these lessons? What have you learned, and how will you use these teachings moving forward?

Who are your closest friends? When did you become friends, and what keeps you close? Exploring these relationships in a memoir is a wonderful tribute to those who matter the most. 

10. Favorite holiday

Holidays have a lot of meaning around the world. Which holidays matter the most to you? What do these say about your family, culture, and personality? What is your favorite way to celebrate?

Ideas for college students

College students are at a defining moment in their lives. They have a lot of responsibility, but they’re not quite on their own in the “real world” just yet. This is the perfect transition point for some reflection through a memoir. 

11. Major or focus

In college, most students define a major or area of study. What major did you choose, and what significance does this have for you? Where do you see yourself in a few years using this major?

12. First love or friendship

We’ll never forget our earliest relationships. Share a time when you fell in love or had a close friendship. What did this relationship mean to you? How did you feel in the moment, and how do you feel now?

13. Obituary

While this might sound odd, a common writing exercise is to write your own obituary. An obituary or death announcement is a way to share your legacy on the world. Though you hope to have many happy years ahead, what do you want to include in your obituary ?

What is your most memorable travel experience? From spring break with friends to family holidays in nearby cities, the places we experience often define us. What have you learned from your journeys both near and far?

15. Hometown

If you’re no longer in your hometown, reflect on what this means to you. Was your hometown somewhere to escape from or to? How has moving away for college affected your relationship with this place?

Describe an experience of loss. Whether you lost someone you love, a pet, or even just a favorite sweater, we all experience these feelings in our own ways. What does loss mean to you?

17. Grandparents

Talking to our grandparents is one of the best ways to bridge gaps between generations. Talk to your grandparents about their experience in college or at your age. How does this compare to your own experience?

18. First job

What was your first job like? When did you receive your first paycheck, and what did this experience mean to you? If you’ve never worked a “real” job, what do you imagine it will be like? Describe a volunteer, academic, or professional experience. 

19. Future you

Write a memoir from the perspective of your future self. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? 20 years? How will this version of yourself look different? What will they have accomplished?

20. Failure

Though difficult to write about, it’s important to reflect on our weaknesses just as much as our strengths. Have you ever failed in your life? How did you move on from this, and what did you learn along the way?

Ideas for older adults

As someone with more life experience, there’s a lot of room to reflect as an older adult. Here are some ideas to get those creative juices flowing as you drift down memory lane. 

How exactly do you want to be remembered by friends and family? What have you accomplished that you’re most proud of, and how will this affect your legacy?

What is your favorite hobby? Describe your experience learning this hobby and becoming a part of the culture. How does it affect your day-to-day life?

23. Life’s passion

While most people have a variety of passions, try to define a single, key passion that defines your life. Limiting it to one helps you focus on what matters most. 

24. Historical event

Have you witnessed any historical events? Things like national disasters, wars, rights movements, and so on are all once-in-a-lifetime experiences. How did they affect you, and what is your perspective on these happenings?

25. Paradigm shift

Was there ever a moment where your point of view changed drastically? Did it stem from someone, something, or a single experience? Describe this moment. 

26. Trip abroad

If you’ve traveled abroad, write about your experience in a new place and surrounded by an unfamiliar culture. What do you remember the most? What lessons did you take with you back home?

What is your relationship with change? Is it something you welcome with open arms or run from? Evaluate how your relationship with change has adapted over time. 

28. Built a home

What does “home” mean to you? Is it the place you grew up or somewhere you built for yourself? Define what home means to you and how you’ve built your own home life. 

While your career isn’t everything, it does say something about you and the life you lead. How has your career affected your life, and what doors has it opened or closed?

30. Life story

Finally, consider sharing your entire life story. If you’re not sure where to start, try the beginning. Each of us has a story to tell, no matter how big or small. 

There are no one-size-fits-all questions for sparking your memoir topic. Follow these tips below to find the right fit for you. 

Writing time and experience

Before you begin, consider how much time you have to dedicate to writing. While writing your life story might be a great goal, this should only be attempted if you have the time to follow through. Otherwise, choose something with shorter writing requirements like sharing an experience. 

Brainstorm before you begin

If you’re not sure where to start, simply start brainstorming or journaling. Often you’ll find the answer in what you write here. What are you drawn to most naturally? Where do your thoughts focus the most? This is where your story lies. 

Choose multiple topics

There are no rules that you only have to stick to one memoir topic. You could write a series of essays that discuss many of the topics above. There is no need to worry about them fitting together perfectly. Life isn’t a highlight’s reel. It’s raw and imperfect, and that’s okay.

Sometimes, the hardest part about starting a memoir is just that: getting started. While you need to have a solid overarching story, you also need to make a strong impression on readers early on. Like all forms of writing and craftsmanship, this process can be intimidating. 

The good news is it’s okay to be messy, to make mistakes, and to figure it out as you go. For inspiration, follow these tips for starting your memoir. 

Start with action

While it’s tempting to start your memoir off with backstory or context, this doesn’t necessarily draw readers into the story. Instead, begin in the middle of the action. There will always be time for context and further explanations later. 

Engage your audience in the work from the first moment, grabbing the reader’s attention. Whether you begin at an important decision-making moment, on a trip abroad, or wrapped in a moment of passion, make every inch of the page count. 

Treat your reader like a friend

Spilling your truth on the page is no easy feat. Because a memoir is your own story, it’s normal to feel anxiety about letting these feelings out from deep inside. One helpful tip for starting your memoir is to treat the reader like a trusted friend. 

This is someone you confide in regularly, and you know you can trust them. They won’t meet you with judgment or confusion. They’re just present in the moment, listening to what you have to share. When you place your trust in the reader, they feel that trust as well. 

Borrow from fiction writers

While you don’t want to borrow elements of stories, borrow writing techniques from your favorite fiction writers. Who said nonfiction had to read like a textbook? The best memoirs all tell a story creatively, relying on traditional fiction techniques to paint the narrative. 

Just like with fiction, create a structure for your story. This includes a strong opening, middle, climax, and resolution. Even a truthful memoir needs a clear course for readers to follow. Take inspiration from other memoirs, fictional stories, and the tales that inspire you. What can you learn from other authors?

Write for yourself

Most importantly, write for yourself. Writing your own memoir can be a healing process. When you write your own stories, even if they’re never shared, you let go of this weight inside ourselves. 

While you shouldn’t look exclusively inward, don’t focus so much on the reader that you lose sight of yourself. Invite your reader into these real-life moments. Let them exist inside them for a little while, even if it’s only on borrowed time.

Above all, write the story you have to tell. Everyone has something inside of them that wants to be let out. Your memoir is an opportunity to share that truth with a blank page, even if this is something you don’t share with others. 

Start Writing Your Memoir

There’s nothing holding you back from writing your memoir. As long as you’re willing to put the words to paper, you can get started today. You don’t need any formal training or writing experience to get started. Memoirs are written by people from all backgrounds and walks of life. 

You don’t need to worry about your story being “good enough” or “exciting enough.” A true story is a worthy story, no matter how it’s told. Let these 30+ topics above be your guide. From there, the page is yours to explore.

Categories:

You may also like.

80+ Life Questions to Ask Yourself to Find Out Who You Are

50+ High School Bucket List Ideas for Before You Graduate

How to Write + Publish Your Life Story: Step-By-Step

List of 40 Essential Things to Learn Before You Die

The Complete Guide to Writing a Memoir

Writing your book doesn’t have to be a difficult, complex process..

Are you considering writing a memoir? You’re not alone. Many people want to share their life lessons and experiences through memoirs. However, writing a memoir can feel like a monumental task, especially when doing it alone. You need to navigate a whole world of design choices and printing options before your book finds its audience. Thankfully, self-published authors have abundant support and resources at their fingertips.

Palmetto Publishing is a comprehensive memoir-writing solution. We collaborate closely with authors to bring their literary dreams to life through tailored packages that include editing, cover design, formatting, distribution, printing, and more.

Despite the many tools available to help you publish a memoir, it can still be challenging — so if you’re wondering, “How do you write a memoir?” This guide is for you! It covers what a memoir is and isn’t and gives step-by-step instructions for writing a story people want to read. You’ll also learn more about how to publish a memoir and the options available to get it into your readers’ hands.

What is a Memoir?

A memoir is a personal narrative drawn from your life experiences. It tells the story of who you are, what shaped you, and the lessons you’ve learned. A memoir usually centers on a common theme and may focus on a specific period or challenge in the author’s life.

Memoirs are nonfiction, but the most engaging memoirs read more like novels. They recount events in vivid detail and convey strong emotional messages to the reader.

For example, in his Pulitzer-nominated memoir When Breath Becomes Air, author Paul Kalanithi recalls dealing with a terminal cancer diagnosis as a 36-year-old neurosurgery resident. In the best-selling memoir Educated, Tara Westover describes pursuing formal education after a minimally homeschooled childhood. Even Julius Caesar chronicled his journey in “Commentaries on the Gallic Wars,” dating back to around 50 BCE.

Some of the most insightful and impactful books ever published are memoirs. And some of the most life-changing true stories can compel even the most jaded reader. Autobiographies can be compelling, too, but memoirs are the personal stories that cut to the heart.

Memoir vs. Autobiography: What’s the Difference?

If you’re like many authors, you’ve asked yourself a fundamental question: isn’t a memoir just an autobiography?

Nope, they’re different.

While both share the idea of personal experiences, there are five key differences between the two.

An autobiography is a complete chronological account of the author’s life. It’s the who, what, when, where, why, and how of the author’s life journey. Memoirs, on the other hand, explore specific events or themes. They give authors more creative freedom and allow for subjective storytelling. The word “memoir” comes from the French term “memoire,” which means “memory.” This highlights the focus on personal recollection and interpretation.

Because autobiographies provide a chronological account of an author’s life, they’re more like panoramic images. They give a broad view of a person’s life while occasionally stopping to highlight key events and achievements. Memoirs are more like a snapshot in time, focusing on specific themes, experiences, or periods of the author’s life.

Autobiographies follow a linear structure, while memoirs often have a non-linear, fragmented approach. These structural differences can significantly alter the book’s narrative flow.

Another major distinction between memoirs and autobiographies is the emotional tone. Memoirs are full of emotions and create meaning from the past, while autobiographies typically have a more formal tone. Readers tend to connect with memoirs more personally because of the deep layers of emotion and meaning.

Readers who want factual information about an author are likelier to enjoy autobiographies. However, memoirs can attract readers who want personal connections or insights into an author’s life experiences.

Writing a Memoir Step-by-Step

You don’t have to be a bestselling author to write a memoir, but you’ll have an easier time writing if you’re purposeful in your approach. You’ll also craft a more successful book.

This step-by-step guide to writing a memoir will serve as your road map. Don’t worry about memorizing it — you can always bookmark this page or print it out for future reference. Right now, focus on visualizing your writing journey.

Step 1 Choose Your Theme

Memoir writers who get stuck usually have one thing in common. They sit down with the intent to “share their stories,” but they don’t have a clear focus. They try to say too much and go in too many different directions. This makes for a confusing book — or worse, an unfinished one.

A good way for a writer to start a memoir is to take the time to plan the theme. A well-crafted memoir needs a powerful, unifying theme to be engaging. A theme will give your memoir direction and help you choose the most impactful stories to include. Here are some questions to ask yourself before you begin writing memoirs.

• What emotions do I want to spark with my story?
• What message do I want to convey?
• What life lessons have I learned that others could benefit from?

Don’t worry if you can’t think of any unique or exciting life experiences. Some memoirs are powerful because they’re relatable to other “ordinary” people.

Maybe you’ve learned a lot from raising your children. Maybe you’ve learned important lessons from the relationships you’ve formed in your lifetime. These themes can make powerful and popular books.

Take the compelling memoir She Matters by Susanna Sonnenberg . This 2013 book focuses on the joy, pain, and power of female friendships. People of any gender can see their friendships in this book’s 304 pages. That’s what makes it powerful.

Step 2 Make a List of Anecdotes

Before you start actively writing a memoir, examine your ideas and identify the ones that strongly resonate with you and the theme of your book. Focus on choosing ideas that best serve the primary goal of a memoir: engaging in emotive storytelling. These chosen ideas are commonly known as anecdotes.

Anecdotes are brief, captivating narratives recounting real-life incidents or encounters. Often drawn from personal experiences, anecdotes illustrate or strengthen a discussion, speech, or book. Their purpose is to captivate the reader’s attention effectively.

Create a bulleted list, brainstorming web, or graphic to map out your anecdotes for your memoir. This approach will help you easily visualize and arrange the components in the most effective sequence to kickstart the writing process.

Step 3 Plan the Opening

Now that you have a list of anecdotes, it’s time to plan the opening. Your memoir’s opening is crucial because it sets the tone and hooks the reader from the very start. It’s your opportunity to make a lasting impression and convince readers to keep turning the pages. Here are some tips to help you write a captivating and engaging opening.

• Set the scene. Choose a captivating moment, scene, or event to draw readers into your story.
• Engage your readers from the first word. Your opening line should be attention-grabbing and leave the reader wanting more.
• Build emotion. Use vivid descriptions, details, and authentic emotions to create an experience that resonates with your audience.
• Open with a dramatic moment or a laugh. This can be an effective way to gain their interest and set the tone for the story that follows.
• Build trust with the reader. One of the best tips for memoir writing is to invite readers into your world and make them feel like they’re on your journey with you.

Step 4 Create an Outline

While the thought of writing thousands of words may seem overwhelming, these tips can ease you into the process and get you working through your first draft.

Write in manageable chunks. Break down your writing sessions into smaller, more achievable goals, aiming to write 500, 1,000, or 2,000 words daily. Dividing your work into smaller pieces can make memoir writing feel more manageable.

Create a writing schedule. Balancing writing with other commitments can take time and effort. Design a writing schedule that aligns with your existing responsibilities, helping you stay on track and accountable to completing your memoir.

Just write. Keep it simple. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself in the first draft. Remember, this is just the start, and it’s okay if your writing feels messy and disjointed. The key is to get your ideas down on paper. You can refine your writing later.

Step 5 Write Your Story

Once you have your story organized, start writing. The introduction to your memoir might flow easily at first, but many writers hit a roadblock when diving into the meat of the narrative. Don’t let this discourage you — stay confident in your story and crystal clear about the messages you want to convey.

You also don’t have to start at the beginning of your memoir. If you want to start with chapter four because it’s where you write about a life-changing moment, go for it. You have your outline to keep you on track, so trust it. This is the time to dive deeply into your story and make it as compelling as possible.

Here are some additional tips for writing a memoir that your audience will love.

Write Like a Novelist

The purpose of a memoir is very different from a novel. However, adopting a novelist’s approach can breathe life into your story. Novels engage people because they paint detailed pictures. You want readers to connect to your memoir in the same way. So, write it like fiction.

Most importantly, flesh out your “characters” — yes, they’re real people, but the reader doesn’t know them yet. Bring them to life and show the reader their mannerisms, appearance, and way of speaking.

The more vivid you are, the more readers will connect to the people in your story.

Show, Don’t Tell

This may be the most common advice in writing, but it bears repeating, especially for memoir writing. It’s easy to become the narrator of your life, but readers will engage more if they can see the scene unfold.

Instead of telling readers what happened, paint a picture. Imagine you’re watching a movie of your life and describing it. What did you see, hear, and do? Help the reader understand what it was like to live that experience.

Write Truthfully

When writing a memoir, it’s important to be honest and authentic. Don’t fictionalize events for the sake of drama or to build interest. Readers will connect with your story better if they sense your honesty on the page.

Add Others’ Related Stories

While your memoir is primarily about your own experiences, consider adding related stories from those involved in the events you’re writing about. This can add depth, context, and different perspectives to your story.

Get Vulnerable

Don’t hold back with memoir writing. To create a genuinely compelling and emotional story, be willing to be vulnerable and share your deepest thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Writing a memoir is an opportunity to connect with people on a personal level. Your readers will appreciate your courage.

Talk About How This Affects Your Life Today

Memoirs aren’t just recounts of past events — they’re also explorations of how those experiences have shaped and impacted your life now. When writing memoirs, think about how the events you’re writing about have influenced your worldviews, relationships, and personal growth. Doing so can add depth to your memoir.

Create an Emotional Journey

Writing a memoir involves taking the reader on an emotional journey. Use your words to evoke various emotions, such as joy, grief, fear, and everything in between. Create scenes that will resonate with readers personally and help them experience the emotional highs and lows of your story with you.

Step 6 Read and Edit

When you’re finished writing a memoir, it’s time to read and edit to minimize errors and make sure it tells your story exactly how you want. Here are some tips for editing.

Set Your Draft Aside

After you write the last word, put your manuscript aside for a few weeks. Taking a break from your memoir will help you gain some distance and perspective so you can approach the next revision with fresh eyes.

Make Sure It’s a Story You Would Enjoy Reading

After setting your book aside for a few weeks, come back to it and read it through from beginning to end. While going through each chapter, put yourself in the reader’s shoes and answer the following questions:

• Are the anecdotes captivating and enjoyable?
• Is there a clear message or lesson for the reader to grasp?
• Do the stories flow smoothly and contain the right amount of detail?
• Are there unnecessary distractions bogging them down?

Put Your Personality Into It

Make sure your unique personality and voice shine through in your story. Don’t be afraid to share your thoughts, feelings, and perspectives in a way that feels true to who you are. Embrace the characteristics and quirks that make you uniquely you.

Step 7 Have Someone Read It

Having other people read your book is an important step in any book-writing process . Authors are limited in how critical they can be of their own work, especially memoir writers. It’s the story of your life, and it’s impossible to read with a truly outside viewpoint.

After meticulously combing through your memoir, give it to someone else to read and review. Ask for feedback on spelling, grammar, and overall development. If possible, give it to someone with editing experience or a natural talent for writing to further refine your manuscript.

Once family and friends have read it, pass it along to an acquaintance, new friend, or stranger — someone who isn’t closely connected to you. Ask them to read it and tell you what worked, what didn’t, and what was confusing. While your story is your baby, accepting any constructive feedback is critical. These people could be your readers.

Now that your book has gone through several people for feedback, it’s time to pass your manuscript to a professional editor. This is where Palmetto Publishing comes in! Our experienced editors proofread and edit your manuscript, carefully reviewing its structure, tone, and textual flow to ensure a polished outcome. With a keen eye for detail, they can also thoroughly check for grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors, resulting in a professional, high-quality manuscript ready to be published and printed.

Examples of Memoirs

Frequently asked questions, what is memoir writing.

Writing a memoir involves creating a story centered around your personal experiences, memories, and life events. It lets you, as the writer, explore specific moments, relationships, or themes from your life through an introspective lens.

What are the five parts of a memoir?

• Exposition: Introduces the setting, characters, and central theme.
• Rising action: Where the story builds tension and conflict.
• Climax: The moment with the most tension and drama, where the central conflict reaches maximum intensity.
• Falling action: Where the results of the climax take place.
• Resolution: Provides closure, personal growth, and transformation.

How do you begin to write a memoir?

Start by writing down any interesting personal experiences, relationships, or themes around which to focus your story. Then, brainstorm pivotal moments, vivid memories, and meaningful events to add to your memoir. Finally, create a loose outline to structure your story.

How can I combat writer’s block when writing a memoir?

• Try freewriting to get your thoughts flowing.
• Change your writing environment or routine to spark new inspiration.
• Try sensory exercises, like recalling certain sights, smells, or sounds from your experiences.
• Explore different writing prompts or exercises.
• Take a break and return to your writing with fresh eyes.

How to Publish a Memoir

You’ve poured your heart and soul into writing your memoir, meticulously planning, writing, and refining it to perfection. If your ultimate goal is to share your story with the world, your next step involves delving into the publishing world.

Publishing is the production and distribution of your book to the public for sale. There are two main paths you can take: Traditional and Self-Publishing.

Traditional Publishing

Many memoir writers dream of releasing their books through major publishing houses. Getting a book deal does come with bragging rights, but the reality is that many memoir writers will never have the opportunity.

Memoirs are hard sells for publishers, especially if you’re an unknown author. You might find a publisher who believes in your story, but there’s no guarantee. There’s a good chance the road will be paved with rejections. In fact, the Fiction Writer’s Mentor says that publishers accept only about 1% to 2% of manuscripts — and that includes manuscripts from proven authors. If your goal is to share your story with the world, self-publishing is a much stronger option.

Self-Publish With Palmetto Publishing

Self-publishing doesn’t have to be a solo journey. Palmetto Publishing is here to help with everything your memoir needs, including:

• Book interior formatting and cover design
• Book editing
• Book printing and marketing

As a top publisher, Palmetto offers professional book design services that give your memoir a polished look. From the book title page to the back cover, we’ll make sure it’s something you can be proud of.

We even offer book layout help and a user-friendly book layout guide. By the time you’re ready for book marketing, everything about your memoir looks professional. If you’re interested in writing a memoir, drop us a line — even if you haven’t started writing it yet. We know you have a powerful story inside you, and we’re ready to help you share it.

More Resources

Our Process

The Ultimate Guide to Self-Publishing

Cover Design

Illustrations

Interior Formatting

Book Marketing

Book Distribution

Audiobook Publishing

Start Your Publishing Journey

• Do you have a manuscript ready?* * Do you have a manuscript ready?* Yes, I'm ready to publish today Yes, I'll be ready to publish in 1 to 3 months Yes, I'll be ready to publish in 3 to 6 months Yes, I'll be ready to publish in 6 to 12 months No, I do not have a book or manuscript ready
• What type of book do you plan on publishing? * What type of book do you plan on publishing? Business Biography Inspirational Non-Fiction How-To Autobiography/Memoir Self-Help Children's Spiritual/Religious Fiction Art/Photography Cookbook Other
• Name * First Last
• Zip Code * Please enter a number from 00000 to 99999 .

Submitting your information indicates that you have read our privacy policy and give us permission to call, email, and send text messages.

• Phone This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

How to Write a Memoir: 12 Steps to Tell an Engaging Story.

• By Samyuktha Jayanty
• Updated on April 11, 2023

“A memoir provides a record not so much of the memoirist as of the memoirist’s world.” ―  Arthur Golden, Memoirs of Geisha.

According to Google, a historical account or biography written from personal knowledge is called a memoir.

It consists of the critical moments in your entire life that has made you who you are today. Your life’s events in a story-like structure with a written message qualify as a memoir. Dreams From My Father by Barack Obama is an example. Other books like “how to…” “motivational books,” do not qualify as a memoir.

Definition of a Memoir

A memoir is a historical written with personal knowledge and experience covering the lifetime of an individual, usually with a higher purpose or message. The word memoir comes from the French word mémoire, meaning memory or reminiscence.

Becoming by Michelle Obama is the most recent and famous example of a memoir. There have been many literary giants, politicians, celebrities who have forayed into writing a memoir.

From A Moveable Feast By Ernest Hemingway to the popular Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert are varied examples of memoirs.

The genre memoir is similar to an autobiography since it talks about events in one’s life and. But they’re not

How is Memoir different from an Autobiography?

A reader or aspiring writer might get confused with these two genres as both memoir and autobiography broadly belong to the category of nonfiction. But there are stark differences.

A memoir is a genre that usually covers one aspect of a writer’s life, while an autobiography is the chronological account of the writer’s entire life.

If you are thinking about writing your entire life’s story from the day you were born till where you are today, it would be autobiographical.

If you want to share a profound message with the world through your life’s experiences, you’re writing a memoir.

A memoir is a creative non-fiction book. But with memoir, it is less formal and doesn’t encompass the whole life journey of a person. It aims at bringing the emotional truth of that particular phase of a person’s life.

Gore Vidal, in his memoir, Palimpsest, defines two genres by saying, “ a memoir is how one remembers one’s own life, while an autobiography is history, requiring research, dates, facts double-checked. ”

What are the Types of Memoir

A memoir is the most popular creative non-fiction in the present day. There are sub-genres to it for better understanding, and often the boundaries of these sub-genres blur as the readership evolves. The broad types of memoirs are:

1. Childhood & Coming of Age –

The writer talks about their childhood, growing up years, family dynamics, and the struggles they had to go through in it. The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls and I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou are prominent examples.

2. Life Experiences –

In this sub-genre, one writes about life experiences that have shaped them. It can include personal journeys, professional life, love and loss, diseases and trauma, and more. These life experiences are a reservoir of inspiring stories. It Sucked and Then I Cried by Heather Armstrong, Truth & Beauty by Ann Patchett, and Reading Lolita in Tehran by AzarNafisi fall into this category.

3. Travel Memoirs –

It includes a person’s travel to single or multiple destinations. Themes like transformation, new experiences in a strange city, and soul-searching are a part of this subgenre. Wild by Cheryl Strayed and Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert are prominent examples.

4. Spiritual Memoirs –

Spirituality and religion have been an essential aspect of human history. Hence, becoming a fertile topic for any memoirist. The writer’s experiences with religion, discovering a new faith, and spiritual journeys fall within this category. 90 Minutes in Heaven by Don Piper and Unorthodox by Deborah Feldman are remarkable books of this sub-genre.

5. Survivor Memoirs –

It is the survival story of a person. It can be an accident or conflict they’ve overcome, living in the time of tragic war, or any traumatic experiences an individual has survived. Night by ElieWiesel and Into the Wild by John Krakauer fall into this category.

Why Write a Memoir?

A memoir is a personal journey delving into the self. This is probably the main reason as to why people write a memoir. While writing a memoir, a person talks about their struggles, failures, love, fears, and innermost emotions for people to read. The personal story not only helps to find yourself but also enlightens the reader.

Steps to Write a Memoir

Before you begin the writing process, it is also crucial to decide on the ideal writing software to write your memoir. There are many options available for you, so wisely choose one that you are comfortable with.

The process is almost similar like writing non-fiction books . Since it is a more personal account, the research is majorly from your journey itself. It can be a tough task to write a memoir. How do you even sum up years’ worth of experience into words? Let us have an understanding on how to write a memoir. These elements will help you with the process.

1. Pick A Theme

A memoir consists of message readers can take away from what you wrote. Think about what your readers will learn from your experiences. Will they learn, gain, or realize anything from your writing? What is your main message? Ask your self these questions before you pick a theme.

2. Create A List Of Memories

The first thing to do after picking a theme is to create a list of your memories. Don’t try to force yourself into finding all the details of the memories. Give it some time, and it will come to you when you begin writing.

Here are some areas to help jog your memory:

• Primary school
• Your teen years
• Parents/ siblings/ family
• High school
• Your dreams
• Aspirations
• Children/ grandkids
• Resentments

You can also look at old photos and videos to recollect your memories. It’s always best to relive them.

All these areas influence on how you perceive life. All you gotta do is a little digging to jolt some specific memories for your memoir.

3. Ask Yourself Questions 

After creating a list of memories, asking a specific question about each memory can be an easy way to write the content. Here is the type of questions that can help you write a memoir :

• What is the starting moment of this story?
• What did I want most at the time of these memories?
• Which is the moment where I definitely get, don’t get?
• What is the lesson I learned?

4. How To Start

A strong introduction will go a long way. The opening lines will set the tone and context of the story you are about to narrate. An exciting and strong beginning will set the expectations of the readers, and without it, the ability to hook them will be difficult.

5. Message Must Be Clear

What is it you’re trying to say? Why did you want to start writing the memoir at all? It’s your job to determine how your experiences can aid and affect others. The content in your book should be understandable for the reader

6. Add Others’ Stories

The memoir you’re writing is about your life, which means it is also about the lives of people in your life. At times, you can’t get the message across if only you have experienced it. To make your readers related to your memoir more, you need to make them understand that many people have experienced the same thing.

Showing your readers that other people have experienced the same thing and resulted in the same perspective as you can be a good thing.

To write about others, you need to do a lot of research. Make sure you’re using their experiences legally in your memoir.

You can also interview family and friends who see the same experience as you differently.

These details help strengthen your core message.

7. Be Honest 

“I will say, with memoir, you must be honest. You must be truthful.”

– Elie Wiesel (A Romanian born, American writer & Nobel laureate)

Being biased towards our self while writing a memoir is a habit one must overcome. No-ones likes to admit their fault. It’s human nature for everyone to show the best version of themselves to people, but that doesn’t make a good memoir.

If you want people to be touched

8. Be Descriptive  

You have to be descriptive if you want your readers to be intrigued by what you wrote. Creating intrigue with your writing is a must for a memoir.

Being descriptive lets you narrate your experience with an emphasis on emotion, but at the same time, don’t write every feeling you felt at a specific time.

• Use fewer words like I heard, I smelled, I saw , etc.
• Stop explaining the emotions and try to be more descriptive (if you want to say you’re happy, describe how you’re floating on cloud 9, and you can’t stop smiling)
• Describe body language in detail.
• Use strong verbs that create more impact ( crashed to the floor > fell to the floor).

9. Be Vulnerable

“In my blinding drive to excel, in my need to do things perfectly, I’d missed the signs and taken the wrong road.”

-Michelle Obama, Becoming.

Don’t be an alien to your feelings when writing your memoir. This is the time to dig deep and show the world what kind of author you are. The more you shield yourself, the less effective your memoir is.

A good memoirist is aware of their vulnerabilities and doesn’t shy away from expressing it all. More profound stories come from vulnerable places and choices.

At first, you might find it hard to write about your true self, but later, you’ll understand it’s all for a good cause.

10. Make Connections

Every story you tell has to connect to your focus, but not all of them directly relate to it. Some experiences may have led you to moments of realization, and those moments would have led to other events.

Then tie these events to the main message you want readers to gain.

Experiences —> Moments of realization

11. Talk About Now

Memoirs usually consist of looking back at your life and evaluating how you made it today. The events that lead you to where you are today.

Your memoir should also consist of sneak peeks of your life presently.

Bring back your readers to the present day in each chapter and how it affected you.

A memoir indicates that it’s 100% you. Your memoir should be proof of your real personality. When a reader reads it, they should see the authentic you and not just what you want them to know about you. Don’t be afraid to write how you speak.

If you tell jokes, use cuss words, or use a few phrases regularly, write it. Italicize words you emphasize when speaking.

5 Things to Avoid If You Want Your Memoir To Sell

• Not engaging the readers –  As a memoirist, it is your prime responsibility to get the readers invested in your story. As it was mentioned earlier, memoir is a book of nonfiction, but it is not a personal journal nevertheless. So, write the memoir using the narrative styles of fiction to engage and entertain them.
• Reliving your experiences –  If you’re writing about your traumatic experience as part of your therapy or recovery, it’s probably a bad idea to publish it.
• Consists collection of entries from a diary or journal you or a family member kept, or letters sent and received –  Use these for research, not as a story itself. If you do use them, use it sparingly with a bigger narrative of the book.
• Your memoir is not an autobiography –  Don’t start with the day you were born and include all the people and places in your life. It then, in turn, becomes autobiographical. A good memoir is a representation of the writer’s memory and not history.
• Writing for someone else –  This is pretty self-explanatory. As I said, a memoir has to be in-depth and should involve your feelings. You can’t write for someone else as you don’t know their feelings.

These steps will help you write an engaging memoir. What are you waiting for? Start writing about your life’s memorable journey.

• eBook Formatting Services
• Book Cover Design Service
• Print Book Formatting Services
• eBook Conversion Services

How to Write Your Memoir: A 5-Step Guide

Memoir is not just a fancy literary term for an autobiography. I say that from the start, because I so often hear the terms incorrectly interchanged.

Your memoir will be autobiographical, of course, but it can’t be about you.

Confused yet? Stay with me.

You may have heard both of these genres associated with creative nonfiction .

• What is Creative Nonfiction?

The term can seem confusing, but it’s all about telling a compelling true story while using the same kinds of elements found in good fiction to make it sing.

Creative Nonfiction is a term that can be applied to a wide array of genres,  including memoir, autobiography, biography, travel writing, personal essays, interviews, blogs, and more. Actually, it should be characteristic of almost any form of nonfiction.

In many ways, Creative Nonfiction reads like fiction while sticking to the facts. It allows you to tell a true story in a most compelling way by employing narrative elements like foreshadowing, backstory, dialog, conflict, tension, description, and more.

Such elements aren’t in themselves fictional. Your story remains absolutely true, but such tools enhance the reading experience.

Some nonfiction is designed primarily to educate and inform (think textbooks, how-to books, or self-help books), but would argue that even these can benefit from Creative Nonfiction techniques. Why not build a narrative that helps readers best relate to the content and become immersed in it?

Memoirs (from the French and Latin for “memory” or “remembrance”) by definition focus on your personal experience, intimacy with the reader, and reflecting both transferable principles and universal emotional truth.

That’s why, ironic as it may sound, a memoir should be as much about the reader as the writer. Yes, it’s your story, based on your experience, but unless readers see a bit of themselves in it, what’s the point? You will have written a book that is merely about something, rather than for the purpose of something.

So what can Creative Nonfiction bring to your memoir? Resonance. Relatability. Accessibility.

And how will it manifest itself? By triggering the theater of the readers’ minds so they can feel the story, imagine themselves in it, experience it with you.

Most importantly, convey your emotional truth . Show how your experiences, challenges, and lessons learned made you feel, how you coped, and the impact they had on your personal or spiritual growth.

• Autobiography vs. Memoir: What’s the Difference?

An autobiography is your life story from birth to the present.

A memoir is theme-oriented with anecdotes from your life that buttress a specific theme .

Too many authors write a memoir because they believe their lives are so interesting that even strangers would enjoy a detailed account .

Don’t misunderstand — maybe you are interesting.

All of us are, to some degree. I know hardly anyone who doesn’t have a story.

But unless you’re a celebrity, sorry but most people beyond your family and close friends aren’t likely to care.

They care about themselves and how your personal story might somehow benefit them.

So your theme must be reader-oriented, offering universal truth, transferable principles that will help them become a better person or get them through whatever crisis they might be facing.

The closest I have come to writing my own memoir, Writing for the Soul , uses selected anecdotes about famous and interesting people I’ve met to illustrate points I make about writing.

Had I merely written an autobiography and not offered writing instruction, it would’ve been largely ignored.

• Should You Write a Memoir?

While you don’t have to be famous to write a great memoir, you must tell a story that educates, entertains, and emotionally moves the reader.

You may write a memoir without intending to traditionally publish it. You might write it for only your family and friends.

I’m here to help, regardless your reason for writing your memoir.

• What Should Your Memoir Be About?

Your memoir should draw on anecdotes from your life to show how you progressed from some unlikely place to where you are today.

In that way, it’s about you, but it’s for the benefit of the reader.

Maybe you’re:

• From the other side of the tracks
• From a broken home
• A victim of abuse
• A recovered addict

Yet you have achieved:

• Financial security

You might start with how bad things once were for you and how unlikely it was that you would escape your situation.

Then you would show pivotal experiences and people important to your transformation, what you learned, and how your life changed.

Naturally, the better your stories and the more significant your change (in fiction, we call this a character arc ), the better your memoir.

However, great stories are not the point — and frankly, neither is the memoir writer (you).

The point is reader takeaway.

Readers should be able to apply to themselves and their own situations the larger truths and principles your theme imparts.

That way, you don’t have to awkwardly try to apply your message to them. Ideally, they’ll do that for themselves.

They may be enduring something entirely different from what you did, yet your story gives them hope.

• What Publishers Look For

Don’t buy into the idea that only famous people can sell a memoir. Sure, they might be able to get away with a recitation of their daily routines, because people are interested in the minutiae of the famous.

But memoirs by the largely unknown succeed for one reason: they resonate because readers identify with them.

Truth, especially the hard, gritty, painful stuff, bears that universal truth and those transferable principles I mentioned above.

Candor and self-revelation attracts readers, and readers are what publishers want .

Astute agents or publishers’ acquisitions editors recognize how relatable a memoir will be.

Agents and editors tell me they love to discover such gems — the same way they love discovering the next great novelist.

The key is a compelling story told with creative writing.

So, when writing your memoir…

Remember, you’re the subject, but it’s not really about you.

It may seem counterintuitive to think reader-first while writing in first person about yourself, but readers long to be changed by your story.

Give them insight about life through your experiences. Give them the tools they need to overcome their own struggles, even if they’re not at all like yours. Give them a model for overcoming.

Couch it in entertaining, educational, and emotional stories, and they’ll not only stay with you till the last page, but they’ll also recommend your memoir to their friends.

• How to Write a Memoir
• Settle On Your Theme
• Select Your Anecdotes
• Outline Your Book
• Write It Like a Novel
• Avoid Throwing People Under the Bus

Step 1. Settle On Your Theme

Your unstated theme must be, “You’re not alone. If I overcame this, you can overcome anything.”

That’s what appeals to readers. Even if they do come away from your memoir impressed with you, it won’t be because you’re so special — even if you are. Whether they admit it or not, readers care most about themselves.

They’re reading your memoir wondering, What’s in this for me? The more transferable principles you offer in a story well told, the more successful your book will be .

Cosmic Commonalities

All people, regardless of age, ethnicity, location, and social status, share certain felt needs: food, shelter, and love. They fear abandonment, loneliness, and the loss of loved ones. Regardless of your theme, if it touches on any of those needs and fears, readers can identify.

I can read the memoir of someone of my opposite gender, for whom English is not her first language, of a different race and religion, who lives halfway around the world from me — and if she writes of her love for her child or grandchild, it reaches me.

Knowing or understanding or relating to nothing else about her, I understand the love of family.

How to Write a Memoir Without Preaching

Trust your narrative to convey your message. Too many memoir writers feel the need to eventually turn the spotlight on the reader with a sort of “So, how about you…?”

Let your experiences and how they impacted you make their own points, and trust the reader to get it. Beat him over the head with your theme and you run him off.

You can avoid being preachy by using what I call the Come Alongside Method. Show what happened to you and what you learned, and if the principles apply to your readers, give them credit for being smart enough to get it.

Step 2. Select Your Anecdotes

The best memoirs let readers see themselves in your story so they can identify with your experiences and apply the lessons you’ve learned to their own lives.

If you’re afraid to mine your pain deeply enough to tell the whole truth, you may not be ready to write your memoir. There’s nothing a little less helpful — or marketable — than a memoir that glosses over the truth.

So, feature the anecdotes from your life that support your theme, regardless how painful it is to resurrect the memories. The more introspective and vulnerable you are, the more effective your memoir will be.

Create a list of events in your life and their impact on you. These may be major events like a war, your parents’ divorce, a graduation, a wedding, or the loss of a dear friend or relative.

But they may also be seemingly mundane life events that for some reason affected you deeply. Just make sure they support your theme.

Who is unforgettable and what role did they play in making you the person you’ve become?

Interview family and friends for different perspectives. Peruse photographs, revisit meaningful places, research dates, the weather, and relevant history.

Step 3. Outline Your Book

Without a clear vision, trying to write a memoir will likely end in disaster. There’s no substitute for an outline .

Potential agents or publishers require in your proposal a synopsis of where you’re going, and they also need to know that you know.

One that changed the course of my writing career is novelist Dean Koontz ’s Classic Story Structure, spelled out in his classic How to Write Bestselling Fiction . Though obviously intended as a framework for a novel , I discovered it applies perfectly to almost any genre (including TV sitcoms, if you can believe it).

And fortunately, for the purposes of my subject today, Koontz’s classic story structure serves a memoir beautifully too.

Here it is in a nutshell:

• Plunge your main character into terrible trouble as soon as possible
• Everything he does to try to get out of it makes it only progressively worse until…
• His situation appears hopeless
• But in the end, because of what he’s learned and how he’s grown through all those setbacks, he rises to the challenge and wins the day.

You might be able to structure your memoir the same way merely by how you choose to tell the story. As I say, don’t force things, but the closer you can get to that structure , the more engaging your memoir will be.

For your memoir, naturally, you’re the main character.

And the Terrible Trouble would be the nadir of your life . (If nadir is a new word for you, it’s the opposite of zenith .)

Take the reader with you to your lowest point, and show what you did to try to remedy things.

But what about that “as soon as possible” caveat?

Maybe your terrible trouble didn’t manifest itself until later in life.

Fine, start there. The backstory can emerge as you progress, but you’ll find his structure and sequencing will make for the most compelling read.

Important in fiction as well as in a memoir is to be sure your reader is invested in the main character enough to care when he is plunged into terrible trouble.

While in fiction that means some hint of the stakes — he’s a husband, a father, has suffered some loss, etc. If that’s also true of you, subtly inject it.

Also in a memoir, you want to promise a good outcome, some form of your own wonder at who you are now compared to who you once were or destined to be. That way, readers can take from your story that things can dramatically change for the better in their lives too.

One of the reasons this structure works so well in fiction is because it’s often true in real life.

If you’ve become a successful, happy person despite an unfortunate background, it’s likely that you tried many times to fix things, only to see them deteriorate until you developed the ability to break through.

All Koontz and I are saying is to emphasize that .

Keep your outline to a single page for now.

Then develop a synopsis with a sentence or two of what each chapter will cover.

Write this in the present tense. “I enroll in college only to find that…”

And don’t worry if you’ve forgotten the basics of classic outlining or have never felt comfortable with the concept.

It doesn’t have to be rendered in Roman numerals and capital and lowercase letters and then numerals, unless that serves you best.

Just a list of sentences that synopsize your idea works fine, too.

And remember, it’s a fluid document meant to serve you and your book. Play with it, rearrange it as you see fit — even during the writing.

Step 4. Write It Like a Novel

It’s as important in a memoir as it is in a novel to show and not just tell .

My father was a drunk who abused my mother and me. I was scared to death every time I heard him come in late at night.

As soon as I heard the gravel crunch beneath the tires, I dove under my bed.

I could tell by his footsteps whether Dad was sober and tired or loaded and looking for a fight.

I prayed God would magically make me big enough to jump between him and my mom, because she was always his first target…

Use every tool in the novelist’s arsenal to make each anecdote come to life: dialogue , description, conflict , tension , pacing, everything.

These will make sure you grab your readers’ attention and keep it — because these tools ensure that they’ll become engrossed in your story.

Worry less about chronology than theme.

You’re not married to the autobiographer’s progressive timeline.

Tell whatever anecdote fits your point for each chapter, regardless where they fall on the calendar.

Just make the details clear so the reader knows where you are in the story .

You might begin with the most significant memory of your life, even from childhood.

Then you can segue into something like, “Only now do I understand what was really happening.” Your current-day voice can always drop in to tie things together.

Character Arc

As in a novel, how the protagonist (in this case, you) grows is critical to a successful story. Your memoir should make clear the difference between who you are today and who you once were. What you learn along the way becomes your character arc .

Point of View

It should go without saying that you write a memoir in the first person . And just as in a novel, the point-of-view character is the one with the problem, the challenge, something he’s after. Tell both your outer story (what happens) and your inner story (its impact on you).

Setups and Payoffs

Great novels carry a book-length setup that demands a payoff in the end, plus chapter-length setups and payoffs, and sometimes even the same within scenes. The more of these the better.

The same is true for your memoir. Virtually anything that makes the reader stay with you to find out what happens is a setup that demands a payoff. Even something as seemingly innocuous as your saying that you hoped high school would deliver you from the torment of junior high makes the reader want to find out if that proved true.

Make ‘em Wait

Avoid using narrative summary to give away too much information too early. I’ve seen memoir manuscripts where the author tells in the first paragraph how they went from abject poverty to independent wealth in 20 years, “…and I want to tell you how that happened.”

To me, that takes the air right out of the tension balloon.

Many readers would agree and see no reason to continue reading.

Better to set them up for a payoff and let them wait.

Not so long that you lose them to frustration, but long enough to build tension.

Step 5. Avoid Throwing People Under the Bus

If you’re brave enough to expose your own weaknesses, foibles, embarrassments, and yes, even your failures to the world, what about your friends, enemies, loved ones, teachers, bosses, and coworkers?

If you tell the truth, are you allowed to throw them under the bus?

In some cases, yes.

But should you?

Even if they gave you permission in writing, what’s the upside?

Usually a person painted in a negative light — even if the story is true — would not sign a release allowing you to expose them publicly.

But even if they did, would it be the right, ethical, kind thing to do?

All I can tell you is that I wouldn’t do it. And I wouldn’t want it done to me.

If the Golden Rule alone isn’t reason enough not to do it, the risk of being sued certainly ought to be.

So, What to Do?

On one hand, I’m telling you your memoir is worthless without the grit. On the other, I’m telling you not to expose the evildoers.

Stalemate? No.

Here’s the solution:

Changing names to protect the guilty is not enough. Too many people in your family and social orbit will know the person, making your writing legally actionable.

So change more than just the name.

Change the location. Change the year. Change their gender. You could even change the offense .

If your own father verbally abused you so painfully when you were thirteen that you still suffer from the memory decades later, attribute it to a teacher and have it happen at an entirely different age.

Is that lying in a nonfiction book? Not if you include a disclaimer upfront that stipulates: “Some names and details have been changed to protect identities.”

So, no, don’t throw anyone under the bus. But don’t stop that bus!

• Common Memoir Mistakes

Making it too much like an autobiography

Memoirs aren’t a chronological history of everything that’s happened in your life. Make sure your theme is strong, compelling, and reader-focused. If the stories you include don’t speak to your theme, cut them.

Including minutiae

Use only the details that matter. Have a large family or circle of friends, only a few of whom were critical to your outcome? Leave most of them out. Avoid describing day-to-day experiences or descriptions unless they directly relate to your theme.

Your memoir isn’t the place for touting your achievements. You’ll turn readers off. Describe your challenges and emotional truths authentically. Own your successes but stay humble. Memoir is about the journey more than the destination.

Glossing over the truth

Writing a memoir will challenge you emotionally. It can be hard to revisit tough times or traumatic experiences — but unless you tell the whole truth, your readers won’t be able to relate and your story will fall flat.

How can you avoid sounding preachy or overbearing in your writing? Look for any time you use the words “must,” “should,” “ought,” or “have to,” and then find ways to reword your sentences using the Come Alongside Method to encourage, inspire, or suggest instead.

Affecting the wrong tone

Your memoir isn’t a place to be flippant, sarcastic, or condescending. You can be lighthearted at times, but use humor judiciously. Don’t try to cover up your emotional truth with lame jokes. Your story won’t feel authentic and your readers will lose interest.

• How to Start Your Memoir

Start slowly by setting the stage or explaining family dynamics and you’ll soon lose your reader’s attention.

Hook your reader from page one by beginning in medias res — in the middle of things. That doesn’t mean it has to be slam-bang action, but something must be happening.

Not sure exactly where to start ? No problem.

You don’t have to know the best beginning for your book in order to start writing — and you shouldn’t procrastinate indefinitely until you figure it out.

Instead, many memoir writers only discover their strongest potential opening as a last step. Decide what stories you’ll include, write those, and choose the best one once you see what you have to work with.

• Memoir Examples

Thoroughly immerse yourself in this genre before attempting to write in it. I read nearly 50 memoirs before I wrote mine ( Writing for the Soul ). Here’s a list to get you started:

• All Over But the Shoutin’ by Rick Bragg (my favorite book ever)

The Pulitzer Prize winning New York Times reporter tells the story of growing up dirt poor in Alabama with a father who had a “murderous temper” and a mother who went 18 years without a new dress to make sure her kids had a better life.

• Cultivate by Lara Casey

Part inspiration and part practical guide, Lara’s insight helps women who feel “inadequate, overwhelmed, and exhausted” to find grace through cultivating what matters most.

• A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway

One of Hemingway’s most beloved books, this memoir provides a fascinating snapshot of his life as a writer in 1920s Paris.

• Out of Africa by Karen Blixen

Modern Library named this classic book, written in 1937, as one of the 100 best nonfiction books of all time. In it, Karen describes her experiences running a coffee farm with her husband in Kenya in 1914.

• Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt

The history of Frank McCourt’s “miserable Irish Catholic childhood” and how stories helped him to survive slums and starvation and ultimately thrive as a professional storyteller.

• Still Woman Enough by Loretta Lynn

In a much anticipated follow-up to her first memoir, Coal Miner’s Daughter , Loretta tells the story of the second half of her life. She writes about the stresses of fame and candidly discusses her often turbulent relationship with the husband she married at age 13.

• Born Standing Up by Steve Martin

A moving and insightful look into one of the greatest comedians ever — including Steve’s creative process, his incredible work ethic, and why he walked away during the height of his career.

• The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

Didion’s story of marriage, family life, and unexpected tragedy will touch anyone who’s ever loved and lost a spouse or child.

• This Boy’s Life by Tobias Wolff

After divorce splits his family, a young Toby Woolf runs away to Alaska, forges checks, and steals cars — then redefines his life.

• Molina by Benjie Molina and Joan Ryan

The story of a father who raised 3 famous major league baseball catchers and left a legacy of “loyalty, humility, courage, and the true meaning of success.”

• Undone by Michele Cushatt

Michele’s story of divorce, cancer, and integrating a new family shows readers how embracing faith and letting go of the need to control can lead to a vibrant life despite chaos and messiness.

• Will the Circle Be Unbroken? By Sean Dietrich

Sean’s story of love, loss, and the unthinkable gives readers hope for a future that breaks the destructive cycles of previous generations.

• Turn Your Life Story Into a Captivating Memoir

If you’ve ever thought about writing a memoir (or wondered if you should even try), you now have everything you need.

Think about your theme. What have you learned that could help others? How will you tell your stories to inspire your readers and change lives?

Brush up on the 7 essential story elements to make sure your memoir is as relatable as possible.

And once you’re ready to get started, head over to How to Outline a Nonfiction Book in 5 Steps .

Are You Making This #1 Amateur Writing Mistake?

Faith-Based Words and Phrases

What You and I Can Learn From Patricia Raybon

Before you go, be sure to grab my FREE guide:

How to Write a Book: Everything You Need to Know in 20 Steps

Just tell me where to send it:

A Trusted Friend in a Complicated World

RD.COM Work & Career

How to Write Your Memoir

By Joe Kita

Updated: Dec. 15, 2022

Thinking about your legacy? Wondering how to achieve a small measure of immortality? Write a memoir.

“I was terrified,” says Walls. “I had this great life, a husband who loved me, a great job, a house with flush toilets, yet I felt like a fraud. I had a compulsion to write about this embarrassing stuff even though I knew I was risking everything.”

Walls made false starts on her memoir four times over 20 years, on each occasion growing so frustrated and fearful that she threw out the entire manuscript. Finally, when she was 44, The Glass Castle was published. It’s been on the New York Times bestseller list for almost three years, has sold more than two million copies, has been translated into 23 languages, and will soon be a movie.

“One of the lessons I’ve learned from writing this memoir is how much we all have in common,” says Walls. “So many of us think that certain things only happened to us and somehow they make us less of a person. I’m constantly urging people, especially older folks, to write about their lives. It gives you new perspective. It was hugely eye-opening for me and very cathartic. Even if the book hadn’t sold a single copy, it would still have been worth it.”

Special Offer: How to write your memoir in 30 days, a new book from Reader’s Digest  »

You don’t need to have had a hardscrabble youth in order to write a memoir. You don’t need eccentric parents. Believe it or not, you don’t need anything dramatic. And you certainly don’t have to publish it. Consider this exchange that Frank McCourt, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author of Angela’s Ashes and other memoirs, had with a skeptical student: “Mr. McCourt, you’re lucky,” the author recounts in Teacher Man . “You had that miserable childhood, so you have something to write about. What are we gonna write about? All we do is get born, go to school, go on vacation, go to college, fall in love or something, graduate and go into some kind of profession, get married, have the 2.3 kids you’re always talking about, send the kids to school, get divorced like 50 percent of the population, get fat, get the first heart attack, retire, die.”

“Jonathan,” McCourt replied, “that is the most miserable scenario of American life I’ve heard in a high school classroom. But you’ve supplied the ingredients for the great American novel. You’ve encapsulated the novels of Theodore Dreiser, Sinclair Lewis, F. Scott Fitzgerald.”

In other words, 99.9 percent of people lead boring lives. But every single one of them is trying to make some sense out of his or her existence, to find some meaning in the world, and therein lies the value and opportunity of memoir. It’s therapeutic for the writer, and it eventually even helps his or her descendants understand themselves better.

“Memoir is about handing over your life to someone and saying, This is what I went through, this is who I am, and maybe you can learn something from it,” says Walls. “It’s honestly sharing what you think, feel, and have gone through. If you can do that effectively, then somebody gets the wisdom and benefit of your experience without having to live it.”

Writing about your life is also about coming to a fresh understanding of it at an age when you probably think you know yourself pretty well. Novelist Stephen King has said, “I write to find out what I think.” He means that until you set an experience down on paper, until you ponder the perfect words to describe it, you can’t fully appreciate or understand it. Threading related experiences together, you see a pattern in the quilt of your existence. It’s about creating a legacy that doesn’t have dollar signs in front of it but has far greater residual value for family and friends.

There are as many different types of memoir as there are people. Like Walls and McCourt, you can write about your childhood. You can write about places you’ve visited, as Elizabeth Gilbert did in the blockbuster memoir The Camel Knows the Way , which chronicles her time with Mother Teresa and the Missionaries of Charity. You can write about a crime or injustice you encountered, as Mary-Ann Tirone Smith did in Girls of Tender Age , which traces the murder of a classmate. You can write a memoir about anything, no matter how small or seemingly inconsequential. Everybody has stories shelved in his or her subconscious, awaiting translation.

The challenge is getting started, coaxing the story out. (Indeed, there are those who say beginning is half done.) Since there is inherent worth to the endeavor beyond public acclaim, you don’t have to be a professional writer or someone with connections in publishing to succeed. You can write it for yourself.

5 Tips for Starting Your Memoir

1. Write memoir, not autobiography. An autobiography is the story of an entire life, but a memoir is just one story from that life. You can only ever write one autobiography, but you can write countless memoirs. It’s a much less intimidating project if you view it that way.

2. Diagram your life. Some people have one burning story to tell. Others find it difficult to immediately pinpoint anything. Tristine Rainer, author of Your Life as Story , recommends diagramming your life to gain perspective. To do this, get in a retrospective mood, enlist the help of a friend or spouse (martinis also work), and plot your life’s six most significant moments. When you do it thoughtfully and honestly, there will usually be one pivotal event that stands out as particularly intriguing and/or meaningful. If there isn’t, don’t worry. There are many different ways to diagram a life. Try dividing yours by critical choices, influential people, conflicts, beliefs, lessons, even mistakes. Experiment until you find the one story that wants to be told, the one experience that really fashioned you.

3. Don’t begin at the beginning. Don’t tell your story chronologically. That’s too predictable. Think of your favorite books. Most don’t start at the beginning. Instead they rivet you with instant action and intrigue. A good beginning is a tease. It gives readers just enough action to hook them without divulging the outcome. Then it flashes back to the real chronological beginning and fills in the background.

4. Use all your senses. The best writers create vivid new worlds for readers to inhabit. Yet most budding memoirists produce first drafts that are flat. To transport readers (and yourself), write vividly. This is done through detail, by using all your senses to fully re-create a moment in time. You can teach yourself to do this. The next time you’re waiting in a restaurant, a doctor’s office, or even in traffic, notice the various sights, sounds, smells, and textures. It’s what writers do, both in reality and in their stories.

5. Build your writing muscle. You have a writing muscle, and it needs exercise to perform well. Set a daily goal of writing 200, 500, or even 1,000 words. Set aside a regular time, like early morning, and be disciplined. Don’t worry about making what you write perfect. Just focus on getting the story out. (There will be plenty of time for polishing later.) Above all, relax. Memoir is the easiest type of writing to do well. You’ve already done the research and are intimately familiar with every character. Now you just need to tell it.

Kelly was involved with Mother Teresa and her work for about 16 years, leaving a career as a Sotheby’s auctioneer in Manhattan to work in the slums of Calcutta and elsewhere in the world. “Occasionally, when I was home, I’d do public speaking. People kept telling me I should write these experiences down. I didn’t think of myself as a writer, but I got that message so many times, I thought I better pay attention. So I started writing on my Selectric typewriter. I was pretty naive because I thought I’d write a book and the next week I’d do something else. But in the end, of course, I let the whole apartment go and was doing nothing else.”

Kelly self-published her book, printing 10,000 initial copies, and funding the project by working odd jobs (including a stint as a doorman). Depending predominantly on word of mouth and her own passion, she has since gone into a second printing and sold a total of 15,000 copies.

“Success isn’t measured in how many I’ve sold,” she notes. “It’s measured in the delight I got in producing something really wonderful.”

By contrast, Smith had written eight novels before she decided to address in memoir an experience that, she came to realize, had been haunting her for decades. When she was nine, a friend named Irene was sexually assaulted and strangled in her neighborhood. But since it was the grin-and-bear-it 1950s, no one talked about it. When Smith decided to “take her finger out of the dike” decades later, the memories came flooding back.

“You think that you’ll never remember the details of what happened so long ago,” she explains, “but all you have to do is find a quiet, comfortable place and write one line. That’s when you’ll start to see the whole scene right in front of you. It’s incredible.”

Be forewarned: Some of what comes back may be painful. “Writing memoir is like preparing yourself to go to confession,” says McCourt, who didn’t publish Angela’s Ashes until he was 66. “You have to examine your conscience.” And that entails honesty. You can’t write an effective memoir if you’re worried about family and friends looking over your shoulder. Even if the truth hurts, if it is truthful, then there’s no other way to present it. At the very least, readers will recognize the courage in that and respect you for it.

“When you’re truly honest and revealing about yourself, it creates a sigh in other people,” says Lorna Kelly. “They realize they’re not alone, they’re not a freak: Someone else has felt the exact same way or lived their dream. If you’re going to skimp on the truth, then you’re doing a disservice. Honesty is not only a gift to other people—it’s a gift to yourself.”

The other half of successful memoir writing is retrospection. It’s not enough to just chronicle your life as if you were a newspaper reporter. Memoir demands that you write about what you’ve learned from your experiences. For instance, Walls initially wrote about her childhood as a detached observer, and the result, her literary agent told her, was a story that read like it was “wrapped in cellophane.” Only when she assumed the persona of herself as a little girl did it become real and powerful.

In many ways, writing a memoir is like painting. You slap some words on a blank canvas, take a few steps back, look at how they’re coming together, then refine things further. That step back is retrospection. It’s thoughtfulness. It’s an attempt to figure things out. It’s the search for your truth.

“A smart therapist once told me that what I had done in this book was exactly what he tries to get patients to do, and that is confront the truth,” says Walls. “For many years I was running from it, but the truth has a way of catching up with you, and this was my way of coming to terms with it. The things that haunt you, the things that have power over you—once you confront them, they lose their power. So many people ask me, ‘How can you forgive your parents for treating you that way?’ Well, actually, the person I had to forgive was myself. By sitting down and telling what really happened, I was able to understand it for the first time.”

Originally Published: December 12, 2010

We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices.

We recommend our users to update the browser.

• Google Chrome
• Apple Safari
• Mozilla Firefox
• Microsoft Edge
• Personality Type
• Royal Family
• ALL ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
• Hair Styles
• Shoes & Accessories
• ALL BEAUTY & FASHION
• Community Hub
• Healthy Eating
• Holidays & Observances
• Pest Control
• Funny Stories & Photos
• Funny Jokes
• Corny Jokes
• Funny One-Liners
• Knock-Knock Jokes
• Submit Your Joke
• Submit Your Cartoon
• Brain Games
• Grammar & Spelling
• ALL KNOWLEDGE
• ALL PETS & ANIMALS
• Friendships
• ALL RELATIONSHIPS
• Personal Tech
• Airport Security
• Packing & Accessories
• Holiday Stories
• Inspiring Stories
• Love Stories
• Nicest Places
• Survival Stories
• ALL TRUE STORIES
• Career Planning
• Succeeding at Work
• ALL WORK & CAREER
• Newsletters

10 Best Books On Writing A Memoir (Worth Reading)

For a very long time, writing a memoir was the province of celebrities, politicians, or just anyone with a story to tell. There’s something about finding time to think and write about someone’s life story. Writing a memoir is like writing a novel. Both tell a story, but unlike a novel, a memoir is 100 percent truthful. However, before you become a writer, you have to be a reader. There are a lot of books about the art of writing. Below is a curated collection of books to help you master the craft of writing a memoir.

The 10 Best Books on Writing a Memoir:

1. the art of memoir by mary karr, 2. bird by bird: some instructions on writing and life by anne lamott.

Bird by Bird is a modern classic that is worth reading solely for Anne Lamott’s elegant, moving, and often hilarious prose. Lamott is a brilliant author of several novels and non-fiction books . The book reads like a collection of anecdotes on writing. The book starts with a simple introduction describing her lifelong love of books and the influence her father has had on her life and writing. The expression “Bird by Bird” here means one small step at a time, a principle that the author takes to heart in her writing. It doesn’t matter if you want to write a book inscription or a whole novel, Bird by Bird is a must-read.

3. Fearless Confessions: A Writer’s Guide to Memoir by Sue William Silverman

Fearless Confessions is Sue William Silverman’s guidebook for both veteran and novice writers who want to put their life experiences down on a book, website, or e-book. This book gets into the intricate details of writing, starting from the first draft and going all the way to publishing and marketing. She has included illustrative examples from many writers and writing exercises to help you navigate the unchartered territories of memoir writing. This is a practical how-to guide that teaches some unique concepts and techniques for writing one’s life story.

4. Naked, Drunk, and Writing: Shed Your Inhibitions and Craft a Compelling Memoir or Personal Essay by Adair Lara

Naked, Drunk, and Writing by award-winning author and seasoned columnist, Adair Lara, is a gift to anyone looking to learn how to write a sensational memoir. No list of “best books on writing a memoir” would be complete without Lara’s writing guidebook. This book is a brilliant culmination of her vast experience as a writer, editor, and teacher. She explains what goes in and what doesn’t in a memoir . Once you finish the book, you’ll know how to write essays and memoirs, how to revise your work, and how to get it published .

5. On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King

6. old friend from far away: the practice of writing memoir by natalie goldberg.

Old Friend from Far Away brings a new perspective on memoir-writing. It teaches writers how to tap into their unique memories to tell their stories. If you’re struggling to write a memoir or feeling like you don’t have a story to tell, this book by Natalie Goldberg will snap you out of the doldrums. Each chapter is a writing exercise, more like a roadmap to getting started and following through. As a writer, you gain a solid understanding of your mind and learn to connect with your senses to find the right thoughts to put down on paper.

7. The Nonfictionist’s Guide: On Reading and Writing Creative Nonfiction by Robert Root

The Nonfictionist’s Guide is a must-read for writers and teachers of creative non-fiction. Now that you know the basics of writing and publishing a memoir , this book gets you into the poetics of non-fiction. Robert Root points to the many tools of poetry that can be used in other non-fiction works. It is practically labeled as literary non-fiction but subdivided into essays, memoirs, literary journalism, and narratives of nature and travel. The author discusses the non-fiction motive and offers a lively exploration of the elements of contemporary non-fiction.

8. Writing the Memoir by Judith Barrington

The first edition of Writing the Memoir came out in early 1997 and was consistently praised as “one of the best books on writing a memoir” out there. It is an encouraging book that sheds light on the personal challenges and ethical dilemmas of writing your true stories . This is a comprehensive guidebook for beginners that explains everything you need to get started and gives that push to encourage you to keep writing. Judith Barrington starts from the very basics, such as “What is a memoir?” and answers all the questions you’ll probably have as a novice memoirist.

9. Where To Go From Here by James Birren & Linda Feldman

10. the memoir project: a thoroughly non-standardized text for writing & life by marion roach smith, the best memoirs of all time:.

Just like fiction, memoirs do not follow a traditional narrative and there are as many flavors of memoirs as there are human experiences. We have rounded up some of the best-selling memoirs of all time . These true-life tales are absolute eye-openers.

Final Thoughts

Rafal reyzer.

Hey there, welcome to my blog! I'm a full-time entrepreneur building two companies, a digital marketer, and a content creator with 10+ years of experience. I started RafalReyzer.com to provide you with great tools and strategies you can use to become a proficient digital marketer and achieve freedom through online creativity. My site is a one-stop shop for digital marketers, and content enthusiasts who want to be independent, earn more money, and create beautiful things. Explore my journey here , and don't miss out on my AI Marketing Mastery online course.

• Editorial Services
• How It Works
• Literary Agent Alert

Don't Make These 7 Mistakes When Penning Your Memoir

Writing a memoir isn’t for the faint of heart.

It requires bravery, unflinching honesty, and the ability to turn your life lessons into universal truths. Most mere mortals can’t write a compelling memoir-- but that’s not due to lack of material. It’s because few people, writers included, understand the mechanics of non-fiction storytelling.

How do you write about something that actually happened without revising the truth, offending your loved ones, or boring your readers to tears?

If you’re writing for entertainment, how do you create a memoir that appeals to readers who don’t know you?

If you’re writing to document your life for future generations, how do present your life in a fresh, insightful, and authentic way?

You can start by sidestepping the most common mistakes. Let’s take a look at the top 7 mistakes that many memoirists make when retelling their lives for entertainment or posterity.

Here’s a list of best practices to remember when you’re penning your memoir. Subscribe to receive this extra resource.

Download your bonus content:

Mistake No. 1: Covering Too Much

A memoir is not an autobiography.

An autobiography usually contains reflections that one can only acquire from the vantage point of old age. So, an autobiography often starts at birth and follows the writer through youth, a string of questionable decisions, two or more rocky relationships, eventual triumph, and ultimately to old age.

But, a memoir is not like that. While an autobiography is often written at the perceived end of one’s life, a memoir can be tethered to any huge event in one’s life. A memoir is a slice of life. You can document anything, including the death of a loved one, the birth or adoption of a child, summer camp, a religious awakening, becoming an adult, journeying to a different country, or adjusting to the new home, just to name a few ideas.

If you lived it, you can write it.

But, it would be a mistake to write about everything that you’ve experienced in your life at one time. Unless you’re a public figure, very few people are interested in reading about your life from cradle to almost grave. It’s much more impactful, even for public figures, to write about key, transformative events in their lives.

Not sure how to whittle down your epic life into a measly memoir? Remember, you don’t have to write just one memoir. Isn’t that so liberating? Over the course of your life, you can write several memoirs about the different events that shaped who you are.

What event would take up at least one chapter of your autobiography? Take that chapter and expand it into an entire book. A memoir gives you the opportunity to dig deep into a pivotal event or explore how you felt, why you felt it, and the lessons you learned.

Mistake No. 2: Not Finding the Bigger Story

What will the reader learn from your story?

Figure out what lessons you learned from going through the event that is documented in your memoir. Mine for nuggets of truth. Many people use memoirs as a time of self-reflection and even therapy.

If you’re not sure what lessons you’ve learned, focus on what your story is about. This is the theme of your story. Your story’s theme can help clarify what you’ve learned.

Some common memoir themes surround the following topics:

• Accepting change
• Adjusting to a new life
• Coming of age
• Dealing with loss
• Determination
• Discrimination
• Making tough choices
• Overcoming adversity
• Self esteem

Do one of those topics (and associated themes) apply to your memoir? What statement does your memoir make about this topic?

For example, I wrote a memoir about losing my mother to cancer. I was 13 at the time, so it was a combination of dealing with loss and coming of age. If I wasn’t sure what lessons I learned, I’d ask myself, “What did losing my mother at a young age teach me about death or loss?” or “How did my mother’s death affect my transition into adulthood?”

The answer would be the big idea of my story. You see, when you tell a story, it’s not just for you and your processing, it’s for the reader, too. They should be able to come away with a satisfying truth about life-- especially when reading a memoir.

Just like you wouldn’t tell a story to someone face to face without connecting to a point so you shouldn’t do that with your memoir, either. Always keep the big idea in mind.

Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t have a big idea yet. You can totally start writing your first draft without any idea of your story’s theme or life lesson. Sometimes, the theme becomes obvious after the first draft is on paper.

Mistake No. 3: Starting at Birth

Chances are, you don’t remember when you were born-- so why start your memoir at birth? You’ll have to rely on other’s perceptions (at best), and the point of your memoir is to start with your memories.

So, unless you have a really good reason, don’t start your story until you’re at an age where you can actually remember events.

And besides, starting at birth is a slow way to go. Most readers want to dive into the action, not wait for you to hit the major life event somewhere around page 173.

Remember that your memoir doesn’t have to be told in chronological order. You can jump around and insert flashbacks and backstory.

Also, your memoir doesn’t have to cover an extended period of your life. One decade, two years, three months, four hours-- you’re not obligated to a specific time period for your memoir. So, choose what makes most sense for telling your memoir.

Mistake No. 4: Not Outlining

To outline or not to outline…

Everyone has an opinion on outlining, but my opinion is to go for it-- especially with a memoir.

One of the biggest reasons against using an outline is that it’s restrictive. An outline can confine you to a certain path of events. But,when you’re recounting the actual events of your life, there’s not much wiggle room.

For creative non-fiction like memoirs, outlining won’t hurt the creative process, but will actually help it. Outlining allows you to recall things that you may have forgotten, including dates that inevitably get jumbled up over the years.

Your outline doesn’t need to be strict, but it should include a list of key events leading up to and following the climax of your memoir.

If you like the idea of outlining, take it a little further. Divide your memoir into chapters and sketch out what you’d like to discuss in each chapter. This type of outline can help you stay on course, especially if you have a tendency to meander and digress.

Mistake No. 5: Not Protecting Yourself From Lawsuit

When you’re writing about other people, you face the possibility of getting sued. It sucks, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.

If you’re planning to write about individuals who may not like what you have to say, it’s generally a good idea to change the person’s name and individual characteristics. You may even need to change the location, and alter a few other identifying clues, like place of employment. Another option is to write under a pseudonym.

But if some one’s hell-bent on suing you, this may not protect you.

What will protect you is asking all of the people who you discuss in the book to sign a general release form. Make sure you notarize it, too.

Check out this sample release form from Angela Hoy at WritersWeekly.com .

Image Courtesy of WritersWeekly.com

Mistake No. 6: Forgetting Your Audience

Who are you writing for?

Always keep your audience in mind as you’re writing your memoir. They’re just as important as the story you’re telling. If your story doesn’t resonate with the audience, there’s no need to even tell it to them.

Who you’re writing for will change how you tell the story.

If you’re writing for an audience that doesn’t know you personally , you should explore the bigger ideas of your narrative. This is important so that those without a personal stake in your story will be able to glean larger truths.

Also remember that an audience who’s unfamiliar with your story won’t be drawn to it without a compelling topic.

If you’re writing for your family or future generations , the way that you frame your story may be different. Chances are, these readers will be familiar with some of the key players in your memoir, so you can use your narrative to create a new perspective of those family members. You can also use your memoir to document and share insight into your mindset during those pivotal events.

Mistake No. 7: Not Editing

Editing is a must, particularly with a memoir.

While you don’t have to be objective about the events within the narrative (it is your life’s story, no one expects you to be completely removed), you do need help to sort through the mechanics of non-fiction storytelling.

This is why you need to work with a professional editor. A professional editor will help you identify the parts of your story that are flaccid and unnecessary. He or she will help you tidy up your narrative so that you can tell the best story possible.

We can help you shape up your memoir narrative. Get started with our manuscript critique now .

Additional Resources

Before you go, here are a few related posts to check out:

• How to Write a Memoir That People Care About
• DIY Your Edit: 10 Apps to Help You Shape Up Your Manuscript
• How to Make the Most of Working With a Professional Editor

Enter your email for your FREE 7-Day Bootcamp and learn:

• 5 Unconventional Techniques to help you finish your Draft
• The Key to Getting Readers to Care About Your Characters
• How to Master Dialogue, even if you’re a First-Time Writer
• What You Need to Know to Hold Your Reader’s Interest

We've sent you an e-mail, thanks for subscribing!

Member-only story

Memoir: Everyone Has a Story

Some thoughts on how you can tell and write yours.

Karen Hill Anton

The Writing Cooperative

You’ve decided to write a memoir. You have a story to tell. You feel your life has been interesting and you’d like to share it, in writing. Or, perhaps, you’ve reached a certain age and are taking stock of your life. Whatever your reasons, writing a memoir is a worthy undertaking — albeit one that comes with challenges. The first…

Written by Karen Hill Anton

Author of the award-winning memoir THE VIEW FROM BREAST POCKET MOUNTAIN and debut novel A THOUSAND GRACES https://www.karenhillanton.com/

Text to speech

4th of July Sale: $10 off on all books!

With Code: LIBERTY10

• First class Live Support (business hours)
• Shipping worldwide

50 Journal Prompts for Memoir Writing

• July 1, 2024
• General topics
• Write the first comment
• 5 minutes read

Table of Contents

The journal prompts for memoir writing include different life experiences, from significant relationships to childhood memories. They help inspire reflection and storytelling, encouraging you to delve into your past and share valuable information with readers.

Many people feel overwhelmed by the idea of writing a memoir because they wrongly think it needs to be lengthy and profound. This is a misconception! A memoir can be about any subject and can be as long or short as you like. The main objective is to share your personal experiences and reflect on what you or others can learn from them.

With this in mind, we have compiled some journal prompts to help you get started with memoir writing. These 50 journal prompts will inspire you, whether you’re writing about a significant life lesson, the most influential person in your life, or describing your family history.

Key Takeaways

• A memoir doesn’t need to be lengthy or profound; it can cover any topic and be of any length. The main goal is to share personal experiences and the lessons learned.
• The journal prompts for memoir writing include topics like significant life lessons, influential people, and family history.
• Meminto offers assistance in memoir writing by providing a tool you can use to preserve whatever you want to journal or write down.

• Describe a conversation you were anxious about and how you handled it.
• What influences your daily decisions—fear, courage, or something else? Explain why.
• What scares you the most, and what lessons can readers learn from your experience with fear?
• What motivates you to get out of bed and start your day each morning?
• Discuss how you manage to stay hopeful during tough times.
• Reflect on where you see yourself in five years and how your past influences your future.
• If you could switch lives with someone, what would they learn from your choices?
• Describe your path after high school. What would you change, and what would you keep the same?
• Recall a time someone gave you a second chance and how it affected you.
• Share an instance when you felt superior to someone and what you learned about valuing others.
• What did you think would bring you happiness, and how did you feel once you achieved it?
• Begin a gratitude journal and write about the happiest moment in your life and what it taught you.
• If you could relive any year of your life, which one would you choose and why?
• Describe the town you grew up in and how it shaped your view of life.
• Write about memories you have associated with each of the four seasons: spring, summer, fall, and winter.
• Discuss the most influential people in your life and how they helped shape who you are.
• Talk about a difficult relationship you had and how you managed to work through it.
• Describe what you would do for the person you love the most, considering the patterns in your relationships.
• Share lessons you wish you had known in your twenties.
• Write about a time you felt insignificant and what helped you regain hope.
• What is your earliest memory, and why do you think it has stayed with you?
• What is your favorite travel destination, and why do you love it?
• When was the last time you met a relative you didn’t know well? Share your thoughts about them and how they are related to you.
• Who is the most unique person you have ever met?
• Discuss a book or TV show that has significantly influenced your life. What did you learn from it? Is there a character you particularly relate to?
• Did you enjoy or dislike school as a child? Explain why.
• Write about a moment when you saw someone in a new light.
• What experience taught you the most about yourself and your community?
• Describe a family heirloom and its significance to you.
• Who were the cartoon characters of your childhood, and which one did you identify with the most?
• What is your best memory of a place you traveled to?
• What was the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in high school?
• Which books have had the greatest influence on you?
• Who was your first crush, what attracted you to them, and how long did it last?
• What seemed normal in your childhood but now seems strange or wrong?
• What themes had the biggest impact on you as a child?
• Create an Alphabet Autobiography by writing one sentence or line for each letter from A to Z. Start with something or someone in your life that begins with A, and continue without overthinking until you reach Z.
• How old were you when you first left home?
• Explain how you overcame a major regret and how others can do the same.
• What were your biggest challenges in school, either academically or socially?
• What is the best gift you have ever received?
• How did you make friends as a teenager, and what does this say about you?
• Did you belong to any social group or clique in school? Describe your social life.
• Write about how your favorite moments have motivated you to keep going.
• Describe how having siblings or being an only child affected you growing up.
• Share a time you thought everything was lost and how you managed to keep going.
• Discuss how you care for your mental health and why it’s important to you.
• Choose your most influential mentors and describe three lessons they taught you.
• What emotions do holidays bring up for you?
• Have you ever been betrayed or betrayed someone else? How did it make you feel? Do you regret it, or did it seem like the right thing to do at the time? Did it have a lasting effect on your life?

How to Create a Memoir

With the journal prompts above, you can start writing your memoir. Tools like Meminto can help you when you’re writing down your memories so you can have a physical and digital copy.

Here’s a step by step guide on how to use Meminto:

• Go to https://meminto.com/product/life-book/ and click “Get Started.”

• Select whether the book is for you (“I will”) or someone else (“Someone else will”).

• You can choose the number of pages for your book and whether you want extra or digital copies. Then, click “Add to Cart.”

• Enter your shipping address and payment information, and use a promo code if you have one.

• Review your order on the checkout page and confirm it.

• Check your email for a confirmation message with an activation code. Copy the code and visit https://memin.to/register .

• Fill out the registration form with your details, activation code, and password. Click “Sign up for Meminto” to start creating your story.

• Choose your language (German or English), select the day you want to receive weekly questions, and click “Save Changes.”

• Select the typographic alignment and category presentation for your book.

• Customize the book to your liking.

• Watch the video below for more information on using the Meminto app.

These 50 journal prompts provide ways for you to start writing your memoir. They encourage reflection on essential moments and personal growth. With tools like Meminto, you can confidently begin your memoir-writing journey. You can craft unique stories, creating captivating stories that forge meaningful connections with readers. Through reflection and storytelling, memoir writing becomes more than just a creative pursuit—it becomes a transformative exploration of oneself.

This post is also available in %s.

Also interesting

100 Birthday Messages for Grandma

20 Personalized Gifts for Grandma’s Birthday

What is an Autobiographical Memory? With 10 Examples

60 ‘If’ Questions to Ask Your Friends and Family

40 Questions to Fall in Love and Bring You Closer Together

Subscribe now, meminto books.

Sign up for our inspiring newsletter!

Download our app now and start for free!

Information

• Help & Support
• Terms & Conditions
• Payment Methods
• Legal Notice
• Privacy Policy
• Affiliate Area
• Life Book for Christians
• Memorial Book
• Childhood Book
• Parents Book
• Relationship Book
• Wedding Book
• Travel Journal
• ✨ Write your own book
• ✨ NEW: The Yearbook
• Printable Gift Voucher
• Shop (more products)
• Explainer Videos
• Helpdesk & Contact
• Questions? Ask Peter!
• Free personal consultation

Sign up & get a free Mini Book!

Get 9 questions for a book of your choice and start creating your free digital mini-book!

The Yearbook

Quickly select the book you want to buy or give away!

Remember: Life is not always perfect. But it's always what you make it. So make it count. Make it memorable. And never let anyone steal your happiness. With ❤️ from Meminto

We earn a commission for products purchased through some links in this article.

20 uplifting memoirs by remarkable women

Our book editor recommends some of her favourite real-life stories.

As well as finding comfort in a shared experience, memoirs can open our eyes to lives that as far from our own as possible and hopefully make us more empathetic as a result. Find a life story that speaks to you and reading it can be just as addictive as the best fiction. From older classics like Wild by Cheryl Strayed to new releases such as The Half Bird by Susan Smillie, here 20 inspiring memoirs to add to your to-read pile.

The Half Bird by Susan Smillie

Fans of The Salt Path will love this exhilarating travel memoir about one woman’s journey by boat from Land’s End to Greece. After a break-up and feeling disillusioned with work, novice sailor Smillie decides to leave London behind for the ocean, going on an inner journey of discovery as extraordinary as her physical one.

Went To London, Took The Dog by Nina Stibbe

I’ve been a fan of Stibbe's writing ever since her debut, Love, Nina. This book is a diary of her 60th year, in which she leaves Cornwall to move back to London (with her dog). It’s funny, but with a relatable edge of vulnerability.

Went to London, Took the Dog by Nina Stibbe

The Farmer's Wife by Helen Rebanks

A thoughtful look at what life is like for a wife and mother living on a working farm in the Lake District. Rebanks’ writing style is gentle but insightful, and she offers an alternative to ideas of success and womanhood. As a bonus, there are recipes for delicious-sounding dishes scattered through the book.

Faber & Faber The Farmer's Wife by Helen Rebanks

The Garden Against Time by Olivia Laing

In her mid-40s, Laing became the owner of a longed-for garden for the first time in her life, and this gorgeous memoir is her account of returning it to its former glory. Through it, she weaves a history of grand British gardens and the difficult history upon which many are built.

The Giant On The Skyline by Clover Stroud

I will read anything Stroud writes, and this new memoir is as raw, open and thoughtful as her previous books. Beginning as her family prepares to leave the Oxfordshire countryside to start a new life in Washington DC, she reflects on the meaning of home and how certain places embed themselves into our bones.

Handmade by Siri Helle

When Siri Helle inherited a cabin in the middle of a Norwegian wood with no electricity or running water, she decided to build an outhouse to accompany it. As a journalist used to writing emails, she had no previous experience of building anything, but she set to work using only the resources available to her, teaching herself how to use a chainsaw among other specialised skills.

The Soul of a Woman: Rebel Girls, Impatient Love, and Long Life by Isabel Allende

An autobiographical meditation on power, feminism and womanhood from the best-selling novelist. It moves back and forth between different times in her life and talks about the impact her father leaving had on her as a child, her love for her children and her three marriages. Like her award-winning novels, which include The House Of The Spirits and A Long Petal Of The Sea, it is full of passion and emotion.

Bloomsbury Circus The Soul of a Woman by Isabel Allende

I Am I Am I Am by Maggie O'Farrell

The bestselling novelist's foray into memoir was a successful one; telling the extraordinary story of her 17 brushes with death with astonishing heart.

Tinder Press I Am, I Am, I Am by Maggie O'Farrell

Untamed by Glennon Doyle

I read this life-changing book (and I don't use that praise lightly) with a pencil to hand so I could highlight passages that I wanted to remember. Reader, the whole book is a mess of pencil marks! This is a must-read for anyone woman who was brought up to be good, dutiful and to push down her own needs. Through 'ah-ha!' moments from her own life, Doyle shows how she learned that pleasing others is impossible and how by understanding that she becomes free to please herself.

Vermilion Untamed by Glennon Doyle

The Consequences Of Love by Gavanndra Hodge

The author was only seven when her older sister died suddenly on a family holiday. As an adult, Hodges realises she's never really dealt with her loss and the way her parents' problems with addiction overshadowed her childhood and teenage years. This stunning exploration of grief is so well written and profoundly moving.

Michael Joseph The Consequences of Love by Gavanndra Hodges

Becoming by Michelle Obama

This intimate, beautifully written memoir follows the former First Lady from her early years in the South Side of Chicago to balancing work and motherhood, to her time spent at the world's most famous address. The sections on what becoming a mother meant to her are particularly moving. I'd recommend listening to the audiobook as Obama reads it herself.

My Wild And Sleepless Nights by Clover Stroud

Clover Stroud is one of the very best writers on the light and dark of motherhood and if you enjoyed her debut, The Wild Other , you’ll love this new memoir. The book follows the first year of her fifth child’s life as she juggles looking after a newborn with dealing with her teenage son’s problematic behaviour. The writing is sublime and honest.

Doubleday My Wild and Sleepless Nights by Clover Stroud

Just Kids by Patti Smith

Patti Smith’s memoir about her early years in New York fizzes with the promise of life. She’s in love with the world, intoxicated by her freedom and not afraid to rush headfirst into new friendships and situations. Every time I read it leaves me feeling just that little bit braver.

Bloomsbury UK Just Kids

Wild by Cheryl Strayed

Wild charts her journey from rock bottom to recovery, via 1000 mile solo walk through some of America's most hostile bits. My favourite quote? "What if I forgave myself? What if I was a liar and a cheat and there was no excuse for what I'd done other than because it was what I wanted and needed to do? What if I was sorry, but if I could go back in time I wouldn't do anything differently than I had done? What if yes was the right answer instead of no? What if I was never redeemed? What if I already was?"

Atlantic Books Wild by Cheryl Strayed

The Red Of My Blood by Clover Stroud

A few weeks before Christmas 2019, Clover’s sister, circus impressario Nell Gifford, died suddenly of breast cancer aged forty-six. This charts the year that follows, and Clover’s passage through what felt like wilderness and then brutal, tangled forest to find light and beauty and eventually wonder at the magical way in which life and death co-exist. A beautiful, moving visceral account of what it is to grieve.

The Red of my Blood by Clover Stroud

How To Be A Woman by Caitlin Moran

This is a hilarious but touching feminist manifesto and autobiography which is all the more fascinating for the details it reveals about Times columnist Caitlin Moran’s unusual childhood.

Ebury Press How To Be a Woman by Caitlin Moran

The Wild Silence by Raynor Winn

This is a must-read for everyone who was inspired by Raynor Winn's debut The Salt Path , about the epic walking journey she and her ill husband, Moth, embarked on after being made homeless. It covers the next chapter as they struggle to find a home and way of life that will suit them. It's another very thoughtful memoir.

Michael Joseph The Wild Silence by Raynor Winn

H Is For Hawk by Helen Macdonald

Poleaxed by her father's sudden death, Helen Macdonald decides to realise her childhood dream of adopting and training a bird of prey. Big-hearted, joyful and glowing with gorgeous descriptions of nature, this is an unusual but very special memoir.

Vintage H is for Hawk by Helen MacDonald

Late Fragments by Kate Gross

I read this moving memoir years ago but still often think about it often. Kate was diagnosed with colon cancer when she was in her mid-30s and her twin sons were only little. Despite her situation she manages to find the joy in life and her attitude is inspiring. A wonderful, moving, uplifting read that will make you want to live BIG.

William Collins Late Fragments by Kate Gross

The Girl Who Smiled Beads by Clemantine Wamariya

Wamariya was just six when her whole life changed. During the Rwandan civil war, she and her sister were forced to flee their home and spent six years as refugees migrating through seven different African countries, never knowing if their parents in Rwanda were still alive. Finally, they were granted refugee status in America and had to start over, with Wamariya eventually going to Yale University. A riveting, eye-opening story about remaking your own life.

Windmill Books The Girl Who Smiled Beads by Clemantine Wamariya

@media(max-width: 64rem){.css-o9j0dn:before{margin-bottom:0.5rem;margin-right:0.625rem;color:#ffffff;width:1.25rem;bottom:-0.2rem;height:1.25rem;content:'_';display:inline-block;position:relative;line-height:1;background-repeat:no-repeat;}.loaded .css-o9j0dn:before{background-image:url(/_assets/design-tokens/goodhousekeeping/static/images/Clover.5c7a1a0.svg);}}@media(min-width: 48rem){.loaded .css-o9j0dn:before{background-image:url(/_assets/design-tokens/goodhousekeeping/static/images/Clover.5c7a1a0.svg);}} Book Reviews

12 best book festivals

The best early Amazon Prime Day book deals

Best thrillers and crime novels to read

Best holiday books to pack

Naomi Klein's best books

Kiran Millwood Hargrave's best books

10 best books to read now

Top parenting books

How I write: David Nicholls

13 best fantasy books

All the best new cookbooks to buy now

EXPLORE our brands

Best Credit Cards

Best Personal Loans

Debt Management

Home Equity

Student Loans

Student Loan Refinance

Certificate of Deposits

Explore Options

Best Insurance Companies

Best Investments

Getting Started

Filing Taxes

Women's Clothing

Men's Clothing

Women's Shoes

Men's Shoes

Accessories

Office Accessories

Home Office

Guides and How-To's

Pet Accessories

Kitchen products

Product reviews

Living Room Accessories

Heaters, fans, and air purifiers

Home and garden

Home Audio Gear

Headphones & Earbuds

Laptops & Laptop Accessories

Tablets & Tablet Accessories

Wifi & Computer Accessories

Glasses & Headsets

Smart Watches

Electric Bikes & Scooters

Smart Devices

Travel Gear

Gift guides

For loved ones

Special occassions

Memorial Day

Presidents Day

Amazon Prime

Black Friday

Coffee Makers & Espresso Machines

Online Coffee Shops & Subscriptions

Coffee Accessories & How Tos

Wine & Champagne Glasses

Wine Accessories

Gifts for Wine Lovers

Non-fiction

Board Games

Best Memoirs to Inspire and Enlighten

Great reads often come from firsthand accounts of lives relatable—and exceptional. These are 15 worth your time

Contributor

Nneka McGuire is a contributor to Buy Side from WSJ.

Updated May 28, 2024, 11:25 PM EDT

Featured in this article

Marjane Satrapi Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood

Paul Holes Unmasked: My Life Solving America’s Cold Cases

Joan Didion The Year of Magical Thinking

Margo Jefferson Negroland: A Memoir

Carmen Maria Machado In the Dream House: A Memoir

Elie Wiesel Night

Michelle Zauner Crying in H Mart

Andre Agassi Open: An Autobiography

Vivian Gornick Fierce Attachments

Kiese Laymon Heavy: An American Memoir

Jeannette Walls The Glass Castle: A Memoir

Maya Angelou I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

Susan Faludi In the Darkroom

Vanessa Springora Consent: A Memoir

Steve Martin Born Standing Up: A Comic’s Life

Peering into other people’s lives is a thrilling pursuit. Worthwhile, too. The best memoirs engross and enlighten. Without being didactic, they have something to teach about growing up; weathering grief; seeing your community, your parents, your self clearly. The real-life tales below meticulously describe varied worlds—the American South, Asian supermarkets, Europe, the Middle East, California law enforcement—and invite you to root around and extract intriguing anecdotes and precious insights.

Before we unfurl this list of crackerjack titles, two caveats. First, you won’t see recent celebrity memoirs presented here. This is not to say that such memoirs don’t have their merits—they do—but they already receive significant attention. (Show us a soul in North America who hasn’t heard of Prince Harry’s “Spare.”) Second, this list isn’t comprehensive. To any bibliophile miffed that their favorite memoir isn’t named herein, give us grace. Like all lists about books, this one is a beginning. A suggestion. A kind of smorgasbord of literary amuse-bouches. Sample freely, then let your appetites lead you where they may.

Visual coming-of-age

$10 at Amazon

$ 16 save $ 6.00

$15 at Bookshop

$ 16 save $ 1.00

Think comics are best suited for unserious subject matter? Sit down with Marjane Satrapi’s graphic memoir and promptly reconsider. In “ Persepolis ,” Satrapi recounts her youth in Iran. The precocious child of financially comfortable progressives, Satrapi attended a secular, French school. Then came the Iranian revolution in 1979, which initially her family supported—until the Islamic Republic upended their and others’ way of life. Dissidents who openly opposed the religious regime or flouted its strict rules were met with brutality, including execution. Satrapi’s own uncle was killed. On the heels of the revolution came the Iran-Iraq War in 1980. But even amid regime change and war, kids are still kids. Yes, “Persepolis” has harrowing scenes (torture, terror), but there’s wit and whimsy, too, along with the typical markers of teendom. Satrapi goofs off with friends, sneaks cigarettes, dons denim jackets and Nike sneakers. It’s a bildungsroman cut with a history lesson, rendered in striking black-and-white illustrations.

True-crime read

$17 at Amazon

$ 29 save $ 12.00

$27 at Bookshop

$ 29 save $ 2.00

From the first pages, Paul Holes’s memoir feels like a prestige drama. Grizzled investigator at a bar, bourbon in hand, haunted. At a Hollywood strip club called Jumbo’s Clown Room (miraculously, a real place), Holes helplessly envisions the young women being victimized, hands a hundred to a dancer and tells her to be careful. “Something is happening to me lately,” Holes writes. “My sheets are soaking wet when I wake up from nightmares of decaying corpses.” It all feels cinematic, except it’s real, and if you like true crime, noir or behind-the-scenes scoops about macabre professions, you’ll find this book, written with Robin Gaby Fisher, unputdownable. (Asterisk: Readers who can’t abide detailed accounts of rape and other atrocities should leave this one on the shelf.)

A retired cold-case investigator, Holes is best known for his work tracking down the notorious Golden State Killer. “Unmasked” unravels how, in the ’90s, he stumbled upon long-forgotten files from the late ’70s about the still-at-large criminal, then known as the East Area Rapist. Even as he worked fresher cases—helping nail Scott Peterson for murdering his pregnant wife and aiding in the rescue of Jaycee Dugard—he tunneled deeper into his obsession for decades. His home life suffered grievously. With bracing candor, Holes describes career-defining cases and the steep costs of being married to the job.

Exploration of loss

$12 at Amazon

$ 17 save $ 5.00

$16 at Bookshop

$ 17 save $ 1.00

One December evening in 2003, Joan Didion and her husband, John, sat down for dinner. They had just come from the hospital; their only child was in intensive care being treated for pneumonia and septic shock. Didion was mixing salad when John had a massive coronary event. About an hour later, he died. They had been together for four decades. A lifelong writer, Didion turned to the page. “ The Year of Magical Thinking ” is, she writes, her “attempt to make sense of the period that followed, weeks and then months that cut loose any fixed idea I had ever had about death, about illness, about probability and luck, about good fortune and bad, about marriage and children and memory, about grief, about the ways in which people do and do not deal with the fact that life ends, about the shallowness of sanity, about life itself.”

Of all the adjectives that could be used to describe this memoir, two jump out: lucid, and useful. Cleanly, clearly, Didion interrogates grief. She pulls from poetry, elegy, psychology, scientific studies, fiction and etiquette books to parse her own sorrow and that of others, to seek resolution. That magical thinking in the memoir’s title? The belief that her husband would come back.

Culture revelation

$ 19 save $ 9.00

Negroland, to Margo Jefferson, is not one place; it spans Zip codes. It is a socioeconomic circumstance. It’s exclusive, tony. A moniker for the Black elite. “Negroland is my name for a small region of Negro America where residents were sheltered by a certain amount of privilege and plenty,” she writes. “Children in Negroland were warned that few Negroes enjoyed privilege or plenty and that most whites would be glad to see them returned to indigence, deference, and subservience.”

Jefferson was born in Chicago, in 1947, to a pediatrician father and social worker-turned-socialite mother. A Pulitzer Prize-winning cultural critic by trade, Jefferson has the keen eye of an anthropologist, and what she has written here is an ethnography. She reaches far back in history to the “antebellum founders” of Negroland, some of whom achieved such wealth and education through grit, others through exploiting their own race. But Jefferson’s really interested in more recent Negroland history: In plumbing her adolescence, Jefferson engages in an internal, somehow genteel knife fight. She has absorbed Negroland’s mores, after all: not showing off, not discussing frailties in public, not embarrassing her race. Even with such an albatross around her neck, she intrepidly proffers to the archive a depiction of Black American life rarely seen.

Experimenting with form

$14 at Amazon

$ 26 save $ 12.00

$17 at Bookshop

$ 18 save $ 1.00

Clever and experimental, “ In the Dream House ” is broken into short chapters: a page, a paragraph, sometimes just a sentence. These segments unspool the story of an abusive lesbian relationship. While a graduate student in Iowa, Carmen Maria Machado dated a woman whose affections consumed her. Of this blonde-haired, petite paramour, who happened to be in an open relationship, Machado writes, “She’d worked in publishing, she’d lived abroad, she spoke fluent French…And, it turned out, she had a weakness for curvy-to-fat brunettes in glasses. God herself couldn’t have planned it better.”

Each chapter considers the relationship and its context from a unique vantage point. Machado weaves in folk and fairy tales, fictional queer villains, and strands of literature and intellectualism (snippets from Sappho and Patricia Highsmith; a bit of etymology from Jacques Derrida). Each chapter is revelatory. All together, they’re a revelation.

Historical accounting

$6 at Amazon

$ 12 save $ 6.00

$11 at Bookshop

$ 12 save $ 1.00

As horrific as it is essential, “ Night ” is Elie Wiesel’s unflinching account of his time at Auschwitz and Buchenwald as a teenager. First published in 1958, the memoir has long been required reading for many middle or high-schoolers, and is worth revisiting with adult eyes. In spare prose, Wiesel remembers the waking nightmare of the concentration camps. Separated from his mother and sisters early on—some of whom he’d never lay eyes on again—he and his father survived for many months, but his dad ultimately died at Buchenwald in late January 1945. The camp was liberated that April.

Particularly striking are Weisel’s memories of the time before, a period of peace and cozy community in Sighet, the small Transylvanian town where he grew up—and the swiftness with which democracy came undone. In 1942, a poor man in town was expelled from Sighet by Hungarian police, along with other foreign Jews. Days later, the man returned and told of what he’d witnessed: In Poland, the Gestapo intercepted the deportees, forced them to dig their own graves, then summarily executed everyone, using babies as target practice. Nobody in Sighet believed him. “London radio, which we listened to every evening, announced encouraging news: the daily bombings of Germany and Stalingrad, the preparation of the Second Front,” Wiesel wrote. “And so we, the Jews of Sighet, waited for better days that surely were soon to come.” Less than two years later, the Germans arrived.

More than an immigrant tale

This is a book about grief and Asian grocery stores , about processing the former in the bright confines of the latter. It’s about a complicated mother-daughter relationship, and cancer, and how the child of an immigrant can feel her cultural heritage slipping through the cracks. In 2014, author Michelle Zauner, the indie singer and guitarist who records music under the name Japanese Breakfast, was 25 when her Korean mother died from stage IV squamous-cell carcinoma at 56. The disease was aggressive, taking her mom’s life about six months after diagnosis. Afterward, Zauner frequently finds herself weeping in H Mart. “You’ll likely find me crying by the banchan refrigerators, remembering the taste of my mom’s soy-sauce eggs and cold radish soup,” Zauner writes. “Sobbing near the dry goods, asking myself, Am I even Korean anymore if there’s no one left to call and ask which brand of seaweed we used to buy?”

In a daisy chain of tender, candid essays—the memoir grew from a New Yorker essay —Zauner recounts growing up an only child in Oregon with her caring, demanding mother and distant father; summers spent with Korean family in Seoul; the wide gulf that grew between her and her mom during Zauner’s teen years; the food that brought them together; and Zauner’s relationship with music, a teenage obsession transmuted into a fruitful profession. Raw and relatable, the memoir feels like listening to an interesting friend unfurl her most intimate moments.

Emotions behind the sport

$15 at Amazon

$ 19 save $ 4.00

$18 at Bookshop

$ 19 save $ 1.00

Imagine being prodigiously skilled at a sport, generationally talented, yet abhorring the game. Andre Agassi inhabited that contradiction. “ Open ,” well, opens with the eight-time Grand Slam singles champion on the floor. He’s in New York for the 2006 U.S. Open, his last tournament before retirement, and he’s in tremendous pain. Born with a spinal disorder called spondylolisthesis, compounded by two herniated discs and a bone spur, Agassi’s body wars with itself. And his soul is at war with his sport. “I hate tennis,” he writes, “hate it with a dark and secret passion, and always have.”

“Open” is startlingly frank, unafraid to lean into incongruity. Agassi is desperate to be free of tennis but dreads the end. He breaks down the vigor and viciousness of gameplay in the crisp, propulsive language of a sports commentator with the added interiority of a competitor. He applies that same urgent storytelling to recollections of his youth and the frighteningly volatile father who forced tennis greatness upon him. Agassi’s pop shoots hawks incessantly (their Vegas roof is covered with victims) and wields weapons during road rage incidents (ax, handgun, fists). It’s easy to see how tennis, for Agassi, is all wound up with terror and responsibility, pride and loathing. Even readers who don’t know a jot about sports will be drawn in as Agassi uncoils his up-and-down career, romances (including a brief marriage to Brooke Shields), drug use, demons and hard-won stability.

Mother-daughter journeys

$14 at Bookshop

$ 15 save $ 1.00

The women peopling Vivian Gornick’s memoir are ferociously alive. They practically crackle—with dimensionality, dreams, idiosyncrasies, suppressed and sublimated desire. “Fierce Attachments ” volleys between flashbacks of the Bronx tenement where the author came of age and present-day walks—or, present when Gornick wrote this, in the ’80s—she and her mother take around Manhattan, during which they reminisce, argue, talk at or around each other, dissemble occasionally and reveal themselves.

“There were twenty apartments,” Gornick writes of the tenement, “four to a floor, and all I remember is a building full of women. I hardly remember the men at all. They were everywhere, of course—husbands, fathers, brothers—but I remember only the women. And I remember them all crude like Mrs. Drucker or fierce like my mother. They never spoke as though they knew who they were, understood the bargain they had struck with life, but they often acted as though they knew.… And I—the girl growing in their midst, being made in their image—I absorbed them as I would chloroform on a cloth laid against my face.”

There isn’t a tight-plot, per se, but the memoir feels like walking the corridors of a building like a hungry ghost, drifting behind doors to gobble the secrets, scandals and rhythms of residents’ lives. And Gornick and her mother’s peripatetics make the book feel kinetic. The two women don’t have an easy relationship, but they keep working at it. It’s intriguing to watch how far they go.

Seeking emotional truths

No one is spared in “ Heavy .” Not Kiese Laymon’s ultrasmart professor mother, who gave him love and facility with words, but also dispensed regular beatings. Not the South where he was raised, with its looming dangers for Black boys like him. Not even himself. In the first chapter, Laymon presents the frame: He is writing this memoir to his mother. “I wanted to write a lie,” he says, “I did not want to write honestly about black lies, black thighs, black loves … black parents, or black children.” He did anyway. “Heavy” holds layered, gutting truths. It is as much about the weight of his body—at 12, he weighed 218 pounds, and later struggled with anorexia—as the heft of psychic wounds stemming from sexual violence and racial, generational traumas. He writes about Rodney King’s beating and his paternal grandmother’s rape at the hands of a white sheriff, about his maternal grandmother needing to wash clothes for a white family to earn money on top of line work at a chicken plant.

This is a difficult memoir. There is no neat resolution. “I finally understand,” Laymon writes, “there can be no liberation when our most intimate relationships are built on—and really inflected by—deception, abuse, misdirection, antiblackness, patriarchy, and bald-faced lies.…I will offer you my heart. I will offer you my head. I will offer you my body, my imagination, and my memory. I will ask you to give us a chance at a more meaningful process of healing.”

Untangling her upbringing

$ 18 save $ 8.00

It’s a wonder Jeannette Walls survived childhood. At 3, she accidentally set herself on fire while boiling hot dogs. She suffered severe burns that necessitated skin grafts. Six weeks later, after her boozehound father broke her out of the hospital, she was back to unsupervised cooking. “Good for you,” her free-spirited mother said, “You’ve got to get right back in the saddle. You can’t live in fear of something as basic as fire.” She, her siblings and parents were frequently on the move—aka, on the run—dodging the FBI, her dad said, or the mafia. He called it “doing the skedaddle.” They zipped across Nevada, California, Arizona.

Food was often scarce. But, Dad promised, soon they’d strike it rich, once he finished building a contraption that would help them find gold. Then he’d erect the Glass Castle, a transparent mansion in the desert. The kids attended school sporadically, but their parents taught them reading, math and how to fire a pistol, shoot a bow and arrow and tap out Morse code. Walls found this nomadic, nonconformist lifestyle exhilarating as a child, but the luster wore off. Lean times got leaner; Dad got meaner. When the adult siblings start to prosper in New York City, their parents relocate there and live on the streets. Heart-stopping, jaw-dropping moments abound in this stranger-than-fiction memoir , but it’s shot through with tenderness.

Powerful classic

$13 at Amazon

$ 18 save $ 5.00

Maya Angelou didn’t want to write a memoir, not at first. She’d been asked many times. In the mid-1960s, her dear friend James Baldwin and her editor hatched a plot: The editor told her she probably shouldn’t attempt autobiography. That did the trick.

The result was 1969’s “ I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings ,” the first of seven autobiographies. Lyrical and incisive, sorrowful and inspiring, the memoir records her life from ages 3 to 17, starting in Stamps, Ark., where Angelou and her brother are sent to live with their grandmother after her parents’ divorce. The racism of the South is ever present, but Angelou finds joy in Stamps, working in her grandmother’s general store, cultivating a love of Shakespeare. Things change when the kids are abruptly moved to St. Louis to live with their mother. There, Angelou’s mother’s boyfriend molests and rapes her. She is 8. His crime is discovered, he is convicted but soon after turns up murdered. Filled with guilt, Angelou stops speaking. Sent back to Arkansas, she meets a warm, well-to-do, formally educated Black woman who inspires Angelou to speak again. The memoir continues to chronicle her adolescence in prose that sings and stings.

“To be left alone on the tightrope of youthful unknowing is to experience the excruciating beauty of full freedom and the threat of eternal indecision,” she writes. “Few, if any, survive their teens. Most surrender to the vague but murderous pressure of adult conformity.” Blessedly, Angelou—who became a poet, memoirist, actress, director, activist and icon—never caved.

Chasing identity

$20 at Bookshop

$ 21 save $ 1.00

$21 at Amazon

Susan Faludi’s parents separated in the ’70s, when she was 16. Her hypermasculine, authoritarian, volcanic father evaporated from her life. Decades later, in 2004, she received an email. The subject line read “Changes.” In the body, her estranged dad, age 76, announced, “I have decided that I have had enough of impersonating a macho aggressive man that I have never been inside.” There had been gender-affirming surgery in Thailand. Attached were several photos of her new parent, Stefánie. That year, Faludi, a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and former Wall Street Journal reporter who has penned books about misogyny and manhood, set off on a peculiar mission. She was going to investigate her father, who was many things: a photographer, a mountaineer, a Jewish survivor of the Nazi occupation in Budapest who did not embrace that Jewish heritage, and now, a woman. Faludi promptly boarded a plane to Hungary, her father’s birthplace and Stefánie’s current country of residence.

“I was in pursuit of a scofflaw, an artful dodger who had skipped out on so many things—obligation, affection, culpability, contrition. I was preparing an indictment,” Faludi writes, but “somewhere along the line, the prosecutor became a witness.”

“ In the Darkroom ” is a meditation on identity, an excavation of family and Hungarian history and an attempt to reconcile profound contradictions. Faludi writes, “it was hard for me to purge that image of the violent man from her new persona. Was I supposed to believe the one had been erased by the other…Could a new identity not only redeem but expunge its predecessor?”

Exposé from France

$16 at Amazon

Readers of “ Consent ” may recall the early days of America’s #MeToo movement as the memoir documents how Vanessa Springora was preyed upon by a celebrated French writer. Gabriel Matzneff met her at a dinner party. “He threw me a smile,” she writes, “which I confused for a paternal smile, because…I no longer had a father.” Springora’s parents had split; her father had essentially vanished. She felt electrified by Matzneff’s attention. She was on the cusp of 14. He was nearly 50.

The first time she visited his flat, he kissed her. The second visit he undressed her. “He boasted of his experience,” Springora writes, “how skillfully he had taken the virginity of several young teenage girls, how he always ensured it didn’t hurt in the slightest.” When her body reflexively resisted, he flipped her over. “That is how I lost the first part of my virginity. Just like a little boy , he whispered to me.” He often waited for her after school. She thought she was in love. Springora’s mother found out and consulted her friends. “No one, apparently, was particularly disturbed.” In a stomach-twisting turn of events, her mother came around, sometimes inviting Matzneff to dinner.

Springora’s memoir sent shock waves through France when it was published there in 2020, laying bare how urban elites shielded and facilitated Matzneff’s pedophilia . He wrote casually and at length about his attraction to “rather extreme youth” in his books. Springora used the oppressor’s tools to dismantle his house. “For many years I paced around my cage, my dreams filled with murder and revenge,” she writes. “Until the day when the solution finally presented itself to me…Why not ensnare the hunter in his own trap, ambush him within the pages of a book?”

Comedy’s craft

Okay, we know what you’re thinking. No celebrity memoirs, they told us. Lies! Grant this exception. “ Born Standing Up ” is a study of craft. It details the random circumstances, relationships and innate strivings that defined Steve Martin’s steady progression as a comic. As a 5-year-old, he inhaled Laurel and Hardy, Jack Benny and Red Skelton on TV. “I would memorize Red’s routines about two pooping seagulls, Gertrude and Heathcliffe…and perform them the next day during Wednesday morning’s ‘sharing time’ at my grade school,” he writes. As a teen working at Disneyland, he studied comedian Wally Boag’s techniques and memorized magic routines at Merlin’s Magic Shop. Fans of Martin’s work will enjoy hearing how he cobbled together his early acts—hodgepodges of tricks, jokes and banjo tunes—what he learned while writing for the Smothers Brothers, and how his comedic philosophy shifted over time. “What if there were no punch lines?” he wondered. “What if I created tension and never released it? What if I headed for a climax, but all I delivered was an anticlimax?”

Meet the contributor

Shopping for quality products made easy

Sign up for our Buy Side from WSJ Newsletter

More in Books

Imani Perry South to America: A Journey Below the Mason-Dixon to Understand the Soul of a Nation

Robert Samuels and Toluse Olorunnipa His Name Is George Floyd: One Man's Life and the Struggle for Racial Justice

Linda Villarosa Under the Skin: The Hidden Toll of Racism on American Lives and on the Health of Our Nation

Jonathan Escoffery If I Survive You

Namwali Serpell The Furrows

The 30 Celebrity Memoirs That Are Actually Worth Reading

These books will change your perspective on some of the biggest A-listers.

Celebrity culture is a fascinating thing, and while it’s easy to get your fill by following various gossip blogs, scrolling endlessly on social media, and going down Wikipedia rabbit holes about your favorite actors, musicians, and other public figures, there’s nothing quite like hearing about the celebrity experience from the people living it. Enter the celebrity memoir. A very specific genre of book and even kind of memoir , the best celeb memoirs not only give readers a peek behind the curtain—exposing the inner workings of Hollywood, Buckingham Palace , Washington, D.C., and beyond—but also offer up juicy, hilarious, and sometimes heartbreaking stories that even their most dedicated fans have never heard, painting a much more nuanced picture of a person previously only seen on a TV screen or magazine cover.

Read on for a list of 30 of the best celebrity memoirs ever written—including a National Book Award winner, many, many New York Times bestsellers, and even newly published, must-read titles . Pro tip: If you’re an audiobook fan, many celebs narrate their memoirs, making for an even more intimate and immersive reading experience.

Gilpin, who you may recognize from Netflix’s Glow , described this book as both her “opus” and “chaos.” But it’s the best kind of chaos: a wise, funny, exuberant exploration of the many different selves that the actor shuffles through every era, year, and day of her life as she carves out a fulfilling path for herself—an experience that’ll be all too relatable to so many women everywhere.

Michelle Obama gives her side of the story in this 2018 book, in which she charts a path from her humble beginnings in Chicago to the Ivy League and, eventually, the White House. Not only did the Obama-narrated Becoming audiobook win a Grammy, but the memoir also spawned a Netflix series—in case you just can’t get enough of the former FLOTUS’ story and refreshingly optimistic outlook.

Comedian Trevor Noah was born in South Africa to a Black mother and white father in 1984, a year before interracial relationships were decriminalized in the country—hence the title of his memoir. It goes into detail about his experiences growing up under apartheid and, along the way, also serves as an ode to his fiercely loving mother.

There are enough memoirs by the hilarious and badass women of Saturday Night Live to make up their own genre, complete with titles from Amy Poehler, Gilda Radner, Leslie Jones, and more, but Tina Fey’s entry in the category is one of the very best. Though less revealing than many of the other celeb memoirs on this list, Bossypants is still full of hard-won life lessons and, of course, plenty of the comedy queen’s signature dry humor.

More like “crying anywhere you choose to read this book.” Keep the tissues close by for this one, in which the Japanese Breakfast frontwoman unpacks her close, complicated relationship with her late mother, who showed love largely by cooking copious amounts of Korean food, which Zauner describes in beautiful, loving detail throughout the book.

Comedian Ali Wong penned this series of essays for her two daughters—who appeared in utero in her first two Netflix specials—but, luckily for the rest of us, it was published for everyone to read. Filled with her signature raunchy humor, Wong zigzags across a wide range of material, from intimate details of her sex life to the trip to Vietnam that helped her better understand her mother.

Finding Me sees Davis looking back on her journey from growing up in an unstable home to becoming one of the greatest actors of our time, highlighting the bravery and unstoppable ambition that it took to keep pushing forward despite the many setbacks she faced along the way. Fittingly, it was the audiobook recording of the memoir that earned Davis the Grammy she needed to achieve EGOT status in 2023.

A year before his tragic death, the former Friends star published a memoir detailing the emotional highs and lows of his life: from growing up as a child of divorce to a behind-the-scenes look at his time on the beloved sitcom, through to his years long struggles with addiction.

The Molly Shannon that we all know and love is full of silliness and light, but that seemingly boundless joy was hard-won by the comedian, who early in life lost her mother, sister, and cousin in a tragic car accident. As she tells it in this equally heartbreaking and hilarious memoir, her grieving father encouraged her free-wheeling personality and mischievous antics, allowing her to grow into the powerfully optimistic, joyous superstar she is today.

Behind the shocking title is the former Nickelodeon star’s description of a controlling, abusive mother who dominated McCurdy’s every thought and action for most of her life. The book is separated into two sections, “Before” and “After,” organized around McCurdy’s mother’s 2013 death, and while she recounts her story with heartbreaking detail, she sprinkles in bits of humor and ends on a hopeful note, looking back from a much happier and healthier place.

After more than 60 years in the public eye, there’s still plenty to learn about Sally Field. She opened up about a lot of it in this memoir, which tells the heartbreaking stories of the abuse she endured both in her childhood and throughout her career, breaks down her complicated relationship with her mother, and describes the powerful anchor that acting has always been for her.

After decades spent in the spotlight, it makes sense that Demi Moore’s memoir would be filled with charmingly nostalgic anecdotes and shocking bombshells in equal measure. And the Brat Pack member wasn’t afraid to go deep: She writes in detail about her childhood trauma and struggles with addiction and body image, while also offering up new insights into her well-publicized relationships with leading men like Bruce Willis and Ashton Kutcher.

Mindy Kaling has so far written three essay collections comprising reflections on her childhood, musings on love and friendship, and her thoughts on modern womanhood. You should definitely start with this 2011 book, her first memoir, which is equal parts hilarious, relatable, and heartfelt as it parses through Kaling’s relationship with her mother, her constantly changing body image, and more.

Smith’s 2010 memoir is the only entry on this list to earn a National Book Award—and, by our count, the only celebrity memoir to ever accomplish the feat, period. And for good reason: In it, the punk rocker documents her relationship with the photographer Robert Mapplethorpe in the 1960s and ‘70s, offering a rare look into that period of artistic rebellion and the coming-of-age of two of the greatest artists of their time.

Tiffany Haddish made a massive splash with her scene-stealing role in 2017’s Girls Trip and, in the short time since, has racked up an Emmy and a Grammy, as well as countless other acting roles and hosting gigs. But far from an overnight success story, the comedian’s breakout came after more than a decade of hard work and, before that, a difficult childhood and early adulthood that included periods of homelessness—all of which she described in her powerful 2017 memoir.

Padma Lakshmi is known for her impeccable sense of taste, and this book documents just where she got it, from the headstrong matriarchs who taught her how to cook to the world travels that further expanded her palate. It’s filled with luscious descriptions of food that’ll leave your mouth watering and, even better, sprinkled with recipes so you can recreate some of Lakshmi’s favorite dishes in your own home.

350 pages may not seem like enough to capture a career that has spanned more than half a century, but Sir Elton John somehow made it happen, packing his long-awaited memoir with his entire life story, from childhood to his final farewell tour, including many sordid tales of sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

EmRata first made a splash on the celebrity scene with her appearance in Robin Thicke’s controversial “Blurred Lines” video, in which she bared all—and subsequently pronounced her participation in the video a feminist act. Years later, in this thoughtful, incisive essay collection, she rethinks that statement, examining the insidious nature of the male gaze and modern beauty culture, the ways women are taught to conform (consciously or otherwise) to the patriarchy, and her own participation in perpetuating those ideas.

Megan Rapinoe may be best known for her feats on the soccer field—including her Olympic gold medal and two Women’s World Cup wins—but in this book, she celebrates the powerful moves she’s made off the field. That includes publicly coming out as gay to become a forceful voice for marriage equality, kneeling in solidarity with NFL star Colin Kaepernick’s protests for racial justice, suing the U.S. Soccer Federation over its gender pay gap, and so much more. Prepare to be majorly inspired.

While some celebrities gloss over the hardest parts of their public lives in their memoirs, preferring to focus on stories of triumph and external achievement, Jessica Simpson doesn’t shy away from delving deep. In Open Book , she candidly explores how she felt about many of the infamous moments of her career, from her “blonde moments” on Newlyweds to her headline-grabbing on-and-off relationship with John Mayer to the incessant tabloid coverage of her physical appearance. She also pulls back the curtain even further, opening up about her struggles with addiction and her complicated familial relationships. Trust us: You’ll want to keep the tissues handy for this one, especially if you’re listening to Simpson’s own emotional audiobook narration.

Exploring and coming to terms with your sexuality and gender identity can be difficult enough in private, and here, Page describes how that process was made even more challenging as it coincided with his growing career in the public eye. In the powerful 2023 memoir, the Juno star recounts the gender dysphoria he experienced starting in childhood, the pressure he felt to conform to Hollywood’s standard model of a young starlet, and, ultimately, the freedom that came with coming out as trans and living his truth.

Paris Hilton’s life may seem on the surface to be the stuff of real-life fairytales, but in this 2023 book, she exposes the much less glamorous truth underneath all the diamonds and “That’s hot”s. Among the heavier topics covered are Hilton’s experiences with ADHD, her treatment in the controversial “troubled teen industry,” and her journey to self-acceptance after living behind the facade of her public persona for years.

All three of Carrie Fisher’s memoirs are worth a read, but this one, her final work, paints an especially intimate portrait of the iconic actor. Released just a few weeks before her untimely 2016 death, it pulls heavily from the diaries Fisher kept from early in her career and sees her piecing together that roller-coaster-like era of her life—including the groundbreaking reveal that she’d had a brief affair with her Star Wars costar Harrison Ford while filming the first movie in the series.

Before Abbott Elementary became a runaway success, the show’s creator and star, Quinta Brunson, was a social media star and BuzzFeed content creator. She describes those experiences in this 2021 essay collection, which varies in tone from hilarious descriptions of her online and IRL escapades to more serious, thoughtful ruminations on mental health and modern-day America.

In the memoir genre, Britney Spears ’ book was outsold in 2023 only by Prince Harry ’s tell-all about his life in the royal family. In addition to being filled with truly wild stories from throughout his life, Spare was particularly shocking in how Harry so candidly pulled back the curtain on purported rifts and dysfunction among the normally tight-lipped British royals.

In addition to being a beloved actor, Stanley Tucci is also known as a world-class foodie. After putting out a couple of cookbooks, he took his food writing escapades even deeper, publishing this book, filled with the stories of significant foods and meals throughout his life, in 2021.

Minka Kelly’s breakout role—as the wealthy “golden girl” Lyla Garrity on Friday Night Lights —was a far cry from her own upbringing, as, in addition to being raised by a mother who struggled with addiction, she was also bullied at school and experienced abuse at the hands of her high school boyfriend. She opened up about it all in this 2023 memoir, which she’s described as a tribute to working-class single mothers like her own “who were dealt a bad hand.”

King of Queens star Leah Remini made headlines a decade ago when she publicly split from the Church of Scientology after many years as a loyal adherent. Here, she offers the whole story in eye-opening detail, spanning her first introductions to the church, her rise through the ranks, and, eventually, the questions that got her labeled a “Suppressive Person” and cut her off from her friends and family.

The subtitle of this book is “stories that are funny, complicated, and true,” and that’s exactly what Gabrielle Union provides. Her sharply written essay collection spans a variety of topics, including her experiences growing up Black in a predominantly white neighborhood and being a working woman in Hollywood and beyond.

Among the most anticipated celeb memoirs of all time, Spears’ 2023 book gave new insight into many of the ups and downs of her life so meticulously documented by the tabloids for the last two decades. In it, the pop star delves into her high-profile relationships , her experience of motherhood, and, of course, the long-running conservatorship that kept her under her father’s thumb for many years.

Stay In The Know

Marie Claire email subscribers get intel on fashion and beauty trends, hot-off-the-press celebrity news, and more. Sign up here.

Andrea Park is a Chicago-based writer and reporter with a near-encyclopedic knowledge of the extended Kardashian-Jenner kingdom, early 2000s rom-coms and celebrity book club selections. She graduated from the Columbia School of Journalism in 2017 and has also written for W, Brides, Glamour, Women's Health, People and more.

“I told her it couldn’t be undone now,” Dickie Arbiter said of the infamous 1992 tell-all.

By Rachel Burchfield Published 1 July 24

After the quip, Timberlake added an “I’m just kidding” before quickly moving on and away from the subject.

Even the biggest cinephiles may have missed some of these under-the-radar films.

By Katherine J. Igoe Published 1 July 24

The actress and best-selling author spoke to editor-in-chief Nikki Ogunnaike for 'Marie Claire' podcast "Nice Talk."

By Sadie Bell Published 20 June 24

The author and showrunner discusses turning her acclaimed 2019 novel into a Hulu miniseries.

By Quinci LeGardye Published 7 June 24

From boy-meets-girl beach reads to queer retellings of classic lit.

By Andrea Park Published 6 June 24

The hit sitcom was on for a whopping 10 seasons, so not every episode can stand the test of time.

By Katherine J. Igoe Published 6 June 24

You won't be able to put down these moving memoirs and touching romances.

By Bianca Rodriguez Published 3 June 24

Consider them a form of self-care.

By Rachel Epstein Published 28 May 24

Could these BE any better?

By Katherine J. Igoe Published 6 May 24

The forthcoming book from 'We Are Not Like Them' authors Jo Piazza and Christine Pride asks the question: Who gets to make the choice to be a mom?

By Danielle McNally Published 28 November 22

• Contact Future's experts
• Advertise Online
• Terms and conditions
• Privacy policy
• Cookies policy

Marie Claire is part of Future plc, an international media group and leading digital publisher. Visit our corporate site . © Future US, Inc. Full 7th Floor, 130 West 42nd Street, New York, NY 10036.

• Share full article

Advertisement

Supported by

Thomas L. Friedman

Joe Biden Is a Good Man and a Good President. He Must Bow Out of the Race.

By Thomas L. Friedman

Opinion Columnist, reporting from Lisbon

I watched the Biden-Trump debate alone in a Lisbon hotel room, and it made me weep. I cannot remember a more heartbreaking moment in American presidential campaign politics in my lifetime, precisely because of what it revealed: Joe Biden, a good man and a good president, has no business running for re-election. And Donald Trump, a malicious man and a petty president, has learned nothing and forgotten nothing. He is the same fire hose of lies he always was, obsessed with his grievances — nowhere close to what it will take for America to lead in the 21st century.

The Biden family and political team must gather quickly and have the hardest of conversations with the president, a conversation of love and clarity and resolve. To give America the greatest shot possible of deterring the Trump threat in November, the president has to come forward and declare that he will not be running for re-election and is releasing all of his delegates for the Democratic National Convention.

The Republican Party, if its leaders had an ounce of integrity, would demand the same, but it won’t, because they don’t. That makes it all the more important that Democrats put the country’s interests first and announce that a public process will begin for different Democratic candidates to compete for the nomination — town halls, debates, meetings with donors, you name it. Yes, it could be chaotic and messy when the Democratic convention starts on Aug. 19 in Chicago, but I think the Trump threat is sufficiently grave that delegates could quickly rally around a consensus nominee.

If Vice President Kamala Harris wants to compete, she should. But voters deserve an open process in search of a Democratic presidential nominee who can unite not only the party but also the country, by offering something neither man on that Atlanta stage did on Thursday night: a compelling description of where the world is right now and a compelling vision for what America can and must do to keep leading it — morally, economically and diplomatically.

Because this is no ordinary hinge of history we are at. We are at the start of the biggest technological disruptions and the biggest climate disruption in human history. We are at the dawn of an artificial intelligence revolution that is going to change EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE — how we work, how we learn, how we teach, how we trade, how we invent, how we collaborate, how we fight wars, how we commit crimes and how we fight crimes. Maybe I missed it, but I did not hear the phrase “artificial intelligence” mentioned by either man at the debate.

If there was ever a time that the world needed an America at its best, led by its best, it is now — for great dangers and opportunities are now upon us. A younger Biden could have been that leader, but time has finally caught up with him. And that was painfully and inescapably obvious on Thursday.

We are having trouble retrieving the article content.

Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.

Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and  log into  your Times account, or  subscribe  for all of The Times.

Thank you for your patience while we verify access.

Already a subscriber?  Log in .

Want all of The Times?  Subscribe .

Updated by business owner over 3 months ago

Updates From This Business

Summer special!

Summer is here! Finish off your favorite AYCE KBBQ… read more

Join us for Father’s Day or Graduation Celebration

We’re open everyday from 11:30AM-12:00AM and we… read more

Won KBBQ is finally open in Long Island!

Finally! An authentic AYCE KBBQ spot has arrived in… read more

Popular dishes

View full menu

Steamed Egg

Beef Thin Brisket

Top Blade Steak

People also searched for

restaurants good for groups

dine-in restaurants

private dining

restaurants

Location & Hours

Suggest an edit

125 Old Country Rd

Carle Place, NY 11514

Amenities and More

Powered by Health Department Intelligence

16 More Attributes

Ask the Community

Ask a question

Got a question about Won KBBQ ? Ask the Yelp community!

Recommended Reviews