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How to Prevent Bullying

Parents, school staff, and other caring adults have a role to play in preventing bullying. They can: 

• Help kids understand bullying. Talk about what bullying is and how to stand up to it safely. Tell kids bullying is unacceptable. Make sure kids know how to get help.
• Keep the lines of communication open . Check in with kids often. Listen to them. Know their friends, ask about school, and understand their concerns.
• Encourage kids to do what they love. Special activities, interests, and hobbies can boost confidence, help kids make friends, and protect them from bullying behavior.
• Model how to treat others with kindness and respect.

Help Kids Understand Bullying

Kids who know  what bullying is can better identify it. They can talk about bullying if it happens to them or others. Kids need to know ways to safely stand up to bullying and how to get help.

• Encourage kids to speak to a trusted adult if they are bullied or see others being bullied. The adult can give comfort, support, and advice, even if they can’t solve the problem directly. Encourage the child to  report bullying  if it happens.
• Talk about  how to stand up to kids who bully . Give tips, like using humor and saying “stop” directly and confidently. Talk about what to do if those actions don’t work, like walking away
• Talk about strategies for staying safe, such as staying near adults or groups of other kids.
• Urge them to help kids who are bullied  by showing kindness or getting help.
• Watch the short webisodes and discuss them - PDF with kids.

Keep the Lines of Communication Open

Research tells us that children really do look to parents and caregivers for advice and help on tough decisions. Sometimes spending 15 minutes a day talking can reassure kids that they can talk to their parents if they have a problem. Start conversations about daily life and feelings with questions like these:

• What was one good thing that happened today? Any bad things?
• What is lunch time like at your school? Who do you sit with? What do you talk about?
• What is it like to ride the school bus?
• What are you good at? What would do you like best about yourself?

Talking about bullyin g directly is an important step in understanding how the issue might be affecting kids. There are no right or wrong answers to these questions, but it is important to encourage kids to answer them honestly. Assure kids that they are not alone in addressing any problems that arise. Start conversations about bullying with questions like these:

• What does “bullying” mean to you?
• Describe what kids who bully are like. Why do you think people bully?
• Who are the adults you trust most when it comes to things like bullying?
• Have you ever felt scared to go to school because you were afraid of bullying? What ways have you tried to change it?
• What do you think parents can do to help stop bullying?
• Have you or your friends left other kids out on purpose? Do you think that was bullying? Why or why not?
• What do you usually do when you see bullying going on?
• Do you ever see kids at your school being bullied by other kids? How does it make you feel?
• Have you ever tried to help someone who is being bullied? What happened? What would you do if it happens again?

Get more ideas for talking with children - PDF about life and about bullying. If concerns come up,  be sure to respond .

There are simple ways that parents and caregivers can keep up-to-date with kids’ lives. 

• Read class newsletters and school flyers. Talk about them at home.
• Check the school website
• Go to school events
• Greet the bus driver
• Meet teachers and counselors at “Back to School” night or reach out by email
• Share phone numbers with other kids’ parents

Teachers and school staff also have a role to play. 

Encourage Kids to Do What They Love

Help kids take part in activities, interests, and hobbies they like. Kids can volunteer, play sports, sing in a chorus, or join a youth group or school club. These activities give kids a chance to have fun and meet others with the same interests. They can build confidence and friendships that help protect kids from bullying.

Model How to Treat Others with Kindness and Respect

Kids learn from adults’ actions. By treating others with kindness and respect, adults show the kids in their lives that there is no place for bullying. Even if it seems like they are not paying attention, kids are watching how adults manage stress and conflict, as well as how they treat their friends, colleagues, and families.

• Our Mission

5 Ways to Stop Bullying and Move into Action

With daily news reports about the devastating impact on students who have been relentlessly bullied, teachers find themselves on the front line in addressing bullying and intolerance.

It is time to move into action. Not In Our School offers solutions-based strategies and tools for change to a network of schools that are working to create safe, inclusive and accepting climates. The core ideas and actions of Not In Our School include:

Identification of Problems of Intolerance and Bullying

The focus is on problems that result from students bullying, harassing or being exclusionary and hateful. Often, harassment is based on gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, appearance, or disability. The first step is to start with a dialogue about the particular problem. Start with a lesson on mapping bully zones .

Solutions Defined by Students and Peer-to-Peer Actions

Students are supported in defining the problems and solutions needed to incorporate peer-to-peer actions, make their schools safe and help bystanders gather the courage to become "upstanders." A student-led anti-bullying assembly is a powerful way to encourage everyone to get involved.

Collective Voice

The entire school community unites to say Not in Our School . This could take many forms -- buttons, banners, slogans, t-shirts, pledges, assemblies and school-wide activities -- but it needs to grow out of authentic discussion and efforts to create a safe and welcoming environment for students of all backgrounds and gender identities. We've created a quick-start download to help launch this effort at your school.

Many activities have been successfully implemented in schools and may be viewed in videos with lesson guides on the Not In Our School website. An array of testimonials from administrators, teachers, and students are available as well.

What is the Urgency?

In three horrifying hate crimes by teens and young adults, a 21-year-old man killed nine African Americans during a bible study group in Charleston, South Carolina in 2015; and high school students murdered a transgender Latina youth in Newark, California in 2002, and a Latino man in Patchogue, New York in 2008. As many as 20 people were involved in or stood and watched the gang rape of a 15-year-old girl outside a Richmond, California high school homecoming dance in 2009. Every day, news outlets report cases of youth who are bullied because they are perceived to be gay.

Bullying can lead to serious emotional problems, multiple school absences, and higher risk factors for suicide. These incidents have raised national awareness with anti-bullying laws in all 50 states that require schools to take immediate action regarding bullying. According to a UCLA psychology study, 70.6 percent of teens have seen bullying occur in their schools. But if someone intervenes, the bullying stops within 10 seconds . Additionally, research from scholars at University of California - Davis found that approaches to bullying and harassment have a better chance of success if bystanders, who make up the vast majority, are the focus of efforts to shift social norms. Interestingly, students seeking to move up the social ladder engage in acts of social cruelty, erroneously believing that it will increase their status. In our PBS film Not In Our Town: Class Actions , middle school students take the lead in educating their peers and their teachers in a NIOS anti-bullying initiative that reached 50,000 students following two suicides of local youth in Lancaster, California.

Five Practical Ways to Stop Bullying and Intolerance

1) Recognize and Respond

Bullying and intolerance manifest as verbal, written or physical acts that harm another person.

• Educate students, parents and staff about taking bullying seriously and how to recognize it. Make an action plan to respond swiftly to incidents and daily teasing .
• Identify and monitor places where most bullying happens (e.g., on the way to and from school, in the cafeteria, and on the school yard.)

2) Create Dialogue

Create opportunities for open dialogue with youth about bullying and intolerance. Let students lead through peer-to-peer action.

• Provide opportunities for students to share their feelings, problems or ideas.
• Get students involved in organizing anti-bullying forums where they resolve problems.

3) Encourage Bystanders to Become "Upstanders"

Upstanders are people who stand up for themselves and others.

• Model ways for young people to intervene and speak up. Practice with role-playing .
• Help youth develop effective phrases to reject negative comments or social media posts.
• Have older students help younger students learn to speak up .

4) Foster Safety and Inclusion

Foster identify safe and welcoming environments that promote inclusion and acceptance, places where students feel everyone is respected and their identity is valued.

• Connect with young people and create the trust that will help them come forward if they are being bullied.
• Listen to them, pay attention and offer support when students are upset or sad.

5) Educate Your Community

Partner with others to take joint action in educating students, teachers and parents about bullying in your school and community.

• Create a coalition of elected, school and civic community leaders to sign a school-wide pledge to say No Bullying: Not In Our School/Not In Our Town.
• Sponsor a "Not In Our Schools" Week with buttons, banners, slogans, t-shirts and school-wide activities .

Not in Our School as a movement and campaign is an effort that asks everyone to change the atmosphere that can lead to bullying and intolerance. Although the process can begin with these five steps, a safer climate for students does not happen overnight. It requires a sustained and collaborative effort of students, parents, educators and community members who work together to model and practice empathy, thoughtful responses and respect for different backgrounds and perspectives. It grows out of authentic discussion and efforts to create a safe and welcoming environment for students of all backgrounds and gender identities. In this lesson idea, " New Immigrants Share Their Stories " students may begin to think about their own relationships in the community.

School needs to be a place where students discover their identities, and where each student feels that a unique identity is an asset to him or her -- and to the world. They need to feel emotionally comfortable in a warm and "identity safe" environment where stereotypes and stereotype threat (the fear of being judged by a negative stereotype) are addressed. Efforts to build empathy and involve students in the process of change can shift the school culture to one where offending or hurting someone else, either in person or online, is not seen as cool. The whole culture can become a warm, caring environment where bullying is much less likely to occur.

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10 Ways to Help Your Child Overcome Bullying

There’s nothing worse than discovering your tween or teen has been targeted by a bully. As a parent, you may experience an entire range of emotions including anger, fear, pain, confusion and maybe even embarrassment. But regardless of what you are feeling, overcoming bullying requires immediate action on your part.

Bullying is not something that goes away on its own and it’s not something kids can just “work out.” Even if you are not sure if your child is being bullied, your participation in the situation is crucial to a positive outcome.

Here are 10 steps you can take to help your child overcome bullying.

Create an Environment Where Your Tween or Teen Feels Safe Talking to You

Make sure your teen or tween feels comfortable sharing with you. Avoid having an emotional reaction and don’t shame your child for being bullied. Instead, ask questions in a calm manner gathering as many details as you can. Applaud your tween or teen’s courage in telling you about the incident. This not only encourages future disclosures but also helps build a stronger relationship between the two of you.

Make a Commitment to Help Resolve the Issue

It’s always a good idea to ask for your child’s opinion before you go straight to teachers or administrators. Sometimes a tween or teen will be afraid of retaliation and you need to be sensitive to this concern when addressing the issue. If there is a fear of retaliation, you will need to be discreet in talking with school authorities and be sure they will do the same. Make sure they will not put your child at risk by calling both kids into the office at the same time or asking them to sit down with the guidance counselor together.

Discuss the Bullying Incidents in Detail With School Personnel

Be sure to bring notes about when and where the bullying took place. The more concrete documentation you can provide, the better. Also, ask them to share the school’s bullying policy and stress that you want to partner with the school to see that the issue is resolved.  

Emphasize That Your Goal Is to See That Your Child Feels Safe at School

Ask the principal and guidance counselor about how this will be accomplished. For example, what other adults, like duty aids, physical education teachers, bus drivers, hallway monitors, and cafeteria staff, will be notified to be on alert? Can your child have a new class schedule or a new locker assignment? In other words, what steps can the school take to ensure your child’s safety? It’s very hard for a child to heal if the school environment feels threatening or hostile. Even if the bullying has stopped, being around the bully may still cause your tween or teen anxiety.

Consider Outside Counseling

Bullying can affect your child in a number of ways and regaining self-confidence is a process that may require outside intervention. A counselor also can assess your tween or teen for depression and thoughts of suicide.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.

Even if you suspect your child is fine, never underestimate the power of bullying. Kids have taken drastic measures to escape the pain it causes including committing suicide without ever admitting the hurt they were feeling.

Encourage Your Tween or Teen to Stick With a Friend at School

Having a friend at lunch, in the hallways, while riding the bus and during the walk home is always a good idea. Bullies are more likely to target kids when they are alone. If finding a friend is an issue, consider driving your child to and from school and ask the school if they have a mentor or someone who can be available to your child.  

Teach Your Tween or Teen Skills for Overcoming the Negative Impact of Bullying

One way to do this is to emphasize your child’s strengths, skills, talents, and positive attributes. Then, help your child find activities and events that help build on those strengths. Some parents have found that Tae Kwon Do or a self-defense class helps kids develop self-confidence.

Keep the Lines of Communication Open With Your Child

Be deliberate in asking about your tween or teen’s day and acknowledge any negative feelings or emotions. Watch for signs that your child is being bullied again — either by the same person or a new person. For non-bullying incidents, you also may want to brainstorm strategies for dealing with difficult peer situations. If your child is getting outside counseling, the counselor can give you additional strategies on actively listening and communicating with your child as well.

Foster Opportunities for Socializing With Friends Outside of School

Encourage your tween or teen to invite friends over, to the movies or other fun activity. By doing so, you are helping your child develop a strong support system. If your child needs help finding friends look for opportunities within your child’s circle of interests. Keep in mind kids who have friends are less likely to be targeted by bullies. And if they are targeted, having friends helps ease the negative effects.

Follow up With the School to Ensure That the Bullying Has Been Resolved

If the bullying hasn’t been resolved, or if the school is not taking the situation seriously, you may want to consider removing your child from the situation. Is the bullying serious enough that you can involve law enforcement? Can your tween or teen attend another school? Are there options for online learning programs that are done at home? It’s important that your tween or teen feels like they have options. Feeling like there are no options or that the bullying must be tolerated, leads to feelings of hopeless, depression and even suicide.  

Hale R, Fox CL, Murray M. " As a Parent You Become a Tiger": Parents Talking about Bullying at Schoo l.  J Child Fam Stud . 2017;26(7):2000–2015. doi:10.1007/s10826-017-0710-z

KidsHealth. Helping Kids Deal With Bullies .

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Respond to Bullying .

Wolke D, Lereya ST. Long-term effects of bullying .  Arch Dis Child . 2015;100(9):879–885. doi:10.1136/archdischild-2014-306667

Barzilay S, Brunstein klomek A, Apter A, et al. Bullying Victimization and Suicide Ideation and Behavior Among Adolescents in Europe: A 10-Country Study . J Adolesc Health . 2017;61(2):179-186. do10.1016/j.jadohealth.2017.02.002i:

Moore B, Woodcock S, Dudley D. Developing Wellbeing Through a Randomised Controlled Trial of a Martial Arts Based Intervention: An Alternative to the Anti-Bullying Approach .  Int J Environ Res Public Health . 2018;16(1):81. doi:10.3390/ijerph16010081

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Who Is at Risk .

By Sherri Gordon Sherri Gordon, CLC is a published author, certified professional life coach, and bullying prevention expert. 

Greater Good Science Center • Magazine • In Action • In Education

Eight Keys to End Bullying

Everyone has a story when it comes to bullying. As a licensed social worker, school counselor, and national educator, I have heard many first-hand accounts of bullying, from triumphant efforts to end unwanted aggression to heart-wrenching stories of relentless torment. I am routinely appalled by how ubiquitous cruelty has become. 

Yet, despite the pain, I am hopeful. I believe we have an opportunity to change the culture of bullying among young people and I think the answer begins with those who live and work with young people every day.  It is not complicated policies or grandiose programs that make the most difference, but rather consistent, daily, nurturing acts of reaching out to both children who bully and those who are are the receiving end of cruelty that bring about the most meaningful and lasting change.

Here is an outline of key steps that have the greatest impact on helping kids, drawn from my new book, 8 Keys to End Bullying .

1. Know bullying when you see it

Bullying is clearly defined as having three elements: intentionally aggressive behavior that is repeated over time and involving an imbalance of power . It is most often used to gain social status, to maintain power and control over another, and for peer attention. 

In our culture of 24/7 news cycles and social media sound bites, we have a better opportunity than ever before to bring attention to this important issue. But when we overuse the term ‘bullying’ or make it synonymous with terms more related to everyday conflict,  we run the risk of making people so sick and tired of hearing about our issue that it loses its urgency as quickly as it rose to prominence.

It is important to distinguish behavior that rises to the level of bullying from behaviors that indicate rudeness or mean behavior so that teachers, youth workers, and parents know what to pay attention to and when to intervene.  We don’t want bullying in schools to become a “little boy who cried wolf” issue.

2. Establish connections with kids

Connections with kids are the essential prerequisite for any growth and change an adult can facilitate. When a child perceives that adults in his life are truly invested in his wellbeing and interested in his experiences, he is more willing to talk about what is going on in his life and to be open to adult feedback.

Without strong adult connections, kids that bully can act without the hindrance of adult disapproval, victims feel isolated from sources of potential support, and bystanders have no one to whom they can turn to report bullying behavior. Adults need to make it easy for kids to talk to them. Maintaining calm, expressing sympathy, thanking the child for having the strength to reach out, encouraging problem solving together, and following up later to make sure a proposed solution worked—those are all ways adults can support kids and nurture relationships that will help stop bullying.

If kids believe they are safe to reach out to adults, and that things will get better if they do, they will feel less isolated and will more likely report bullying.

3. Stop bullying whenever you see it

Most bullying goes unseen by adults—up to seventy-five percent of incidents happen in kid-only locations like the playground, bathroom, or the bus.

But when adults see something happening, they must be ready to intervene. The most effective approach to stopping bullying is often the least wordy one. In many cases, the briefer, the better. Here are some suggested statements teachers can make when they witness bullying:

• “It’s not OK to say that to someone in my classroom. Are we clear?”
• “Sending that kind of text about a classmate is unacceptable. That cannot happen again.”
• “Leaving one kid out of the group is not going to work. Let’s fix this and move on.”

The benefit of brief statements like these is that they don’t humiliate or alienate anyone. Instead, they let everyone know the teacher is paying attention, and they send a strong signal that bullying won’t be tolerated.

4. Deal directly with cyberbullying

Adults have made a giant misstep in recent years by choosing not to take responsibility for responding to aggression that occurs through technology. School personnel say they can’t do anything because it didn’t occur at school; law enforcement say they can’t get involved unless there’s a clear crime; and parents don’t feel they can keep up with what their kids are doing online. This across-the-board abdication of responsibility by adults have given kids who bully evidence that they can control peer culture online, free and unfettered of adult intervention.

Cyberbullying can be distinctly harmful because it can occur anonymously and cruelty can go viral at the touch of a key. Kids find it far easier to be cruel when they don’t have to lock eyes with the object of their viciousness. There is no safe place for victims, because the online attack can happen without the victim being in the same place as the perpetrator.

One of the most important things that adults can do to prevent bullying online is to maintain strong connections with kids offline. Young people will never feel safe talking to adults about what is happening in cyberspace if their real-world relationships are not already strong.  Parents also play a key role in teaching kids commonsense standards for the use of technology, basing rules on values of kindness and compassion, and enforcing these agreements in consistently caring ways.

5. Build social and emotional skills

Stopping bullying means more than catching the perpetrators in the act. Instead, it begins by creating overall positive school cultures. That means taking concrete actions to champion acceptance, honor diversity, foster cooperation, establish connections with kids, and facilitate open communication among staff and students.

It also involves social and emotional learning. Bullying prevention programs that focus on building social and emotional competencies in all kids achieve better results than interventions aimed only at kids who bully. Social Emotional Learning (SEL) programs have been shown to create more positive peer relationships, build higher levels of caring and empathy, increase social engagement, and reduce problem behaviors. What’s more, on average students who receive SEL programming academically outperform their peers and graduate at higher rates.

SEL programming in schools can help prevent bullying in many ways: by increasing kids’ emotional regulation, by instructing kids on how to manage stress and control their impulses; by increasing empathy; by teaching problem-solving skills; by practicing assertive communication, and by fostering friendship skills.

6. Turn bystanders Into buddies

Research suggests that peers are present during nine out of every 10 incidents of bullying—but intervene on behalf of victims less than 20 percent of the time. When peers do step in to stop bullying, however, the episode stops within 10 seconds more than half of the time. Therefore, it’s incumbent upon adults to figure out best ways to encourage peers to intervene.

For kids to become empowered, they need to believe that stopping bullying starts with them. They must learn to feel a connection to a bullied child, understand that their friendships can endure doing the right thing, know how to use assertive communication, and feel confident that their intervention will have a positive impact.

Kids with high social status often make the best interveners, because of their outsized influence on the peer group and their relative immunity from the backlash of vengeful aggressors. Some of the most effective programs in schools build on this principle, pairing high-status kids with vulnerable peers. This experience benefits both the potential victim, who gains social status, and the high status kid, who learns the benefits of kindness and compassion.

7. Reach out to kids who bully

Because bullying is marked by repeated acts of aggression that intentionally harm others and is committed by individuals who hold more power than their victims, bullying behavior is predictive of troubling mental health and behavioral outcomes, like substance abuse, depression, and criminal behavior. For safety reasons alone, professionals and parents should reach out to kids who bully while they are young and their behavior is still highly changeable.

When approached by adults who are ready to listen, young people who bully tend to talk; when approached by adults who are ready to accuse, they tend to be defensive. Too often what’s meted out to kids who behave badly has more to do with fulfilling an adult’s need to win than with meeting a child’s need to learn, make amends, and grow. Instead of telling kids what they shouldn’t do, it’s more effective to say what they should do—to teach them appropriate social skills and ways of managing conflicts. Punishment alone does nothing to prevent future bullying and can, in fact, aggravate a bad situation.

8. Keep the conversation going

Many adults who desperately and genuinely want to do right by kids give up on even attempting to manage incidents of bullying because they feel so overwhelmed by the complexity of the challenge. There are other adults who operate strictly from a risk management perspective, going through the motions of intervening in bullying without assessing if their intervention is effective or sufficient.

But this is not enough to keep kids safe. Instead, opening up an ongoing dialogue with kids about social conflicts, friendships, and navigating difficulties they may face is more effective, because it shows you care and that you understand their world.

Maintaining an open dialogue about bullying and making sure we continue to shine a bright light on it is the only way we will bring an end to this long-standing problem. Only by keeping the conversation going will we be able to deter bullying in the future and keep all children safe.

About the Author

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Fast Facts: Preventing Bullying

Bullying is a form of youth violence and an adverse childhood experience  (ACE). CDC defines bullying as any unwanted aggressive behavior(s) by another youth or group of youths, who are not siblings or current dating partners, that involves an observed or perceived power imbalance, and is repeated multiple times or is highly likely to be repeated. Bullying may inflict harm or distress on the targeted youth including physical, psychological, social, or educational harm. Common types of bullying include:

• Physical such as hitting, kicking, and tripping
• Verbal including name-calling and teasing
• Relational/social such as spreading rumors and leaving out of the group
• Damage to property of the victim

Bullying can also occur through technology, which is called electronic bullying or cyberbullying. A young person can be a perpetrator, a victim, or both (also known as “bully/victim”). For more information about bullying definitions please see Bullying Surveillance Among Youths: Uniform Definitions for Public Health and Recommended Data Elements, Version 1 [8.64 MB, 116 Pages, 508] .

Bullying is widespread in the United States. Bullying negatively impacts all youth involved including those who are bullied, those who bully others, and those who witness bullying, known as bystanders.

• Bullying is common . About 1 in 5 high school students reported being bullied on school property. More than 1 in 6 high school students reported being bullied electronically in the last year.
• Some youth experience bullying more than others . Nearly 40% of high school students who identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual and about 33% of those who were not sure of their sexual identity experienced bullying at school or electronically in the last year, compared to 22% of heterosexual high school students. About 30% of female high school students experienced bullying at school or electronically in the last year, compared to about 19% of males. Nearly 29% of White high school students experienced bullying at school or electronically in the last year compared to about 19% of Hispanic and 18% of Black high school students.
• Bullying is a frequent discipline problem . Nearly 14% of public schools report that bullying is a discipline problem occurring daily or at least once a week.
• Reports of bullying are highest in middle schools (28%) followed by high schools (16%), combined schools (12%), and primary schools (9%).
• Reports of cyberbullying are highest in middle schools (33%) followed by high schools (30%), combined schools (20%), and primary schools (5%).

Bullying can result in physical injury, social and emotional distress, self-harm, and even death. It also increases the risk for depression, anxiety, sleep difficulties, lower academic achievement, and dropping out of school. Youth who bully others are at increased risk for substance misuse, academic problems, and experiencing violence later in adolescence and adulthood. Youth who bully others and are bullied themselves suffer the most serious consequences and are at greater risk for mental health and behavioral problems.

Bullying is preventable. There are many factors that may increase or decrease the risk for perpetrating or experiencing bullying. To prevent bullying, we must understand and address the factors that put people at risk for or protect them from violence . CDC developed, Youth Violence Prevention Resource for Action [4 MB, 64 Pages] , to help communities take advantage of the best available evidence to prevent youth violence. This resource is also  Cdc-pdf available in Spanish [3.89 MB, 68 Pages, 508] and can be used as a tool in efforts to impact individual behaviors as well as the relationship, family, school, community, and societal risk and protective factors for violence. The approaches in this resource, particularly universal school-based programs that strengthen youths’ skills and modify the physical and social environment, have been shown to reduce violence and bullying or key risk factors.

Different types of violence are connected and often share root causes. Bullying is linked to other forms of violence through shared risk and protective factors . Addressing and preventing one form of violence may have an impact on preventing other forms of violence.

See Youth Violence Resources for articles, publications, data sources, and prevention resources for bullying.

• Gladden RM, Vivolo-Kantor AM, Hamburger ME, Lumpkin CD. Bullying surveillance among youths: Uniform definitions for public health and recommended data elements, Version 1.0. Atlanta, GA; National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and U.S. Department of Education; 2013. Available from https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/bullying-definitionsfinal-a.pdf.
• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Youth risk behavior surveillance—United States, 2019. Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report–Surveillance Summaries 2020; 69(SS1). Available from https://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/data/yrbs/pdf/2019/su6901-H.pdf
• Diliberti, M., Jackson, M., Correa, S., and Padgett, Z. (2019). Crime, Violence, Discipline, and Safety in U.S. Public Schools: Findings From the School Survey on Crime and Safety: 2017–18 (NCES 2019-061). U.S. Department of Education. Washington, DC: National Center for Education Statistics. Retrieved from http://nces.ed.gov/pubsearch .
• Farrington D, Baldry A. Individual risk factors for school bullying. Journal of Aggression, Conflict and Peace Research 2010; 2(1):4-16. Available from https://doi.org/10.5042/jacpr.2010.0001.
• David-Ferdon, C., Vivolo-Kantor, A. M., Dahlberg, L. L., Marshall, K. J., Rainford, N. & Hall, J. E. (2016). Youth Violence Prevention Resource for Action: A Compilation of the Best Available Evidence. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.  Note: The title of this document was changed in July 2023 to align with other Prevention Resources being developed by CDC’s Injury Center. The document was previously cited as “A Comprehensive Technical Package for the Prevention of Youth Violence and Associated Risk Behaviors.”

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10. Problem-Solving Activities

Bullying is different from other social problems children may face. For example, while conflict may be solved through negotiation and compromise, bullying cannot because it involves a power imbalance—the bully has more power than the victim. Solving a bullying problem requires analysis of the problem by the target and/or bystanders, and sometimes intervention by the teacher. Problem-solving skills can help children analyze and solve bullying problems .

Early childhood educators can help young children understand the problem of bullying and how to apply problem-solving skills to situations involving bullying. These skills include:

• Defining the problem
• Thinking of solutions
• Anticipating the likely consequences
• Choosing the most effective responses

The following activities give young children an opportunity to develop and practice the problem-solving skills they need to help prevent and stop bullying.

Activities for Teaching Problem-Solving Skills

Activity 1: What If?

In this activity, children are presented with scenarios describing various bullying problems (physical, verbal, and relational); their task is to discuss and practice the best response to each situation. Young children are more likely to think of and use their problem-solving skills in bullying situations if they have an opportunity to practice them, with adult guidance.

Read the following scenarios:

• Physical bullying: Whenever Javier sits on his favorite bench on the playground, David tells his friends, “Watch this.” David walks over to the bench and sits right next to Javier. Then he uses his body to push Javier off the end of the bench and onto the ground. David and his friends laugh at Javier, and Javier starts to cry.
• Verbal bullying: Grace visited the zoo last weekend and afterward she started calling the children in her playgroup by animal names. Grace called Erin “Hippo.” Erin’s face got red, and she left the playgroup to play by herself. Now, whenever Erin tries to rejoin the playgroup, Grace and some of the other kids call out, “Erin is a hippo,” which makes Erin very unhappy.
• Relational bullying: Shaquilla told her friends to stay away from Penny because “Penny isn’t cool.” Now, whenever Penny tries to play with Shaquilla or one of her friends, they say, “No, we’re too busy.” Penny feels left out and doesn’t know why they won’t play with her.

After reading each scenario, ask the children to think of several responses that victims and bystanders could give and the likely consequences of each response. Have children choose the best responses. Conduct role plays in which the teacher plays the role of a child who bullies, and children practice using the responses they’ve identified as effective. Make sure that children have a chance to play both victims and bystanders and that the responses include asking an adult for help.

Activity 2: Problem-Solving Team

In this activity, children use the insight and skills they gained in the What If? activity to address a variety of pre-bullying problems.

Before the activity, create “Solution Cards,” choosing from the solutions below. Write each solution on a large index card, leaving space for the children to illustrate it.

Tell children that they will work together as a problem-solving team to solve a pre-bullying problem—a hurtful behavior (verbal, physical, or relational) that, if not stopped, may turn into bullying. Give children an example of what a pre-bullying behavior might look like:

If two children want to play with the same toy, this turns into pre-bullying when one child demands the toy or takes it by force and the other child gives in.

Explain that when you’re faced with a problem, there are things you should tell yourself and there are things you should tell others. Here are some statements that everyone involved in a bullying situation can say to themselves or say to others. Read the Solution Cards aloud, and have the children illustrate each card.

Present the children with a pre-bullying problem that might occur in their classroom (without using real names). Talk about how your problem-solving team might solve this problem, and have the children select the Solution Cards that would work best to solve that problem. Remind them that different problems require different solutions.

Repeat the activity with different pre-bullying problems, and have children think of the best solutions for each role in the problem: kids who bully, kids who are targets, and kids who are bystanders.

Conclude the activity by displaying all the Solution Cards. Explain that these cards can help everyone remember the variety of solutions for solving pre-bullying problems.

Solution Cards

For kids who bully:

Tell yourself:

• “When I’m feeling mad, take three deep breaths."
• “Treat my friends the way I want to be treated.”

Tell others:

• “Sorry, I didn’t know I hurt you.”
• “No hurtful name calling.”

For kids who are targets:

• “Stand up for myself.”
• “Don’t fight back.”
• “Walk away.”
• “Ask for help.”
• “Sorry, no, I’m playing with this now.”
• “You can’t say I can’t play.”
• “Wait, it’s my turn now.”

For kids who are bystanders:

• “I will stand up for my friends.”
• “I have the power to help.”
• “I’ll sit with you at snack time.”
• “I’ll play with you at recess.”
• “I’ll be your friend.”
• “Let’s get help together.”

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How to Stop Bullying

Last Updated: January 31, 2024 Approved

This article was co-authored by Mental Health America . Mental Health America is the nation's leading community-based nonprofit dedicated to addressing the needs of those living with mental illness and promoting overall mental health for all. Their work is guided by the Before Stage 4 philosophy – that mental health conditions should be treated long before they reach the most critical points in the disease process. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. This article has 52 testimonials from our readers, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed 1,182,935 times.

Bullying can take many forms, but all forms of bullying cause harm or worse. Even if there is no physical contact between a bully and their target, people who are bullied may carry the emotional damage of what they experienced for the rest of their lives. That is why it is important to put a stop to bullying. If you are being bullied, then there are things you can do to deal with the bully. If you witness bullying , then there are things you can do to stand up for someone else. You can also work to raise awareness among your peers and learn about the different ways that you can ask for help.

Things You Should Know

• Deal with a bully by walking away, reporting the bully, and asking them to stop if it’s safe. If you see someone being bullied, step in right away and separate them.
• Set a good example for others and stand up for people who need help. Talk to your school administrators if you need help or call law enforcement.
• Protect yourself from cyberbullying by keeping your passwords secret, blocking bullies, and reporting it to service providers.

Dealing with a Bully

• Try to walk towards other people, such as towards a teacher or someone else who will not put up with bullying.

• Find a teacher, parent, school counselor, or someone else who can help you and immediately tell them what the bully has been saying or doing to you. If the bullying occurs somewhere else, call the police or get a cop's attention if one is nearby.
• Try saying something like, “Joyce is bullying me. She keeps making fun of my weight and she will not stop. I have asked her to stop, but she is still doing it. I think I need some help to make it stop.”
• You can also write a note to explain what is happening. Deliver the note to your teacher, school counselor, or principal.
• Tell someone else if the first person you tell does not do anything about the bully. Don’t accept that you will have to put up with the bullying.

Tip: If you’re an adult dealing with bullying the workplace, talk to your supervisor or someone in human resources. You might find it helpful to keep a written record of your experiences or involve a third party who’s witnessed the bullying. [2] X Research source

• Don’t try to confront the bully if you feel like doing so might put you in danger.
• To use assertive body language, stand up tall and face the bully. Look the bully in the eye when you are speaking to them. Don’t look down and don’t try to make yourself smaller, such as by folding your arms or bringing your knees in close to your body. Pull yourself up to your full height, keep your arms at your sides, and your feet about shoulder width apart.
• Keep your request short and direct. Try saying something like, “Stop it, Jennifer,” or, “Cut it out, Craig.” As you say this, make sure that you look the bully directly in the eye and speak in a calm, clear voice.
• Don’t compliment or insult the bully. If you say nice things to a bully after they have been insulting you, putting you down, or physically threatening you, then this will only increase their sense of power. Calling the bully names may enrage them and increase their efforts to hurt you.

• Take a few deep breaths and think about something that makes you happy, such as getting a good grade on a test, playing with your dog, or something fun that you are planning to do with your family over the weekend. Doing this may help you to take a step back from the situation and avoid reacting to your emotions. Make sure that you keep your eyes open and maintain eye contact with the bully as you do this.
• Respond to the bully in a calm way. For example, you might say, "Jack, I know you think you're funny, but you're not. Stop." Or, "Stop now or I'm asking the teacher to move you away from me."
• Be sure to talk about how the bully made you feel with someone else later on. Talk with your parents, a school counselor, or a teacher.

Helping Someone Who Is Being Bullied

• You can try standing up for the person and saying something like, “Stop it, Lisa!” Don’t insult the bully or use physical force to stop them from bullying the person.
• If you are not able to intervene or if intervening does not work, then get help from someone. For example, if you see someone being bullied on the playground, then run and get a teacher or recess monitor and tell them what is happening.
• Don’t wait until later to tell someone. If you wait, the person may get hurt.
• Tell a teacher or counselor about any ongoing bullying that you know about. Some forms of bullying, such as exclusion or subtle remarks, may go unnoticed by teachers.

• Ask each person what happened.
• You can also talk to other kids who witnessed the bullying, but don’t do this in front of the bully or the person who was being bullied.
• If you didn’t witness the bullying yourself, take your time sorting out the details of what happened. Do not try to figure everything out on the spot. Talk with both parties if you can, ask witnesses what they saw, and then put all of the pieces together.

• A weapon is involved.
• There are threats involved.
• The violence or threats are motivated by hate, such as racism or homophobia.
• The bully has done serious physical harm to the person.
• Sexual abuse is involved.
• Anything illegal has happened, such as blackmail or robbery.

Did you know? The harmful effects of bullying can be severe and long-term. Kids who experience bullying are more likely to struggle with depression, anxiety, and panic disorders as they get older. [8] X Research source

Setting a Good Example

• Be careful teasing someone unless you're good enough friends with them to know that they won't take it personally.
• You should also avoid spreading rumors or gossiping about people.
• Avoid talking about people online or sharing pictures of them without their permission.

• If your friends start gossiping about someone, make it clear that you don't participate in that kind of thing. Try saying something like, “I don’t like gossip. Can we talk about something else?”
• If you're part of a group that's intentionally leaving someone else out, tell the group you want to include everyone, because it's the right thing to do. Try saying something like, “I think we should be nicer to Catherine. It must be hard to be the new girl in school.”
• If you see someone getting picked on and fear for that person's safety, tell a teacher or school administrator right away. Try saying something like, “I am worried about David. I have noticed that some of the older boys harass him when he is walking home from school.”

• Try starting a conversation with your friends about bullying. You might say something like, “Did you know that bullying is still happening at our school? I think it is terrible and I would like to do something to stop it.”
• Talk with your teacher or school counselor about ways you can help. For example, you might be invited to give a presentation on bullying in your class or you might be able to help organize an event to raise awareness about bullying.

You can be an anti-bullying influencer. By taking a stand against bullying at your school or in your peer group, you can make a real difference! Studies show that bullying incidents drop significantly when schools put student-led anti-bullying programs in place. [9] X Research source

Protecting Yourself from Cyberbullying

• Think about who sees what you post online. Complete strangers? Friends? Friends of friends? Privacy settings let you control who sees what.

• Block the bully on instant messaging and email.
• Unfriend and block the person on your social network accounts and use the online privacy settings to ensure that the person can’t contact you again.
• Block the person's phone number to stop intimidating texts and phone calls.

Asking for Help

• Know that other kids in your school are experiencing the same problem, and rules and protocols are in place for good reason.
• If you're a parent, set up a meeting with the school administrator instead of trying to handle the situation on your own.

• Physical violence. Bullying can lead to real physical harm. If you're worried that your health or life is in danger, call the police.
• Stalking and use of intimidation. If someone is violating your personal space and intimidating you, that's a crime.
• Death threats or threats of violence.
• Sharing of potentially humiliating photos or videos without your consent, including sexually explicit photos or videos.
• Hate-related actions or threats.

Tip: If you’re a kid experiencing this kind of bullying in school, try asking an adult (such as a teacher, administrator, or playground monitor) for help, first. If the bullying takes place outside of school, you may need to call the police directly, or ask an adult to call for you.

Expert Q&A

• If you see someone being bullied, tell a teacher or another trusted adult. Make sure that that person is actually being bullied, and not just playing around with their friends. Thanks Helpful 3 Not Helpful 0
• Don’t ignore bullying. This will only allow it to progress more. Thanks Helpful 3 Not Helpful 1

Tips from our Readers

• Remember that you won't be in this situation forever. For the people who are getting bullied by others, just remember that you are more than what others are saying about you! You're perfect just the way you are!
• Remember that people usually bully because they're jealous of you or insecure with themselves. Try your best to ignore them or act like you don't care and they will probably leave you alone.
• Don't become a bystander. If you see bullying happening and do nothing, you are also part of the problem. Go to an school administrator or trusted adult and tell them what's going on.

• Continued bullying that causes severe emotional or physical damage may be grounds for taking legal action. If you’re an adult dealing with severe bullying, or if your child is being bullied and the measures taken by the school and the bully's parents are not sufficient to correct the problem, you might want to consider getting a lawyer involved. Thanks Helpful 3 Not Helpful 1

You Might Also Like

• ↑ http://www.kzoo.edu/psych/stop_bullying/for_kids/what_is_a_bully.html
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-success/201611/8-keys-handling-adult-bullies
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201503/what-girls-can-say-and-do-stand-bullying
• ↑ http://www.stopbullying.gov/respond/on-the-spot/index.html
• ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/bullies.html
• ↑ https://www.sciencenewsforstudents.org/article/bullying-hurts-peer-support-really-helps

About This Article

To stop someone bullying you, try to walk away from the situation to distance yourself from them. If they don’t let you leave or they continue to harass you, try to stay calm and tell them to leave you alone. For example, you can say something like, “Stop it, Craig. You’re bothering me.” However, if you feel physically threatened by a bully, you don’t have to deal with them alone. Tell a teacher, parent, or counselor as soon as possible, who will help you put a stop to the bullying. It's not always easy, but try your best to ignore bullies, since they're probably just trying to get a reaction out of you. For more tips from our Mental Health co-author, including how to help someone else who is being bullied, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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How to Handle Bullying at School

Here’s what parents and teachers can do to stop bullying.

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Bullying is behavior that hurts or harms someone else, and it can be physical, emotional or psychological.

As children return to their classrooms this fall, experts say parents and educators should look for signs of bullying at school, an age-old problem that often emerges in new and different forms every year.

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"It appears that bullying went down during the pandemic," Dorothy L. Espelage, a professor at the University of North Carolina—Chapel Hill and an expert in bullying prevention, wrote in an email. "But it will likely increase or be back to our pre-COVID rates."

Bullying, or at least reported cases, likely decreased when schools were closed by the coronavirus pandemic, taking students out of close proximity and into a virtual learning environment. But many experts say a return to school will almost certainly change that trend. Some fear that face masks and other COVID-19 protection measures could become a source of bullying.

What Is Bullying?

At its most basic level, bullying is behavior that hurts or harms another person. It can be physical, emotional or psychological. It can occur between friends or within groups, either in-person or online. Bullying can be overt and direct, with physical behavior such as fighting, hitting or name-calling, or it can be covert, with social interactions such as gossip or exclusion.

Roughly 1 in 5 children ages 12 to 18 are bullied in U.S. schools, according to data released in 2019 by the National Center for Education Statistics . Bullying is more prevalent in middle school than in high school, with almost 1 in 3 students reporting incidents in sixth grade. Overall, girls are more likely to report bullying, with almost 24% doing so, compared with about 17% of boys.

Experts say there are many effective ways to handle bullying at school, so long as parents, teachers and administrators work together to create a safe and inclusive environment and confront problems when they arise.

"Preventing bullying is first and foremost an adult responsibility," Ellen Walser deLara, author of Bullying Scars: The Impact on Adult Life and Relationships , wrote in an email.

Diagnose the Problem

To handle bullying at school, adults must first be attuned to the symptoms. A change in a child's behavior or mood is often a sign, according to Bailey Huston, coordinator of PACER's National Bullying Prevention Center. One example might be "a usually happy child who loves getting on the bus each morning suddenly demanding that their parents give them a ride to school," she wrote in an email.

Other potential indicators may include avoiding school; a decline in academic performance or grades; an inability to concentrate; unexplained headaches and stomachaches; sleeping problems; or increased anxiety, isolation or aggression, Huston says.

"Parents need to pay attention to bullying as a possible cause if their children's behavior changes from a positive place among their friends to an avoidant, sad, angry or anxious demeanor," Joel Haber, a psychologist and author who is an expert on bullying prevention, wrote in an email.

Parents can ask open-ended questions to help their children discuss a bullying situation. Start with questions that address the child's environment, Huston says. For example, "How was your bus ride today?" or, "Have you ever seen anyone being mean to someone on the bus?" Then move to questions that directly affect the child, such as, "Are you ever scared to get on the bus?" or, "Has anyone ever been mean to you on the bus?"

Take the Lead at School

Experts say that parents can and should take the lead in asserting that bullying behavior is not acceptable at school. They should communicate with other parents, share information and talk to teachers and administrators when they learn about problems.

According to experts, parents are well within their rights to ask that the school take measures to address bullying and provide a safe environment. Many schools are proactive and may already have a policy in place.

"Schools that create a culture of inclusion, train staff about bullying and follow clear protocols rewarding efforts to create a community for all faculty and students have better outcomes against bullying and greater safety," Haber says. "Schools that ignore bullying in their student body and faculty and don't take steps to protect the community allow those who bully a place to use their power to marginalize others. They create a culture where those toward the bottom of the social ladder are victimized."

Create an Intervention Plan

Experts say that parents should not teach children to fight back with aggression, nor expect them to figure out how to handle bullying at school on their own. Instead, parents should work with their child and create a plan together to address both the immediate problem and long-term solutions.

Children should know that they can walk away or avoid bullying situations, and that they can and should talk to an adult – a teacher, parent or anyone else – as soon as possible. There should be no negative connotation or consequences associated with sharing information about a bullying incident.

Make sure the plan incorporates the child's strengths and abilities, in order to help build self-confidence and resilience. The agreed-upon strategies should then be shared with others involved in the child's life, such as teachers, administrators, coaches, aftercare professionals and any other adults who interact with the child regularly.

It is important to remember that the student who is bullying others has often been bullied themselves, notes Maria Blaeuer, director of programs and outreach at the nonprofit Advocates for Justice and Education. Any intervention around bullying should therefore involve teaching new skills and strategies to both the bully and the victim.

Encourage Peer Support

Peer support can also be a crucial piece of handling bullying at school.

"Students are powerful in bullying situations, as they often know about bullying long before adults are aware of it," Huston says. "Students telling a peer to stop bullying has much more impact than adults giving that same advice."

It's important that students know they have options when responding to bullying on behalf of a peer, and that they can pick those that feel safe for them in different situations. They can directly intervene by discouraging the person bullying, defending the target or redirecting the situation away from bullying. Other options include reporting the bullying to adults or rallying support from peers to stop the bullying.

Model Proper Behavior

Parents can also help prevent bullying by modeling proper behavior in their own power dynamics at home.

"Parents who utilize and teach empathy and compassion through their own behavior, and do not abuse others who are less powerful, are the best teachers of anti-bullying behavior," Haber says.

That same idea applies in schools, where dozens – sometimes hundreds – of professionals are often working together in close quarters. How those adults interact can have an impact on how children relate to one another.

"Teachers in school have the same opportunity to teach compassion and empathy and role-model behavior," Haber says.

Learn More About Bullying and Prevention

While it is a common occurrence, experts say that bullying can have serious consequences.

"Bullying can have lifelong effects," Haber says. "The lack of safety, connectedness, and isolation that can emerge can be life-altering."

For parents, teachers, administrators and others who want to learn more about bullying and prevention, there are many resources available:

• PACER's National Bullying Prevention Center is filled with activities that can be conducted at school, materials that can be used in a classroom setting, information on National Bullying Prevention Month in October and other resources.
• The American Society for Positive Care of Children has a downloadable resource kit.
• Stopbullying.gov contains information from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
• The National Association of School Psychologists maintains a bullying prevention page for families and educators.
• The Children's Safety Network maintains a page with information on bullying, detailed statistics and resources such as guides, webinars, infographics and publications dedicated to prevention.

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How to start solving your school bullying problem

To solve your school bullying problem, it will take a real commitment by leadership and parents to make a change to create a safe environment.

Key points: School leaders have a responsibility to address and solve bullying in their schools and districts All stakeholders and all aspects of bullying must be involved in solutions See related article: How my 5th graders are taking a stand against bullying

Student bullying is a nationwide problem. Parents are outraged and demand that school administrators evaluate their campus security protocols to keep all students alive and safe.

A southern California school district agreed to pay $27 million to settle a lawsuit brought by the family of a 13-year-old boy who died after he was  assaulted at school. On Sept. 16, 2019, two 14-year-old boys were videotaped attacking the victim outside classrooms at the school. One boy struck the teenager in the head from behind and he fell, hitting his head against a pillar. The boys then continued punching the boy, who died nine days later from a brain injury.

Last school year, a 14-year-old female student at a high school in New Jersey died by suicide two days after a video of her being viciously attacked by her bullies at school was uploaded online. The school district’s superintendent has resigned, and four girls have been criminally charged in connection with the assault.

Bullying at schools is  pervasive across the country . According to a recent national survey  report by the Boys and Girls Clubs of America , 130,000 kids and teens ages 9-18 reported some form of bullying.

This survey revealed that in the past year, 40 percent of youth said they were bullied on school property and 18 percent  of youth say they have experienced cyberbullying. Unfortunately, 37 percent  of youth say they have skipped a day of school in the last month.

Research has found that students who are bullied are more likely to experience depression and anxiety, have more health complaints, and skip or drop out of school.

Is there anything school administrators or parents can do to control this problem? The answer is yes, but it will take a real commitment by leadership and parents to make a change to create a safe environment.

Recommendations for school administrators

A comprehensive security risk assessment of each campus is needed and is designed to reduce incidents, pinpoint critical areas of vulnerability, and identify the school’s overall strengths and weaknesses. It also helps schools review existing crisis response plans to address and tackle problems such as bullying.

• Admit you have a bullying problem:  To begin with, educators need to admit the situation occurs on their campuses.
• Provide training to teachers:  Teachers and staff will need  training  on  what bullying is , what the school’s  policies and rules  are, and how to  enforce the rules .
• Work with parents:  Schools must work with parents to help them understand that bullying is a severe problem and that they should talk with their children about it.
• Develop student awareness:  Similarly, students must be made more aware of the effects that this problem can have on their classmates.
• Support LGBTQ students: Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning students should not be discriminated against due to their sexual orientation and their gender identity.
• Cyberbullying: Students need to be aware that cyberbullying includes sending, posting, or sharing negative, harmful, false, or mean content about someone else. Some cyberbullying crosses the line into unlawful or criminal behavior.
• Install security cameras:  Cameras need to be installed, especially in areas where bullying is most likely to take place: hallways, near restrooms, inside the lunchroom, gymnasium, on the playground and on school buses.
• Having direct evidence is important: Many parents insist their child would never bully another student. However, when they are shown the video evidence, most promise to work with their child at home. The video also makes it easier for the school to enforce detentions and suspensions.
• Provide  adult supervision:  Keep an adult–ideally a teacher or administrator–in the lunchroom during mealtimes, on the playgrounds during recess and in the hallways during passing periods. Most bullies are cowards and will not act up when they know they are being watched.
• Set up an anonymous tip line:  Have a  tip line  or other means of communication (text, online, etc.) that allows students, parents, teachers, staff and the community to anonymously report incidents.
• Empower teachers:  Teachers have concerns that if they report bullying, they might face severe repercussions from their administration. There needs to be a mechanism for teachers to share information about incidents and concerns outside of the normal reporting structure.

It takes planning and the will to act, but bullying can be brought under control. It takes collaboration from all individuals in the school community.

My thoughts and prayers go out to families, friends, and the community who have been impacted by bullying.

Related : 5 ways bullying changed during the pandemic

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Patrick V. Fiel Sr. is a national security advisor with many years of experience managing security and law enforcement organizations. Patrick has worked with thousands of schools providing security services and solutions. Contact him to schedule a time to discuss how he can assist your school in reducing the threat of bullying. He can be reached at (910) 789-4265 or at pvfsecurity.com.

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Cyberbullying: what is it and how to stop it, what teens want to know about cyberbullying..

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We brought together UNICEF specialists, international cyberbullying and child protection experts, and teamed up with Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok and X to answer some of the most common questions about online bullying and give advice on ways to deal with it. 

What is cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying is bullying with the use of digital technologies. It can take place on social media, messaging platforms, gaming platforms and mobile phones. It is repeated behaviour, aimed at scaring, angering or shaming those who are targeted. Examples include:

• spreading lies about or posting embarrassing photos or videos of someone on social media
• sending hurtful, abusive or threatening messages, images or videos via messaging platforms
• impersonating someone and sending mean messages to others on their behalf or through fake accounts.

Face-to-face bullying and cyberbullying can often happen alongside each other. But cyberbullying leaves a digital footprint – a record that can prove useful and provide evidence to help stop the abuse.

If you are worried about your safety or something that has happened to you online, you can seek help by calling your national helpline . If your country does not have a helpline, please urgently speak to an adult you trust or seek professional support from trained and experienced carers.

The top questions on cyberbullying

• Am I being bullied online? How do you tell the difference between a joke and bullying?
• What are the effects of cyberbullying?
• How can cyberbullying affect my mental health?
• Who should I talk to if someone is bullying me online? Why is reporting important?
• I’m experiencing cyberbullying, but I’m afraid to talk to my parents about it. How can I approach them?
• How can I help my friends report a case of cyberbullying especially if they don’t want to do it?
• How do we stop cyberbullying without giving up access to the internet?
• How do I prevent my personal information from being used to manipulate or humiliate me on social media?
• Is there a punishment for cyberbullying?
• Technology companies don’t seem to care about online bullying and harassment. Are they being held responsible?
• Are there any online anti-bullying tools for children or young people?

1. Am I being bullied online? How do you tell the difference between a joke and bullying?

Unicef: .

All friends joke around with each other, but sometimes it’s hard to tell if someone is just having fun or trying to hurt you, especially online. Sometimes they’ll laugh it off with a “just kidding,” or “don’t take it so seriously.” 

But if you feel hurt or think others are laughing at you instead of with you, then the joke has gone too far. If it continues even after you’ve asked the person to stop and you are still feeling upset about it, then this could be bullying.

And when the bullying takes place online, it can result in unwanted attention from a wide range of people including strangers. Wherever it may happen, if you are not happy about it, you should not have to stand for it.

Call it what you will – if you feel bad and it doesn’t stop, then it’s worth getting help. Stopping cyberbullying is not just about calling out bullies, it’s also about recognizing that everyone deserves respect – online and in real life.

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2. What are the effects of cyberbullying?

When bullying happens online it can feel as if you’re being attacked everywhere, even inside your own home. It can seem like there’s no escape. The effects can last a long time and affect a person in many ways:

• Mentally – feeling upset, embarrassed, stupid, even afraid or angry 
• Emotionally – feeling ashamed or losing interest in the things you love
• Physically – tired (loss of sleep), or experiencing symptoms like stomach aches and headaches 

The feeling of being laughed at or harassed by others, can prevent people from speaking up or trying to deal with the problem. In extreme cases, cyberbullying can even lead to people taking their own lives. 

Cyberbullying can affect us in many ways. But these can be overcome and people can regain their confidence and health.

3. How can cyberbullying affect my mental health?

When you experience cyberbullying you might start to feel ashamed, nervous, anxious and insecure about what people say or think about you. This can lead to withdrawing from friends and family, negative thoughts and self-talk, feeling guilty about things you did or did not do, or feeling that you are being judged negatively. Feeling lonely, overwhelmed, frequent headaches, nausea or stomachaches are also common.

You can lose your motivation to do the things that you usually enjoy doing and feel isolated from the people you love and trust. This can perpetuate negative feelings and thoughts which can adversely affect your mental health and well-being.

Skipping school is another common effect of cyberbullying and can affect the mental health of young people who turn to substances like alcohol and drugs or violent behaviour to deal with their psychological and physical pain. Talking to a friend, family member or school counsellor you trust can be a first step to getting help.

The effects of cyberbullying on mental health can vary depending on the medium through which it happens. For example, bullying via text messaging or through pictures or videos on social media platforms has proven to be very harmful for adolescents.   

Cyberbullying opens the door to 24-hour harassment and can be very damaging. That’s why we offer in-app mental health and well-being support through our feature “ Here For You .” This Snapchat portal provides resources on mental health, grief, bullying, harassment, anxiety, eating disorders, depression, stress, and suicidal thoughts. It was developed in partnership with leading international advocacy and mental health organizations to help Snapchatters contend with some very real issues. Still, our foundational piece of guidance for any well-being issue is to talk to someone: a friend, parent, caregiver, trusted adult – anyone whom you trust to listen.

At Snap, nothing is more important than the safety and well-being of our community.  Reach out and tell us how we might be able to help.    

Cyberbullying has the potential of having a negative impact on people's mental health. It's why it's so important that you reach out to someone you trust – whether it's a parent, teacher, friend or caregiver – and let them know what you're going through so that they can help you.

The well-being of our community matters hugely to us, and we recognise that cyberbullying can have an adverse impact on people's mental health. As well as taking strong action against content or behaviour that seeks to shame, bully or harass members of our community, we have partnered with experts to develop our well-being guide to help people learn more about improving their well-being, and keep TikTok a safe and inclusive home for our community.

4. Who should I talk to if someone is bullying me online? Why is reporting important?

If you think you’re being bullied, the first step is to seek help from someone you trust such as your parents, a close family member or another trusted adult.

In your school you can reach out to a counsellor, the sports coach or your favourite teacher – either online or in person.

And if you are not comfortable talking to someone you know, search for a helpline in your country to talk to a professional counsellor.

If the bullying is happening on a social platform, consider blocking the bully and formally reporting their behaviour on the platform itself. Social media companies are obligated to keep their users safe.

For bullying to stop, it needs to be identified and reporting it is key.

It can be helpful to collect evidence – text messages and screen shots of social media posts – to show what’s been going on.

For bullying to stop, it needs to be identified and reporting it is key. It can also help to show the bully that their behaviour is unacceptable.

If you are in immediate danger, then you should contact the police or emergency services in your country.

Facebook/Instagram

At Meta, we take bullying and harassment situations seriously. Bullying and harassment is a unique challenge and one of the most complex issues to address because context is critical. We work hard to enforce against this content while also equipping our community with tools to protect themselves in ways that work best for them.

If you're experiencing bullying online, we encourage you to talk to a parent, teacher or someone else you can trust – you have a right to be safe and supported.

We also make it easy to report bullying directly within Facebook or Instagram. You can send our team a report from a post, comment, story or direct message (DM). Your report is anonymous; the account you reported won’t see who reported them. We have a team who reviews these reports 24/7 around the world in 70+ languages and we will remove anything that violates our policies.

Meta’s Family Center offers resources, insights and expert guidance to help parents, guardians and trusted adults support their teen’s online experiences across our technologies. Additionally, the Meta Safety Center provides bullying prevention resources that can help teens seeking support for issues related to bullying like what to do if you or a friend is being bullied or if you've been called a bully. For educators , we have expert-backed tips on how to proactively handle and work to implement bullying prevention strategies

Bullying is something no one should have to experience, either in person or online. 

Snapchat’s Community Guidelines clearly and explicitly prohibit bullying, intimidation, and harassment of any kind. We don’t want it on the platform; it’s not in keeping with why Snapchat was created and designed. Learn more here .

Letting us know when you experience or witness someone breaking our rules allows us to take action, which helps to protect you and other members of our community. In addition to reporting violating content or behaviour to Snapchat, speak with a friend, parent, caregiver, or other trusted adult. Our goal is for everyone to stay safe and have fun!

Everyone has the right to feel safe and to be treated with respect and dignity. Bullying and harassment are incompatible with the inclusive environment we aim to foster on TikTok. 

If you ever feel someone is bullying you or otherwise being inappropriate, reach out to someone you trust - for example, a parent, a teacher or a caregiver – who can provide support.

We deploy both technology and thousands of safety professionals to help keep bullying off TikTok. We also encourage our community members to make use of the easy in-app reporting tools to alert us if they or someone they know has experienced bullying. You can report videos, comments, accounts and direct messages so that we can take appropriate action and help keep you safe. Reports are always confidential. 

You can find out more in our Bullying Prevention guide for teens, caregivers, and educators on how to identify and prevent bullying, and provide support.

Being the target of bullying online is not easy to deal with. If you are being cyberbullied, the most important thing to do is to ensure you are safe. It’s essential to have someone to talk to about what you are going through. This may be a teacher, another trusted adult, or a parent. Talk to your parents and friends about what to do if you or a friend are being cyberbullied.

We encourage people to report accounts to us that may break our  rules . You can do this on our  Help Center  or through the in-post reporting mechanism by clicking on the “Report a post” option.

Last updated: January 2022.

5. I’m experiencing cyberbullying, but I’m afraid to talk to my parents about it. How can I approach them?

If you are experiencing cyberbullying, speaking to a trusted adult – someone you feel safe talking to – is one of the most important first steps you can take.

Talking to parents isn’t easy for everyone. But there are things you can do to help the conversation. Choose a time to talk when you know you have their full attention. Explain how serious the problem is for you. Remember, they might not be as familiar with technology as you are, so you might need to help them to understand what’s happening.

They might not have instant answers for you, but they are likely to want to help and together you can find a solution. Two heads are always better than one! If you are still unsure about what to do, consider reaching out to other trusted people . There are often more people who care about you and are willing to help than you might think!

6. How can I help my friends report a case of cyberbullying especially if they don’t want to do it?

Anyone can become a victim of cyberbullying. If you see this happening to someone you know, try to offer support.

It is important to listen to your friend. Why don’t they want to report being cyberbullied? How are they feeling? Let them know that they don’t have to formally report anything, but it’s crucial to talk to someone who might be able to help.

Anyone can become a victim of cyberbullying.

Remember, your friend may be feeling fragile. Be kind to them. Help them think through what they might say and to whom. Offer to go with them if they decide to report. Most importantly, remind them that you’re there for them and you want to help.

If your friend still does not want to report the incident, then support them in finding a trusted adult who can help them deal with the situation. Remember that in certain situations the consequences of cyberbullying can be life threatening.

Doing nothing can leave the person feeling that everyone is against them or that nobody cares. Your words can make a difference.

We know that it can be hard to report bullying, but everyone deserves to feel safe online. If your friend is experiencing cyberbullying, encourage them to talk to a parent, a teacher or an adult they trust.

Reporting content or accounts to Facebook or Instagram is anonymous and can help us better keep our platforms safe. Bullying and harassment are highly personal by nature, so in many instances, we need a person to report this behaviour to us before we can identify or remove it. You can report something you experience yourself, but it’s also just as easy to submit a report for one of your friends. You can find more information on how to report something on our How to Report Bullying section  at the Meta Safety Center.

You and your friends may be reluctant to report to a technology platform for any number of reasons, but it’s important to know that reporting on Snapchat is confidential and easy. And remember: You can report Snaps (photos and videos), Chats (messages) and accounts – about your own experiences or on behalf of someone else. 

In the more public places of Snapchat, like Stories and Spotlight, simply press and hold on the piece of content and a card with “Report Tile” (as one option) will appear in red. Click that link and our reporting menu will appear. Bullying and harassment are among the first categories in the reporting list. Just follow the prompts and provide as much information as you can about the incident. We appreciate you doing your part to help us protect the Snapchat community!  

If you believe another member of the TikTok community is being bullied or harassed, there are ways you can provide support. For example, you can make a confidential report on TikTok so that we take appropriate action and help keep your friend safe. 

If you know the person, consider checking in with them and encourage them to read our Bullying Prevention guide so they can find out more information about how to identify bullying behaviour and take action.

If your friends are experiencing cyberbullying, encourage them to talk to a parent, a teacher or an adult they trust.

If a friend of yours does not want to report their experience, you can submit a bystander report  on their behalf. This can include reports of private information , non -consensual nudity  or impersonation.

7. How do we stop cyberbullying without giving up access to the Internet?

Being online has so many benefits. However, like many things in life, it comes with risks that you need to protect against.

If you experience cyberbullying, you may want to delete certain apps or stay offline for a while to give yourself time to recover. But getting off the Internet is not a long-term solution. You did nothing wrong, so why should you be disadvantaged? It may even send the bullies the wrong signal — encouraging their unacceptable behaviour. 

We need to be thoughtful about what we share or say that may hurt others.

We all want cyberbullying to stop, which is one of the reasons reporting cyberbullying is so important. But creating the Internet we want goes beyond calling out bullying. We need to be thoughtful about what we share or say that may hurt others. We need to be kind to one another online and in real life. It's up to all of us!

We’re continuously developing new technologies  to encourage positive interactions and take action on harmful content, and launching new tools to help people have more control over their experience. Here are some tools you can use:

• Comment warnings: When someone writes a caption or a comment that our AI detects as potentially offensive or intended to harass, we will show them an alert that asks them to pause and reflect on whether they would like to edit their language before it’s posted.
• Comment and message controls: Comments with common offensive words, phrases or emojis, and abusive messages or messages from strangers can be automatically hidden or filtered out with the ‘ Hidden words ’ setting, which is defaulted on for all people. If you want an even more personalized experience, you can create a custom list of emojis, words or phrases you don’t want to see, and comments containing these terms won’t appear under your posts and messages will be sent to a filtered inbox. All Instagram accounts have the option to switch off DMs from people they don’t follow. Messenger also gives you the option to ignore a conversation and automatically move it out of your inbox, without having to block the sender.
• Block and Mute: You can always  block  or  mute  an account that is bullying you, and that account will not be notified. When you block someone on Instagram, you’ll also have the option to block other accounts they may have or create, making it more difficult for them to interact with you.
• Restrict: With ‘Restrict,’ you can protect your account from unwanted interactions in a quieter, or more subtle way. Once Restrict is enabled, comments on your posts from a person you have restricted will only be visible to that person. You can choose to view the comment by tapping “See Comment”; approve the comment so everyone can see it; delete it; or ignore it. You won’t receive any notifications for comments from a restricted account.
• Limits:  You can automatically hide comments and DM requests from people who don’t follow you, or who only recently followed you. If you’re going through an influx of unwanted comments or messages — or think you may be about to — you can turn on Limits and avoid it.

Our priority is to foster a welcoming and safe environment where people feel free to express themselves authentically. Our Community Guidelines make clear that we do not tolerate members of our community being shamed, bullied or harassed. 

We use a combination of technology and moderation teams to help us identify and remove abusive content or behaviour from our platform. 

We also provide our community with an extensive range of tools to help them better control their experience – whether it's control over exactly who can view and interact with your content or filtering tools to help you stay in control of comments. You can find out about them on our Safety Centre . 

Since hundreds of millions of people share ideas on X every day, it’s no surprise that we don’t all agree with each other all the time. That’s one of the benefits of a public conversation in that we can all learn from respectful disagreements and discussions.

But sometimes, after you’ve listened to someone for a while, you may not want to hear them anymore. Their right to express themselves doesn’t mean you’re required to listen. If you see or receive a reply you don’t like, unfollow  and end any communication with that account. If the behaviour continues, it is recommended that you block the account . If you continue receiving unwanted, targeted and continuous replies on X, consider reporting the behaviour to X here .

We are also working proactively to protect people using our service through a combination of human review and technology. Learn more about how to feel safer on X here .

8. How do I prevent my personal information from being used to manipulate or humiliate me on social media?

Think twice before posting or sharing anything on digital platforms – it may be online forever and could be used to harm you later. Don’t give out personal details such as your address, telephone number or the name of your school.

Learn about the privacy settings of your favourite social media apps. Here are some actions you can take on many of them: 

• You can decide who can see your profile, send you direct messages or comment on your posts by adjusting your account privacy settings. 
• You can report hurtful comments, messages, photos and videos and request they be removed.
• Besides ‘unfriending’, you can completely block people to stop them from seeing your profile or contacting you.
• You can also choose to have comments by certain people to appear only to them without completely blocking them.
• You can delete posts on your profile or hide them from specific people. 

On most of your favourite social media, people aren't notified when you block, restrict or report them.

9. Is there a punishment for cyberbullying?

Most schools take bullying seriously and will take action against it. If you are being cyberbullied by other students, report it to your school.

People who are victims of any form of violence, including bullying and cyberbullying, have a right to justice and to have the offender held accountable.

Laws against bullying, particularly on cyberbullying, are relatively new and still do not exist everywhere. This is why many countries rely on other relevant laws, such as ones against harassment, to punish cyberbullies.

In countries that have specific laws on cyberbullying, online behaviour that deliberately causes serious emotional distress is seen as criminal activity. In some of these countries, victims of cyberbullying can seek protection, prohibit communication from a specified person and restrict the use of electronic devices used by that person for cyberbullying, temporarily or permanently.

However, it is important to remember that punishment is not always the most effective way to change the behaviour of bullies. Sometimes, focusing on repairing the harm and mending the relationship can be better.

On Facebook, we have a set of  Community Standards , and on Instagram, we have  Community Guidelines . We take action when we are aware of content that violates these policies, like in the case of bullying or harassment, and we are constantly improving our detection tools so we can find this content faster.

Bullying and harassment can happen in many places and come in many different forms from making threats and releasing personally identifiable information to sending threatening messages and making unwanted malicious contact. We do not tolerate this kind of behavior because it prevents people from feeling safe and respected on our apps.

Making sure people don’t see hateful or harassing content in direct messages can be challenging, given they’re private conversations, but we are taking steps to take tougher action when we become aware of people breaking our rules. If someone continues to send violating messages, we will disable their account. We’ll also disable new accounts created to get around our messaging restrictions and will continue to disable accounts we find that are created purely to send harmful messages.

On Snapchat, reports of cyberbullying are reviewed by Snap’s dedicated Trust & Safety teams, which operate around the clock and around the globe. Individuals found to be involved in cyberbullying may be given a warning, their accounts might be suspended or their accounts could be shut down completely. 

We recommend leaving any group chat where bullying or any unwelcome behaviour is taking place and please report the behaviour and/or the account to us.  

Our Community Guidelines define a set of norms and common code of conduct for TikTok and they provide guidance on what is and is not allowed to make a welcoming space for everyone. We make it clear that we do not tolerate members of our community being shamed, bullied or harassed. We take action against any such content and accounts, including removal.

We strongly enforce our rules to ensure all people can participate in the public conversation freely and safely. These rules specifically cover a number of areas including topics such as:

• Child sexual exploitation
• Abuse/harassment
• Hateful conduct
• Suicide or self-harm
• Sharing of sensitive media, including graphic violence and adult content

As part of these rules, we take a number of different enforcement actions when content is in violation. When we take enforcement actions, we may do so either on a specific piece of content (e.g., an individual post or Direct Message) or on an account.

You can find more on our enforcement actions here .

10. Technology companies don’t seem to care about online bullying and harassment. Are they being held responsible?

Technology companies are increasingly paying attention to the issue of online bullying.

Many of them are introducing ways to address it and better protect their users with new tools, guidance and ways to report online abuse.

But it is true that more is needed. Many young people experience cyberbullying every day. Some face extreme forms of online abuse. Some have taken their own lives as a result.

Technology companies have a responsibility to protect their users especially children and young people.

It is up to all of us to hold them accountable when they’re not living up to these responsibilities.

11. Are there any online anti-bullying tools for children or young people?

Each social platform offers different tools (see available ones below) that allow you to restrict who can comment on or view your posts or who can connect automatically as a friend, and to report cases of bullying. Many of them involve simple steps to block, mute or report cyberbullying. We encourage you to explore them.

Social media companies also provide educational tools and guidance for children, parents and teachers to learn about risks and ways to stay safe online.

Also, the first line of defense against cyberbullying could be you. Think about where cyberbullying happens in your community and ways you can help – by raising your voice, calling out bullies, reaching out to trusted adults or by creating awareness of the issue. Even a simple act of kindness can go a long way.

The first line of defense against cyberbullying could be you.

If you are worried about your safety or something that has happened to you online, urgently speak to an adult you trust. Many countries have a special helpline you can call for free and talk to someone anonymously. Visit  United for Global Mental Health to find help in your country.

We have a number of anti-bullying tools across Facebook and Instagram:

• You can block people, including any existing and new accounts they might create.
• You can  mute  an account and that account will not be notified.
• You can limit unwanted interactions for a period of time by automatically hiding comments and message requests from people who don’t follow you, or who only recently followed you.
• You can use ‘ Restrict ’ to discreetly protect your account without that person being notified.
• You can  moderate comments  on your own posts.
• You can  modify your settings  so that only people you follow can send you a direct message.
• We will notify someone when they’re about to post something that might cross the line, encouraging them to reconsider.
• We automatically filter out comments and message requests that don’t go against our Community Guidelines but may be considered inappropriate or offensive. You can also create your own custom list of emojis, words or phrases that you don’t want to see.

For more tips and ideas, visit Instagram’s Safety page and Facebook’s Bullying Prevention Hub . We also offer resources, insights and expert guidance for parents and guardians on our Family Center .

We want teens and young adults to be aware of the blocking and removal functions on Snapchat. Clicking on the person’s avatar will bring up a three-dot menu in the upper right-hand corner. Opening that menu offers the option of “Manage Friendship,” which, in turn, offers the ability to Report, Block or Remove the person as a friend. Know that if you block someone, they will be told that their Snaps and Chats to you will be delivered once the relationship is restored.  

It’s also a good idea to check privacy settings to ensure they continue to be set to the default setting of “Friends Only.” This way, only people you’ve added as Friends can send you Snaps and Chats.  

We also recommend reviewing your Friends’ list from time to time to ensure it includes those people you still want to be friends with on Snapchat.  

Alongside the work that our safety teams do to help keep bullying and harassment off our platform, we provide an extensive range of tools to help you control your TikTok experience. You can find these in full on our Safety Centre . Here are a few highlights:

• You can restrict who comments on your videos to no one, just friends or everyone (for those aged under 16, the everyone setting is not available)
• You can filter all comments or those with specific keywords that you choose. By default, spam and offensive comments are hidden from users when we detect them.
• You can delete or report multiple comments at once, and you can block accounts that post bullying or other negative comments in bulk too, up to 100 at a time.
• A comment prompt asks people to reconsider posting a comment that may be inappropriate or unkind, reminding them of our Community Guidelines and allowing them to edit their comments before sharing.

We want everybody to be safe on X. We continue to launch and improve tools for people to feel safer, be in control and manage their digital footprint. Here are some safety tools anyone on X can use: 

• Select who can reply to your posts  – either everyone, only people you follow or only people you mention
• Mute – removing an account's posts from your timeline without unfollowing or blocking that account
• Block – restricting specific accounts from contacting you, seeing your posts, and following you
• Report – filing a report about abusive behaviour
• Safety mode  – a feature that temporarily blocks accounts for using potentially harmful language or sending repetitive and uninvited replies or mentions.

With special thanks to:  Meta, Snap, TikTok and X (formerly known as Twitter). Last updated: February 2024.

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Fatal Flaws of Bullying Research: Introduction

Why researchers are failing to solve the bullying problem..

Posted July 14, 2020

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I am beginning a series of posts, one each, on the most serious scientific flaws that commonly affect bullying research. The situation facing us is dire. After two full decades of intensive warfare against bullying, bullying is as serious a problem as ever, if not more so.

The rate of suicide of bullied children has been escalating during the very period that society has been waging war against bullying, and many anti-bullying organizations continue to refer to bullying as an epidemic. We still hear of serious violence and even homicide committed in response to bullying. Lawsuits against schools for failing to stop children from being bullied are becoming increasingly commonplace. And those unfortunate victims of bullying, who can be found in just about every classroom, continue to suffer despite the ubiquity of anti-bullying laws.

The efforts of researchers to find a reliably effective solution to bullying has been going on for around four decades, and has been in hyper-drive for the past two. Millions upon millions of dollars of grant money have been invested in research on bullying, and thousands of studies have been published. Yet researchers continue documenting the astronomical prevalence of bullying and the terrible damage it causes. A current example is a study on bullying of LGBTQ youth , for they are particularly vulnerable to bullying, and many state anti-bullying laws specifically focus on their protection. The alarming headline, which went viral in world news, decries that “73% LGBTQ youth face bullying for reasons beyond sexual identity.” According to a recent study by Yale ,

Death records from LGBTQ youths were about five times more likely to mention bullying than non-LGBTQ youths’ death records, the study found. Among 10- to 13-year-olds, over two-thirds of LGBTQ youths’ death records mentioned that they had been bullied.

A major anti-bullying organization, Stomp Out Bullying, reports that :

Lesbian, gay, bisexual , transgender and queer bullying is alarming. In fact 9 out of 10 LGBTQ+ students reported being harassed and bullied last year.

It must be remembered that these depressing statistics exist after decades of diversity promotion by schools and the media, public activism by LGBTQ advocacy groups, and anti-bullying education and laws that emphasize the suffering and needs of the non-heteronormative population.

NASA sent men to the moon within 10 years of President Kennedy announcing the mission. Why have scientists made such little progress when it comes to tackling bullying?

I will be arguing that the reason is that there are serious flaws that have consistently plagued the research on bullying. Without them, researchers might have discovered a reliable approach long ago. Wise people throughout history have discovered it, as have practical psychologists and self-help gurus of the modern era.

Today, the role of researchers for bringing a solution to bullying is crucial. It’s not because researchers hold the key to success. It’s because we have made them crucial. In our litigious modern world, it is more dangerous than ever for service providers, such as physicians and schools, to perform interventions that don’t provide customers with the results they want—and students and their parents are customers of the school. Just as medical doctors can be sued for malpractice, so can schools. Believing that researchers are the ultimate authorities on what works, schools, and the broader society as well, seem convinced that the best and safest way to combat bullying is by using interventions that are approved by researchers.

If society will only accept a researcher-approved approach to bullying, researchers had better find it. To do so, they must stop making serious errors.

These fatal flaws will not necessarily be presented in order of importance. They are all important. Furthermore, it is rare to find a study that does not exhibit at least one of them. Many studies are riddled by multiple flaws, including ones I may not be addressing.

My intention with these articles is to help readers of research studies on bullying to be more discerning, so they won't just take their conclusions at face value. Even more important is for researchers to recognize these flaws so they can stop falling prey to them and begin producing better studies and conclusions.

Few areas of science are flawless, but the social sciences are notorious for bias and error. This is because human behavior is highly complex, and therefore hard to understand and to predict. Furthermore, it is particularly difficult to be objective regarding our own species. We harbor conflicting philosophies about human nature and about what is good for us.

It is extremely difficult to be unbiased regarding a biased concept. The moment we think of interpersonal dynamics in terms of bullies and victims, we have already decided who is the bad guy and who is the good guy. Our minds are made up about the subject we are studying, and our ability to come up with something fundamentally different that might actually work is precluded.

But how about peer reviewers? Journals have established the peer review process in order to prevent flawed studies from being published. We may rightfully wonder why the process has failed. There are at least two likely reasons. One is that peer reviewers, too, may have their mindset fixed by the judgmental paradigm of the bullying field. A second is that they rely on previous research. They may assume that past research studies that have survived the peer review process are valid. The body of existing research on bullying is so vast and so monolithic in its premises and conclusions that reviewers may have no reason to suspect that there can be anything fundamentally wrong with it. In fact, they might reject anything that conflicts with the orthodox bullying field. (This has happened to me.)

For the sake of the multitude of victims of bullying, let’s hope that we can open the eyes of our scientists and guide them to become more scientific.

Izzy Kalman is the author and creator of the website Bullies2Buddies.com and a critic of the anti-bully movement.

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At any moment, someone’s aggravating behavior or our own bad luck can set us off on an emotional spiral that threatens to derail our entire day. Here’s how we can face our triggers with less reactivity so that we can get on with our lives.

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Bullying and Problem Solving

Latest Research on Bullying

The American Psychological Association has recently published two new studies about bullying.

In a study just released this summer, researchers discovered that children and adolescents who lack social problem-solving skills are more at risk of becoming bullies, victims or both than those who don’t have these difficulties. They found that boys bully more than girls, and bullies and victims both have poor social problem-solving skills. More than anything else, poor academic performance predicts those who will bully.

In another study released last December, researchers reported that students who watch as their peers endure the verbal or physical abuses of another student could become as psychologically distressed, if not more so, by the events than the victims themselves.

Developing positive problem-solving skills seems to be a crucial part of avoiding bullying. Unfortunately, we are not born with these skills, nor are they taught in schools. Youth must rely on the adults around them – parents, teachers, coaches, etc. – to teach them how to solve their problems. This is a skill that will serve them well their entire lives and is well worth the time investment.

Teaching Problem Solving Skills

Below are the essential steps for solving problems. We have written them as the parent working with the child to solve the problems, which is something to do with elementary and middle school students. Encourage them to use these steps in small decisions so that by the time they are faced with a big decision they are used to the process. As the child enters high school, the parents should remind the youth of these steps, but allow the teen to work through these steps on their own.

• Properly identify the problem. Teach youth to clearly understand their difficulty and what specifically is distressing them.  Ask them: “How is your current situation different from how you would like it to be?” Encourage them to approach the process with a positive attitude, viewing the situation as an opportunity to improve things.
• Generate several alternative solutions. Try sitting down with the teenager and brainstorming a list of possible solutions to the given situation. Ask the child what they have tried before in similar situations, and what outcomes they experienced. Ask them to predict likely consequences, both positive and negative, for each possibility. Encourage the teen to not limit themselves, but to come up with as many options as possible even if they are unrealistic, because this type of creative process may help generate even better solutions.
• Make a decision. Once you have made a list of options together, help the teen narrow them down. For each option, consider how realistic it is, how likely the teen would be to implement it, and the potential obstacles. Ask the child, “Which option accomplishes your goals and has the fewest drawbacks?” Then let the teen choose the option they would like to try.
• Implement and verify your solution. Encourage the teen to implement their solution, give it their best effort and see how it works. Check back frequently to process how the solution is or isn’t working, and help them modify it as necessary. The goal here is for kids to learn to feel confident about solving their own problems.

These steps will work in a wide variety of situations, but hopefully by giving children a firm understanding of how to solve their problems, we will be also mitigating their risk of bullying. However, even with the best intentions, some children still fall prey to this prevalent problem. Here are some tips for parents on how to handle bullying situations.

Tips for Parents to Prevent Bullying

Communication is essential in almost every aspect of raising a child, and this issue is no exception. Even if your child has had no experience with bullying – as victim or perpetrator – do not assume that all will continue to be well. We must take the time to define what bullying is, because it is often not recognized when it’s among friends. Our children must realize that bullying is any behavior that hurts another person. Youth may understand that name calling is bullying, but believe that gossiping is ok. Teens may recognize that hitting someone is bullying, but think that tripping someone is just a joke. Along with explaining the definition of bullying, we should clearly define the consequences of those actions. Encourage their empathy by talking through how a bullying victim feels and how it may impact their life. Discuss the possible ramifications of getting in trouble for bullying, including school suspension.

Tips for Parents if Your Child is a Bullying Victim

If your child comes to you because a bully is bothering him, do not ignore the problem. It’s hard to know what to do in these situations, but while children do need to learn how to work things out on their own, being victimized by a bully should not be tolerated. If the problem is ignored, your child could be hurt, his self-esteem could be wounded, or he could become a bully himself.

Here are five steps you can take if your child is having problems with a bully:

• Believe what your child tells you. This is an important first step and will help your child trust that you are able to help him with his problem. Accept what he has to say at face value by attentively listening to them without interruption.
• Let your child know that he is not alone. Most children have to deal with some type of bullying behavior at one time or another. Reassure your child that he is not the problem.
• If your child is being threatened in a physical or illegal way at school, report the problem. Your child may not want you to do this, but violence cannot be tolerated. You need to model assertive behavior by alerting those in charge where the bullying is taking place.
• Teach your child assertive behavior and how to ignore routine teasing. Let them know it is okay to say ‘No.’ Sometimes even friends bully, so letting your child know they can be true to their own feelings and say ‘no’ can go a long way.
• Encourage your child not to give in to a bully. Giving up possessions or giving into a bully in any way encourages the bully to continue. Identify and role-play ways for your child to respond to a bully – showing assertive but not aggressive behavior.

Tips for Parents if Your Child is a Bully

If you find out that your child is bullying others, you will need to actively stop this behavior. Here are seven steps you can take:

• Make it clear to your child that you take bullying seriously and that you will not tolerate this behavior.
• Develop clear and consistent rules within your family for your children’s behavior.
• Praise and reinforce your children for following rules and use non-physical, non-hostile consequences for rule violations.
• Spend more time with your child and carefully supervise and monitor his or her activities. Find out who your child’s friends are, and how and where they spend free time.
• Build on your child’s talents by encouraging him or her to get involved in pro-social activities (such as clubs, music lessons, non-violent sports).
• Share your concerns with your child’s teacher, counselor, and/or principal. Work together to send clear messages to your child that the bullying must stop.
• If you and/or your child need additional help, talk with a school counselor and/or mental health professional.

Additional Resources

• www.cdc.gov/ncipc/dvp/dvp.htm – The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention web site contains a number of fact sheets and publications on youth violence, with links to other valuable resources. It also includes the truth and myths about youth violence, kids’ stories, things you can do to avoid violence, and a reading list for teens.
• www.ericfacility.net/ericdigests/ed407154.html – A concise summary of research on bullying and effective programs to prevent bullying in schools.
• www.ncfy.com/expreng.pdf – This booklet for teens offers great tips for handling the tough times inevitable in high school.

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One comment

interesting, thanks. myself I’ve recently found this book on stopping bullying and reading through it right now. it’s really hands-on.

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Article • 12 min read

Dealing With Bullying on Your Team

Spotting and stopping bad behavior.

By the Mind Tools Content Team

Marissa is one of your brightest, most talented, and ambitious team members.

However, over the last three months, she's taken a number of days off sick, and she's become distant, depressed, and anxious. The quality of her work has decreased drastically, and you're worried that she's looking for another job.

When you ask Marissa what's wrong, she's initially reluctant to answer your question. Eventually, she explains how a colleague is tormenting her with intimidating comments, isolating her from her colleagues, and spreading rumors about her.

You're shocked that something like this is happening in your team, and you can't believe that you haven't noticed it.

Bullying is more common than many people think, and its effect can be devastating. It has the power to reduce engagement, lower productivity, and destroy a team's morale.

In this article, we'll look at how you can identify bullying on your team, and we'll explore a step-by-step approach that you can use to deal with the situation.

In this article, we focus on dealing with bullying on your team. If you're a victim of bullying, see our article on dealing with bullying for tips and strategies that you can use to protect yourself.

The Bully Problem

The Workplace Bullying Institute defines bullying as "repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons (the targets) by one or more perpetrators. It is abusive conduct that can take one or more of the following forms:

• Verbal abuse.
• Offensive conduct or behaviors (including nonverbal behaviors), which are threatening, humiliating, or intimidating.
• Work interference – sabotage – which prevents work from getting done."

From the Workplace Bullying Institute website, reproduced with permission.

Bullying on your team may be obvious, but it can also be quite subtle. Some specific examples of bullying behavior include:

• Spreading malicious rumors .
• Belittling a person's opinion, especially in front of others.
• Intimidating or abusing someone, physically or emotionally.
• Purposefully excluding someone from projects or social events.
• Undermining or impeding someone's work.
• Telling offensive jokes.
• Making persistent unreasonable requests of someone, or assigning them an excessive workload.
• Engaging in unnecessary or frequently-repeated criticism.
• Intentionally blocking someone's career advancement or training opportunities.
• Intruding on someone's privacy.
• Punishing someone undeservedly.
• Micromanaging someone intentionally.
• Taking away responsibilities without reason.
• Using social media to intimidate or exclude a person.

Negative Effects of Bullying

Workplace bullying can have a serious, profound, and long-lasting effect on the target's mental and physical health.

Victims of bullying can experience a number of symptoms, including increased stress levels, panic attacks, persistent anxiety, and depression. Often, this can result in decreased commitment and motivation, low self-confidence and self-esteem, reduced productivity, and high absenteeism.

In extreme cases, victims may suffer from an impaired immune system, chronic fatigue, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), cardiovascular problems, or migraines.

Although bullying mainly has a negative impact on the target, it's important to recognize that people who witness it can also be affected, too. In the 2007 book, " Bullying and Emotional Abuse in the Workplace ," researchers Ståle Einarsen and Eva Gemzøe Mikkelsen explain that witnesses can experience feelings of social isolation, depression, helplessness, and anxiety, not just the targets themselves. [1]

As such, bullies can severely affect your team members' morale, productivity, and motivation. Their actions may lead to higher staff turnover, a greater number of workplace accidents, and increased absenteeism. And, if rumors of bullying spread outside the organization, this can damage your organization's reputation.

The Workplace Bullying Institute reports that 29 percent of victims contemplate suicide, and that 16 percent have a plan to carry it out. It's vital that you take steps to stop bullying immediately, and that you communicate your support to your team members.

Depending on the severity of the attacks, the target might need the assistance of a suitably qualified medical professional.

Dealing With a Bully on Your Team

American president Theodore Roosevelt once said, "Knowing what's right doesn't mean much, unless you do what's right."

To help you identify bullying behavior on your team, start by building trust with your people. This creates rapport , and it means that your team members are more likely to approach you if they experience bullying. Make it clear that you're approachable, and that you genuinely care about your people.

So, what can you do if you identify a bully on your team?

If you suspect that one of your team members is a bully, you need to take immediate action. Follow the steps below to address their bad behavior , and to provide guidance and support for the victim.

Step 1: Review Your Organization's Policy on Bullying

Some organizations will already have a policy in place that identifies unacceptable behavior in the workplace. This may detail how to report, investigate, and manage bullying incidents.

If your organization does not have a formal policy in place, work with your HR department to write one for your team. Make it clear that your people should approach you or the HR manager if they are the victim of bullying. You may also want to schedule emotional intelligence, anti-bullying, and sensitivity training for your team.

This article is intended as a general guide only. The laws and terms defining bullying vary widely around the world. For example, in some countries, states, or regions, employers can be held liable for the actions of a bully, particularly if they are aware of what is happening and take no action, or if they don't take steps to discourage bullying behavior in the first place.

Get advice, therefore, from an appropriate local professional or advice agency before you publish any organizational policies or take further action.

Step 2: Talk to and Support the Victim

Next, talk to the victim, and find out exactly what has happened. As they tell their story, use empathetic listening skills to show that you understand. They may feel upset, traumatized, and humiliated by what they've experienced. So, it's vital to show your support, and to communicate your commitment to addressing the situation.

It can also help to explain that it isn't their fault that they've been bullied – often, bullies target the brightest and best people, because they feel insecure around them.

Ask how they would like to see the situation resolved, and find out what you can do to help them bounce back. Encourage them to use techniques like cognitive restructuring , imagery , and deep breathing to cope with the situation.

If they have a medical certificate from their doctor, they may be able to take time out as paid or unpaid sick leave, depending on their country, state, or region. You could also suggest that they take some vacation time to rest and recover.

Step 3: Talk to Your Team

Your next step is to talk to your team members. Each person needs to understand what bullying is, and they should be able to identify unacceptable behaviors.

Make sure that everyone has a copy of your organization's anti-bullying policy, and take time to review it in detail with your people. Use stories to illustrate what bullying looks like, and to demonstrate how it negatively affects everyone on the team. Explain why anti-bullying rules are in place, and make the consequences of breaking them clear.

Next, encourage your team members to report any bullying behavior to you, or to the HR manager. If you suspect that people are too afraid to speak up, provide an anonymous channel for them to report any problems. For example, you could set up a suggestion box, or launch an anonymous online message board where employees can post comments.

Step 4: Prepare to Confront the Bully

Before you confront the bully, brush up on your conflict resolution skills . There's a good chance that bullies will deny their behavior, or that they'll get angry at the accusation. With good conflict resolution skills, you can manage the situation better, and with more self-confidence.

As part of your preparations, you also need to write down what you've observed. Talk to the target, if possible, list specific dates and bullying behaviors, and make a note of any witnesses. Use the situation, behavior, and impact tool to structure information that you can use to explain the impacts of each incident to the bully.

Step 5: Hold the Bully Accountable

When you're ready, schedule a time to talk to the bully, and make sure that an HR representative is present at the meeting.

Review your notes, remind yourself of the victim's testimony, and ask for the bully's side of the story. Depending on the outcome of this and the severity of the situation, and on your organization's anti-bullying policy and employment contracts, you may need to be ready to give bully a formal warning , or even take steps to terminate their contract.

It's possible that they don't realize the impact of their actions. If this is the case, and if the incident is relatively minor, let them know that the company will not tolerate bullying behavior, and explain the consequences of their actions.

Explain why good manners are important, and list the behaviors that they need to change. For example, instead of expressing anger and aggression, people should demonstrate empathy , humility, compassion, and tolerance towards colleagues, and they should focus on developing their emotional intelligence .

In these minor cases, make it clear what you expect the bully to do, and consider using a performance agreement to record their commitment to stop the behavior. This also holds them accountable if you have to take further action.

Make sure that your performance agreement has a clear timeline, and that it outlines what will happen if the bully doesn't change.

Step 6: Monitor Progress

Your last step is to monitor the bully closely, and to make sure that they keep to the agreement in the long term. Practice management by walking around to stay visible, and to show that you're looking out for this behavior.

Provide clear, specific, regular feedback on progress, let the bully know what they've done right, and outline what they still need to work on.

And, of course, keep on providing support to the victim, for as long as is necessary to resolve the problem.

Unfortunately, bullying is common in many organizations. It's defined as repeated, health-harming treatment of another person in the form of verbal abuse, offensive behaviors, or work interference.

If you find that you have a bully on your team, check with your organization's HR department to see if there are policies in place to deal with the situation. Talk to the victim to find out exactly what's happened, and communicate your support and commitment to deal with the situation.

Get specifics about each incident, explain that the company will not tolerate bullying behavior, and, if necessary, give a formal warning, or take steps towards termination.

For more minor incidents, get their commitment to change in writing, and make sure that they understand what will happen if they don't change.

[1] Zapf, D., Einarsen, S. et. al. (2007). ' Bullying and Emotional Abuse in the Workplace ,' London: Taylor & Francis.

[2] Ayoko, O., Callan, V. et. al. (2003). 'Workplace Conflict, Bullying, and Counterproductive Behaviors,' International Journal of Organizational Analysis , Volume 11, Issue 4. (Available here .) [Accessed October 29, 2013.]

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How to solve the problem of school bullying

Readers discuss school bullying. other topics: plastic bags and egyptair.

Readers share solutions to the problem of bullying in the education sector. Ravindranath K / The National

I am writing in regard to your report on bullying ( Only half of children in Abu Dhabi feel safe at school , March 28). Bullying is defined as persistent verbal, physical and emotional abuse. This can take place in any school regardless of whether it is private or state run.

Often bullying is a bandwagon jumped on by others. What is the real issue here is children's inability to relate to each other and why this is taking place.

Many schools are addressing this problem through life skills programmes that educate children about bullying on social media.

My children are being brought up in a multicultural society and educated in culturally diverse schools where they mix with all kinds of children. Tolerance and understanding are the key.

As a parent you choose carefully where and what school to educate your child in. Like all parents, I want my children to thrive in a safe, secure, caring and above all happy environment. I am pleased to say they currently are. Parents have the ultimate responsibility to instil strong values in their children.

Adam Tesdale, Abu Dhabi

All schools in Abu Dhabi should be state run and all nationalities, whether British, Emirati, Sri Lankan, Filipino and Indian should be required to send their children to these schools.

This would result in better integration of nationalities within the workforce. Private schools are not helping to integrate society.

Paul Aldridge, Abu Dhabi

In the United States many schools have adopted a zero-tolerance policy for bullying and fighting. At the start of the school year, the child and parents attend a metting where this policy is explained. They sign a contract that they understand the consequences of bullying.

If a problem occurs during the school year with no bodily harm, the first incident results in a three-day suspension. If the problem happens again, the punishment is expulsion. Then they are forced to attend an alternative school for problem youth or online home school. While it might seem extreme, these types of initiatives achieve results.

John David Sef, United States

These statistics are alarming and worrisome. It is disturbing to read that every other child has suffered bullying in some form or another at school.

It is about time that something is done to prevent bullies from harassing and torturing other children.

It is best to target bullies and offer them counselling than to identify victims. This way the problem can be solved before getting any bigger.

Fatima Suhail, Sharjah

Plastic bags are killing us

I am writing about your report on plastic bags ( UAE environment minister queried on elusive plastic ban , March 29). The solution to the problem is simple, charge people one dirham per bag. In the US, a plastic bag can cost 5 cents (depending on the state).

To make the scheme really effective, the Government must make the price for plastic bags very high. It is the best way to dissuade people from using the harmful bags. Additionally, it would be a good idea to hand out free reusable bags for a week so that people can stock up.

It is all about rewarding behaviour that is helpful to the environment and deterring bad behaviour.

Claudia Gabriel, Dubai

Ban the bags, simple as that. I never use a plastic bag, even for the grocery shopping because I always take my own foldable bags with me. They weigh nothing and can fit in by the dozen even in your Dior or Chanel handbag.

I prefer to walk out with an item in my hand than have it put in a plastic bag. Just make it law, please. Plastic is killing so much, including camels who eat bags that have blown away into the desert.

Brigitte von Bulow, Abu Dhabi

It wouldn't be so bad if we weren't given such an excess of bags. I have always found it striking that baggers will put a simple bottle of water inside of its own bag. I just refuse because it is a waste. People will start to be more responsible but only if they are pushed a little by a cost for the bag or a new law.

Sam Attfield, Abu Dhabi

Aviation is not Hollywood

I am writing about the EgyptAir flight ( Distraught ex-husband arrested in Cyprus after hijacking EgyptAir plane , March 29). Did the hijacker honestly think he was going to get his ex-wife back after a stunt like this? This is not Hollywood!

Sabrina Hoehn , Abu Dhabi

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Teens and Video Games Today

85% of u.s. teens say they play video games, and about four-in-ten do so daily. teens see both positive and negative sides of video games – from problem-solving and making friends to harassment and sleep loss, table of contents.

• Who plays video games?
• How often do teens play video games?
• What devices do teens play video games on?
• Social media use among gamers
• Teen views on how much they play video games and efforts to cut back
• Are teens social with others through video games?
• Do teens think video games positively or negatively impact their lives?
• Why do teens play video games?
• Bullying and violence in video games
• Appendix A: Detailed charts
• Acknowledgments
• Methodology

Pew Research Center conducted this analysis to better understand teens’ use of and experiences with video games.

The Center conducted an online survey of 1,453 U.S. teens from Sept. 26 to Oct. 23, 2023, through Ipsos. Ipsos recruited the teens via their parents, who were part of its KnowledgePanel . The KnowledgePanel is a probability-based web panel recruited primarily through national, random sampling of residential addresses. The survey was weighted to be representative of U.S. teens ages 13 to 17 who live with their parents by age, gender, race and ethnicity, household income, and other categories.

This research was reviewed and approved by an external institutional review board (IRB), Advarra, an independent committee of experts specializing in helping to protect the rights of research participants.

Here are the questions used for this analysis , along with responses, and  its methodology .

There are long-standing debates about the impact of video games on youth. Some credit them for helping young people form friendships and teaching them about teamwork and problem-solving . Others say video games expose teenagers to violent content, negatively impact their sleep and can even lead to addiction.

With this in mind, Pew Research Center surveyed 1,423 U.S. teens ages 13 to 17 about their own video game habits – from how often they play to the friends they’ve made and whether it gets in the way of them doing well in school or getting a good night’s sleep. 1

Key findings from the survey

• Video games as a part of daily teen life: 85% of U.S. teens report playing video games, and 41% say they play them at least once a day. Four-in-ten identify as a gamer.
• Gaming as a social experience: 72% of teens who play video games say that a reason why they play them is to spend time with others. And some have even made a friend online from playing them – 47% of teen video game players say they’ve done this.
• Helpful with problem-solving, less so for sleep: Over half of teens who play video games say it has helped their problem-solving skills, but 41% also say it has hurt their sleep.
• Bullying is a problem: 80% of all teens think harassment over video games is a problem for people their age. And 41% of those who play them say they’ve been called an offensive name when playing.
• Boys’ and girls’ experiences differ: Most teen boys and girls play video games, but larger shares of boys identify as gamers (62% vs. 17%) and play every day (61% vs. 22%). Boys who play them are also more likely to experience positive things from it, like making friends, and more troubling things like harassment.

Jump to read about: Who plays video games | Socializing over video games | Views about video games’ impact | Harassment and violence in video games      

Playing video games is widespread among teens. The vast majority of U.S. teens (85%) say they play them. Just 15% say they never do, according to the survey conducted Sept. 26-Oct. 23, 2023.

In addition to asking whether teens play video games, we also wanted to learn whether they consider themselves gamers. Overall, four-in-ten U.S. teens think of themselves as gamers. Just under half of teens (45%) play video games but do not think of themselves as gamers.

Nearly all boys (97%) say they play video games, compared with about three-quarters of teen girls. There is a substantial gap by gender in whether teens identify as gamers: 62% of teen boys do, compared with 17% of girls. 2

By gender and age

Younger teen girls are more likely than older girls to say they play video games: 81% of girls ages 13 to 14 compared with 67% of those ages 15 to 17. But among boys, nearly all play video games regardless of age. 

Similar shares of teens play video games across different racial and ethnic groups and among those who live in households with different annual incomes. Go to Appendix A for more detail on which teens play video games and which teens identify as gamers.

We also asked teens how often they play video games. About four-in-ten U.S. teens say they play video games daily, including 23% who do so several times a day.

Another 22% say they play several times a week, while 21% play them about once a week or less.

Teen boys are far more likely than girls to say they play video games daily (61% vs. 22%). They are also much more likely to say they play them several times a day (36% vs. 11%).

By whether someone identifies as a gamer

About seven-in-ten teens who identify as gamers (71%) say they play video games daily. This drops to 30% among those who play them but aren’t gamers.

By household income

Roughly half of teens living in households with an annual income of less than $30,000 (53%) say they play video games at least daily. This is higher than those in households with an annual income of $30,000 to $74,999 (42%) and $75,000 or more (39%).

Go to Appendix A to see more details about who plays video games and identifies as a gamer by gender, age, race and ethnicity, and household income.

Most teens play video games on a gaming console or a smartphone. When asked about five devices, most teens report playing video games on a gaming console (73%), such as PlayStation, Switch or Xbox. And 70% do so on a smartphone. Fewer – though still sizable shares – play them on each of the following:

• 49% say they play them on a desktop or laptop computer
• 33% do so on a tablet  
• 24% play them on a virtual reality (VR) headset such as Oculus, Meta Quest or PlayStation VR

Many teens play video games on multiple devices. About a quarter of teens (27%) do so on at least four of the five devices asked about, and about half (49%) play on two or three of them. Just 8% play video games on one device.

Teen boys are more likely than girls to play video games on four of the five devices asked about – all expect tablets. For instance, roughly nine-in-ten teen boys say they ever play video games on a gaming console, compared with 57% of girls. Equal shares of teen boys and girls play them on tablets.  

Teens who consider themselves gamers are more likely than those who play video games but aren’t gamers to play on a gaming console (95% vs. 78%), desktop or laptop computer (72% vs. 45%) or a virtual reality (VR) headset (39% vs. 19%). Similar shares of both groups play them on smartphones and tablets.

One way that teens engage with others about video games is through online platforms. And our survey findings show that teen gamers stand out for their use of two online platforms that are known for their gaming communities – Discord and Twitch :

• 44% of teen gamers say they use Discord, far higher than video game players who don’t identify as gamers or those who use the platform but do not play video games at all. About three-in-ten teens overall (28%) use Discord.
• 30% of teens gamers say they use Twitch. About one-in-ten other teens or fewer say the same; 17% of teens overall use the platform.

Previous Center research shows that U.S. teens use online platforms at high rates .

Teens largely say they spend the right amount of time playing video games. When asked about how much time they spend playing them, the largest share of teens (58%) say they spend the right amount of time. Far fewer feel they spend too much (14%) or too little (13%) time playing them.

Teen boys are more likely than girls to say they spend too much time playing video games (22% vs. 6%).

By race and ethnicity

Black (17%) and Hispanic (18%) teens are about twice as likely than White teens (8%) to say they spend too little time playing video games. 3

A quarter of teens who consider themselves gamers say they spend too much time playing video games, compared with 9% of those who play video games but don’t identify as gamers. Teen gamers are also less likely to think they spend too little time playing them (19% vs. 10%).

Fewer than half of teens have reduced how much they play video games. About four-in-ten (38%) say they have ever chosen to cut back on the amount of time they spend playing them. A majority (61%) report that they have not cut back at all.

This share is on par with findings about whether teenagers have cut back with their screen time – on social media or their smartphone.

Although boys are more likely to say they play video games too much, boys and girls are on par for whether they have ever cut back. About four-in-ten teen boys (39%) and girls (38%) say that they have ever cut back.

And gamers are as likely to say they have cut back as those who play video games but don’t identify as gamers (39% and 41%).

A main goal of our survey was to ask teens about their own experiences playing video games. For this section of the report, we focus on teens who say they play video games.

Socializing with others is a key part of the video game experience. Most teens who play video games do so with others, and some have developed friendships through them.

About nine-in-ten teen video game players (89%) say they play them with other people, in person or online. Far fewer (11%) play them only on their own.

Additionally, about half (47%) report that they have ever made a friend online because of a video game they both play. This equals 40% of all U.S. teens who have made a friend online because of a video game.

These experiences vary by:  

• Gender: Most teen boy and girl video game players play them with others, though it’s more common among boys (94% vs. 82%). Boys who play video games are much more likely to say they have made a friend online because of a video game (56% vs. 35%).
• Race and ethnicity: Black (55%) and Hispanic (53%) teen video game players are more likely than White teen video game players (43%) to say they have made a friend online because of them.
• Whether someone identifies as a gamer: Nearly all teen gamers report playing video games with others (98%). Fewer – though still most – of those who play video games but aren’t gamers (81%) also play them with others. And about seven-in-ten (68%) say they have made a friend online because of a video game, compared with 29% of those who play them but don’t identify as gamers.

Teens who play video games are particularly likely to say video games help their problem-solving skills. More than half of teens who play video games (56%) say this.

Additionally, more think that video games help, rather than hurt, three other parts of their lives that the survey asked about. Among teens who play video games:

• Roughly half (47%) say it has helped their friendships
• 41% say it has helped how they work with others
• 32% say it has helped their mental health

No more than 7% say playing video games has hurt any of these.

More teens who play video games say it hurts, rather than helps, their sleep. Among these teens, 41% say it has hurt how much sleep they get, while just 5% say it helps. And small shares say playing video games has impacted how well they do in school in either a positive or a negative way.

Still, many teens who play video games think playing them doesn’t have much an impact in any of these areas. For instance, at least six-in-ten teens who play video games say it has neither a positive nor a negative impact on their mental health (60%) or their school performance (72%). Fewer (41%) say this of their problem-solving skills.

Teen boys who play video games are more likely than girls to think playing them has helped their problem-solving skills, friendships and ability to work with others. For instance, 55% of teen boys who play video games say this has helped their friendships, compared with 35% of teen girls.

As for ways that it may hurt their lives, boys who play them are more likely than girls to say that it has hurt the amount of sleep they get (45% vs. 37%) and how well they do in school (21% vs. 11%). 

Teens who consider themselves gamers are more likely than those who aren’t gamers but play video games to say video games have helped their friendships (60% vs. 35%), ability to work with others (52% vs. 32%), problem-solving skills (66% vs. 47%) and mental health (41% vs. 24%).

Gamers, though, are somewhat more likely to say playing them hurt their sleep (48% vs. 36%) and how well they do in school (20% vs. 14%).

By whether teens play too much, too little or the right amount

Teens who report playing video games too much stand out for thinking video games have hurt their sleep and school performance. Two-thirds of these teens say it has hurt the amount of sleep they get, and 39% say it hurt their schoolwork. Far fewer of those who say they play the right amount (38%) or too little (32%) say it has hurt their sleep, or say it hurt their schoolwork (12% and 16%).

Teens who play video games say they largely do so to be entertained. And many also play them to be social with and interact with others. Teens who play video games were asked about four reasons why they play video games. Among those who play video games:

• Nearly all say fun or entertainment is a major or minor reason why they play video games – with a large majority (87%) saying it’s a major reason.
• Roughly three-quarters say spending time with others is a reason, and two-thirds say this of competing with others. Roughly three-in-ten say each is a major reason.
• Fewer – 50% – see learning something as a reason, with just 13% saying it’s a major reason.

While entertainment is by far the most common reason given by teens who play video games, differences emerge across groups in why they play video games.

Teens who identify as gamers are particularly likely to say each is major reason, especially when it comes to competing against others. About four-in-ten gamers (43%) say this is a major reason, compared with 13% of those who play video games but aren’t gamers.

Teen boys who play video games are more likely than girls to say competing (36% vs. 15%), spending time with others (36% vs. 27%) and entertainment (90% vs. 83%) are major reasons they play video games.

Black and Hispanic teens who play video games are more likely than White teens to say that learning new things and competing against others are major reasons they play them. For instance, 29% of Black teen video game players say learning something new is a major reason, higher than 17% of Hispanic teen video game players. Both are higher than the 7% of White teen video game players who say the same.

Teens who play video games and live in lower-income households are especially likely to say competing against others and learning new things are major reasons. For instance, four-in-ten teen video game players who live in households with an annual income of less than $30,000 say competing against others is a major reason they play. This is higher than among those in households with annual incomes of $30,000 to $74,999 (29%) and $75,000 or more (23%).

Cyberbullying can happen in many online environments, but many teens encounter this in the video game world.

Our survey finds that name-calling is a relatively common feature of video game life – especially for boys. Roughly four-in-ten teen video game players (43%) say they have been harassed or bullied while playing a video game in one of three ways: 

• 41% have been called an offensive name
• 12% have been physically threatened
• 8% have been sent unwanted sexually explicit things

Teen boys are particularly likely to say they have been called an offensive name. About half of teen boys who play video games (48%) say this has happened while playing them, compared with about a third of girls (32%). And they are somewhat more likely than girls to have been physically threatened (15% vs. 9%).

Teen gamers are more likely than those who play video games but aren’t gamers to say they been called and offensive name (53% vs. 30%), been physically threatened (17% vs. 8%) and sent unwanted sexually explicit things (10% vs. 6%).

Teens – regardless of whether they’ve had these experiences – think bullying is a problem in gaming. Eight-in-ten U.S. teens say that when it comes to video games, harassment and bullying is a problem for people their age. This includes 29% who say it is a major problem.

It’s common for teens to think harassment while playing video games is a problem, but girls are somewhat more likely than boys to say it’s a major problem (33% vs. 25%).

There have also been decades-long debates about how violent video games can influence youth behavior , if at all – such as by encouraging or desensitizing them to violence. We wanted to get a sense of how commonly violence shows up in the video games teens are playing.

Just over half of teens who play video games (56%) say at least some of the games they play contain violence. This includes 16% who say it’s in all or most of the games they play.

Teen boys who play video games are far more likely than girls to say that at least some of the games they play contain violence (69% vs. 37%).

About three-quarters of teen gamers (73%) say that at least some of the games they play contain violence, compared with 40% among video game players who aren’t gamers.   

• Throughout this report, “teens” refers to those ages 13 to 17. ↩
• Previous Center research of U.S. adults shows that men are more likely than women to identify as gamers – especially the youngest adults. ↩
• There were not enough Asian American respondents in the sample to be broken out into a separate analysis. As always, their responses are incorporated into the general population figures throughout the report. ↩

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