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Family Conflict Resolution Tips and Strategies

Sometimes, family issues can be the most complex

Elizabeth Scott, PhD is an author, workshop leader, educator, and award-winning blogger on stress management, positive psychology, relationships, and emotional wellbeing.

Rachel Goldman, PhD FTOS, is a licensed psychologist, clinical assistant professor, speaker, wellness expert specializing in eating behaviors, stress management, and health behavior change.

praetorianphoto / Getty Images

• Defining What You Can Control and What You Can't

The Role of Patterns

Simple changes for better results, what you can do now.

When families get together, we hope for fun times characterized by love and bonding, but we often find that family conflicts occur during these times as well. In fact, in most families, there are longstanding patterns of interaction and roles that people traditionally play within these interactions. When adult children get together with family, they often find themselves slipping back into these patterns, something laughingly referred to as "revertigo."

These interactions can be positive, but when they’re negative, they can bring high amounts of stress to a family gathering. That's where family conflict resolution comes in.

Defining What You Can Control and What You Can't

How often have you had an experience where you knew you were going to see your family and could predict in advance what annoying or frustrating interactions you might have with certain family members, and things went exactly as you’d hoped they wouldn’t? Have you ever wished you had a remote control for humans, complete with pause, rewind and mute buttons?

While you can’t control the actions of others, you can control your response to their actions, which can alter the whole dynamic and create more positive interactions.

In fact, Dr. Kathleen Kelley Reardon, USC Marshall School professor and author of Comebacks at Work: Using Conversation to Master Confrontation, estimates that 75% of how people treat us is under our control because of this. She advocates taking a different approach if you want to experience new, more positive results with these types of conflicts in the future.

“Communication is like chess where every move one person makes influences the choices of the other,” says Reardon.

A good rule of thumb is to not say what you would normally say in response to any provocation.

"If you let someone go on and on and that leads to anger, link something you have to say to his or her topic and then change to another one," she says.

If you think you’re being blamed for something, instead of getting your back up, try saying, “There’s some truth to that” or “I hadn’t thought of it that way but I see your point.” In other words, tweak what you normally do. Then you won’t just slip into conflict. Above all, don’t be predictable. When we’re predictable, those who want to argue can maneuver us into doing just that.”

This solution is based on the observation that many of our conflicts with people we know well are based on repeated patterns that we unwittingly perpetuate.

We may try to be proactive about responding in a way that will resolve the conflict each time (though let's face it, many of us are more focused on “winning” the argument rather than on dissolving or resolving the conflict, and there’s often a difference). This response could actually serve to keep things going the way they have in the past, which may not be what we want.

“All families and most friends bring with them emotional baggage from the past,” explains Reardon. “In Comebacks at Work we describe how this leads to URPS (unwanted repetitive episodes) in conversation. Most of us slip into these dysfunctional and stressful patterns without even noticing because we’ve been in them so many times before.

Some of the common URPS involve sibling rivalry issues, patterns with parents that have never gone away, political issues even in families where everyone identifies with the same political party, and who is more right about topics that aren’t really important.

According to Reardon, the key to getting out of these URPS situations is to recognize “choice points” in a conversation, or points in the discourse where you can alter the tone and direction that the exchange takes, by altering your own responses. She gives the following scenario as an example:

Alan: That’s a stupid idea. Eleanor: What makes you a genius? Alan: I’m not a genius but I know when something is ridiculous. Eleanor: You’re ridiculous.

“After Alan said, “That’s a stupid idea,” Eleanor was at a choice point, explains Reardon. “She reacted in the way many people would. But, she could have altered this conversation.” Here’s how that might look:

Alan: “That’s a stupid idea.” Eleanor: “At first, I thought so too. But hear me out.”

Or Eleanor might have said: “New ideas tend to sound stupid, but you’ll see in a minute why this one isn’t.”

“Instead of reacting to Alan with an attack, she chose to bypass that option,” Reardon points out. “Instead, she allowed that he may have a point but he’ll think differently when she finishes speaking.

“This is responding rather than reacting,” she says. “It gives the other person a chance to rethink whether he or she wants to argue. It’s a gift of sorts to be accepted or not – the other person’s choice point. Most people respond to such generosity in conversation with returned generosity.”

If you're anticipating conflict the next time you get together with certain people, you may want to think about things ahead of time and identify patterns you've experienced before, think about potential choice points, and consider alternative responses you may choose.

Try to come up with a few tactics for each scenario, and think about what would feel right for you.

Rather than getting caught up in the usual conflict and hurt feelings, try to imagine what tone you'd like the conversation to take, and see if you can lead the interaction in that direction with your own responses at pivotal choice points.

You may be surprised at how quickly things can change.

Learning better conflict resolution skills , knowing what to avoid in a conflict, and how to cool off when upset can also help immensely. And when all else fails, extra-strong listening skills have helped de-escalate many a conflict.

By Elizabeth Scott, PhD Elizabeth Scott, PhD is an author, workshop leader, educator, and award-winning blogger on stress management, positive psychology, relationships, and emotional wellbeing.

All families deal with relationship difficulties, small or large, at various times throughout the family experience. Family problems come in all shapes and sizes, impacting family dynamics and shaping family relationships. The ways that family members cope with and solve issues provide a framework for family dynamics and set the tone for family life. 

How to Solve Family Problems

• Create an Environment of Sharing
• Acknowledge the Problem
• Get to the Deeper Issue
• Focus on the Relationship – Let Go of Anger and Pride
• Get Professional Help

Remember to Take Care of Yourself

Creating a family culture of openness and security, and taking the steps to resolve family issues, can improve relationships and maintain positive family dynamics. 

Common Family Problems

Families face a variety of problems, both large and small. Family conflict and relationship problems can include arguments, miscommunication, and misunderstanding. They also can involve deeper issues such as substance abuse, financial instability, mental illness, grief, health problems, and divorce. Sometimes, these issues exist between only two family members, and other times they spread throughout the entire family, creating extended family issues . Some issues, like grief after the loss of a loved one, appear plainly on the surface, while others can be more subtle. Perhaps your child refuses to communicate with you, or your wife doesn’t seem to be a happily married woman .

Family issues often have underlying causes which are not always apparent.. And yet the impact of these root causes can spread throughout the family, creates conflict or emotional strain in several family relationships. Such conflict is especially impactful on a child’s life, creating emotional difficulties that are often carried from their childhood and adolescence into their adult lives and future family relationships.

Create an Environment of Sharing 

Families are built on relationships, and relationships are strengthened through healthy communication. An environment of sharing creates the foundation for healthy communication. Family members need to feel safe to share their feelings and discuss their issues and emotions. As a family oriented parent , that means allowing your child to share their point of view without fear of judgment or punishment. Sometimes, a child just needs to feel certain that what they say will be taken seriously. A child who feels safe can talk about difficult or emotional subjects, such as mental health, self-identity, anxiety, or substance abuse. Children who feel safe and respected are much more likely to open up to a parent when struggling with a situation or trying to make a difficult decision. This is also true for other family relationships—not just between parent and child, but between siblings and within the marriage.

Ways to achieve an environment of sharing include:

• Listen. Really listen to the other person before providing advice or counsel. Sometimes, it is better to first ask if advice is welcome. If the answer is no, let it go and follow up later.
• Be willing to share your own feelings. Sometimes things seem obvious to us, but they may not be obvious to your child, spouse, or sibling. Sharing your own feelings without placing blame can bring up new points of view.
• Speak for yourself and avoid blame. When sharing your perspective, present it as just that - your perspective and not the facts. 
• Recognize others’ experiences as valid. Telling others how they feel or should feel creates barriers and discourages sharing.
• Be human. Admitting you are wrong, or that you made a mistake, can help others feel more comfortable to admit their own mistakes.
• Model the behavior you want to see. We are all influenced by the people who surround us. Modeling healthy ways to express thoughts and emotions encourages others to do the same.
• Do things together. Families that spend time together engaged in positive activities achieve a sense of closeness that encourages open communication and sharing. Explore shared interests, sports, or service ideas for families . Activities that involve serving others and getting outside are especially fulfilling and often instigate future conversations and closer relationships.

Sharing openly among family members sets the stage for solving family problems and preventing future issues from arising.

Acknowledge the Family Problem 

Sometimes family problems stem from  something simple like a lack of closeness. Other times the problems involve something much more serious, like abuse. Acknowledging that a problem exists is the first step in doing something to fix the situation. Ignoring issues and pretending everything is fine are common unhealthy coping mechanisms for family members experiencing relationship conflict or emotionally difficult situations. 

Lack of acknowledgment can exacerbate issues, fuel negative situations, and culminate in negative or damaging behavior, such as lashing out in anger, aggressive argument, substance abuse, or family violence. Acknowledging a problem as early as possible allows positive action to be taken toward fixing the situation, and may prevent unhealthy coping mechanisms that lead to negative situations.

Sometimes we avoid discussing problems because our past efforts to do so only seemed to make things worse. As a result, we believe that avoiding is better than continuing to fight. In truth, avoiding instead of fighting just leads to other side effects in families. Feeling stuck is often a sign that involving a third party is needed, such as a good marriage and family therapist.

Get to the Deeper Family Issue

After acknowledging that a problem exists, steps can be taken to identify the source of the problem and improve the situation. Most family problems are merely symptoms on the surface of a deeper-rooted cause. Knowing the cause paves the way for greater empathy among family members and illuminates situations that require change. Here are some examples of family problems and their deeper issues:

Conflict between siblings – The majority of families will experience some sibling conflict between children at various times. But if that conflict extends beyond the occasional bickering to consistent emotional arguing or angry or hurtful behavior, then a deeper issue is likely the cause. That deeper issue could involve jealousy or feelings of inadequacy, where one child feels overshadowed by the other. One child could be putting pressure on the other to keep a secret from their parents (such as breaking a rule or lying). The cause could also be external, affecting one child who in turn uses their sibling as a dump truck for unloading their stress, frustration, or anger. 

Alcohol abuse or other substance abuse – Family members who abuse alcohol or other substances are often using the activity as an escape mechanism. They could be escaping from a difficult emotional situation, such as grief over the loss of a loved one, financial instability, marriage conflict, or divorce. Or, they could be escaping from physical pain from illness or other health problems. Professional help from a therapist or support group can help to break down the deeper issues that lead people to substance abuse and start them on the road to recovery.

Stress and anxiety in children – These are common effects of a variety of deeper issues. Often, anxiety is triggered by an event or a difficult situation. The stress that stems from it leads to further anxiety, creating a cyclical pattern. The root of the anxiety could be a social issue at school or concern for a friend. It could relate to feeling overwhelmed in school or struggling with an undiagnosed learning disorder. Children often perceive more than they let on and could be reacting to a passing comment from a parent, such as “Our budget is tight this month.” Talking with your child and maintaining trust through open communication encourages children to reveal the source of their anxiety.

Sometimes, identifying the deeper issue and bringing it out in the open is all it takes to resolve a problem. Other times, merely identifying the root cause is just the beginning of the long road to resolution. This important and necessary step will help to develop a plan for resolving issues and encourage understanding within family relationships.

Focus on the Family Relationship – Let Go of Anger and Pride 

Anger and pride are the enemies of healthy family relationships. They feed negative emotions, hamper empathy and understanding, and thwart positive and open communication. Holding on to these feelings blocks the path to conflict resolution. Anger and pride are divisive to family relationships and damaging to individual mental health. They are fuel for the cyclical patterns of stress, anxiety, and depression. Despite knowing this, however, letting go of such emotions can be difficult – and sometimes painful. The fear of pain, vulnerability, or failure are often what keeps a person from improving their family relationships and focusing on the importance of family .

One of the best ways to move beyond that fear is to focus on the relationship. Prioritize the goal—a healthier, happier relationship—over the fear of being hurt or the fear of failure. When family problems exist, a person has usually been hurt already, which makes the fear of being hurt again even greater. But while that risk of further hurt is real, the potential for healing and resolution is also real. Focusing on that potential, and letting go of those negative emotions, opens the door to healthier communication, relationship healing, and better mental health.

Get Professional Family Help

Getting professional help is one of the best ways to handle family problems. Some situations, such as those involving abuse, dangerous behavior, or domestic violence, require immediate professional help and formal family assessment . In other situations, such as ongoing disagreements over a certain topic or lack of closeness within a marriage, brief therapy help can provide the catalyst you need to get unstuck and achieve the fulfilling relationship that you each desire.

Many people hold back from seeking professional help because of fears or misunderstandings. Here are some facts about therapy that help to debunk some of these common myths and misconceptions:

Therapy is for everyone - A common misconception about therapy is that it is reserved for people with mental illness, individuals with an emotional disorder, or people who are too weak to handle their own problems. This could not be further from the truth. As humans, we need other humans to work through issues with us. Therapy provides a safe, confidential environment to do just that. 

Professional help is available for all types of issues, whether large or small, and in a variety of formats. Family therapy, marriage counseling, support groups, and individual sessions with a therapist are just a few examples. There is also a variety of specialties, including psychology, psychiatry, religious counseling, and much more. At the end of the day, therapy is merely a safe space to work through your family problems with the support of a trained professional.

Therapy is worth your time - Another common misconception is that therapy is a waste of time or money. You could talk to anyone, so why talk to a therapist? Therapists have special expertise gained through extensive professional training. They will not only help you talk about your family issues but will help you to develop strategies for resolving difficult situations. A family therapist can also discuss various types of issues you may be dealing with, and different options for resolution or treatment, such as new scientific approaches to treating a specific issues.

Therapy is safe - One myth about therapy is that there are risks. The risk of being judged (by the therapist or by friends and family) or the risk of being medicated. On the contrary, therapy provides a safe and confidential space to explore all options for healing. Often, professional counseling is all that is needed or desired for family conflict resolution.

Professional help can provide growth and healing for a parent, child, or an entire family, improving family dynamics and emotional health. It can provide mediation and conflict resolution within a marriage, between siblings, or any type of family relationship. Think about the type of support (such as family therapy, religious counseling, or psychiatry) that feels right for your family and seek it out.

It is true that the quality of the professional you work with can make a big difference in the outcome of your therapy. For this reason, it’s often best to seek a referral from a trusted friend or family member. If that feels uncomfortable, consider asking for a referral from your family doctor. If you’ve had a negative experience in the past, consider giving it another try, this time with a trusted referral.

Taking care of yourself and maintaining your mental health is essential when attempting to solve family issues. Maintaining positive, healthy family dynamics starts with a healthy self. Being in a healthy mental space allows you to let go of negative emotions. This, in turn, paves the way for safe and open communication between family members and helps the entire family focus on relationships. 

Not only does this place you in the right frame of mind to address family conflict, but it models a healthy example for your children to do the same. It is integral to maintaining a strong family structure that provides a sense of stability and security for children. For a parent, maintaining your mental health can provide you with the strength and perspective needed to maintain the necessary qualities of a good father and mother, such as understanding and empathy.

Taking care of yourself is often easier said than done, especially while feelings of stress, anxiety, or emotional dissatisfaction prevail. Finding a healthy outlet to decompress and let go of stress and other negative emotions can help to maintain a healthy state of mind. Choose a regular time in your schedule just for maintaining you. This could include a daily exercise routine, a therapeutic hobby (such as gardening or journaling), or a weekly therapy session. Taking care of yourself leaves you open to model healthy behavior for your children and to focus on family relationships.

Impact of Family Problems

When not addressed, family problems can have serious impacts on individual family members. Issues such as increased levels of stress and anxiety, emotional difficulties and disorders (such as depression), substance abuse, and addiction, are all likely to surface. Sometimes, these impacts carry on throughout a child’s life. Family problems can especially impact children, who are often capable of perceiving much more than one might think. Children may also perceive a problem, but not be able to fully understand it. Such misunderstandings can lead to greater issues, further affecting family dynamics and individual emotions. Where family issues exist, acknowledge the problem, and take the steps to resolution.

Solving Family Problems

Families experience a wide range of issues, some small and some large. These issues typically involve strain or conflict within family relationships. They can have lasting impacts on individual family members, especially children. Taking steps to address family issues, and seeking resolution among family relationships can ease emotions, promote mental health, and maintain a positive family culture. A family culture quiz by Kinmundo is an easy way for families to evaluate and improve the culture within their family.  

A positive family culture requires a structure built on family values that maintains a safe environment for sharing. Open communication in an environment safe from fears of judgment provides a model of stability and security for family members to acknowledge and address important issues with understanding and empathy. Creating such a culture is paramount to solving family issues when they arise.

A family that feels open and safe to share emotions, acknowledge issues, and seek help when needed can maintain positive relationships and mental health. When family members are prepared to resolve family conflict, they can reduce the lasting impacts of difficult situations and fix relationships that may seem broken.

5 Ways to Become a More Family Oriented…

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Eight Situations That Commonly Cause Family Conflict

Writer Leo Tolstoy once observed that “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” This may be true in the sense that families are complex units made up of complex individuals, and the ways in which they relate to each other and the circumstances in which they find themselves are unique. One  family’s issues  may be completely distinct from another’s. 

That said, however, there’s a set of broad patterns that tend to cause conflict across many families—whether biological or chosen. To compound the issue, many lack the tools to handle these challenges in a healthy way. Read on for eight of the most common sources of conflict in families, along with steps you can take to try and address or cope with them.

Signs of unhealthy family conflict: Common issues within the family unit

Every family will inevitably face conflict from time to time. However, those that go unresolved or that are dealt with in unhealthy ways can take a toll on members and their relationships with each other. They can lead to chronic stress levels (which can lead to health problems), mental health challenges, and even estrangement, which can make family life difficult.

Some signs of ongoing family conflict that’s not being handled in a healthy way can include:

Passive-aggressive behaviors

Sweeping issues ‘under the rug’

Frequent bickering and/or fighting

Disagreements frequently escalating to yelling/screaming

Frequent periods where some members aren’t speaking to others

A lack of trust between members

Codependent behavior

Abuse of any kind

If you or a loved one is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Support is available 24/7.

8 common causes of family conflict

If you’ve recognized that your family is experiencing conflict, identifying the root cause can be the next step toward managing it. Although many people are already aware of what’s causing the core conflict within their family, it can be helpful to see some of the most common ones listed out—both to provide insight into how multiple issues can overlap and interact, and to take comfort in knowing that you’re not alone in your experience of family problems. See below for some of the most common  causes of family stress  or discord.

Parental relationship problems

Parents who are constantly fighting—whether they're still together or separated or divorced—can cause tension for all members, especially children. One parent who is in an unhealthy relationship with someone can also be distressing for the other members to observe.

Financial concerns

Many families face serious challenges in meeting the basic needs of all members. Whether it’s because of systemic issues, job loss, inability to work, uncontrolled spending, gambling problems, or another reason, stress and conflict related to money and bills is common.

Health conditions 

When one or more family members is experiencing a health challenge—from a chronic physical condition to a mental illness to a disability—it can affect the others. Stress and worry as well as providing care and paying medical bills can sometimes result in tension and other family issues.

Toxic behaviors between family members

Sometimes, stress or dysfunction in a family can be traced primarily to the toxic behaviors of one member. For example, someone who frequently engages in manipulation tactics, dishonesty, scapegoating, or similar behaviors can be extremely difficult or even dangerous to live with. These can be personality traits or signs of certain  personality disorders .

Unaddressed trauma related to family issues

In most cases, trauma that has not been effectively and healthily recognized, processed, and healed will cause issues in a person’s life in some way. A family unit that experiences trauma together—such as war, a natural disaster, or the sudden death of a loved one—or vicariously through one member may experience conflict that arises as a result of this unaddressed pain. This can be especially true for various forms of intergenerational trauma.

If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.

Unhealthy expectations

Family members who feel pressure to conform to unhealthy and/or impossible standards may experience negative effects as a result. For example, a household where each child is expected to perform perfectly in school, never express negative emotions, or never bring up conflict can eventually cause them to disengage or lash out.

Too much or too little time together

Families that have to live in close quarters and spend most or all of their time together are liable to face conflict, as many learned  during the COVID-19 lockdown . On the other hand, families that are so busy or live so far apart that they rarely get to spend quality time together could also end up experiencing conflict.

Poor or nonexistent communication

Healthy, honest, frequent communication is widely considered to be the foundation of healthy relationships of all types. Families without it are likely to experience recurrent conflict as issues that arise may not be properly addressed and members may not feel heard.

Addressing family conflict and promoting healthy relationships

After you’ve uncovered the root of the conflict your family is experiencing, the next recommended course of action is usually to engage in open communication about it with your family members. If you’re wondering  how to resolve family conflict , setting aside a time when you can calmly and reasonably bring up the issue(s) without being aggressive or accusatory can be effective in some cases. Although you may not be able to solve all the issues with one conversation, it can represent a first step toward collaborating to create a happier, healthier family dynamic together over time. 

However, sometimes it’s not feasible or not safe for one person to communicate something that’s been bothering them to others. Some family members may be resistant to even speaking openly about it, much less working toward solutions. Others may engage in extreme reactions that make it difficult to ever get to the root of the problem. In cases like these, therapy could be the next step to consider.

How family therapy can help

Families that are willing to engage in therapy can rely on a family therapist to guide the discussion and the handling of conflict. This type of healthcare professional can equip members with techniques to help with things like communication, problem-solving, and stress management that they can use in the present conflict and in the future. They can also identify and address any mental health challenges that could be affecting any member and, in turn, their family. If you’re interested in locating a family therapist in your area, you can find directories  of licensed providers online or ask your physician, friends, or community members for a recommendation.

However, if some or all of your family is unwilling to attend family therapy, you may find it useful to attend individual sessions on your own. While this won’t change the behavior of your family members, it can offer you a safe, nonjudgmental space to express your feelings and get advice on healthy, constructive strategies to try when engaging with them. 

If in-person therapy is inaccessible or unaffordable for you, you might consider an  online therapy platform  like BetterHelp instead where you can get matched with a licensed therapist who you can meet with from home or anywhere else you have an internet connection. Plus, session costs are less than the average in-person visit and comparable to most insurance co-pays. Research suggests that there is likely “no difference in effectiveness” between in-person therapy and online therapy, so you can typically feel confident in whichever format you may choose. See below for reviews of BetterHelp counselors from clients who have faced similar challenges. 

Counselor reviews

“Nicole is great! I’ve been seeing her for both couples counseling and individual therapy. She is kind and sympathetic while still being straightforward and practical. She always helps me find ways to overcome obstacles or look at things from another perspective. Also, she has a ton of helpful resources that she has given through the BetterHelp app. It is very convenient and just what I needed to get through a difficult year!”

“Danielle is amazing! She’s helping me grapple with incredibly difficult challenges in one of my most important relationships. She listens well, synthesizes my scattered thoughts & feelings, and offers helpful tools, activities & resources to work on outside of our sessions. Danielle provides honest feedback and creates a safe space. I can feel that she genuinely cares.

Family conflict can be challenging, frustrating, draining, and difficult to face on your own. If you’re looking for support in identifying or handling conflict within your own family, you might consider connecting with a therapist. A family therapist can work with your entire family to build communication and problem-solving skills, while an individual therapist can offer you in particular a safe space to express your emotions and get constructive advice—whether online or in person.

• Improving Family Dynamics And Communication Medically reviewed by Dr. Jerry Crimmins , PsyD, LP
• Family Therapy Methods: Exploring Family Counseling Medically reviewed by Julie Dodson , MA
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What are dysfunctional family relationships?

Common causes of family conflict, tips on interacting with difficult family members, when to cut ties with family members, dealing with difficult family relationships.

Struggling to coexist with difficult family members? Learn about common sources of conflict and how to deal with dysfunctional family relationships.

Mothers, fathers, siblings—your closest family members can form a lifelong social support system. They can celebrate your highs and give you comfort when you’re at your lows. Even so, disagreements and misunderstandings are bound to happen. Minor conflicts between family members are normal, and they typically resolve on their own or with some constructive dialogue. But other conflicts can be much more significant. In cases where resentment and toxic patterns arise, family interactions can become lasting sources of frustration and tear relationships apart.

Difficult family relationships can take on many forms. You might have an overly critical dad who makes you feel anxious. Perhaps a sibling’s jealousy is a constant source of tension at family functions. Or maybe you believe a new in-law’s controlling behavior leads to unnecessary drama.

These turbulent family relationships can have long-lasting effects on your health and well-being. You might:

• Begin to blame yourself for these poor relationships.
• Experience fear and anxiety surrounding family or holiday events.
• Hesitate to reach out to other family members.
• Suffer from lack of emotional or financial support during hard times.
• Develop trouble sleeping or focusing due to the stress of these interactions.

Research even indicates that poor relationships with parents, siblings, or spouses can contribute to midlife depression symptoms . Exposure to domestic conflicts can also have a long-term impact on a child’s well-being as well. One longitudinal study found that domestic arguments and violence can increase a child’s risk of developing mental and physical health problems later in life.

To minimize these consequences, you can learn how to identify causes of family tension and take steps to create peaceful interactions. While you might eventually find that cutting ties is the best option for your health and happiness, there are approaches you can take that can help repair family bonds and improve your relationships with those closest to you.

Speak to a Licensed Therapist

BetterHelp is an online therapy service that matches you to licensed, accredited therapists who can help with depression, anxiety, relationships, and more. Take the assessment and get matched with a therapist in as little as 48 hours.

Before you learn how to deal with difficult family members, it helps to examine why those relationships are rocky to begin with. Consider these common causes of family disputes and ways to navigate them:

Family finances

Family members tend to have some degree of financial overlap. Siblings might bicker over an inheritance. Parents may have strong opinions on how their children handle money. Or adult children might feel the need to control their aging parents’ finances.

When it comes to large family events, such as weddings or holiday parties, financial disagreements can often come to a head. However, there are ways to navigate money-related problems within your family.

Put things in writing. If you expect a family member to pay you back for a personal loan, for example, make a written agreement between the two of you. This can help you avoid arguments or even legal disputes.

Set boundaries. If a family member is pressuring you to loan or give them money or wants to dictate your finances, it’s important to clarify the type of behavior you won’t tolerate. Be clear so your family member will know when they’ve crossed the line.

Know when to be transparent. You don’t have to share all of your financial details with anyone. But, in cases where your decisions may affect your family members, it’s best to be transparent. You might want to talk to your children about details of their inheritance to avoid a future conflict, for example, or let your siblings know why you can’t contribute to a shared expense.

[Read: Coping with Financial Stress]

Caregiving responsibilities

Research from 2020 shows that about 19 percent of Americans are acting as unpaid family caregivers. The stresses and responsibilities of being a caregiver can weigh heavily on family relationships.

Studies indicate that tension between siblings tends to increase when a parent begins to need some level of caregiving. Perhaps you believe your sibling is in denial over your parent’s health and needs to be more proactive. Or maybe you and your sibling disagree on whether an assisted living facility is the right housing choice for your parent.

Conflicts over caregiving aren’t limited to sibling relationships. You might have arguments with your parents or spouse over how to raise your children.

When you and another family member are at odds over caregiving, try these tips:

Be open about what level of support you need as a caregiver. If you keep your feelings to yourself, resentment can grow and increase tensions.

Look for compromise and accept other people’s limitations. If your sibling can’t physically assist with caregiving, perhaps they can offer financial help. Remember to show your appreciation when your sibling takes on responsibilities.

If someone else is completely unable or unwilling to help with parental caregiving, try looking for support outside of your family .

[Read: Family Caregiving]

New family members

As your family expands, so does the potential for new conflicts. In one study of estrangement between mothers and adult children, more than 70 percent of the mothers said other family members caused the rift. The mothers often pointed to the child’s partner or spouse as the problem.

These conflicts aren’t limited to mothers and children, of course. You and your brother-in-law might have a contentious relationship. Or perhaps your father-in-law always seems to expect too much from you. To better get along with your in-laws:

Expect differences. Different families have different expectations, boundaries, and ways of doing things. Do you see your daughter-in-law as an untactful or even rude family member? Maybe she comes from a family background that encourages blunt language or tolerates teasing.

Focus on their most positive traits. Your in-laws are part of your family because someone else in your family saw the good in them. If you’re having a hard time seeing past their flaws, try making a list of their strengths.

Find common interests. Although it’s not always easy, you can usually find shared interests if you look hard enough. Ask about your in-laws’ hobbies, passions, and past experiences until you find something that’s relatable.

Political and religious differences

Religious and political similarities can affect the strength of family bonds. For example, studies indicate that when mothers share the same religion as adult children, they tend to experience higher-quality relationships.

On the other hand, when family members don’t have the same views on religion or politics, it can trigger heated arguments. Maybe your sibling objects to group prayers before meals. Or perhaps you hear insults and snide remarks when you express your political views. Here’s how to deal with difficult family members who have opposing views:

Identify useful conversations. When a debate starts, ask yourself what you hope to get from the interaction. Do you expect to completely change your family member’s mind? Or are you trying to gain insight into their beliefs? Is it at all possible that either of you will budge on your position? Even if you’ll never agree about something, you can still move the conversation forward if you’re both willing to be open and respectful of each other’s views.

Avoid sweeping generalizations. Statements like, “Everyone on the left is evil” or “Everyone on the right is an idiot” can quickly escalate arguments and further entrench people.

Try to see the human element in the other person’s values. Many political beliefs are shaped by an underlying concern for society, such as economic or environmental stability. By recognizing that, the other person’s views may not seem as wildly different from your own.

Know when to exit heated arguments. When emotions run too hot, make a respectful but firm exit from the conversation. You can say something like, “I’m not sure if this is productive. Let’s leave it there.” Contain the urge to have the “last word.”

Be mindful of your jokes. Humor can often help diffuse a tense argument . However, avoid aggressive jokes that target the other person’s beliefs or values.

Unresolved family issues

Things that happened in the past can have a lasting effect on family relationships. Did you and your son have an explosive argument when he was a teenager? If the matter went unresolved, he might continue to be resentful or distrustful of you. Did your parents seem to favor you over your brothers? Jealousy could become an underlying source of tension for your siblings.

Unresolved issues can often crop up during milestone events or times of change within the family. For example, insecurities over parental favoritism might reappear as you and your siblings begin to act as caregivers to an aging parent.

If you’re the one holding onto an issue, speak up. Invite the other person to a private conversation, where you can bring up the issue and share your perspective. Be willing to forgive if the party apologizes for their part in the problem.

If a family member is holding resentment, be empathetic. Try to understand how they perceived events and how the past continues to affect them. If you caused some harm to them in the past, apologize and ask how you can repair the damage to the relationship. For example, if you lost your temper with your son in the past, explain how you plan to do better going forward.

If neither person is at fault, it can still help to acknowledge the past and the effects of growing up in a dysfunctional family. Remember that no family is perfect, and past events influence present-day perceptions. Focus on what steps you can take in the present to resolve the conflict .

Despite your best efforts and intentions, sometimes you’ll find that you simply can’t get along with a family member. Perhaps someone continues to hold a grudge against you or refuses to change their behavior.

Your general plan might be to avoid difficult family members. However, that strategy can often be foiled by weddings, funerals, and other family gatherings. Here are some alternate options:

Manage your own stress

Prioritize de-stressing before and after you have to interact with a difficult family member. Effective stress management techniques can range from meditation to going for a walk to journaling your thoughts or chatting face-to-face with a close friend.

If you start to feel stressed by the difficult family member during the event itself, don’t hesitate to excuse yourself from the room and use some quick stress relief techniques to clear your head.

• Rely on your senses to ground yourself in the moment. Take in a deep breath of fresh air, find a friendly cat or dog to pet, or hum a tune to yourself. You can also use your imagination to picture something soothing, like your child’s face or a relaxing setting.
• If you tend to freeze when under stress, activities that involve physical movement are often most effective. Consider doing some stretches, swaying to background music, or jogging in place to burn off tension.

Set and maintain boundaries

Strong, clear boundaries can protect you from toxic family interactions. Imagine you and your spouse are about to visit overbearing in-laws. Talk to your spouse and set a limit on how long the visit will last. You can also set boundaries on conversation topics. If you and your in-laws have had heated arguments over religion, it might be best to steer clear of the topic.

If someone attempts to cross your boundaries, keep your temper in check. Instead, be clear and direct about the consequence. For example, you could say something like: “If you keep bringing up that topic, I’ll be leaving early.”

Build your emotional intelligence (EQ)

By strengthening your emotional intelligence, you can improve your ability to understand, manage, and express emotions. This can have a positive effect not just on your family relationships but on your overall mental health.

To enhance your EQ, you need to focus on four key skills:

• Self-management
• Self-awareness
• Social awareness
• Relationship management

You can develop these skills by taking steps such as using mindfulness to assess your emotional state and nonverbal cues. Read Improving Family Relationships with Emotional Intelligence for more strategies.

Change your focus

Be willing to acknowledge your family member’s strengths as well as their flaws. Perhaps your sibling is confrontational and demanding, but at least they’re always willing to help finance family events. Or maybe your mother-in-law is overly critical of you but always supportive of your children.

Practice empathy

Acknowledge that a difficult family member might be going through rough circumstances of their own. From personal insecurities to substance addiction or mental illness, certain underlying factors could be fueling your family member’s behavior.

Although these factors don’t excuse the behavior, by being more empathetic you might gain a better understanding of the person and why they act the way they do.

Use conflict resolution skills

Conflict resolution skills can come in handy anytime you’re dealing with family drama. These skills involve managing stress in the moment , being aware of both your own emotions and the other person’s, and prioritizing resolution over winning the argument.

You might notice that an aging parent is lashing out due to a feeling of declining independence. A deescalating step might be to ask them to do you a favor or give them a task that allows them to feel needed.

[Read: Conflict Resolution Skills]

Limit expectations and practice acceptance

Make peace with the fact that some people have viewpoints or priorities that may never match your own. Your adult children, siblings, or parents will do what they feel is right for them, and you can’t control their behavior. Try to treasure the relationship for what it is, or focus on other relationships that bring you joy.

At what point is a dysfunctional family relationship no longer worth saving? That may depend on different factors.

What’s the potential for change? The other person must be willing to acknowledge the problem and work to change. Some people don’t want to change, and you can’t control their behavior. If you’re dealing with a narcissistic family member , their inflated self-image, lack of empathy, and manipulative ways can hinder any meaningful progress.

How severe is the conflict? In cases of abuse , it’s usually advisable to cut ties with the family member. Remember that abuse doesn’t necessarily have to be physical. People who subject you to verbal, emotional, or psychological abuse can also harm your sense of well-being. This could include a father-in-law who aims to humiliate you or siblings who use guilt-tripping to manipulate you.

Dealing with doubts

Cutting ties means ending contact with the difficult family member, which is not always easy. You might repeatedly question your decision or have a hard time accepting that the relationship is unsalvageable.

Keep a list of specific reasons why you’ve decided to end contact. Did the person cross your boundaries too many times? Did the stress of your interactions negatively affect other areas of your life? Write it all down, so you don’t forget.

How to deal with the grief of ending a relationship

Depending on how close you were to the family member, you may need to take time to grieve the loss of the relationship.

Rather than suppress your feelings, identify and acknowledge them. It’s normal to experience anything from anger to sadness to guilt following the end of a relationship. You should also expect grief to intensify on days that remind you of the family member, such as birthdays or holidays.

Talk to friends and other family members about the situation. Now is a good time to reach out for support. Tell the supportive people in your life what you need from them. You might even strengthen bonds with other family members.

Maintain your hobbies and health. Continue to engage in activities you love, and look after your physical healthy by exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, and eating nutritious foods. Don’t use drugs or alcohol to cope with your negative feelings .

Moving forward

Over time, people’s behaviors and circumstances can change. So, know that cutting off ties doesn’t necessarily have to be permanent. If you see evidence that your family member is truly willing to make amends, there may be a chance of reconciliation.

Don’t rush reconciliation, though. You should both accept that the process may take time and requires concrete steps for improving the relationship. With a combination of patience and improved communication , you might be able to repair that broken bond and move forward with a healthier relationship.

More Information

• Help with Relationships - Articles addressing common relationship problems, such as arguments, conflict, and communication. (Relate UK)
• Buist, K. L., van Tergouw, M. S., Koot, H. M., & Branje, S. (2019). Longitudinal Linkages between Older and Younger Sibling Depressive Symptoms and Perceived Sibling Relationship Quality. Journal of Youth and Adolescence , 48(6), 1190–1202. Link
• Con, G., Suitor, J. J., Rurka, M., & Gilligan, M. (2019). Adult Children’s Perceptions of Maternal Favoritism During Caregiving: Comparisons Between Turkey and the United States. Research on Aging , 41(2), 139–163. Link
• Full-report-caregiving-in-the-united-states-01-21.pdf. (n.d.). Retrieved January 12, 2022, from Link
• Gilligan, M., Suitor, J., Nam, S., Routh, B., Rurka, M., & Con, G. (2017). Family Networks and Psychological Well-Being in Midlife. Social Sciences , 6(3), 94. Link
• Paradis, A. D., Reinherz, H. Z., Giaconia, R. M., Beardslee, W. R., Ward, K., & Fitzmaurice, G. M. (2009). Long-Term Impact of Family Arguments and Physical Violence on Adult Functioning at Age 30 Years: Findings From the Simmons Longitudinal Study. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry , 48(3), 290–298. Link
• Schoppe-Sullivan, S. J., Coleman, J., Wang, J., & Yan, J. J. (2021). Mothers’ attributions for estrangement from their adult children. Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice . Link
• Sechrist, J., Suitor, J. J., Vargas, N., & Pillemer, K. (2011). The Role of Perceived Religious Similarity in the Quality of Mother-child Relations in Later Life: Differences Within Families and Between Races. Research on Aging , 33(1), 3–27. Link
• Suitor, J. J., Gilligan, M., Johnson, K., & Pillemer, K. (2014). Caregiving, Perceptions of Maternal Favoritism, and Tension Among Siblings. The Gerontologist , 54(4), 580–588. Link
• Waldinger, R. J., Vaillant, G. E., & Orav, E. J. (2007). Childhood Sibling Relationships as a Predictor of Major Depression in Adulthood: A 30-Year Prospective Study. American Journal of Psychiatry , 164(6), 949–954. Link

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Family Problems: Unpacking the Dynamics and Finding Solutions

Family problems are something all of us grapple with, whether we’d like to admit it or not. Nobody’s family is perfect and every family faces its own unique set of challenges and hurdles. I’ve learned over time that the key isn’t about completely avoiding these issues, but rather finding effective ways to navigate through them.

Having spent years studying family dynamics, I’ve come to understand that these problems can range from simple disagreements to deep-rooted conflicts extending back generations. It’s important to remember that this doesn’t mean your family is ‘broken’ or ‘dysfunctional’. On the contrary, confronting and working through these issues can often lead to stronger bonds and deeper understanding among family members.

In this article, I’ll delve deeper into some common types of family problems many of us face and offer practical advice on how you can manage them effectively. Remember, it’s not about having a problem-free life, but learning how to deal with those problems when they do arise.

Understanding Family Problems: An Overview

Family problems. We’ve all had them, and let’s be real, they’re never fun. But it’s important to understand that these issues aren’t unique to any one household. In fact, they’re a universal experience.

To put things into perspective, family problems may arise from a multitude of factors. These range from financial difficulties to personal disagreements, health issues or even differing ideologies. It’s like a tricky puzzle that needs careful solving – each family has its own set of pieces with different shapes and sizes.

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), some of the most common family issues include:

• Communication breakdown
• Parental discipline styles
• Substance abuse
• Divorce or separation
• Behavioral problems in children

Here’s an interesting piece of data from APA:

Quite a sobering table, isn’t it? But remember this – understanding is always the first step towards resolution. Afterall, you can’t solve what you don’t understand.

The good news is there are numerous resources available today for families facing such hurdles – professional counseling services, self-help books and online communities are just some examples.

So buckle up! As we delve deeper into this topic over the next few sections, I’m confident we’ll uncover ways to navigate these familial challenges together.

Common Types of Family Problems

Family problems. It’s a phrase we’ve all heard, but what does it actually mean? Well, let’s take a closer dive into the complexities that make up this term.

One common type of family problem is communication breakdown. Often times, members within a family struggle to effectively express their thoughts and feelings to each other. This can result in misunderstandings, conflicts and hurt feelings. A lack of open, honest communication can create tension and lead to further issues down the line.

Next on the list is financial stress. Many families grapple with money-related issues on a regular basis which can lead to significant strain on relationships within the family unit. Financial problems may include job loss, debt accumulation or disagreements about how funds should be managed or spent.

Substance abuse also falls under the umbrella of family problems. When one member suffers from addiction, it inevitably impacts everyone else in the family too – leading to emotional turmoil and instability at home.

Another prevalent type of issue is mental health disorders such as depression or anxiety among family members which often go unnoticed or untreated for long periods of time causing disruption in normal functioning and harmony at home.

Finally there’s divorce or separation – one of the most difficult types of familial disruptions both emotionally and logistically for everyone involved especially children who are caught in between parents’ disputes.

To summarize:

• Communication Breakdown
• Financial Stress
• Substance Abuse
• Mental Health Disorders
• Divorce or Separation

These are just few examples drawn from a vast array of potential challenges families face today. And remember, no two families are alike so what constitutes as ‘problems ‘ will vary greatly depending on individual circumstances and dynamics within each unique household.

Effects of Family Problems on Individual Members

Family problems can take a heavy toll on each member, affecting their psychological well-being, physical health and social interactions. Let’s dive deeper into these effects.

Firstly, on the emotional front, family issues often lead to stress and anxiety. It’s not uncommon for individuals to feel overwhelmed, resulting in sleep problems or mood swings. For children especially, this constant state of tension may lead to behavioral issues at school or home.

The impact isn’t just emotional – it’s physical too. Research has shown that ongoing family strife can manifest as health issues like headaches, high blood pressure or digestive problems. One study found that adults from broken homes were 44% more likely to suffer from a stroke compared with those from stable families.

Socially speaking, these internal struggles can seep into one’s external relationships as well. They may create barriers when forming new relationships or strain existing ones with friends or partners.

Let me share some statistics:

We need to bear in mind though that these figures represent averages and there will always be individual deviations based on personal resilience and available support structures.

In conclusion (without actually saying “in conclusion”), I’ll note how vital it is for families facing difficulties to seek professional help if necessary – therapists and counselors can provide valuable guidance toward resolution and healing.

How to Identify and Address Family Conflicts

Family conflicts can often bubble up without us even realizing it. It’s crucial to be aware of these issues, as addressing them promptly can help maintain a harmonious family environment.

One common indicator of family conflict is consistent disagreement. If you find your family gatherings marred by constant bickering or discord over trivial matters, it’s likely there’s some deeper issue at play. It could be resentment brewing under the surface or unresolved past conflicts making their presence felt.

Another sign could be withdrawal from family activities. When someone in the household begins avoiding spending time with others, it may signal an underlying problem. Whether they’re feeling left out, unheard, or emotionally overwhelmed – such behavior could point towards a potential family conflict.

Now that we’ve identified these signs let’s talk about addressing them:

• Open Communication: Encourage everyone in the house to express their feelings and concerns openly. Make sure they know that it’s okay to disagree sometimes.
• Active Listening: Ensure all parties involved feel heard and understood during discussions about conflicts.
• Seek External Help: If the situation seems too overwhelming for you to handle alone, considering seeking professional guidance from therapists or counselors who specialize in resolving family issues.

Remember, ignoring problems won’t make them disappear magically; instead, it exacerbates them over time. By recognizing and confronting these issues head-on, we have a better chance of fostering peace within our households and strengthening familial bonds.

Strategies for Resolving Family Issues

Family issues, we’ve all got ’em. They’re as common as the cold and can be just as tricky to shake off. But don’t despair! With the right strategies in place, you might find these problems easier to tackle than you’d think.

First off, let’s talk about communication. It’s often at the root of many family conflicts. We’re not mind readers after all, so how else can we understand each other? Regular family meetings can serve as a great platform for everyone to voice their concerns and frustrations in a controlled environment. Remember though, it’s crucial that everyone gets a chance to speak and is treated with respect during these discussions.

Secondly, try practicing empathy. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes for a change. Seeing things from another perspective can lead to some surprising revelations and help defuse tense situations.

Thirdly, consider seeking professional help if needed. There should be no shame or stigma attached to this option. Therapists are trained professionals who can provide valuable insights and advice on handling family disputes.

Lastly but by no means least: patience! Change doesn’t happen overnight and old habits die hard – so give it time !

So there you have it – my top tips for resolving family issues:

• Regular Communication
• Professional Help

Remember these aren’t definitive solutions but rather strategies that could potentially alleviate some of those pesky familial tensions.

Professional Help for Serious Family Problems

Let’s face it, we all have our fair share of family problems. Sometimes they’re small, other times they can be quite serious. But when those problems start to become overwhelming, it’s often best to seek professional help. Psychiatrists, therapists and social workers are trained to handle a wide range of family issues – from marital conflicts to behavioral issues in children.

Family therapy is one such resource that families can tap into. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), nearly 90% of clients report an improvement in their emotional health after pursuing therapy. This form of intervention allows every member of the family to voice their thoughts and feelings in a safe environment.

But therapy isn’t the only avenue available for families facing troubles. Support groups also offer a valuable lifeline for individuals grappling with similar issues. These communities provide much-needed comfort, practical advice and reassurance that you’re not alone in your struggles.

For more severe cases where there’s risk involved – such as domestic violence or child abuse – immediate action is crucial. Organizations like the National Domestic Violence Hotline or Child Protective Services are equipped to intervene promptly and ensure safety.

• The National Domestic Violence Hotline : Provides round-the-clock support through phone calls or online chats.
• Child Protective Services (CPS) : An agency dedicated towards ensuring child welfare.

Ultimately, remember this: It’s okay to ask for help when things get tough at home. There are plenty of professionals out there ready and willing to lend a hand. Seeking assistance isn’t a sign of weakness; instead, it shows courage – acknowledging there’s an issue is already half the battle won!

Case Studies: Families Overcoming Difficulties

Let’s dive into some real-life examples of families who’ve faced serious difficulties, and most importantly, how they managed to overcome them. It’s crucial to remember that each family is unique, with their own set of challenges and coping mechanisms.

Meet the Andersons. They’re a middle-aged couple with two kids in high school. Life was sailing smooth until Mr. Anderson lost his job unexpectedly. This sudden loss of income shook their stability and led to significant financial stress within the family unit. But, they didn’t let this setback define them. Instead, they took it as an opportunity for change – Mrs. Anderson returned to work part-time while Mr. Anderson started his own small business.

Next up are the Garcias – a large extended family living under one roof consisting of grandparents, parents, children and grandchildren alike! Their challenge? Communication gaps and generational clashes were tearing at their familial bonds almost daily due to diverse age groups within one household. Their solution? Regular ‘family meetings’ where everyone had an open platform to voice their concerns or issues without judgement or interruption.

Last but not least are the Smiths – a single mother with three young children struggling with time management between work responsibilities and childcare duties after her recent divorce. Her solution? She sought out professional counseling services that helped her develop effective strategies for balancing work-life responsibilities along with nurturing emotional health during this challenging transition period.

These examples serve to remind us that problems within the family unit can be varied and complex, but they’re certainly not insurmountable. It’s all about identifying the issues, being open to seeking help, and most importantly – believing in one’s ability to overcome.

Conclusion: Turning Challenges into Opportunities

The road may be rocky, but let’s not forget that family problems can serve as catalysts for growth and change. I’ve seen it happen time and again. Families, riddled with issues, find a way to turn these challenges into opportunities.

When dealing with family problems, it’s important to remember that every challenge is an opportunity in disguise. For instance:

• A strained relationship can strengthen bonds over time. It might push us out of our comfort zones and force us to communicate more effectively.
• Financial difficulties could lead us to discover new ways of budgeting or even inspire a career shift.
• Disagreements on how to raise children might make us re-evaluate our own values and beliefs.

It’s important not just to focus on the negative aspects of these situations. Instead, see them as chances for personal growth and improved relationships within the family.

Overcoming family problems requires patience, understanding, and resilience. These are traits that we can cultivate during tough times. Once honed, they become invaluable tools in navigating life’s ups and downs.

Remember this: families aren’t perfect because perfection doesn’t exist in any human endeavor. We’re all works-in-progress learning from our experiences – both good and bad! So let’s take those challenges head-on.

• View each challenge as an opportunity for growth.
• Cultivate patience, understanding, and resilience during difficult times.
• Remember that no family is perfect; we’re all learning together!

By adopting this mindset toward any problem you encounter within your family unit you’ll start seeing them less as insurmountable obstacles but rather stepping stones towards better communication skills or stronger relationships between members.

In the end, it’s about changing how we perceive these issues – by turning challenges into opportunities for development – which could ultimately lead to harmonious familial relations down the line!

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23 Family Therapy Techniques to Strengthen Your Relationships

Family therapy can provide an avenue to both individual and collective healing for a multitude of different issues.

The origins of family therapy did not emerge until the 1940s and 1950s (Carr, 2012). Researchers and clinicians challenged the dominant psychoanalytic view of emotional disorders by proposing that these disorders were symptoms of troubled family relationships rather than subconscious issues (Goldenberg, 2017).

Research on psychotherapeutic work with family came from theories rooted in sociology, anthropology, and biology to create an in-depth understanding of the complex family interaction (Goldenberg, 2017).

Having developed significantly throughout the years, family therapy techniques are foundational to the healing process. We look at family therapy techniques you can apply in your practice and the scenarios they are best suited for.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Positive Relationships Exercises for free . These detailed, science-based exercises will help you or your clients build healthy, life-enriching relationships.

This Article Contains

An overview of types of family therapy techniques, 4 family therapy techniques for better communication, 4 family therapy activities for anxiety, 3 family therapy interventions for depression, 3 family therapy strategies for dealing with addiction, 3 family therapy exercises for trauma, 3 family therapy approaches for anger management, 3 family therapy techniques for grief, helpful resources from positivepsychology.com, a take-home message, frequently asked questions.

Family therapy is a type of therapy that addresses family or relational conflict and helps improve communication and interaction between members (Carr, 2012).

There are many variations of family therapy techniques, but most fall within four dominant models: structural family therapy, Bowenian or intergenerational family therapy, strategic family therapy, and systemic family therapy (Milan model).

1. Structural family therapy

Structural family therapy was developed by Salvador Minuchin (1974), who theorized that a family needs to maintain a certain hierarchy in order to remain healthy.

A technique often employed in this type of family therapy is the completion of a structural map, where boundaries and hierarchies of the family are outlined. Once the map is presented, a therapist can encourage members to change in ways that create a healthier structure or dynamic between members.

2. Bowenian family therapy

One of the first comprehensive theories of family therapy was created by Murray Bowen (1971), who believed that the goal of therapy was self-differentiation.

Self-differentiation is the ability to separate the specific issues or symptoms of various family members. Bowenian therapy techniques include using genograms to identify intergenerational family dynamics, pointing out the dynamics between members through psychoeducation, and working with individual family members on specific issues (Bowen, 1971).

3. Strategic family therapy

Strategic family therapy maintains that family problems occur through repeated maladaptive family interactions (Carr, 2012).

Strategic family therapy techniques involve motivating the family to change behavior patterns through homework, experimentation, paradoxical intention , and work outside the therapy session.

4. Systemic family therapy

Systemic family therapists believe that family members develop problematic symptoms or mental health issues to cope with the behavior of other members (Carr, 2012).

In this form of therapy, the therapist is a neutral figure with the goal of getting family members to question their understanding of the family system in order to change distressful behaviors.

Circular questioning is the primary therapeutic technique used in systemic family therapy (Carr, 2012). Circular questioning encourages clients to think about connections between family members by introducing other people’s perceptions and different views of situations. This video provides a good example of circular questioning.

Communication is a foundational but often overlooked aspect of healthy relationships . Most people assume they know how to communicate, which can exacerbate any underlying problems within the family system (Durante et al., 2023).

There are several effective family therapy techniques that can help improve communication in relationships.

1. Active listening

Active listening techniques involve paraphrasing what another family member says. The goal of active listening is to understand another person’s perspective so they feel heard and understood (Durante et al., 2023). This can build trust and improve general levels of communication.

2. Positive reinforcement

Positive reinforcement is a behavioral psychology technique that encourages good behavior (Durante et al., 2023). A specific behavior can be targeted (such as getting a child to complete their homework), and a tangible reward is selected once the behavior is completed (such as allowing extra screen time or going out for ice cream).

Positive reinforcement is an effective way to increase positive behavior for any member of the family.

3. Soft start-ups

Soft start-ups are a method of communicating a need to a partner or loved one that avoids a defensive reaction. According to The Gottman Institute , soft start-ups involve using “I” versus “you” and describing how one feels in the situation rather than placing blame (Lisitsa, n.d.).

Saying “I do not feel heard right now,” rather than “you never listen to me,” is a much more effective way to communicate.

4. Mindful body language

Body language is a more powerful way to communicate than with words (Durante et al., 2023). Therefore, paying attention to body language can greatly impact how a message is received and interpreted.

Getting clients to pay attention to eye contact, eye rolling, sighing, crossed arms, clenched fists, and frowning can be an effective way to improve communication. This can be done in a family therapy session by simply pointing out observed body language and asking clients to practice changing it.

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Relationship conflict within families and intimate partners is significantly higher when one or more of the individuals struggles with an anxiety disorder (Chambless, 2012).

There are numerous activities that can help families and relationships deal with an anxiety disorder.

1. Thought record

Family members can create a thought record of negative and anxious thoughts when they come up. This can be done in a journal or notebook and brought to family therapy sessions. In session, family members will share their anxious thoughts, and other family members can help the client come up with thought replacements.

2. Exposure therapy

Exposure therapy involves gradually exposing an individual to something that causes fear or anxiety (Cleveland Clinic, n.d.).

Exposure therapy activities in family therapy might involve identifying something that one member is avoiding due to fear. This might be anything from a type of animal to social settings.

Family members can create an “exposure hierarchy” with the anxious member. This hierarchy starts with the most terrifying experience (holding a spider) and ends with something less scary (such as looking at a picture of the spider). Family members can work with the individual to move through the hierarchy gradually and provide a safe space of comfort so that the anxious client can overcome their fear.

3. Behavioral activation

Behavioral activation is a technique that helps individuals understand and experience how behavior affects emotions (Carr, 2012). Behavioral activation activities can be introduced and applied in family therapy settings to help one or more members with anxiety.

Behavioral activation activities for anxiety can include deep-breathing exercises (such as square breathing, three-part breathing, or mindful breathing), exercising, scheduling positive activities to reduce avoidance, and identifying goals and values.

Family members can review the most effective activities and implement them in their daily and weekly lives.

4. Feel-good file

Family members will create a manila folder and label it the “Feel-Good File.” It can be decorated and designed by individuals.

Family members will write down one positive strength for another family member on an index card. These index cards are compiled into the client’s file so each member eventually has a folder full of their own strength cards .

Family members can use these folders and refer back to their personal strengths during times of stress and anxiety.

These effects can dramatically impact relationships and families for generations. There are several effective family therapy interventions that can minimize the negative impact depression has.

1. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy

Although Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is often used for individuals, CBT techniques can be effectively applied to family therapy (Yulia et al., 2016).

The goal of CBT is to help family members identify faulty thinking patterns and change them, which results in positive emotional and behavioral outcomes (Yulia et al., 2016). It teaches family members that they cannot always change circumstances, situations, or other people, but they can change their perception and response.

2. Interpersonal psychotherapy

Interpersonal psychotherapy is a structured, short-term form of therapy that focuses on relationships, communication, and here-and-now problems (Dietz, 2020).

It can be a helpful treatment for depression by addressing specific issues within the family system and working on collaborative problem-solving skills to reduce negative thoughts and feelings.

3. Psychoeducation

Psychoeducation on depression, depressive symptoms, and underlying causes can be helpful for families. Psychoeducation involves educating individuals and family members about the brain, chemical imbalances, symptoms, and treatment of depression (Suijit et al., 2020).

It can provide insight about the disorder, identify effective problem-solving techniques, prevent relapse, and improve relationships.

According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse (2023), treating addiction is most successful when the needs of the whole person are addressed.

Addiction is a complex issue and is typically thought about in three phases: treating withdrawal, treating the root causes of addiction, and preventing relapse. Several family therapy strategies are useful in treating addiction. These include contingency management, 12-step facilitation, and brief strategic family therapy.

1. Twelve-step facilitation

Twelve-step facilitation is much like the 12-step process of Alcoholics Anonymous and is not necessarily a medical treatment for addiction, but a complementary addition to support treatment (National Institute on Drug Abuse, 2023).

As the name implies, it is a strategy that involves 12 weeks following the themes of acceptance, surrender, and active involvement in recovery.

2. Contingency management

Contingency management is a therapeutic strategy that uses positive reinforcement to encourage sobriety and recovery (National Institute on Drug Abuse, 2023).

Rewards and privileges are given when clients attend counseling sessions or meetings, attain drug-free milestones, or take medication as prescribed.

3. Brief Strategic Family Therapy (BSFT)

BSFT is an intervention that focuses on practical, problem-focused, and planned strategies (Szapocznik et al., 2013). Some of these strategies include:

• Practical strategies may include behavioral contracts, where clients sign a contract agreeing to do or not do certain things related to the addiction
• Problem-focused strategies focus on maladaptive family interactions as they relate directly to the addiction. Implementing clear rules, increasing parental involvement, creating guidelines and routine communication are examples of this.
• Tracking is another strategy used as a method of systematically identifying family interactions to address strengths and weaknesses (Szapocznik et al., 2013). These interactions are recorded and linked back to addictive behaviors to create an effective treatment plan for both the individual and the family involved.

1. Genogram creation

Constructing a genogram allows clients to visually map out family relationships, history, and dynamics. It can reveal patterns of trauma transmission across generations, which leads to understanding and discussion among family members.

2. Narrative therapy

Narrative therapy encourages each family member to share their story related to a specific trauma. This can help in understanding differing perspectives, validating experiences, and creating empathy among family members.

3. Family sculpting or role-play

Role-play activities and family sculpting explore family relationships, dynamics, and the meaning of the trauma. This can help family members understand various perspectives and lead to healthy healing.

Anger is a natural emotion. Experiencing anger when feeling threatened or attacked is a survival technique that has helped humans survive since the beginning of evolution (Williams, 1993).

However, anger can cause a lot of distress and conflict in relationships when it is not managed appropriately.

1. Play therapy

Play therapy can be an effective technique to help children in families deal with anger (Nelson et al., 2012). Anger in children can be a sign of social, school, or environmental factors within their lives.

Play therapy techniques such as drawing to express feelings, role-play with dress-up, and age-appropriate games can be helpful teaching tools for children struggling with anger management (Nelson et al., 2012).

2. Emotional regulation training

Regulating emotions is not about suppressing them. As mentioned, anger can serve a purpose as a powerful emotion. Learning to regulate emotions is about training clients to identify and feel the emotions but not respond irrationally to them.

Things like naming and identifying anger, meditation, mindfulness, physical activity, and learning to pause before responding are all pieces of emotional regulation training.

The Anger Exit and Re-Entry Routines worksheet can be used as a helpful tool in family therapy to work on emotional regulation skills within relationships.

3. Anger management training

Anger management training involves identifying specific triggers and responses, learning strategies to diffuse or avoid, and changing thoughts and attitudes about anger (Williams, 1993).

Clients will record specific incidents where they felt angry and identify a theme that triggers the emotion. Clients are also taught to become more aware of individual responses to these situations and work to find alternate responses.

CBT is often included in anger management training as a way to identify specific thoughts (such as rumination) that lead to increased levels and prolonged duration of anger.

There are many types of grief, but ultimately, it is the emotional suffering experienced when something or someone is taken away (Lichtenthal & Breibart, 2015).

Kubler-Ross famously established the five stages of grief in 1969. These stages can emerge in any order, at any time, and include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (Simon et al., 2011).

Various family therapy techniques can be used to help families and family members move through the grief process.

1. Making sense of loss

This is also known as “positive reframing,” which can be cognitive, focusing on thoughts, or emotional, focusing on feelings (Lichtenthal & Breibart, 2015).

It is hard to see positives in grief and loss, and clients may only be open to this technique during certain stages of the grief process. Making sense of loss or positive reframing is not discarding the negative aspects of it, but focusing on positive memories, lessons learned, or things that still connect the client with the person lost.

2. Creating new traditions

It is often helpful to create new routines, rituals, and traditions after the loss of a loved one or major life change. In family therapy sessions, members can discuss and brainstorm ideas of things they want to try, experience, or continue for holidays, vacations, milestones/major dates, etc.

The establishment of new traditions can help family members process grief and move on to enjoy a “new normal” (Lichtenthal & Breibart, 2015).

3. Find identity and purpose

Individuals can experience grief for many reasons. These include more than losing someone important. It can be the loss of health, the loss of a career, or any major life transition that involves change and loss.

Helping family members find a new identity and purpose after the change and loss can bring healing and hope to both the individual and the family unit (Simon et al., 2011).

17 Exercises for Positive, Fulfilling Relationships

Empower others with the skills to cultivate fulfilling, rewarding relationships and enhance their social wellbeing with these 17 Positive Relationships Exercises [PDF].

Created by experts. 100% Science-based.

PositivePsychology.com has a wealth of resources that can be used in family therapy.

For a start, you might want to peruse our article, How to Practice Family Constellation Therapy or the worksheets offered in the article Internal Family Systems Therapy .

The Interpersonal Skills Acronyms worksheet is based on the DEARMAN, GIVE, and FAST concepts found in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. It can help couples and family members communicate, interact, and respect one another during times of conflict or disagreement.

Codependency is a common problem in relationships and generally begins with maladaptive behaviors found in the family unit. This worksheet — Codependent Relationships: Beliefs, Attributes, and Outcomes — outlines the difference between codependent and healthy relationships and can be a helpful guide for clients.

If you’re looking for more science-based ways to help others build healthy relationships, check out this collection of 17 validated positive relationships tools for practitioners . Use them to help others form healthier, more nurturing, and life-enriching relationships.

Relationships and families can be complex, dynamic, and multifaceted. Family therapy is based on the idea that the family is a system of different parts.

When one member of the family struggles with mental health issues, it affects the entire family system. Family members often adapt to mental health issues by getting stuck in unhealthy behavior patterns.

This article has outlined a few of the mental health issues, family therapy techniques, and activities that can be addressed through therapy. Family therapy can help all members make positive changes and work toward individual and collective healing.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Positive Relationships Exercises for free .

The main techniques of strategic family therapy include joining, family mapping, modifying interactions, reframing, creating boundaries, and family sculpting (Carr, 2012).

According to Carr (2012), the five stages of family therapy are building rapport, assessment, restructuring and communication enhancement, resolution/healing, and integration and maintenance.

Structural therapy is one of the most popular and common types of family therapies used to date (Goldenberg, 2017).

• Bowen, M. (1971). The use of family theory in clinical practice. In J. Haley (Ed.), Changing families . Grune & Stratton.
• Carr, A. (2012). Family therapy: Concepts, process and practice . John Wiley & Sons.
• Chambless, D. (2012). Adjunctive couple and family intervention for patients with anxiety disorders. Journal of Clinical Psychology , 65 (5), 548–560.
• Cleveland Clinic. (n.d.). Exposure therapy . Retrieved November 28, 2023, from https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/25067-exposure-therapy.
• Dietz, L. J. (2020). Family-based interpersonal psychotherapy: An intervention for preadolescent depression. American Journal of Psychotherapy , 73 (1), 22–28.
• Durante, J., Sims, J., Jarin, J., Gold, M., Messiah, S., & Francis, J. (2023). A review of practices to support better communication, counseling and adherence. Adolescent Health, Medicine and Therapeutics , 14 , 97–114.
• Goldenberg, I. (2017). Family therapy: An overview . Cengage Learning.
• Lichtenthal, W., & Breibart, W. (2015). The central role of meaning in adjustment to the loss of a child to cancer: Implications for the development of meaning-centered grief therapy. Current Opinion in Supportive and Palliative Care , 9 (1), 46–51.
• Lisitsa, E. (n.d.) How to fight smarter: Soften your start-up . The Gottman Institute. Retrieved November 28, 2023, from https://www.gottman.com/blog/softening-startup/.
• Minuchin, S. (1974). Families and family therapy . Tavistock Publications.
• National Institute on Drug Abuse. (2023) Treatment and recovery. Retrieved November 28, 2023, from https://nida.nih.gov/publications/drugs-brains-behavior-science-addiction/treatment-recovery.
• Nelson, W., Finch, A., & Ghee, A. (2012). Anger management with children and adolescents. In P.C. Kentall (Ed.), Child and adolescent therapy: Cognitive-behavioral procedures (pp. 92–139). Guilford Press.
• Simon, N. M., Wall, M. M., Keshaviah, A., Dryman, M. T., LeBlanc, N. J., & Shear, M. K. (2011). Informing the symptom profile of complicated grief. Depression and Anxiety , 28 (2), 118–126.
• Suijit, S., Singh, O., & Aurora, M. (2020). Clinical practice guidelines for psychoeducation in psychiatric disorders general principles of psychoeducation. Indian Journal of Psychiatry , 62 (2).
• Szapocznik, J., Zarate, M., Duff, J., & Muir, J. (2013). Brief strategic family therapy: Engaging drug using/problem behavior adolescents and their families into treatment. Social Work and Public Health , 28 , 206–223.
• Williams, R. (1993). Anger kills . Random House.
• Yulia, L., Mueser, K., Wyka, K., Shreck, E., Jespersen, R., Jacobs, M., Griffin, K., Gaag, M., Reyna, V., Beck, A., Silbersweig, D., & Walkup, J. (2016). Development of a group and family-based cognitive behavioral therapy program for youth at risk for psychosis. Early Interventions in Psychiatry , 10 (6), 511–521.

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Resolve Family Conflict: 5 Strategies from a Professional Family Counselor

by Jason Link | May 16, 2023 | Uncategorized | 90 comments

Family conflicts are a natural part of life, but they can be distressing and take a toll on relationships. However, with the right strategies, conflicts can be resolved in a healthy and constructive manner. 

As a professional family counselor, I have seen a lot of family conflicts. Along the way, I have found that there are some basic strategies to resolve most of these issues. So today, join me, Jason T. Link, LPC as we explore five effective strategies that can help families navigate conflicts and build stronger bonds.

Effective Communication

One of the most crucial strategies to resolve family conflicts is effective communication. Often, conflicts arise due to misunderstandings or miscommunications. Encouraging open and honest dialogue is essential to address the underlying issues. Here are some tips to promote effective communication:

Active Listening

Give your full attention to the person speaking, maintain eye contact, and show empathy. Listen without interrupting or making assumptions.

Use “I” Statements

Express your feelings and concerns using “I” statements instead of blaming or accusing others. For example, say, “I feel hurt when…” instead of “You always…”

Validate Emotions

Acknowledge and validate the emotions of each family member. This fosters an environment of empathy and understanding.

Collaboration and Compromise

Collaboration and compromise are key elements in resolving family conflicts. Encourage family members to work together to find mutually beneficial solutions.

Brainstorming

Gather all family members involved in the conflict and encourage them to share their perspectives and potential solutions. Create a safe space for everyone to contribute.

Finding Common Ground

Look for areas of agreement or shared values to build upon. Focus on common goals and work towards finding compromises that satisfy everyone involved.

Negotiation

Encourage family members to negotiate and find a middle ground. Emphasize the importance of give-and-take, understanding that no one’s interests should be entirely disregarded.

Seek Mediation or Counseling

In some cases, family conflicts may be complex or deeply rooted, requiring professional intervention. Seeking mediation or family counseling can be immensely helpful. A neutral third party can facilitate communication and guide the family toward resolution. A skilled mediator or therapist can provide valuable insights and techniques to address conflicts effectively and restore harmony within the family.

Practice Empathy and Forgiveness

Empathy and forgiveness are powerful tools in resolving family conflicts. Encouraging family members to understand each other’s perspectives and to let go of grudges can promote healing and reconciliation. Here’s how to cultivate empathy and forgiveness.

Put Yourself in Their Shoes

Encourage family members to consider the other person’s feelings, experiences, and motivations. This helps foster empathy and understanding.

Let Go of Resentment

Teach family members the importance of forgiveness and the negative impact that holding onto grudges can have on relationships. Encourage them to release resentment and move forward.

Apologize and Accept Apologies

Encourage family members to take responsibility for their actions and apologize when necessary. Likewise, teach them to accept apologies sincerely.

Set Boundaries and Establish Clear Expectations

Establishing boundaries and setting clear expectations within the family can prevent conflicts from escalating. It provides a framework for respectful interactions and helps maintain healthy relationships.

Define Personal Space

Encourage each family member to have their own physical and emotional space, ensuring that everyone’s boundaries are respected.

Communicate Expectations

Clearly communicate expectations regarding responsibilities, chores, and behavior. This reduces the likelihood of misunderstandings and conflicts.

Reinforce Mutual Respect

Emphasize the importance of treating one another with respect and kindness. Reinforce positive interactions that highlight good examples of respect.

Key Takeaways

Resolving family conflicts is crucial for maintaining healthy and harmonious relationships. By implementing the five strategies discussed in this article—effective communication, collaboration and compromise, seeking mediation or counseling, practicing empathy and forgiveness, and setting boundaries—families can navigate conflicts with greater understanding, empathy, and respect. 

Remember that conflicts are opportunities for growth and learning. By approaching conflicts with an open mind and a willingness to find common ground, families can strengthen their bonds, foster deeper connections, and create a supportive environment where love and understanding prevail. Through these strategies, families can build a solid foundation of trust, resilience, and harmony for a brighter future together.

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• Family Life

How to Solve Your Family Problems

Last Updated: February 29, 2024 Approved

This article was co-authored by Jin S. Kim, MA . Jin Kim is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based out of Los Angeles, California. Jin specializes in working with LGBTQ individuals, people of color, and those that may have challenges related to reconciling multiple and intersectional identities. Jin received his Masters in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University Los Angeles, with a specialization in LGBT-Affirming Psychology, in 2015. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. This article has 16 testimonials from our readers, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed 464,972 times.

Most of us have been there: Families can be very difficult, and family problems are very painful. However, there are ways to solve family problems and restore peace to the dynamic. Life is too short to waste time bogged down with negativity towards the people you love. How you approach the family member and what you say can make a big difference.

Beginning the Discussion

• Don't discuss the family problem when you're still feeling upset or emotional. If you wait even a single night, the intensity of the emotion is likely to subside somewhat, even if you're still unhappy.
• Waiting allows you to approach the issue logically, rather than emotionally. If you take a step back and give yourself some time to think before dealing with the issue, you won’t deal with it so reactively.
• Approaching someone when you are angry will heighten the intensity around an already tough situation. There's no reason you can't wait to make your point tomorrow, so control your instant impulse.

• That's because tone can too easily be misperceived by electronic communication. You might not think you sound angry, but you might sound angry by text to the person receiving it.
• Instead of sending off a text, pick up the telephone or, better yet, arrange an in-person meeting. Electronic communication means people lose the touchstones of body language, which can convey empathy and reduce the sting of a painful conversation.
• People say things by electronic communication that they would never say to another person's face, which is another reason to avoid it.

• Understanding that family members have faults, but you can still love them, is the first step toward addressing longstanding problems. Try to understand why they might act or think the way they do, as it can be a reflection of themselves rather than you.
• Accept your own faults, too. Accept blame when you deserve it. Try not to see family issues as all or nothing equations where someone is wrong and someone else (perhaps you) is right. Instead, try to perceive the gray areas. Nuances are exciting!
• It can do wonders to be the first person to apologize even if you really, truly, don’t think you did anything wrong. Say something like, “I can see you’re upset, and although this has been hard for me too, I am sorry. I really want to fix this, so let me know how I can do that.” That way if the family member continues the feud, at least you can say you took the high road.

• That means avoiding judgment words or name calling of the family member. It means avoiding accusatory words that are said in an angry tone. Blaming other people will make them defensive and prone to counter attacking, which will make the argument worse.
• Avoid the need to “win” the argument about the family problem. Instead, try to accept that there are two, or more, ways to see the point. Develop a plan for solving the problem together. Then, focus on organizing activities where you can have fun together, avoiding anything that could serve as a “trigger,” reigniting the problem. Explore new sides of your family members and new ways of relating to them.
• Keep your tone and voice calm and modulated, not raised and upset. Calmly and methodically explain your points, but with empathy for the other person. Always try to put yourself in the family member’s shoes. Make attempts to cool down the argument by throwing out conciliatory comments, like, “I see your point.”

• However, ultimately forgiveness is about freeing yourself from the corrosive nature of the dispute. Forgiving the family member is about letting go of the past so you can build a healthier future that is free of tension and stress.
• Tell the family member you forgive him or her if the family member has readily admitted blame for whatever is causing the problem. Say this with empathy. It will go a long way.
• Remember that every human being is imperfect and needing of forgiveness at one time or another on life’s journey. That’s including you, probably, at some point.

Getting at the Root of the Problem

• You may need to engage in some self-analysis here. Why am I hiding my issue from my family? Why am I so upset at this family issue? For example, perhaps you are struggling with financial concerns over how your mother is spending her money. You may then realize that you are concerned because you do not want her to end up with no way to support herself financially, as you do not have the means to provide for her.
• Don’t assume what other people are thinking. You need to talk to them to find out what they are really thinking. Avoid gossiping about other people in the family as this will probably get back to them and make it worse. Focus on causes, not symptoms. [1] X Research source
• However, a trusted family member, such as a parent or another sibling, might be able to help you figure out what is really going on, so it’s OK to talk to them in a way that is heartfelt and designed to solve or address the issue.

• In contrast, asking questions softens the conversation and can draw out what's really bothering the person. Questions make the family member feel like he or she is not being condemned. Ask the other family member his or her ideas for making the situation better.
• For example, let's say that your sister has been really distant from you lately and not inviting you out for coffee like she used to. You could say, "I've noticed that we haven't seen each as much as we used to. Why do you think that is?" Or, you may try to address your mother's spending habits by saying, "I've noticed that you have been spending more money on clothing lately. Are you being responsible with money?"
• Make sure the questions are open-ended so that they provoke the other person to elaborate. Then, truly listen to what the family member has to say.

• Perhaps an older, wiser family member can be asked to intervene and set up a meeting or talk to the other family member first, acting as sort of a mediator. In order to open the line of communication, you will have to set aside your pride. Remember it takes a big person to be the first person to tackle the problem. [3] X Research source
• Ignoring the problem while it festers will probably only make it worse in the long run as the coldness grows between you. It’s better to express how you feel, but choose the right time and way to do so. For example, it may be a bad idea to bring up a family problem at the Thanksgiving dinner table.
• Avoid drinking before having a tough family conversation. Alcohol can fuel emotions in a lot of people, even when used in moderation, and that’s usually not the best thing when trying to have a difficult family conversation.

Jin S. Kim, MA

Communicating with others doesn't have to be done face-to-face. If you're struggling to communicate with a family member, you could write a note or letter and leave it for them to find, or you could send a text message to discuss an issue and ask about talking later.

• Some family problems can be caused by differences of opinion, such as differing cultural values or beliefs. Parents and children may end up not able to agree on lifestyle choices and personal preferences or beliefs.
• Other family problems stem from substance abuse, mental health problems, bullying, lack of trust, change in family circumstances, financial issues, stress, sexuality-related issues, and jealousy.

Addressing the Family Problem

• The first step is trying to figure out whether the problem is solvable. That depends on the nature of the problem, and what’s already been done to solve it. If you’ve tried and tried and keep getting the same result, that may be different.
• But consider what points of common ground you have with the other person, and what points you would be willing to give in on. If you don’t give in on anything, you’re less likely to make headway in the dispute.
• One technique to develop compromise is for both people in the dispute to sit down and draw two circles that relate to the family problem. In the first circle, write down everything you’re not willing to compromise on. In the outer circle, write down the areas where you are willing to bend. Then, share the circles.

• Instead of broaching painful family problems at holiday gatherings or a big family dinner, try to figure out who the conflict is really between. If it's between you and one other family member, the rest of the family may feel very uncomfortable being dragged into it, because no one likes to be forced to take a side.
• Instead, ask the family member in question to meet you for lunch or coffee. Talking one-on-one in a neutral space can be a much better way to redress whatever grievances you have or they might have. People will say things individually that they would hesitate to say in a group.
• Don’t try talking to the family member when you’re distracted, working on a big work project, fielding a bunch of phone calls, doing the dishes, or the like. Instead, put everything down to focus on the issue and them.

• For example, perhaps the family problem involves a job loss, disability, or money problems. Calling the family together to come up with ideas to solve the problem helps everyone feel like they are doing something useful.
• Use the family council as the foundation to develop a strategy to move the family forward in a positive manner. More minds are usually better at tackling a problem than one is.
• Make sure one family member doesn’t dominate the discussion, and explain that anger or name calling should be checked at the door.

• Handwriting is good because it's more personal. It shows that you put care and thought behind the letter, and it seems warmer. That will make the other family members realize that you are trying.
• Some people communicate better in writing but veil their thoughts and emotions more in person or on the phone. If you are one of those people, a letter might be the way to go.
• In the letter, you should explain how you feel and why you want to address the family issue. Use the word "I" more than the word "you" in the letter so you are stating your perspective and not blaming or speaking for anyone else. Explain how the problem is affecting you, but also explain how you would like the problem to be resolved and why.

• Place the problem in front of the child. Explain the problem very clearly. You might say something like, "We have noticed that you don’t get out of bed easily, making you late for school a lot. This is a problem that we need to solve."
• Don’t act angry. Instead, ask the child for help solving the problem. Suggest that the child come up with a plan to solve the issue with your help.
• Give the child positive reinforcement if the child makes progress toward solving the problem. Try to dig out the real reasons for the problem. Is the child hard to wake up because the child is on social media too late, for example?
• Don’t play favorites with children. Let the child know you love the child and that you want to solve the problem because you care about the child and want things to be better.

Letting Go of Family Problems

• The question to ask yourself is whether the family member has brought negatives into your life, draining you emotionally, stealing from you financially, undermining you, or any number of bad behaviors.
• You have a right to draw boundaries to protect yourself. For example, perhaps you still see the negative family member at family events, and you treat them with respect when you do. However, perhaps you have decided to never visit with them one-on-one or lend them money. This is within your right to do.
• Explain the boundaries to the family member in a warm and loving manner. However, be firm. Perhaps you can't stay over at a family member's house because fights always occur when you visit, so you will stay at a nearby hotel instead.

• Some family problems, like grief over a loved one or a parents inability to accept you for who you are, may not have solutions. Instead, you may need to accept that you have tried your best to communicate and connect with your family, to no avail. You may then need to move on from the issue and try to live your life the best you can.
• Although such situations are intensely personal, generally you should consider cutting the family member out of your life if the family problem involves abuse, either physical or sexual. Abuse should not be tolerated, of yourself or others. Abuse situations should be reported to the police or child protective services.
• Serious substance abuse issues that continue to impact your life could be another reason. You can try to get a person help, but if they continue to refuse, you might have to cut them out for your own peace of mind.

• If the family member in question will not go to counseling, perhaps you could go on your own. A professional therapist can help you figure out how to deal with the family member and how to heal the rift. Reading books on relationships also can help some people, as can joining a support group. [5] X Research source
• If the family problem is rooted in issues like mental illness or substance abuse by you or another family member, a professional may be the only way for the family to start to heal. Some problems may be too complex for you to solve on your own.
• A counselor can help by simply being a neutral, objective ear on the problem. The professional might offer suggestions that you didn't think of or perceive aspects of the conflict that you wouldn't because you are too close to it.
• Reader Poll: We asked 680 wikiHow readers who they go to when they need to talk through a personal issue, and 63% said that they reach out to their best friend for support and understanding. [Take Poll] So you might also find that your closest friends can be an important source of comfort!

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• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pride-and-joy/201205/solving-common-family-problems-five-essential-steps
• ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/7-relationship-problems-how-solve-them
• ↑ http://inspiyr.com/solve-family-problems/
• ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kenneth-barish-phd/how-to-solve-common-famil_b_3366853.html
• ↑ http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-solve-family-problems-solutions-toxic-relatives/

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The Most Common Family Challenges And How To Overcome Them

by Patrick Rogers December 17, 2022, 18:04 23.8k Views

Families, despite their differences, share a common bond and experience a variety of challenges. From financial issues to communication breakdowns, understanding the most common family challenges and how to overcome them is essential for maintaining strong family relationships. This article dives deep into these issues, and provides helpful advice on how to navigate them. With a little patience and understanding, families can come out of these challenges stronger than ever.

Table of Contents

Communication: Poor communication is one of the most common family challenges

Good communication is key to any successful family dynamic. Openly talking about problems, feelings, and ideas can help families stay connected and on the same page. It is important to have a system of communication that works for the entire family, such as weekly family meetings, special one-on-one conversations, or even a family newsletter. Encouraging each family member to share their thoughts, feelings, and ideas is also essential. Having a set of rules and expectations can help promote healthy communication, such as listening to each other without interruption, speaking respectfully, and taking turns when talking. It is also important to be open-minded and willing to compromise. With the right combination of open communication and respect, families can learn to work together to solve problems and build strong bonds.

To overcome this, start by having regular family meetings to discuss any issues that arise

Regular family meetings provide an opportunity for members of the family to bring up any issues that need to be discussed, as well as come together to create solutions. By having regular family meetings, family members can practice communication and problem solving skills. The structure of these meetings can help ensure that everyone is heard, and that all family members are involved in the decision making process. The topics discussed can range from small everyday issues to larger family issues. By setting a regular meeting time, everyone can be sure that their voice is heard, and that any potential issues can be addressed before they become too large. Family meetings also provide a great opportunity to build stronger relationships, strengthen bonds, and work together to come up with creative solutions.

Encourage open and honest dialogue and make sure everyone is heard.

Honest dialogue is essential for families to work through their challenges and build a strong bond. Open communication creates an atmosphere of trust and acceptance, which encourages family members to express their feelings and opinions. To ensure everyone is heard, it is important to create an environment where everyone feels comfortable speaking their minds. This can include setting ground rules such as no interrupting or judging, and providing a safe space for family members to express their feelings without fear of criticism or judgement. Taking turns to speak and allowing each family member to have a say can also help ensure everyone’s voices are heard. It is also important to practice active listening and really pay attention to what each family member is saying. Through an open and honest dialogue, families can work through their challenges and build stronger relationships.

Finances: Finances can be one of the most stressful areas for families

Financial struggles can be a major source of stress for families. Taking the time to create a budget and plan for expenses can help alleviate those worries. Creating a budget and tracking expenses can be a tedious task, but it’s worth it in the long run. The first step is to identify all sources of income and all expenses. This will give you an idea of how much money you have to work with each month. Once you have a budget, you can start planning for the future by setting up an emergency fund, saving for retirement, and setting aside money for big purchases. Having a plan for your finances can help you stay on track and make sure you are able to provide for your family.

To overcome this, create a budget and stick to it

Creating and sticking to a budget is one of the most effective strategies for overcoming common family challenges. A budget is a plan that outlines how you and your family will utilize your income and manage your expenses. It is important to include all of your income sources, including employment, investments and other sources of income. Additionally, list all of your expenses and create a timeline for when they will be paid. This will help you prioritize your expenses and ensure that all of your bills are paid on time. Having a budget also allows you to plan for future expenses, such as vacations or special events. Additionally, it is important to regularly review your budget, as your financial needs may change as your family grows and evolves. By creating and sticking to a budget, you will be able to manage your finances more efficiently and effectively and will be better able to overcome common family challenges.

Make sure everyone is contributing to the shared expenses and that everyone is aware of where their money is going.

Having a financial plan in the family may help reduce any financial strains and make sure everyone is on the same page. One of the most effective strategies is to make a family budget and assign each family member a role in managing the finances. A budget for a family can include setting long-term and short-term goals and objectives, tracking income sources, setting spending limits, and outlining a plan to pay off debt. Additionally, it can be helpful to create a savings account for each family member to ensure that everyone is contributing to their own shared expenses. Having a plan in place to manage the family’s finances will promote transparency and open communication among family members, making it easier to track expenses and ensure that everyone is aware of where their money is going. Furthermore, setting a budget and tracking expenses can help to keep the family’s finances on track and reduce any financial pressures that may arise.

Parenting: Parenting is an ever-evolving job with different challenges

Parenting can be a difficult job, especially as your children grow and develop. With new challenges arising as your children age, it can be difficult to know how to meet these challenges and help your children to develop properly. One key challenge that parents face is how to balance their own needs and responsibilities with their children’s needs and demands. It is important to remember that your children are individuals and have different needs and goals than you do. It is important to be flexible and open to trying different approaches to parenting as your children mature. One way to help manage this challenge is to practice active listening, where you take the time to really listen to what your children are saying and trying to understand their perspectives. This can help you to better understand their needs and wants, and to be able to respond in a way that meets those needs. Additionally, it is important to set clear boundaries and expectations for your children, and to provide consistent discipline when these boundaries are broken. This will help to create an atmosphere of respect and responsibility, which is key for any successful parent-child relationship.

To overcome this, practice positive parenting techniques that focus on encouraging children to make good decisions and teaching them problem solving skills.

When looking for ways to help your family overcome common challenges, positive parenting techniques can be a great way to start. Positive parenting techniques focus on encouraging children to make good decisions and teaching them problem solving skills. This can help to equip your children with the skills they need to navigate difficult situations and to make wise choices. Positive parenting techniques also involve providing children with a structure of expectations and consequences that gives them the tools to self-regulate. As a parent, you can also model good behavior and provide guidance and support when needed. When it comes to overcoming family challenges, positive parenting techniques are a great way to help your children develop the skills they need to succeed.

Conflict: Conflict is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to be destructive

Conflict in a family can present itself in a variety of ways. From arguments to disagreements, family dynamics can be a source of difficulty for many. While it is not possible to avoid conflict altogether, there are ways to approach it that can be conducive to positive outcomes. The most important thing is to communicate clearly and openly. When disagreements occur, it is important to remain respectful of one another, avoid personal attacks, and focus on the issue itself. Additionally, it is helpful to practice active listening to ensure that everyone’s perspective is heard and taken into consideration. This can help to avoid unnecessary escalations and create a more collaborative atmosphere. With patience and understanding, it is possible to work through difficult conversations in a way that can be beneficial to all parties involved. Through clear communication and a willingness to compromise, families can learn to navigate conflict in a constructive manner.

To overcome this, set ground rules and learn how to communicate effectively and calmly.

Setting ground rules and learning how to communicate effectively and calmly are key strategies for overcoming common family challenges. Creating boundaries and expectations for family members can help to reduce tension, increase understanding and build respect. Establishing ground rules can be done by family members discussing issues, listening to each other, and coming up with solutions together. An important part of this process is learning how to talk to each other calmly and constructively. This means using effective communication tools such as active listening, asking open-ended questions, and being aware of body language. Doing so can improve communication and understanding within a family, which is essential for resolving conflicts. Learning how to effectively communicate with family members is a crucial skill that can help to create a positive and harmonious family environment.

Time Management: Balancing work and family responsibilities can be a challenge

Good time management is essential to maintaining a healthy work/life balance. It can be difficult to juggle the demands of work and family life, but it’s important to make sure both are given the attention they require in order to stay healthy and productive. Start by setting aside specific times for work and family, and make sure that both are given the attention they deserve. Make a schedule and stick to it, leaving room for flexibility if needed. Prioritize tasks according to their importance and delegate responsibilities whenever possible. Take time for yourself to relax and recharge. It may help to set small, achievable goals in order to stay on track. Finally, make sure to communicate openly and honestly with family members to ensure that everyone’s needs are being met. With the right strategies, managing time between work and family can be an achievable goal.

To overcome this, create a family calendar and assign tasks to each family member

Creating a family calendar can be a great way to help your family overcome common challenges. By assigning tasks to each family member, it can help them to stay organized and be responsible for their own actions. This can also help to reduce stress levels by ensuring that everyone is aware of their expectations and responsibilities. Having a family calendar also allows everyone to plan ahead, which can help to reduce conflict and promote a more harmonious family environment. Additionally, it can help to ensure that everyone is on the same page and that everyone is working together to reach a common goal. With a family calendar, it’s easy to keep track of upcoming events and appointments, making it easier for everyone to coordinate their schedules and stay organized. This can help to ensure that everyone is on the same page and that family goals are achieved.

This will help ensure that everyone is on the same page and no one is overburdened.

When it comes to family challenges, communication is key. It is important to ensure that everyone is on the same page and that no one is feeling overwhelmed or overburdened. Establishing a weekly family meeting is a great way to get everyone together to discuss any issues that may be arising. During this meeting, each family member should be able to express their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgement. This will help ensure that everyone is heard and that any issues can be addressed in a respectful and productive manner. By engaging in open and honest communication, family members can work together to find solutions that work for everyone. Additionally, taking time for self-care is important for all family members to be able to cope with the challenges that come their way. Taking a break and engaging in activities that bring joy, such as spending time with friends and family, can help restore balance and help family members better handle any challenges that arise.

The Role Of Family Rituals In Creating A Sense Of Belonging And Connection

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FAMILY PROBLEM-SOLVING: HOW DO FAMILIES WITH ADOLESCENTS MAKE DECISIONS?

Abstract In the present study, we adopt an observational method for the analysis of family members' interactions during a problem-solving task. The specific focus of our work is to put the family as a whole beneath the lens of observation, as well as to analyze how the parents and the adolescent separately contribute to the task solution. Twenty-eight non-clinical families with adolescents (13 to 16 years old) were filmed in their homes during a problem-solving task.

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We conducted a two-group longitudinal partially nested randomized controlled trial to examine whether young adolescent youth-parent dyads participating in Mission Possible: Parents and Kids Who Listen, in contrast to a comparison group, would demonstrate improved problem-solving skill. The intervention is based on the Circumplex Model and Social Problem-Solving Theory. The Circumplex Model posits that families who are balanced, that is characterized by high cohesion and flexibility and open communication, function best. Social Problem-Solving Theory informs the process and skills of problem solving. The Conditional Latent Growth Modeling analysis revealed no statistically significant differences in problem solving among the final sample of 127 dyads in the intervention and comparison groups. Analyses of effect sizes indicated large magnitude group effects for selected scales for youth and dyads portraying a potential for efficacy and identifying for whom the intervention may be effi...

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A sample of 118 predominantly European American families with early and middle adolescents (Mages= 12.32 and 15.18 years) and 1 parent evaluated hypothetical conflicts between adolescents’ and parents’ requests for assistance versus the other’s personal desires. Evaluations differed by level of need, but in low-need situations, adolescents viewed teens as more obligated to help parents than did parents, whereas parents rated it as more permissible for teens to satisfy personal desires than did teenagers. Justifications for helping focused on concern for others, role responsibilities, and among parents, psychological reasons. Middle adolescents reasoned about role responsibilities more and viewed satisfying personal desires as less selfish than did early adolescents, but satisfying personal desires was seen as more selfish by parents of middle than early adolescents. Implications for adolescent–parent relationships are discussed.

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Solving Common Family Problems: Five Essential Steps

Engaging children in the solution of problems..

Posted May 28, 2012

In every family, there will be problems. No matter how positive and empathic we have been, kids will still argue and misbehave, and ask for more than they can have. The demands of our daily lives—and of theirs—will inevitably create conflict and misunderstanding.

Often, there is a recurring problem. The problem may be getting ready for school in the morning or going to sleep at night. Or doing homework, or fighting with siblings. Children may be demanding or disrespectful, or refuse to cooperate when asked. Over time, these common problems of daily living begin to erode the quality of our relationships with our children - and our own pleasure in being parents.

So often, families get stuck. Despite our best intentions, children become stubborn and defensive—and so do we. In today’s post, I will outline five essential principles that we should keep in mind in attempting to solve any challenging problem of family life.

Step 1: Take a Step Back

The first step in solving any recurring problem in the life of a child is to take a step back. Problems of family life are best solved - and perhaps can only be solved—proactively. When we are reacting to our children’s behavior, we will often be reacting badly. Clinicians and parent advisors of all points of view agree on this point.

Children want to solve problems, and they want to do well. Like us, however, they may become frustrated and even feel hopeless that solutions are possible. And, like us, they may just not know what to do.

Look for causes, not just symptoms. You will solve problems more successfully when you have been able to identify the daily experiences in the life of your child that are sources of painful feelings. These may be frustration in learning, or frequent criticism, or bullying , or exclusion.

Then, listen to your child’s grievance. Let him tell you what he believes is unfair in his life. Tell him what is right about what he is saying before you tell him what is wrong. You can say, for example, “I know you feel that we are always on your case about your schoolwork, and maybe we are. But we’re worried and we need to solve this problem.”

Step 2: Place the Problem Before Your Child

Once you have identified a recurrent problematic situation and made some effort to understand its causes, the next step is to place the problem before your child. Say, for example, “We have a problem in the morning, when it’s time to get ready, and I often end up yelling at you,” or “I think we have a shower problem,” or “A lot of times, we have a problem when I tell you that it is time to turn off the television.”

Step 3: Elicit Your Child’s Ideas

It seems almost reflexive for many parents, when faced with a child’s defiance or lack of cooperation, to attempt to solve this problem by imposing a “consequence” for their child’s misbehavior. Although some problems may require this approach, I recommend that you first engage your child in an effort to solve the problem—to elicit her ideas.

In this way, you will often be able to engage her in a search for solutions. She will then be less absorbed in angry and defiant thoughts, less stuck in making demands or continuing the argument. She will begin to think, even if just for that moment, less about getting her way and instead about how to solve a problem, how her needs and the needs of others might be reconciled - an important life lesson, for sure.

Once you have placed the problem before your child and asked for her ideas, give her some time. You can say, for example, “Why don’t you think about it for a while? Let’s talk again later, or tomorrow, and see what your ideas are.” In doing this, you will be teaching yet another important lesson, because this is how most problems in life should be solved.

Step 4: Develop a Plan

In my experience, almost all children respond positively when I tell a family that “I have a plan” to solve a recurrent problem of family life. They may be skeptical, but they listen with interest. Deep down, they want a plan, as much as we do. (I will offer plans for solving specific family problems in future posts.)

Step 5: Express Appreciation and Praise for Increments of Effort and Success

Be sure to offer praise and appreciation for every increment of your child’s effort at compliance and self-control . Your acknowledgment of her effort and progress is a basic principle of successful problem solving.

Psychologists have learned from psychotherapy research that ongoing collaboration is an important element of successful therapy. This is also true in solving problems with our children. We should regularly, proactively, check in with children, and ask, for example, “How do you think we are doing with our morning problem?”

Copyright Ken Barish, Ph.D.

Ken Barish is the author of Pride and Joy: A Guide to Understanding Your Child’s Emotions and Solving Family Problems .

Kenneth Barish, Ph.D. , is a clinical associate professor of Psychology at Weill Medical College, Cornell University.

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How to Teach Kids Problem-Solving Skills

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• Steps to Follow
• Allow Consequences

Whether your child can't find their math homework or has forgotten their lunch, good problem-solving skills are the key to helping them manage their life. 

A 2010 study published in Behaviour Research and Therapy found that kids who lack problem-solving skills may be at a higher risk of depression and suicidality.   Additionally, the researchers found that teaching a child problem-solving skills can improve mental health . 

You can begin teaching basic problem-solving skills during preschool and help your child sharpen their skills into high school and beyond.

Why Problem-Solving Skills Matter

Kids face a variety of problems every day, ranging from academic difficulties to problems on the sports field. Yet few of them have a formula for solving those problems.

Kids who lack problem-solving skills may avoid taking action when faced with a problem.

Rather than put their energy into solving the problem, they may invest their time in avoiding the issue.   That's why many kids fall behind in school or struggle to maintain friendships .

Other kids who lack problem-solving skills spring into action without recognizing their choices. A child may hit a peer who cuts in front of them in line because they are not sure what else to do.  

Or, they may walk out of class when they are being teased because they can't think of any other ways to make it stop. Those impulsive choices may create even bigger problems in the long run.

The 5 Steps of Problem-Solving

Kids who feel overwhelmed or hopeless often won't attempt to address a problem. But when you give them a clear formula for solving problems, they'll feel more confident in their ability to try. Here are the steps to problem-solving:  

• Identify the problem . Just stating the problem out loud can make a big difference for kids who are feeling stuck. Help your child state the problem, such as, "You don't have anyone to play with at recess," or "You aren't sure if you should take the advanced math class." 
• Develop at least five possible solutions . Brainstorm possible ways to solve the problem. Emphasize that all the solutions don't necessarily need to be good ideas (at least not at this point). Help your child develop solutions if they are struggling to come up with ideas. Even a silly answer or far-fetched idea is a possible solution. The key is to help them see that with a little creativity, they can find many different potential solutions.
• Identify the pros and cons of each solution . Help your child identify potential positive and negative consequences for each potential solution they identified. 
• Pick a solution. Once your child has evaluated the possible positive and negative outcomes, encourage them to pick a solution.
• Test it out . Tell them to try a solution and see what happens. If it doesn't work out, they can always try another solution from the list that they developed in step two. 

Practice Solving Problems

When problems arise, don’t rush to solve your child’s problems for them. Instead, help them walk through the problem-solving steps. Offer guidance when they need assistance, but encourage them to solve problems on their own. If they are unable to come up with a solution, step in and help them think of some. But don't automatically tell them what to do. 

When you encounter behavioral issues, use a problem-solving approach. Sit down together and say, "You've been having difficulty getting your homework done lately. Let's problem-solve this together." You might still need to offer a consequence for misbehavior, but make it clear that you're invested in looking for a solution so they can do better next time. 

Use a problem-solving approach to help your child become more independent.

If they forgot to pack their soccer cleats for practice, ask, "What can we do to make sure this doesn't happen again?" Let them try to develop some solutions on their own.

Kids often develop creative solutions. So they might say, "I'll write a note and stick it on my door so I'll remember to pack them before I leave," or "I'll pack my bag the night before and I'll keep a checklist to remind me what needs to go in my bag." 

Provide plenty of praise when your child practices their problem-solving skills.  

Allow for Natural Consequences

Natural consequences  may also teach problem-solving skills. So when it's appropriate, allow your child to face the natural consequences of their action. Just make sure it's safe to do so. 

For example, let your teenager spend all of their money during the first 10 minutes you're at an amusement park if that's what they want. Then, let them go for the rest of the day without any spending money.

This can lead to a discussion about problem-solving to help them make a better choice next time. Consider these natural consequences as a teachable moment to help work together on problem-solving.

Becker-Weidman EG, Jacobs RH, Reinecke MA, Silva SG, March JS. Social problem-solving among adolescents treated for depression . Behav Res Ther . 2010;48(1):11-18. doi:10.1016/j.brat.2009.08.006

Pakarinen E, Kiuru N, Lerkkanen M-K, Poikkeus A-M, Ahonen T, Nurmi J-E. Instructional support predicts childrens task avoidance in kindergarten .  Early Child Res Q . 2011;26(3):376-386. doi:10.1016/j.ecresq.2010.11.003

Schell A, Albers L, von Kries R, Hillenbrand C, Hennemann T. Preventing behavioral disorders via supporting social and emotional competence at preschool age .  Dtsch Arztebl Int . 2015;112(39):647–654. doi:10.3238/arztebl.2015.0647

Cheng SC, She HC, Huang LY. The impact of problem-solving instruction on middle school students’ physical science learning: Interplays of knowledge, reasoning, and problem solving . EJMSTE . 2018;14(3):731-743.

Vlachou A, Stavroussi P. Promoting social inclusion: A structured intervention for enhancing interpersonal problem‐solving skills in children with mild intellectual disabilities . Support Learn . 2016;31(1):27-45. doi:10.1111/1467-9604.12112

Öğülmüş S, Kargı E. The interpersonal cognitive problem solving approach for preschoolers .  Turkish J Educ . 2015;4(17347):19-28. doi:10.19128/turje.181093

American Academy of Pediatrics. What's the best way to discipline my child? .

Kashani-Vahid L, Afrooz G, Shokoohi-Yekta M, Kharrazi K, Ghobari B. Can a creative interpersonal problem solving program improve creative thinking in gifted elementary students? .  Think Skills Creat . 2017;24:175-185. doi:10.1016/j.tsc.2017.02.011

Shokoohi-Yekta M, Malayeri SA. Effects of advanced parenting training on children's behavioral problems and family problem solving .  Procedia Soc Behav Sci . 2015;205:676-680. doi:10.1016/j.sbspro.2015.09.106

By Amy Morin, LCSW Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. She's also a psychotherapist, an international bestselling author of books on mental strength and host of The Verywell Mind Podcast. She delivered one of the most popular TEDx talks of all time.

More From Forbes

Approaching wealth transfer need not be risky business.

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Change is the law of life - and learning from the Vanderbilts, families will need to adopt new ... [+] strategies to ensure successful wealth transfers to future generations. Here Gloria Vanderbilt, Cornelius Vanderbilt's great-great granddaughter is is chatting to her sons Anderson Cooper and Carter Vanderbilt Cooper.

One of the most omnipresent - and statistically debated - adages in the family office industry is that wealth is unlikely to traverse succession to a third generation of wealth owner, with 70% of intergenerational wealth transfers failing.

The oft-cited Vanderbilt example posits that as families expand and diverge, their interests and abilities to manage the family wealth decline.

A new report on Operational Excellence from Campden Wealth and AlTi Tiedeman Global, which reported that of surveyed family office employees, 53% of respondents were dissatisfied with next-generation education, while a further 33% were dissatisfied with succession planning.

This data is backed up by two recent Simple polls that surveyed family offices, 22% of those surveyed indicated that they’d view wealth transfer and succession as the single biggest risk facing their family office. A further 21% indicated that they’d classify succession and wealth transfer to a new generation as the single biggest risk to their family office’s reputation.

What, then, makes succession so unique at this early point in the 21st century?

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Transferring wealth to the next generation can be fraught with risks due to a variety of factors. Not only can these risks include the readiness of the heirs, the complexity of managing wealth, and the possibility of family disputes, but can further hinge on the different attitudes, circumstances, and positions new wealth owners take in a rapidly changing world.

A Lack Of Preparedness For Wealth Transfer

To reference Campden Wealth’s findings on family office employee dissatisfaction, upcoming generations may not be suitably prepared to handle and maintain the wealth they receive.

This could stem from a lack of financial education, experience, or interest in managing finances. But sometimes they were simply not aware of the family’s financial situation or wealth.

Without the required skills, these new wealth holders might make unwise investment choices or be unable to protect their assets effectively.

Generational Differences in Values and Goals

Each generation may have different values, goals, and ideas about how to use wealth.

For instance, younger generations might be more inclined towards entrepreneurial pursuits or socially responsible investing, which might differ from how previous generations created or managed a family’s wealth.

According to a report by New Wealth Rising , a staggering 52% of HNW respondents indicated their beliefs about wealth were markedly different from their parents’ view.

Changing generational views - and the fact that wealth is becoming more diverse - can mean that while integrating new attitudes or viewpoints is necessary, it may not always be straightforward.

These differences can lead to decisions that may not align with long-term wealth preservation strategies.

Family Dynamics and Conflicts

Wealth transition can exacerbate underlying family tensions and lead to conflicts. Disputes may arise over the distribution of assets, control of family businesses, and the roles different family members will play.

While in some cases communication might cause conflict, a lack of communication may as well - a finding from T. Rowe Price cites that of surveyed clients, 50% of high net worth respondents are more reluctant to speak openly about their wealth with family members.

Such conflicts can not only threaten family cohesion but also lead to costly legal disputes that can erode the family's assets.

Tax Implications and Legal Challenges

Inheriting wealth often comes with complex tax implications and legal challenges. Inadequate planning and wealth structuring can lead to significant tax liabilities, which can diminish inheritances. In some regions such as Norway structuring using special entities wasn’t a consideration until recently when a 1% wealth tax was introduced that saw a mass-exodus of wealthy individuals to Switzerland. But even when wealth has been structured in a tax-optimized manner, laws change and suddenly this is no longer relevant. One recent example where a lot of locked-up capital recently freed up that were kept in secure holding entities and more tax changes are on the horizon .

Even when well-structured without any legislative changes, compliance with legal requirements for trusts, estates, and other holding structures can be complicated and mismanagement can lead to legal troubles.

Economic and Market Risks

Economic conditions and market volatility can also pose risks to inherited wealth. If the transfer coincides with a market downturn or a poor economic climate, the value of the inherited assets could significantly decrease. This can become really complicated and difficult to plan for especially when we not only have a new type of wealth owner, but also new ways of investing.

Again, with some proper planning the succession process could be started a lot earlier, providing more flexibility on how- and when wealth transfers.

Taking A Next-Gen Approach To Wealth Transfer

To return to the adage that 70% of intergenerational wealth transfers fail by the 3rd generation , let’s examine why the remaining 30% might succeed.

While complex, a powerful way for family offices to prepare future generations for wealth transfer is to align that generation’s financial inclinations with the family’s wealth preservation strategy.

For example, a family that has amassed wealth from a transportation empire might include socially focused younger generations in environmental impact initiatives or business transformation opportunities. As a first step, involving younger generations in philanthropic activities can also provide a platform for learning, but with less commercial risk.

By doing so, families can bond - and this in turn can be an excellent way to foster generational alignment and education. In this manner, elder family members can help younger generations succeed by combining passion with purpose - and provide insight and instruction during their shared time together.

Lastly, while economic storms can occur at any time, a tight-knit crew knows when and how to adjust their ship’s sails. Holistic financial planning, as well as educating future generations on market risks, can be helpful in securing both involvement from future wealth owners as well as their participation in strategy.

For Family Offices, The Right Investments Matter

There’s a clear reason why family offices should anticipate wealth transfer as an existential risk - however, there is also a clear opportunity for family offices to make this leap with a next-generation mindset.

Learning from the Vanderbilts, the advantage for modern family offices is two-fold; just as they would make monetary investments, making the right investments in family dynamics and values, while further setting up sound legal and financial structures to protect a family’s assets and ensure a smooth transition, can make all the difference in enabling future generations of wealth owners to thrive.

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The Protesters and the President

Over the past week, thousands of students protesting the war in gaza have been arrested..

This transcript was created using speech recognition software. While it has been reviewed by human transcribers, it may contain errors. Please review the episode audio before quoting from this transcript and email [email protected] with any questions.

From “New York Times,” I’m Michael Barbaro. This is “The Daily.”

Free, free, Palestine!

Free, free Palestine!

Free, free, free Palestine!

Over the past week, what had begun as a smattering of pro-Palestinian protests on America’s college campuses exploded into a nationwide movement —

United, we’ll never be defeated!

— as students at dozens of universities held demonstrations, set up encampments, and at times seized academic buildings.

[PROTESTERS CLAMORING]:

response, administrators at many of those colleges decided to crack down —

Do not throw things at our officers. We will use chemical munitions that include gas.

— calling in local police to carry out mass detentions and arrests. From Arizona State —

In the name of the state of Arizona, I declare this gathering to be a violation of —

— to the University of Georgia —

— to City College of New York.

[PROTESTERS CHANTING, “BACK OFF”]:

As of Thursday, police had arrested 2,000 students on more than 40 campuses. A situation so startling that President Biden could no longer ignore it.

Look, it’s basically a matter of fairness. It’s a matter of what’s right. There’s the right to protest, but not the right to cause chaos.

Today, my colleagues Jonathan Wolfe and Peter Baker on a history-making week. It’s Friday, May 3.

Jonathan, as this tumultuous week on college campuses comes to an end, it feels like the most extraordinary scenes played out on the campus of the University of California Los Angeles, where you have been reporting. What is the story of how that protest started and ultimately became so explosive?

So late last week, pro-Palestinian protesters set up an encampment at the University of California, Los Angeles.

From the river to the sea!

Palestine will be free!

Palestine —

It was right in front of Royce Hall, which I don’t know if you are familiar with UCLA, but it’s a very famous, red brick building. It’s on all the brochures. And there was two things that stood out about this encampment. And the first thing was that they barricaded the encampment.

The encampment, complete with tents and barricades, has been set up in the middle of the Westwood campus. The protesters demand —

They have metal grates. They had wooden pallets. And they separated themselves from the campus.

This is kind of interesting. There are controlling access, as we’ve been talking about. They are trying to control who is allowed in, who is allowed out.

They sort of policed the area. So they only would let people that were part of their community, they said, inside.

I’m a UCLA student. I deserve to go here. We paid tuition. This is our school. And they’re not letting me walk in. Why can’t I go? Will you let me go in?

We’re not engaging with that.

Then you can move. Will you move?

And the second thing that stood out about this camp was that it immediately attracted pro-Israel counterprotesters.

And what did the leadership of UCLA say about all of this, the encampment and these counterprotesters?

So the University of California’s approach was pretty unique. They had a really hands-off approach. And they allowed the pro-Palestinian protesters to set up an encampment. They allowed the counterprotesters to happen. I mean, this is a public university, so anyone who wants to can just enter the campus.

So when do things start to escalate?

So there were definitely fights and scuffles through the weekend. But a turning point was really Sunday —

[SINGING IN HEBREW]:

— when this group called the Israeli American Council, they’re a nonprofit organization, organized a rally on campus. The Israeli American Council has really been against these pro-Palestinian protests. They say that they’re antisemitic. So this nonprofit group sets up a stage with a screen really just a few yards from the pro-Palestinian encampment.

We are grateful that this past Friday, the University of California, stated that they will continue to oppose any calls for boycott and divestment from Israel!

[PROTESTERS CHEERING]

And they host speakers and they held prayers.

Jewish students, you’re not alone! Oh, you’re not alone! We are right here with you! And we’re right here with you in until —

[WORDLESS SINGING]:

And then lots of other people start showing up. And the proximity between protesters and counterprotesters and even some agitators, makes it really clear that something was about to happen.

And what was that? What ended up happening?

On Monday night, a group of about 60 counterprotesters tried to breach the encampment there. And the campus police had to break it up. And things escalated again on Tuesday.

They stormed the barricades and it’s a complete riot.

[PROTESTER SHOUTING]:

Put it down! Put it down! Put it down!

I went to report on what happened just a few hours after it ended.

And I spoke to a lot of protesters. And I met one demonstrator, Marie.

Yeah, my first name is Marie. M-A-R-I-E. Last name, Salem.

And Marie described what happened.

So can you just tell me a little bit about what happened last night?

Last night, we were approached by over a hundred counterprotesters who were very mobilized and ready to break into camp. They proceeded to try to breach our barricades extremely violently.

Marie said it started getting out of hand when counterprotesters started setting off fireworks towards the camp.

They had bear spray. They had Mace. They were throwing wood and spears. Throwing water bottles, continuing fireworks.

So she said that they were terrified. It was just all hands on deck. Everyone was guarding the barricades.

Every time someone experienced the bear spray or Mace or was hit and bleeding, we had some medics in the front line. And then we had people —

And they said that they were just trying to take care of people who were injured.

I mean, at any given moment, there was 5 to 10 people being treated.

So what she described to me sounded more like a battlefield than a college campus.

And it was just a complete terror and complete abandonment of the university, as we also watched private security watch this the entire time on the stairs. And some LAPD were stationed about a football field length back from these counterprotesters, and did not make a single arrest, did not attempt to stop any violence, did not attempt to get in between the two groups. No attempt.

I should say, I spoke to a state authorities and eyewitnesses and they confirmed Marie’s account about what happened that night, both in terms of the violence that took place at the encampment and how law enforcement responded. So in the end, people ended up fighting for hours before the police intervened.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

So in her mind, UCLA’s hands-off approach, which seemed to have prevailed throughout this entire period, ends up being way too hands off in a moment when students were in jeopardy.

That’s right. And so at this point, the protesters in the encampment started preparing for two possibilities. One was that this group of counterprotesters would return and attack them. And the second one was that the police would come and try to break up this encampment.

So they started building up the barricades. They start reinforcing them with wood. And during the day, hundreds of people came and brought them supplies. They brought food.

They brought helmets, goggles, earplugs, saline solution, all sorts of things these people could use to defend themselves. And so they’re really getting ready to burrow in. And in the end, it was the police who came.

[PROTESTERS SHOUTING]:

So Wednesday at 7:00 PM, they made an announcement on top of Royce Hall, which overlooks the encampment —

— administrative criminal actions up to and including arrest. Please leave the area immediately.

And they told people in the encampment that they needed to leave or face arrest.

[DRUM BEATING]: [PROTESTERS CHANTING]

And so as night falls, they put on all this gear that they’ve been collecting, the goggles, the masks and the earplugs, and they wait for the police.

[DRUM BEATING]:

And so the police arrive and station themselves right in front of the encampment. And then at a certain point, they storm the back stairs of the encampment.

[PROTESTERS CHANTING]:

And this is the stairs that the protesters have been using to enter and exit the camp. And they set up a line. And the protesters do this really surprising thing.

The people united!

They open up umbrellas. They have these strobe lights. And they’re flashing them at the police, who just slowly back out of the camp.

[PROTESTERS CHEERING]:

And so at this point, they’re feeling really great. They’re like, we did it. We pushed them out of their camp. And when the cops try to push again on those same set of stairs —

[PROTESTER SHOUTS]:

Hold your ground!

— the protesters organized themselves with all these shields that they had built earlier. And they go and confront them. And so there’s this moment where the police are trying to push up the stairs. And the protesters are literally pushing them back.

Push them back! Push them back!

Push them back!

And at a certain point, dozens of the police officers who were there, basically just turn around and leave.

So how does this eventually come to an end?

So at a certain point, the police push in again. Most of the conflict is centered at the front of these barricades. And the police just start tearing them apart.

[METAL CLANGING]

[CLAMORING]

They removed the front barricade. And in its place is this group of protesters who have linked arms and they’re hanging on to each other. And the police are trying to pull protesters one by one away from this group.

He’s just a student! Back off!

But they’re having a really hard time because there’s so many protesters. And they’re all just hanging on to each other.

We’re moving back now.

So at a certain point, one of the police officers started firing something into the crowd. We don’t exactly know what it was. But it really spooked the protesters.

Stop shooting at kids! Fuck you! Fuck them!

They started falling back. Everyone was really scared. The protesters were yelling, don’t shoot us. And at that point, the police just stormed the camp.

Get back. Get back.

Back up now!

And so after about four hours of this, the police pushed the protesters out of the encampment. They had arrested about 200 protesters. And this was finally over.

And I’m just curious, Jonathan, because you’re standing right there, you are bearing witness to this all, what you were thinking, what your impressions of this were.

I mean, I was stunned. These are mostly teenagers. This is a college campus, an institution of higher learning. And what I saw in front of me looked like a war zone.

[TENSE MUSIC]

The massive barricade, the police coming in with riot gear, and all this violence was happening in front of these red brick buildings that are famous for symbolizing a really open college campus. And everything about it was just totally surreal.

Well, Jonathan, thank you very much. We appreciate it.

Thanks, Michael.

We’ll be right back.

Peter, around 10:00 AM on Thursday morning as the smoke is literally still clearing at the University of California Los Angeles, you get word that President Biden is going to speak.

Right, exactly. It wasn’t on his public schedule. He was about to head to Andrews Air Force base in order to take a trip. And then suddenly, we got the notice that he was going to be addressing the cameras in the Roosevelt Room.

They didn’t tell us what he was going to talk about. But it was pretty clear, I think. Everybody understood that it was going to be about these campus protests, about the growing violence and the clashes with police, and the arrests that the entire country had been watching on TV every night for the past week, and I think that we were watching just that morning with UCLA. And it reached the point where he just had to say something.

And why, in his estimation and those of his advisors, was this the moment that Biden had to say something?

Well, it kind of reached a boiling point. It kind of reached the impression of a national crisis. And you expect to hear your president address it in this kind of a moment, particularly because it’s about his own policy. His policy toward Israel is at the heart of these protests. And he was getting a lot of grief. He was getting a lot of grief from Republicans who were chiding him for not speaking out personally. He hadn’t said anything in about 10 days.

He’s getting a lot of pressure from Democrats, too, who wanted him to come out and be more forceful. It wasn’t enough, in their view, to leave it to his spokespeople to say something. Moderate Democrats felt he needed to come out and take some leadership on this.

And so at the appointed moment, Peter, what does Biden actually say in the Roosevelt Room of the White House?

Good morning.

Before I head to North Carolina, I wanted to speak for a few moments about what’s going on, on our college campuses here.

Well, it comes in the Roosevelt Room and he talks to the camera. And he talks about the two clashing imperatives of American principle.

The first is the right to free speech and for people to peacefully assemble and make their voices heard. The second is the rule of law. Both must be upheld.

One is freedom of speech. The other is the rule of law.

In fact, peaceful protest is in the best tradition of how Americans respond to consequential issues. But, but, neither are we a lawless country.

In other words, what he’s saying is, yes, I support the right of these protesters to come out and object to even my own policy, in effect, is what he’s saying. But it shouldn’t trail into violence.

Destroying property is not a peaceful protest. It’s against the law. Vandalism, trespassing, breaking windows, shutting down campuses —

It shouldn’t trail into taking over buildings and obstructing students from going to class or canceling their graduations.

Threatening people, intimidating people, instilling fear in people is not peaceful protest. It’s against the law.

And he leans very heavily into this idea that what he’s seeing these days goes beyond the line.

I understand people have strong feelings and deep convictions. In America, we respect the right and protect the right for them to express that. But it doesn’t mean anything goes.

It has crossed into harassment and expressions of hate in a way that goes against the national character.

As president, I will always defend free speech. And I will always be just as strong and standing up for the rule of law. That’s my responsibility to you, the American people, and my obligation to the Constitution. Thank you very much.

Right, as I watched the speech, I heard his overriding message to basically be, I, the president of the United States, am drawing a line. These protests and counterprotests, the seizing and defacing of campus buildings, class disruption, all of it, name calling, it’s getting out of hand. That there’s a right way to do this. And what I’m seeing is the wrong way to do it and it has to stop.

That’s exactly right. And as he’s wrapping up, reporters, of course, ask questions. And the first question is —

Mr. President, have the protests forced you to reconsider any of the policies with regard to the region?

— will this change your policy toward the war in Gaza? Which, of course, is exactly what the protesters want. That’s the point.

And he basically says —

— no. Just one word, no.

Right. And that felt kind of important, as brief and fleeting as it was, because at the end of the day, what he’s saying to these protesters is, I’m not going to do what you want. And basically, your protests are never going to work. I’m not going to change the US’s involvement in this war.

Yeah, that’s exactly right. He is saying, I’m not going to be swayed by angry people in the streets. I’m going to do what I think is right when it comes to foreign policy. Now, what he thinks is that they’re not giving him enough credit for trying to achieve what they want, which is an end of the war.

He has been pressuring Israel and Hamas to come to a deal for a ceasefire that will, hopefully, in his view, would then lead to a more enduring end of hostilities. But, of course, this deal hasn’t gone anywhere. Hamas, in particular, seems to be resisting it. And so the president is left with a policy of arming Israel without having found a way yet to stop the war.

Right. I wonder, though, Peter, if we’re being honest, don’t these protests, despite what Biden is saying there, inevitably exert a kind of power over him? Becoming one of many pressures, but a pressure nonetheless that does influence how he thinks about these moments. I mean, here he is at the White House devoting an entire conversation to the nation to these campus protests.

Well, look, he knows this feeds into the political environment in which he’s running for re-election, in which he basically has people who otherwise might be his supporters on the left disenchanted with him. And he knows that there’s a cost to be paid. And that certainly, obviously, is in his head as he’s thinking about what to do.

But I think his view of the war is changing by the day for all sorts of reasons. And most of them having to do with realities on the ground. He has decided that Israel has gone far enough, if not too far, in the way it has conducted this operation in Gaza.

He is upset about the humanitarian crisis there. And he’s looking for a way to wrap all this up into a move that would move to peacemaking, beginning to get the region to a different stage, maybe have a deal with the Saudis to normalize relations with Israel in exchange for some sort of a two-state solution that would eventually resolve the Palestinian issue at its core.

So I think it’s probably fair to say that the protests won’t move him in an immediate kind of sense. But they obviously play into the larger zeitgeist of the moment. And I also think it’s important to know who Joe Biden is at heart.

Explain that.

He’s not drawn to activism. He was around in 1968, the last time we saw this major conflagration at Columbia University, for instance. At the time, Joe Biden was a law student in Syracuse, about 250 miles away. And he was an institutionalist even then.

He was just focused on his studies. He was about to graduate. He was thinking about the law career. And he didn’t really have much of an affinity, I think, for his fellow students of that era, for their activist way of looking at things.

He tells a story in his memoir about walking down a street in Syracuse one day to go to the pizza shop with some friends. And they walk by the administration building. And they see people hanging out of the windows. They’re hanging SDS banners. That’s the Students for a Democratic Society, which was one of the big activist groups of the era.

And he says, they were taking over the building. And we looked up and said, look at those assholes. That’s how far apart from the antiwar movement I was. That’s him writing in his memoir.

So to a young Joe Biden, those who devote their time and their energy to protesting the war are, I don’t need to repeat the word twice, but they’re losers. They’re not worth his time.

Well, I think it’s the tactics they’re using more than the goals that he disagreed with. He would tell you he disagreed with the Vietnam War. He was for civil rights. But he thought that taking over a building was performative, was all about getting attention, and that there was a better way, in his view, to do it.

He was somebody who wanted to work inside the system. He said in an interview quite a few years back, he says, look, I was wearing sports coats in that era. He saw himself becoming part of the system, not somebody trying to tear it down.

And so how should we think about that Joe Biden, when we think about this Joe Biden? I mean, the Joe Biden who, as a young man, looked upon antiwar protesters with disdain and the one who is now president and his very own policies have inspired such ferocious campus protests?

Yeah, that Joe Biden, the 1968 Joe Biden, he could just throw on a sports coat, go to the pizza shop with his friends, make fun of the activists and call them names, and then that’s it. They didn’t have to affect his life. But that’s not what 2024 Joe Biden can do.

Now, wherever he goes, he’s dogged by this. He goes to speeches and people are shouting at him, Genocide Joe! Genocide Joe! He is the target of the same kind of a movement that he disdained in 1968. And so as much as he would like to ignore it or move on or focus on other things, I think this has become a defining image of his year and one of the defining images, perhaps, of his presidency. And 2024 Joe Biden can’t simply ignore it.

Well, Peter, thank you very much. We appreciate it.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Here’s what else you need to know today. During testimony on Thursday in Donald Trump’s hush money trial, jurors heard a recording secretly made by Trump’s former fixer, Michael Cohen, in which Trump discusses a deal to buy a woman’s silence. In the recording, Trump asks Cohen about how one payment made by Trump to a woman named Karen McDougal would be financed. The recording could complicate efforts by Trump’s lawyers to distance him from the hush money deals at the center of the trial.

A final thing to know, tomorrow morning, we’ll be sending you the latest episode from our colleagues over at “The Interview.” This week, David Marchese talks with comedy star Marlon Wayans about his new stand-up special.

It’s a high that you get when you don’t know if this joke that I’m about to say is going to offend everybody. Are they going to walk out? Are they going to boo me? Are they going to hate this. And then you tell it, and everybody cracks up and you’re like, woo.

Today’s episode was produced by Diana Nguyen, Luke Vander Ploeg, Alexandra Leigh Young, Nina Feldman, and Carlos Prieto. It was edited by Lisa Chow and Michael Benoist. It contains original music by Dan Powell and Marion Lozano, and was engineered by Chris Wood. Our theme music is by Jim Brunberg and Ben Landsverk of Wonderly.

That’s it for “The Daily.” I’m Michael Barbaro. See you on Monday.

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• May 6, 2024   •   29:23 R.F.K. Jr.’s Battle to Get on the Ballot
• May 3, 2024   •   25:33 The Protesters and the President
• May 2, 2024   •   29:13 Biden Loosens Up on Weed
• May 1, 2024   •   35:16 The New Abortion Fight Before the Supreme Court
• April 30, 2024   •   27:40 The Secret Push That Could Ban TikTok
• April 29, 2024   •   47:53 Trump 2.0: What a Second Trump Presidency Would Bring
• April 26, 2024   •   21:50 Harvey Weinstein Conviction Thrown Out

Hosted by Michael Barbaro

Featuring Jonathan Wolfe and Peter Baker

Produced by Diana Nguyen ,  Luke Vander Ploeg ,  Alexandra Leigh Young ,  Nina Feldman and Carlos Prieto

Edited by Lisa Chow and Michael Benoist

Original music by Dan Powell and Marion Lozano

Engineered by Chris Wood

Listen and follow The Daily Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube

Warning: this episode contains strong language.

Over the past week, students at dozens of universities held demonstrations, set up encampments and, at times, seized academic buildings. In response, administrators at many of those colleges decided to crack down and called in the local police to detain and arrest demonstrators.

As of Thursday, the police had arrested 2,000 people across more than 40 campuses, a situation so startling that President Biden could no longer ignore it.

Jonathan Wolfe, who has been covering the student protests for The Times, and Peter Baker, the chief White House correspondent, discuss the history-making week.

On today’s episode

Jonathan Wolfe , a senior staff editor on the newsletters team at The New York Times.

Peter Baker , the chief White House correspondent for The New York Times covering President Biden and his administration.

Background reading

As crews cleared the remnants of an encampment at U.C.L.A., students and faculty members wondered how the university could have handled protests over the war in Gaza so badly .

Biden denounced violence on campus , breaking his silence after a rash of arrests.

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Jonathan Wolfe is a senior staff editor on the newsletters team at The Times. More about Jonathan Wolfe

Peter Baker is the chief White House correspondent for The Times. He has covered the last five presidents and sometimes writes analytical pieces that place presidents and their administrations in a larger context and historical framework. More about Peter Baker

Luke Vander Ploeg is a senior producer on “The Daily” and a reporter for the National Desk covering the Midwest. More about Luke Vander Ploeg

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